Self-Evaluation:
 Using the read-around samples and what you
gleaned from yesterday’s reading:
 Reread your Lincoln paper with an eye for scoring
 Score your paper.
 Which essay is yours most like? Why?
 What two things could you do to improve it? (Check your list from
yesterday.)
 Read a peer’s paper and self-evaluation. Do you agree with their
score? Why/why not?
Let’s talk Weeds and Roses
 You’ll get your Lincoln score from yours truly back
tomorrow
 We will revise a paragraph from “My Life as an
Undocumented Immigrant” tomorrow based on today’s
feedback.
Lincoln
Weeds and Roses
Weed #1: Use the jargon you know
 I was a mean, evil , 90/90 harpie for
a reason
 Instead of saying “Lincoln repeats
the beginning of each line with
‘neither,’ what term should you use?
 Why is employing jargon
helpful/important in Literary
Analysis?
Weed #2: Flyswat
How does a
flyswatter
work?
Whack the crap out of the fly!
Make your analysis specific and meaningful
(have something interesting to say).
BLANKET statements
(generic, simplified, duh)
vs.
FLY SWATTER analysis
(on-the-nose-specificthat’s-exactly-what-it-is!)
Examples of Non-flyswatting:
 “Lincoln uses the same words over and over to draw the
audience in.”
 “The use of the Bible allows both sides to come together as
one.”
Non-flyswatting:
 “Lincoln uses the same
words over and over
to draw the audience
in.”
Flyswatting:
 Lincoln utilizes anaphora when he
begins several successive sentences with
the word “neither”: “Neither party
expected…neither anticipated…”
While the word connotates a negative,
it actually has the effect of illustrating
similarities between the North and
South—both were ignorant in their
assumptions of the war. By highlighting
likeness of the two groups, Lincoln can
begin to discuss them not as a nation
divided, but as one entity. Forming a
solitary group is indispensable if the
Union is to reconcile and reconstruct.
Now you try:
 “The use of the Bible allows
both sides to come
together as one.”
Hint: 3 Now relate
these ideas back to
purpose. How does
this strategy/word
choice aid the
development of the
author’s purpose?
Hint 1: Use the
chart for analysis
that we discussed
during our last
Weeds and Roses!
Weed #3—Analyze More
 Same, same, but different from Weed #2
 Say more, notice more, discuss more
 Aim to discuss at least three strategies, littered
throughout the text
 How could you easily include more of the text?
“Lincoln uses parallel sentence structure multiple times to achieve
these comparisons: ‘All dreaded it, all sought to avert it,’ and ‘but
one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive,
and the other would accept war rather than let it perish.’ He also
utilizes isocolon when he begins to shift his perspective: ‘Fondly
do we hope, fervently do we pray…’ This parallel structure
reflects on the similarities in both parties that caused the war to
start. Lincoln attempts to rid all finger-pointing as to who
started the war by paralleling and comparing both sides, holding
them in equal light. This should cause the audience to
contemplate who and why they accuse each other, and hopefully,
to rid each side of scapegoating the other.”
“Lincoln further utilizes repetition; he uses the word ‘war’ a total of
six times in two complex sentences: ‘Both parties deprecated
war, but one of them would make war rather than let the nation
survive, and the other would accept war…’ Lincoln seeks to
send his audience thinking, contemplating the negative
connotation of war in their minds. War is often associated with
blood and death, so Lincoln’s use of the word casts a serious tone
that could knock the foolishness out of many close-minded
people.”
Weed #4: Affect vs. Effect
 Affect (verb): to influence
 The weather has affected
my hair.
 Effect (noun): the result of
something
 The effect was ultimate
frizz.
Roses!
 Nice work including all given information: date, author, title
(occasion). This shows you read, understand and realize it’s
importance!
 Various introductions are working. Check out the difference
between these two:
 “On March 4th, 1865, re-elected President Abraham Lincoln
gave his second Inaugural Address. This speech, most expected,
was to be long and full of references to politics, slavery and
states’ rights, but instead, Lincoln gave a speech wash was
short and to the point. He first contemplates the effects the
Civil War had on our country, its people and they way they
coincided. A short time later, Lincoln offers his vision for the
future. The way in which President Lincoln presents his speech
using anaphora, apostrophe and repeated words helps to
convey the purpose of the speech to his audience.”
