Life is like
photography
You develop from the
negatives. The outcome
may be positive!
2
Module 1: Exploring
Conflict
 We
think of conflict as negative, however,
focusing on conflict resolution can bring about
positive results.
3
What is Conflict?







1. to come into collision or disagreement; be
contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash: The
account of one eyewitness conflicted with that of the
other. My class conflicts with my going to the concert.
2. to fight or contend; do battle.
3. a fight, battle, or struggle, especially a prolonged
struggle; strife.
4. controversy; quarrel: conflicts between parties.
5. discord of action, feeling, or effect; antagonism or
opposition, as of interests or principles: a conflict of
ideas.
6. a striking together; collision.
7. incompatibility or interference, as of one idea, desire,
event, or activity with another: a conflict in the schedule.
4
Who do we have conflicts
with?
5
Is there a cost involved
with conflict?
Avoidance
Negotiation
Third-party mediation
Legal Action
Robbery
Physical threat
Fighting between individuals
Fighting between groups
Terrorist activity
War
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Conflict Video!
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Does everyone win?
– Win
 Lose – Lose
 Win – Lose
 Lose – Win
 Win
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Are there benefits from the
outcome of a conflict?
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Personal Conflicts
 Think
back over the last two weeks. What
conflict situations did you encounter?
Page 5 in your book provides space for you to reflect on
this activity.
10
Personal Conflicts
 Determine
you satisfaction score
5 = Very happy with outcome
4 = Moderately happy
3 = Indifferent; in the middle
2 = Moderately unhappy
1 = Very unhappy with outcome
11
Conflict Outcomes Matrix
Their satisfaction = 5
Yours = 1
Their Satisfaction Score
5
Win-lose
tradeoffs
fall on
this line
1
1
5
Your Satisfaction Score
Your satisfaction = 5
Theirs = 1
12
What is Conflict Resolution?
 The
process of ending a disagreement between
two or more people in a constructive fashion for all
parties involved.
 The methods and process of negotiation, which
promote the peaceful ending of social conflict and
war.
 Creative solutions to problems to help
organizations move ahead and achieve their goals.
Think of conflicts as opportunities to help your
organization overcome limitations to growth and
change.
13
Understanding the Conflict
Resolution Process
 Acknowledge
the conflict
 Determine the best style of handling the
conflict
 Use the best style for addressing the issue
 Raise your Conflict IQ
 Develop skills for Competition and
Collaboration
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What is attitude?


A settled way of thinking or feeling, typically
reflected in a person's behavior.
A position of the body proper to or implying an
action or mental state: "the boy was standing in
an attitude of despair".
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What is attitude?
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Let hear some comments
on attitude . . .
 Zig
Ziglar on Attitude
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Did attitude affect these
famous people?
1. …a famous person who was defeated seven times while running for
political office?
Abraham Lincoln was defeated in eight different elections. Yet
he persisted and succeeded in becoming the 16th, and one of the
most respected, presidents of the United States.
2. …a cartoonist who was told by the editor of the Kansas City
newspaper, “It’s easy to see from these sketches that you have no
talent.”
Walt Disney was told he had no talent and fired from a
newspaper job. He wound up doing volunteer work for a church in
an old run down garage. One day he decided to sketch one of the
many mice that were running through the garage. This mouse
became the famous “Mickey Mouse.”
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Did attitude affect these
famous people?
3. …an author whose first children’s book was rejected by 23 different
publishers?
Twenty-three different publishers rejected Dr. Seuss’s first book,
while the 24th accepted and sold 6 million copies of it.
4. …a famous singer who was fired after his first performance at the
Grand Ole Opry?
Elvis Presley was fired after his first performance at the Grand
Ole Opry. The manager told him, “You ain’t going nowhere, son.
You ought to go back to driving a truck.” He went on to become
one of the most famous American singers of the 20th century.
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Did attitude affect these
famous people?
5. …a famous actress who dropped out of high school and held a
variety of odd jobs, including doing the hair and make-up for corpses,
before finally succeeding in show business?
Whoopi Goldberg dropped out of high school, was on welfare and
worked as a bricklayer, bank teller, and licensed cosmetician.
After graduating from Beauty College, she took a job
at a mortuary fixing the hair of and applying make-up to the
corpses.
6. …a famous author who lived on welfare for years in an apartment
infested with mice?
J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, lived on welfare
for years, in an apartment infested with mice, and was rejected by
12 publishers before going on to fame and fortune.
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Did attitude affect these
famous people?
7. …a famous athlete who was cut from the varsity basketball team his
sophomore year in high school?
Michael Jordan was the athlete who was cut from the varsity
basketball team in his sophomore year of high school. Angry and
embarrassed, he began to get up early each morning to practice
with the junior varsity coach. Eventually he not only made the
varsity team, but also became one of the most popular athletes in
the world. Michael Jordan is quoted as saying, “I have missed
more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300
games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game
winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over
again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
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8. …an inventor who was thrown out of school in the early grades
because his teachers thought he couldn’t learn?
