Self Help, Empowerment & Mutual Support An Educational Workshop End Fundamental Concept – Life Challenges • Most people experience one or more challenges that will cause them pain, distress, confusion, or discomfort • Most people want help at various times of their life with these life challenges Four Basic Options of Help • Self Help • Help from ‘peers’ • Professional Help • Combination of Self Help, Help from “peers” and Professional Help Three Levels of Help • Self Help – person helps themselves • Mutual Support – support person works with the person • Doing for the person Choosing the Self Help Approach • Gain/regain control of one’s own destiny – empowerment, selfdetermination • Satisfaction of taking responsibility – build/rebuild self-esteem • Learn skills useful in all aspects of life – utilize strengths/identify weaknesses Obstacles to Self Help Approach Worksheet Choosing Mutual Support • Mutual – shared, reciprocal • Peer – equal, colleague, friend • Support – reinforcement, brace – One on one – Informal group – Formal group Obstacles to Mutual Support Worksheet Define Empowerment & Recovery Worksheet Obstacles of Empowerment and Recovery Worksheet Guideline for participants in a mutual support group "If we were supposed to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear." -- Mark Twain I. Do’s - Listening with Empathy – Our Expertise is our Experience A. B. C. D. E. F. Be aware of yourself, know your weaknesses and limitation Listen and respond to your heart: tempering emotional responses Make eye contact when comfortability allows Remain earnest, interested and understanding Share your experience (without over burdening) when the time feels right Focus on the person's feelings: they are a gift 1 Respect and cherish those feelings 2 Wrap a warm blanket around their feelings give support and validation 3 Express your feelings having received a heart felt personal gift 4 Only for more advance and secure Advocates: gently touch them when comfortable G. Be brief in your response pull it from the heart H. Allow a person to go at their own pace II. Don’t s- of participants in a mutual support group A. B. C. D. E. F. H. I. J. K. L. M. N. Comparing yourself (whose smarter) Mind Read Planning an argument before they are done talking Judging statements Daydreaming not paying attention: dismissing Prescription for advice Pigeon holing: fitting the talkers into your experience Debating You are always right Placating Changing the topic I know better godly advice Premature assurance P. Questions: fact finding Q. Telling your own untempered story R. Not listening to your own limitations S. Mini counselors/psychiatrist (medication advice) T. Leading the conversation U. Telling others about particular "cases" V. We are not cases and we do not want to be managed W. Taking notes while listening X. Rushing people Y. Giving shallow promises Z. Giving shallow clichés AA. Impersonating staff of the past BB. Not paying attention for their clues regarding intimacy Mutual Support Group Guide 1. Choose a Form of Facilitation Rotating – last person talks chooses next person One Person Volunteers to facilitate No facilitator – group respects a person as they speak 2. Group Process Facilitator’s Responsibilities •Recognizes who has the floor to speak •Keeps the process moving •Addresses disruptions though diplomatic resolution (agree to disagree) Review the Do’s and Don’ts Group member expresses an interest Group members respectfully discuss experiences related to member’s interest 3. Check in Ask how people are feeling? Anyone like to talk one on one about an interest? Is there another scheduled group?