“The Civil War was a war that threatened to tear America apart. It
was long and extremely bloody. Death was its middle name. The
South fought to keep the slaves; the North fought to free them.
President Lincoln fought to keep the Union together, because he
saw America as a beacon of freedom for countries that would
soon follow in her path. In his second Inaugural Address,
President Lincoln used rhetorical strategies to contemplate the
Civil War’s effects on America, and to offer a vision for America’s
future.”
“President Abraham Lincoln, one of the most celebrated
presidents, is well known for his involvement in the Civil War
and the emancipation of slaves. He was the man who brought
he United States through war and emerged with the Union
intact. He liberated millions of men and women who had been
oppressed for their entire lives and gave them a chance for a
new existence.Yet before his actions became a reality, he had
to successfully win the war. In his Second Inaugural Address,
Lincoln thoughtfully reflected upon the effects of the war that
ravaged the country and also proposed a plan to preserve the
Union. Through his use of rhetorical strategies, Lincoln was
able to effectively and eloquently convey his message.”
“He uses this allusion to the Bible to emphasize the fact that God
has a plan for everyone and those who fight it and commit
crimes…will not have as good of a life. Lincoln references
God to increase his ethos, because in the late 1800’s most
citizens of the United States were God-fearing Christian
people who at the time of the war both asked for Him to let
their side win. God reminded people of church and a feeling of
belonging and togetherness, which made Northerners want to
preserve the Union even more, leading to Lincoln’s vision for
the future. It also reminded the citizens of all that they had lost
to the Civil War and all they could gain back if the Union won.”
“Lincoln continues in a contemplative tone in the following
paragraphs when he makes several allusions to the Bible. Lincoln
makes a harsh point that of the two sides—North and South—
’Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God.’ Lincoln
suggests to his audience that in many ways, one’s enemy is in fact,
very similar to oneself. The opposing side is not some abominable
monster, but a person, who has fears and quarrels, the same as
any other human being.”
Weed #1—Don’t plagarize!
 Yes, the purpose is given to you, but…
 What should you do with this?
 Which parts are okay to keep word for word?
 What do you do with the word for word parts?
 Which parts are not?
“United States President Abraham Lincoln surprised his
audience—which expected a lengthy speech on politics,
slavery and states’ rights—with a short speech in which he
contemplated the effects of the Civil War and offered his
vision for the future of the nation.”
A good example:
“Abraham Lincoln’s Second
Inaugural Address was a
very unique speech in that
it was not made to talk
about politics, but rather to
give hope and
encouragement to a
divided nation battered by
a four year long civil war.”
 Great sentence, huh? But
let’s get picky. How can we
make this more clear, less
wordy?
 Rule of 25 or less.
“Abraham Lincoln’s Second
Inaugural Address was a
very unique speech in
that it was not made to
talk about politics, but
rather to give hope and
encouragement to a
divided nation battered
by a four year long civil
war.”
(39 words)
“Abraham Lincoln’s Second
Inaugural Address was
unique; it spoke not
about politics, but rather
gave hope and
encouragement to a
divided nation battered
by a four year civil war.”
(29 words)
Weed #2—Address whole piece
 Prompt makes shift in the piece clear: contemplation and
vision
 You have to find it
 Got one, but not the other?
 Success of not discussing both sides?
Weed #4—Discuss what happened, not
what didn’t
 “If the author had used the word ‘play’ instead of game…”
 How many things could the author have done?
 What does the prompt ask you to discuss?
 Use to help brainstorm, but do not include it in your writing
Grammar Tidbit:
 Use a colon between an introduction and quote if:
 Intro clause is independent
 Quote explains intro clause
 Ms. K doesn’t like driving in the snow: “My car spun out six
times yesterday!”
 You try one!
What about the repetition of “with”?
 What does “with” mean?
 Why is that specific word repeated?
 What is that device called when you include extra
conjunctions?
RER due Wednesday!
 AP Write moved to Wednesday
 Two passages to discuss, similar to Oke