The Good-Enough Mother:
After effects
Presented by
Jessica Ferreira and Colette Spear
Overview
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Object Relations
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What is object relations theory?
Freud’s views
Mahler’s process of separation individuation
Piaget’s object permanence
Overview Cont.
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Donald Winnicott’s Theory
 Good-enough mother
 Holding/facilitating environment
 Subjective omnipotence
 Transitional experience and objects
 Objective reality
 True and false self
After effects
 Optimal development
 Psychopathology and therapy
Object Relations Theory
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What is Object Relations Theory?
Object relations theory is a psychoanalytic
approach that explains:
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human development,
behaviour,
psychopathology and
relationships
according to the affectionate attachments
that children make in early life
Object Relations
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Object:
particular people, or the
targets of children’s
affection,feelings or
intentions
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Relations:
relationships and
interactions that take
place between children
and the significant
people in their lives
Object Relations
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Internal Working Model of Attachment
Relations:
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Conscious and unconscious rules and mental
representations
Guide behaviour with reference to attachment
relationships and events
Expectations about patterns of relationships and
interactions
Are able to change as the individual develops
Object Relations: Freud
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Infant cannot discriminate between things in the
environment: between person and object
This creates tension within the infant and
frustration of the libido or life drive
The infant may experience signal anxiety
(separation anxiety) when the object or mother is
separated from the infant
Infant’s initial attachments and internal working
model of relations develop as a result of the
mother gratifying the infant’s needs and drives
Object Relations Freud Cont.
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Infant will view the mother as being good or bad,
depending on whether she successfully satisfies
or frustrates the infant’s needs
Infant will gradually achieve a sense of object
constancy
Object Relations: Mahler
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Process of Separation Individuation:
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Symbiotic phase
Differentiation phase
Practicing phase
Rapprochement phase
Object constancy
Object Relations: Piaget
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Stages of Cognitive Development:
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Sensorimotor stage
Preoperational stage
Concrete operational stage
Formal operational stage
Object Permanence:
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The awareness or recognition that a physical
object is permanent and continues to exist, even
when the object is no longer visible
Example: Searching for a hidden toy
Donald Winnicott:
The Good-Enough Mother
Donald Winnicott: Terms
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The ‘good-enough mother’
Holding (facilitating) environment
Transitional experience
State of maternal preoccupation
Subjective omnipotence
Objective reality
True Self
False Self
Focus
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The mother’s role in her child’s
emotional development from a
dependent infant into a ‘nearly’
independent adult
What makes a mother a good-enough
mother?
Stage 1:
Subjective
Omnipotence (Me)
Birth…
 The infant is totally dependent on the mother to fulfill
basic needs, e.g. food
 Mother responds to infant without hesitation
At this stage the mother is in a ‘state of maternal preoccupation’
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Baby
Baby
Baby
Baby
cries when hungry  mother breast-feeds child
cries when hungry  mother produces object (breast)
cries when hungry  breast appears
wishes for breast  breast appears
Baby believes itself to be magical : ‘subjective omnipotence’
Subjective Omnipotence Cont.
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The mother, or the mother’s breast = the object of
the infant’s love
The infant perceives the object as part of the self
Self
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object/mother/breast
The infant cannot differentiate between the mother
(or breast) and the self
This is a subjective phenomenon – an illusion of
being-at-one with the object.
Subjective Omnipotence and
the Good-Enough Mother
Within the context of the first stage, what is a
‘good-enough mother’?
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A mother who is in a state of maternal
preoccupation: creates the illusion of
subjective omnipotence
A mother who intuitively knows when her
baby is ready to move to the next stage
Illusion  Disillusion
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The good-enough mother begins to distance
herself from her child in response to her
child’s growing need for independence.
The good-enough mother first provides the
child with an illusion that a breast appears
when wished for (omnipotence)
Then she creates the disillusion (removal of
omnipotent thinking) that progressively
introduces the child into the social world as a
separate being.
Object Reality (Not-Me/Other-ThanMe)
An awareness of the mother as an object
separate from the self begins to form
Self
object/mother/breast
The baby begins to realise:
 There is a world outside of the self which does not
respond to a wish (the dissolution of the subjective
omnipotence)
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The object of reality (outside world) sometimes
responds negatively
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The good-enough mother ensures that the child
feels safe without being overprotective
Final Stage:
‘Near-’Independence
Self
objects
Winnicott makes the important distinction between:
 pure independence; and
 ‘never absolute’ independence
Throughout life it’s necessary to both:
 depend on others; and
 be depended on
A psychologically healthy person is neither
overdependent, nor isolated.
The Transitional Experience
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The mother allows for increasing time lapses
between the child’s demands for attention or need
gratification and her responses.
Refers to this as the mother’s ‘failure’
The child experiences both frustration at having to
wait and a new found freedom within which to grow.
The good-enough mother will only ‘fail’ her child at a
rate that the child is able to deal with.
