Lucas Mtimkhulu









It is not for social convenience.
It is not for social status.
It is not made by man.
It is not for financial stability.
It is not an outdated institution for the 21 st century.
It is not a prison cell.
It is not for physical attractions.
It is not a responsibility, but a response to the ability of God.






Marriage is a state in which men and women can live together in sexual relationship with the approval of their social group. (Douglas
1988:742)
Two parties are involved in marriage; men and women.
There is no definition for marriage between parties of the same sex.
The act of living together as husband and wife.
(Barnhart and Barnhart 1988:1274)
The first two-party system of government ever devised.






It is a spiritual venture to your destiny.
God addressed loneliness in marriage.
The Lord showed his approval in
Gen.2:18.
You need a spiritual background to succeed in marriage.
“I now declare you husband and wife” The end of ceremony and the beginning of marriage life.






The goal of a good marriage is to produce together an intellectual soil and an emotional environment in which each can flourish far superior to what either can achieve alone.
Partners satisfy mutually the needs of the other.
Partners do not shirk but share responsibility.
They do not grab but give reward.
One will not detract from or diminish the other but each will add strength, support and understanding.





The emphasis is to complement one another.
To allow each alongside his/her partner.
To develop each other’s ability better than it could have done alone.
In their vows they commit themselves to mutual responsibility and challenge of sharing life together. “No longer two but one.”


Marriage is more than your love for each other.

It is a higher dignity and power.

It is God’s ordinance through which He wills to perpetuate the human race until the end of time.

In marriage you are a link in the chain of generations into the Kingdom of God.






In love you see only the heaven of happiness.
In marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind.
Your love is your own private possession.
Marriage is more than something personal.
It is a divine status or an office.






Marriage is a life-long commitment.
You both need to be committed to make it happen.
It offers an opportunity for two people to give love, approval and understanding to each other.
No other personal relationship calls for depth of intimacy and commitment.
Husband and wife can encourage each other’s sense of worth, uniqueness and strength.


Marriage cannot be changed.

Only the people in marriage can be changed.

References: Genesis 2:18-25,
Hebrews 13:4, Proverbs 18:22,
Ephesians 5:21-33.


What the world needs now is love.

Love cannot be defined but it can be lived.

The problem is how to demonstrate love.

In Greek there are four words which all mean love; i.e Stergo, Eros, Phileo, Agape.





This is love that is inherent in one’s own nature.
It is an instinctive, natural affection or protectiveness such as animal protectiveness for its offspring.
The love of parents for children and vise versa.
Father providing for the family and mother caring for the sick.







This is a desire for someone for one’s own selfish desires with little or no regard for the other.
Passion seeking satisfaction.
Primarily in the physical,triggered by emotions good or bad.
Sexual desire,romantic infatuation,selfish love.
It can help to build solid marriage relationship.
Physical desire and fulfillment has a place in marriage.






This is love which is the response of the human spirit to what appeals to it.
Based upon inner communion and mutual attraction.
Both have a similarity of outlook on life.
It is “liking” and “fondness” to that which affords pleasure.
We need phileo quality in marriage for enduring relationship.






This is love from one’s heart by the awakened sense of value.
It does not seek anything in return, not even acceptance of itself.
It is first concerned for the other person.
It is self-sacrificing love and denotes God’s love not human love.
It is motivated by “What can I give?” and not “What can I get?”








Love is forgiving even when deeply hurt.
Love is unselfish even when it’s something you want most badly.
Love gives the best of yourself.
Love is mindful of good manners.
Love enables the lover to laugh at himself/herself.
Love goes out of its way for the other.
Love cares for the growth of the other.


Love is protecting and caring.

Love does not allow outside pressure to invade your privacy.

Love makes the other feel special “till death do us part”

Ref: Prov.19:14,Gen.1:27-28,Mat.7:27-
27,Psa.11:3,1Cor.3:10-15.


It is the absence of the exchange of ideas and feelings.

Happily married people communicate well.

Communication starts with conversation.

Conversation develops into a heart to heart talk.

Words are important in communication.

Action,silence and listening are important.









Casual conversation as friends.
Sharing of information.
Self-disclosure-sharing of feelings,attitudes,emotions with partner.
Goal planning.(Short or long term)
Expression of disagreement,argument.
Giving support and encouragement to the other.
Listening to partner.
Ref:Eph.4:15;4:29;4:26-
27;4:32;Is.50:4;Psa.141:3;Pro.12:25;Pro.15:1-
4,28;Pro.21:23.


God created man and woman,male and female.”Behold it is very good”

It is for the propagation of human race,pleasure and expression of love.

It is a gift of God.

God protects love by confining sex to marriage.







Caress,praise,pamper,massage,lather,tantalize,ti ngle.
Understand,support,humour,charm,stimulate,pla cate,facsinate,stroke.
Cuddle,protect,anticipate,grovel,plead,beg,crawl, accessorise.
Satisfy,enchant,idolize,dazzle,hug,acknowledge,t ease,flirt,respect.
Promise,deliver,commit,jack.
Go back and do it all over again.


JUST SHOW UP NAKED.

Ref:Gen.1:27-28;Gen.4:1;Mat.19:5-
6;Prov.5:15-19;Songs1:13-16;Songs 4:1-
7;Songs 5:10-16.






Money and choices about its uses are a daily part of married life.
Money can mean different things to people.
It measures success, power, status and emotional security.
Christian couple must be careful not to let money use them,they must use it!
Managing your money is stewardship.








God is the supplier of all possessions, we are to manage there resources well.
In whatever we do, God first.
A budget is an estimate of family income and expenses.
Prepare one.
“It is more blessed to give than to receive” Acts 20:35.
Talk about “we,us,our,relationship” not “my”
Ref:Deut.8:17-
18;1Cor.29:12;Ecc.5:19;1Tim.6:17,Ecc.5:10;1Tim.6:6-
10;Luk.12:13-21;Heb.13:5;Phil.4:11-13;Thes.3:7-
12;Prov.6:6-8.
Amen!











Do things together.
Make each day the best day.
Agree to disagree agreeably.
Beware of danger zones.
Face your weaknesses.
Continue dating.
Develop intimacy.
Speak out how you feel.
Stay lovers.
Seek help when needed.