12: Inter-Act,
th
13
Edition
Conflict
1
Interpersonal Conflict
A disagreement between two
interdependent people who perceive
that they have incompatible goals
2
Conflict is:
• Natural
• Neither good nor bad
• Inevitable
• Potentially constructive
• Culturally based
3
Types of Conflict
• Pseudo – conflict that is apparent, not real
• Fact – information one person presents is
disputed by the other
• Value – deep-seated beliefs about what is
good or bad, worthwhile or worthless,
desirable or undesirable, moral or immoral
• Policy – disagreement over a plan, course of
action, or behavior
• Ego – “winning” is the primary goal
• Meta – disagreements about how to disagree
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Types of Conflict
• Pseudo
• Fact
• Value
• Policy
• Ego
Conflicts
become
complicated
when they
escalate
to involve
values, egos,
and
communication
styles.
• Meta
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Styles of Managing
Conflict
• Withdrawing – physically or psychologically
removing oneself from the conflict
• Accommodating – satisfying others’ needs
while neglecting your own
• Forcing – attempting to satisfy your own
needs with no concern for the other or harm
done to the relationship
6
Styles of Conflict
Management (continued)
• Compromising – attempting to resolve
conflict by mutually agreeing to provide at
least some satisfaction for both parties
• Collaborating – trying to solve the problem
by arriving at a solution that meets the needs
and interests of both parties in the conflict
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Conflict Styles
High
Accommodating
concern
for other
Collaborating
Compromising
Withdrawing
Forcing
High concern for self
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Approaches to Conflict
Win/Lose
One party gets
satisfaction
Lose/Win
The other party
gets satisfaction
Lose/Lose
Neither party gets
satisfaction
Win/Win
Both parties feel
satisfied
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Which approach to conflict
management creates a
win/win situation?
Collaboration
10
Collaborative
Problem-Solving
• Define the problem.
• Analyze the problem.
• Develop mutually acceptable criteria
for judging solutions.
• Generate solution alternatives.
• Select the solution that best meets the
criteria identified.
11
Face Negotiation
• Face negotiation theory: we prefer
conflict styles consistent with our cultural
frame and the resulting face orientations
12
Cultural Variations of Face
Western Hemisphere
• Individualistic and low
context
• Self-face
orientation: uphold
and protect selfimage in interactions
with others
Eastern and Southern
• Collectivist and high
context
• Other-face orientation:
uphold and protect the
self-images of partners
even at the risk of our
own face
• Mutual-face orientation:
uphold and protect
others’ self-images and
our own
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Destructive Behaviors in
Conflicts
• Serial arguing: arguing about the same issue
• Counterblaming: moves focus away from self
by blaming the other person
• Cross-complaining: trading unrelated
criticisms, leaving the initial issue unresolved
• Demand-withdrawal: one partner demands
while the other withdraws
• Mutual hostility: both partners trade
increasingly negative and/or hostile remarks
14
Break Patterns of
Destructive Conflict
• Avoid negative start-ups.
• Manage anger.
• De-escalate the conflict:
–Identify the trigger.
–Calm your partner and yourself.
–Take a break from the conversation.
–Inject humor (but not at your
partner).
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Collaborative Conflict Conversation
1. Mentally rehearse.
2. Recognize and state ownership of the conflict.
3. Describe the conflict in terms of behavior,
consequences, and feelings.
4. Avoid blaming or ascribing motives.
5. Keep it short.
6. Be sure the other person understands your problem.
7. Phrase your preferred solution in a way that focuses
on common ground.
16
Responding to Conflict
1. Put your shields up. Listen impartially.
2. Respond empathically with genuine
interest and concern.
3. Ask questions and paraphrase your
understanding of the problem.
4. Seek common ground.
5. Ask the initiator to suggest alternative
solutions.
17
Mediator
A neutral and impartial guide,
structuring an interaction that
enables the conflicting parties to
find a mutually acceptable solution
to their problems
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Mediating Conflict
1. Make sure that the people having the conflict
agree to work with you.
2. Establish ground rules.
3. Probe until you identify the real conflict.
4. Remain neutral.
5. Keep the discussion focused on the issues rather
than on personalities.
6. Work to ensure equal talk time.
7. Establish an action plan and follow-up procedure.
19
Recovering from Conflict
• Forgiveness: communication process
that allows you and your partner to
overcome the damage done because of
a transgression
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7 Steps to Forgiveness
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Confession
Venting
Understanding
Apology
Forgive
Set conditions
Monitor
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The Dark Side of Digital
Communication
• Compulsive or excessive Internet use
–Disable your smartphone’s ability
to push e-mail messages to you.
–Leave your social media devices
behind when you plan to study.
–Ask your friends to help you.
–Seek professional help if
necessary.
22
Inappropriate SelfDisclosure Online
• SIDE Model: Characteristics of social
media, such as anonymity, influence
online behavior.
• Sexting: sending sexually explicit
messages or photographs, primarily
between smartphones via text
messaging
• Anonymous web-cam conferencing
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Flaming
Recommendations:
•Respond privately.
•Ignore the flame.
•Ask an authority to
intervene.
Microsoft Word 2012 image
Flame wars erupt
when friendly and
productive digital
discussions give
way to insults and
aggression.
24
Cyberstalking
Microsoft Word 2012 image
• Cyberstalking: repeatedly using social
media to stalk or harass others
• Cyberbullying: abusive attacks carried
out through social media
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