Thomas Edison was the inventor who was kicked out of school. Following
this, he was homeschooled by his mother. It took him over 700 tries before
he got the filament right for the light bulb. Edison is quoted as saying: “I
have not failed seven hundred times. I have not failed once. I have
succeeded in proving that those seven hundred ways will not work. When
I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will
work.”
9. …a famous Harvard University drop out?
Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of Harvard University. He went onto become
the youngest millionaire (at the age of 26) and is the CEO of Facebook.
10. …an inventor of a fried chicken recipe that was rejected by more
than 1000 restaurant owners?
Harland David Sanders (better known as Colonel Sanders) had his fried
chicken recipe rejected by more than 1,000 restaurant owners before it
was accepted by one. Today, people still eat it at KFCs across the world.
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Conflict: How do you see
it?
 Consider
a few questions from the How do
you see it handout. Take about 10 – 15
minutes to answer questions, giving thought
to how you would typically react. We will
discuss your answers and see how they
compare to others in the class.
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Put a Positive Spin on
Conflict!
 How
does the definition of conflict affect the
way we think about conflict?
 What are some negative consequences of
conflict?
 What are some positive outcomes of conflict?
 List four potential positive outcomes of conflict
in an organization.
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Recap to Module 1
1.
A conflict situation is any situation in which two or
Parties have differing ______
interests and the ability
more ______
to _______
each other’s pursuit of those interests.
affect
2.
conflict as a
Within organizations, there is often ______
result of the need for change.
3.
you
Your win-lose score is a measure of how well __
interests
competed in pursuit of your own _______.
4.
Both parties
A win-win score is a measure of how well ________
Their interests .
collaborated to find and pursue ______
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Recap to Module 1
5.
A win-win score is defined as the _______
Average of both parties’
scores.
6.
On the Conflict Outcomes Matrix, the competitive
Success Zone is reached when ______
satisfaction is
your
high, and _______
satisfaction is low.
their
7.
On the Conflict Outcomes Matrix, the Joint Success Zone
your satisfaction and
is only reached when both ______
______
their satisfaction is ______.
high
8.
In everyday experience, parties to conflict situations
________
achieve joint success because they do not
(b) rarely
approach conflict with sufficient skill and care.
(a) often
(b) rarely
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Page 33 in leader book
Module 2: Understanding
your style of response to
conflict
 Avoid
 Accommodate
 Compromise
 Compete
 Collaborate
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Avoiding
(I Lose, You Lose)
Side-stepping or withdrawing from the
conflict situation.
When you prevent/postpone conflict, it
remains unresolved and neither party
wins.
28
Accommodating
(I Lose, You Win)
Putting aside your needs and desires and
acquiescing to the other person’s requests/
demands.
When a high value is placed on your
relationship with the other party.
When outcome is of low importance to you,
but is of high importance to the other party.
T2
29
Compromising
(We Both Win, We Both Lose)
Resolving the conflict quickly and efficiently
by seeking a fair and equitable split between
the two positions.
Each side concedes on some of their issues
in order to win others. Both parties must be
flexible and willing to settle for a satisfactory
resolution of their major issue.
30
Competing
(I Win, You Lose)
Seeking to win your position at the expense
of the other party losing theirs.
Appropriate when only one party can
achieve their desired outcome.
Best used when outcome is extremely
important and relationship is of low
importance.
31
Collaborating
(I Win, You Win)
Cooperating with the other party to try to
resolve a common problem to a mutually
satisfying outcome.
When you join with the other party to compete
against the situation, instead of each other.
Each side must feel that the outcomes gained
through collaboration are better than they
could achieve on their own.
32
Thinking about Resolution
 Watch
this student created video
demonstrating the five styles of conflict
response.
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How do you respond to
conflict?
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Thinking about Resolution
Activity:
 Brainstorm
words that will represent steps
from conflict to resolution.
Write your words on the board
35
Assess Your Personal Style
 Use
the forms provided to discover more
about your personal conflict response style
36
Discuss Personal Styles
 Do
you think that other people will agree with
your profile results? What style do you think
the people you work with will say you are
using most often?
37
Discuss Personal Styles
 If
it is different from your results on the
assessment, why do you think this is?
38
Discuss Personal Styles
 How
varied is your approach to conflict? Do
you switch easily from style to style?
39
Discuss Personal Styles
 Do
you sometimes use more than one style in
sequence? Why? Can you think of a good
example of when that is appropriate?
40
Discuss Personal Styles
 What
happens when you are in conflict with
someone whose style is very different from
yours? Does this create stress or difficulty for
you?
41
Sum it all up
 We
will see a video demonstrating each of the
five styles of conflict response in action.
42
Module 3: Which Style
Should You Use?
 Avoid
 Accommodate
 Compromise
 Compete
 Collaborate
43
Diagnosing the Situation
The answers depend on many factors but there are
two questions that may be helpful here:
 How
important is my relationship with the other
party?
 How important is the outcome to me?