Coping with Frustration
In order to cope with the mother’s failure and the
resulting frustration, the child will:
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Recognise that the time lapses are limited
Become aware of a sense of progress
Develop mental activities which assists in deterring the
child during times of frustration
Indulge in auto-erotic stimulation, for example thumb
sucking
Experience memories, fantasies, dreams, and reliving
previous experiences: the integration of the past,
present, and future.
Transitional Experience
Subjective
Omnipotence
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Objective
Reality
Near
Independence
The intermediate zone between stages = the
transitional experience
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The mother’s ability to provide a facilitating
environment during this transition is essential
Transitional Object
As the mother increases the distance between herself and her
child the child may become anxious
A transitional object acts as a:
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Psychological comforter
Psychological connection with the mother
A defense mechanism for fear and anxiety
during the mother’s absence.
The transition object is not a replacement
for the mother, but rather a representation
of the mother during her absence.
Holding Environment
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“Nothing takes place in emotional
growth except in relation to the
environmental provision, which must be
good enough”
The good-enough mother provides a
good-enough holding environment
Holding Environment Cont.
An Analogy: The tale of the butterfly
Once upon a time a little girl came
across a cocoon which was wriggling
around as a butterfly began it’s entry
into the world…
The Holding Environment
cont.
Upon seeing this, the little girl
decided to help the butterfly
on it’s journey into the world
and she plucked the cocoon
from the bark of the tree and
proceeded to open the cocoon
herself to set the butterfly
free…
 The butterfly spread it’s
wings…
……..
………and promptly died.
The butterfly was not quite ready to experience
the transition between stages. The holding
environment was suddenly changed and the
butterfly was not yet able to exist in the new,
adapted, environment.
Holding Environment cont.
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The mother adjusts the holding environment
(distancing herself to create more freedom for her
child to become an individual) only in accordance
with her child’s capacity to cope
The good-enough mother:
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follows her child’s cues
intuitively understands her child’s changing needs
adapting the holding environment accordingly – creating the
ideal therapeutic environment
A continuity of care is essential in the holding
environment for a child’s healthy development, i.e.
the quality of care changes but the child knows the
mother continues to care.
Holding Environment: The
Good-Enough Mother
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The good-enough mother knows how to
gradually increase the distance between
herself and her child.
This process of differentiation cannot be
sudden for the child will become insecure and
untrusting if his, or her, feeling of control is
shattered.
The good-enough mother is finely tuned to
her child’s progression towards an
independent self, moving at the child’s pace
and not at her own.
The True Self & the False Self
healthy true self
healthy false self
THE TRUE SELF:
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unhealthy false self
pathology
Within every infant a true self exists.
The true self is the self that behaves spontaneously, is built on
integrity, and exists, that is, the true self is not created.
The good-mother facilitates the growth and expression of the
child’s true self by allowing the child to be creative and
spontaneous
The True Self & False Self
cont.
THE FALSE SELF
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The false self is a mask which an individual wears
when complying with the social norms of society
The not-good-enough mother wears this mask when
interacting with her child  her child, in response to
the unnaturalness and unauthentic relationship with
the mother, develops his or her own false self.
The child continues to develop new relationships as
the false self, adapting to the demands of the
environment with compliance.
True Self & False Self
Healthy individual:
 On average behaves in accordance with true self
 When called upon to wear the false mask – still stays
true to self
 Future authentic relationships with others
Unhealthy Pathological Individual:
 When wearing the false mask, continues to be false
to himself or herself
 Feels a sense of unreality, of not being alive and
happy.
After Effects
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Optimal Development:
Healthy development of an independent
and responsible individual who is able to
form and maintain warm, loving
relationships with others as well as
maintaining a healthy balance between the
false and true self
After Effects: Psychopathology
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When the false self dominates over the true self and
the individual is then unable to express him or herself
in an authentic manner
Defence mechanisms that are used by the infant in
order to cope with external demands may become
maladaptive and pathological later in life
Splitting, introjection, projection
Emotionless, abusive, ineffective or inconsistent
parenting can also lead to psychopathology
After Effects: Therapy
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Importance of genuine understanding and the
personal relationship between therapist and child or
adult
Winnicott’s squiggle game
Therapeutic Steps:
Step 1:
 Assess the child or adult and build a
trusting relationship in order to
gain better insight
After Effects: Therapy cont.
Step 2:
 Identify the child or adult’s maladaptive
relational patterns and problems and
restructure them in a cognitive and affective
manner
Step 3:
 Encourage behavioural change to occur, with
the therapist providing a secure platform for
the child or adult to experiment and explore
Conclusion
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Object Relations Theories:
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Focus on how relatedness and love form
the motivation for human behaviour and
attachment in relationships
Winnicott (2005): “a baby can be fed
without love, but loveless or impersonal
management cannot succeed in producing
a new autonomous human being”
FINALLY!!!
The End