Interpersonal Communication
Love Styles
Attachment Styles
Standpoint Theory
Perception
Interpersonal Comm. Defined
A distinct type of communication which
emphasizes quality, or character, of
interaction
 Emphasizes what happens between
people, not where or how many are
present
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Gain information
Understand context
Establish identity
Fulfill needs
Love Styles
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Category of behavior which indicates
how one communicates within romantic
relationships
Eros
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Powerful, passionate, and romantic love.
Intense love that may include sexual,
spiritual, intellectual, or emotional attraction.
 Fastest moving love style (early selfdisclosure, fall in love fast)
 The most intuitive and spontaneous love
style.
 Men are a little bit more likely than women to
be erotic lovers.
Storge
Comfortable, even-keeled kind of love
 Based on friendship
 Grows gradually, usually out of
common interests, values, and life
goals
 Very peaceful and stable
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Ludus
Playful Love
 See love as a game
 Commitment is NOT the goal
 Like to play the field and enjoy falling in
love
 Many people employ a ludic love style
after ending a long-term relationship
 Men are more likely to be ludic lovers
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Pragma
Practical Love
 Blends the strategies of ludus with the
stability and security of storge
 Maintain criteria for lovers: such as
religious affiliation, career, and family
background
 Practical considerations are the
foundation of enduring commitments
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Mania
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Manic lovers have the passion of eros, but
they play by ludic rules
 A combination that can have upsetting
results
 Typically unsure others really love them,
manics may devise tests and games to
evaluate a partner’s commitment.
 A dramatic love, with extreme highs and
lows
Agape
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A blend of storge and eros
Comes from St. Paul’s admonition that we
should love others without expectation of
personal gain or return
A generous and selfless love
Feel the intense passion of eros, and the
consistency of storge
Loving and giving to another is its own
reward
Almost no one is purely agapic, but many
people have agapic tendencies
Styles
Storge
Agape
generous
selfless
friendship
stable
of Love
Eros
passionate
sudden
Mania
Pragma
practical
Ludus
playful
dependent
on others
Understanding Love Styles
Most people blend styles
 Partner’s style may influence our style
 No style is intrinsically good or bad,
healthy or unhealthy.
 Love styles change over time
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Attachment Styles
Determined by a child’s relationship
with his/her parents
 Developed early in life and affects adult
relationships
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Secure Attachment Style
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The most positive attachment style
Develops from consistent, loving caregiver
responses to child
Secures tend to be outgoing, affectionate,
and have a stable self-esteem
Security allows them to engage in intimacy
and develop valuable relationships
Not dependent on others for their sense of
self-worth
Fearful
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Develops when caregivers communicate in
negative, rejecting, or even abusive ways to
the child
 Fearfuls feels they are unworthy of love, and
that others are not loving
 See themselves as unlovable, and others as
rejecting
 Tend to be apprehensive about
relationships, and often feel insecure when
they are involved with relationships
Dismissive
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Promoted by caregivers who are
disinterested, rejecting, or abusive toward
children
Dismissives, however, do not accept the
caregiver’s view of them as unlovable.
But they typically dismiss others as unworthy
of love
Develop a positive self-view, and a negative
view of others
Maintain a defensive view of relationships,
and regard them as unnecessary or
undesirable
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Anxious/Ambivalent
The most complex attachment style
Fostered by inconsistent and unpredictable
treatment by caregivers
Sometimes the caregiver is loving and
attentive, and other times they are indifferent
or rejecting
Because children tend to assume adults are
always right, they believe they are the
source of any problem-that they are
unlovable or deserve others’ abuse
Tend to be inconsistent in their own
relationships. One day they invite affection;
the next day they rebuff it and deny needing
or wanting closeness
Attachment Styles
Positive View of
Self
Negative View of Self
Positive
View of
others
Secure
Anxious/Ambivalent
Negative
View of
Others
Dismissive
Fearful
Standpoint Theory
Point of view shaped by material,
social, and symbolic conditions
common to a group (Harding, 1991).
 Determined by placement within
culture
 Affects perception & communication
within relationships
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