44
Case Study
Imagine you are leading a team that is responsible for completing a
project and producing a report by the end of next month. One of the
team members has not drafted his part of the report, saying he is too
busy with his other work and doesn’t have the time. In the last team
meeting, you gave him until today’s meeting to catch up. But he
didn’t even come to the meeting. When you called him afterward. He
questioned your authority and said he had too many problems with
his other work to worry about your report right now. Yet you know that
the report is important for the entire organization, not just his
department, and you can’t imagine what work he might have that
could take precedence.
You are tempted to “pull rank” as the team leader and threaten him
with a poor performance review unless he cooperates. Even though
he’s in another department, you know a bad review from his team
leader could cause him problems later on. What will you as the team
leader do next?
45
How to determine the best
style
46
Conflict Handling Styles
Collaborate
I Win,
You Win
Importance of relationship
HIGH
Accommodate
I Lose,
You Win
MEDIUM
LOW
Compromise
We Both Win,
We Both Lose
Avoid
I Lose,
You Lose
LOW
Compete
I Win,
You Lose
MEDIUM
Importance of outcome
HIGH
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Accommodating
(I Lose, You Win)
Putting aside your needs and desires and
agreeing to the other person’s requests or
demands.
Appropriate when a high value is placed on
your relationship with the other party.
Appropriate when outcome is of low
importance to you, but is of high importance
to the other party.
T2
48
Avoiding
(I Lose, You Lose)
Side-stepping or withdrawing from the
conflict situation.
When you prevent/postpone conflict, it
remains unresolved and neither party
wins.
49
Compromising
(We Both Win, We Both Lose)
Resolving the conflict quickly and efficiently
by seeking a fair and equitable split between
the two positions.
Each side concedes on some of their issues
in order to win others. Both parties must be
flexible and willing to settle for a satisfactory
resolution of their major issue.
50
Competing
(I Win, You Lose)
Seeking to win your position at the expense
of the other party losing theirs.
Appropriate when only one party can
achieve their desired outcome.
Best used when outcome is extremely
important and relationship is of low
importance.
51
Collaborating
(I Win, You Win)
Cooperating with the other party to try to
resolve a common problem to a mutually
satisfying outcome.
When you join with the other party to compete
against the situation, instead of each other.
Each side must feel that the outcomes gained
through collaboration are better than they
could achieve on their own.
52
Soooo . . . Which Style
to Use?
 An
assessment tool has been designed to
help you determine the optimal conflict
resolution style to adopt in a given situation.
Its underlying premise is that different conflict
resolution strategies are indicated in different
situations. Apply this tool to a real-life conflict,
past, present, or future, to see how it works.
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Practice Using the Tool
 Take
a few moments to think of a current or
past conflict and apply the assessment tool to
that situation. Consider the results.
 Consider
case studies in book
54
Module 4: How to Raise
Conflict IQ
 Conflict
IQ is the term we use to describe
“intelligence” in the handling of conflicts, and it
is the most important objective of the training
applications of the Dealing with Conflict
instrument. The instrument and the supporting
content will help you boost your Conflict IQ.
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Boost your Conflict IQ by:







Becoming more aware of your own conflict behavior and
that of others
Increasing your awareness of alternatives and options
Introducing a planned approach for selecting the best
style in each conflict.
Providing reference material to help you use each style
more effectively
Teaching a planned approach for understanding and
managing the other party’s style
Encouraging and supporting efforts to shift to more
collaborative and creative conflict handling styles
Introducing troubleshooting techniques and processes
for creating more collaboration
56
Conflict IQ
57
Creativity
 Take
a creative approach to conflicts. Look for
alternatives and innovative solutions to
problems. Probe to find out what the
underlying issues and constraints are.
58
Communication Skills
 Working
toward good communication with
other people during a conflict. Know what to
do and say in tense social situations and
become a good listener.
59
Emotional Detachment
 Keep
a clear head when others are excited,
angry, or upset. Don’t let your emotions get in
the way. Don’t lose your temper. Become an
active thinker.
60
Extroversion
 Become
comfortable and confident when
interacting with other people. Don’t be afraid
to express yourself and take a genuine
interest in other people’s situations.
61
Peace-making Skills
 Work
to reduce the level of conflict between
people. Defuse anger by apologizing and
showing concern. Help people cool off when
they get angry.
62
Independence
 Be
assertive and self-assured in conflict
situations. Take a leadership role and don’t be
persuaded by others’ ideas unless they really
make sense. Don’t worry too much about
what others think of you.
63
Planning
 Focus
on objectives and how to achieve
them, rather than getting caught up in short
term aspects of conflicts.
64
Knowledge
 Become
knowledgeable about conflicthandling styles and methods. Be aware of
your own style tendencies. Analyze the
situation to identify the optimal style and
approach.
65
Measuring Your Conflict IQ
66
Module 5: Advanced
Techniques for Handling
Conflict
 Trust
Building
 Listening
 Anger Management
 Creativity
67
Trust Building
Trust is essential to dealing with conflict with a
Collaborate style.
There are two types of trust:
•
Rule-Keeping Trust: Trusting someone to
act in a predictable manner
• Caregiving Trust: Trusting someone to
look out for your interests
68
Assessing Trustworthiness
69
Listening Strategies
70
Anger Management
71
Creativity
72
Thank you!