Counselling Techniques
Module 4
Pilot Training
Trainer: Mag. Heidrun Schulz &
DSA, MSM Christoph Schreiner
(adapted by Dr.in Camilla Bensch)
Basic Axioms of communication by
Paul Watzlawick
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
You cannot not communicate.
Every communication has a content
and a relationship aspect such that the
latter classifies the former and is
therefore a metacommunication.
The nature of a relationship is
dependent on the punctuation of the
partners communication procedures.
Human communication involves both
digital and analog modalities.
Inter-human communication
procedures are either symmetric or
complementary.
Schulz von Thun:
Iceberg Model
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Objective meaning
Revelation of oneself
Relationship
Appeal
Schulz von Thun:
Anatomy of a Message
Fact Objective
meaning
Sender
Revelation
appeal
of oneself message
relationship
Listener
Hearing with 4 Ears
Matter ear: Is the
information true and
relevant?
Selfrevelation ear: Which
information is hidden about the
sender?
Relationship ear:
How does he/she talk
to me? What does
she/he think of me?
Appeal ear: What should I think,
make or feel now?
„You, the traffic lights are green!“
 Objective meaning: „The traffic lights are green.“
 Self revelation „I am in a hurry!“
 Relationship: „You do not look at the traffic lights again – you
are a lousy driver!“
 Appeal: „Come on drive!
The Result of the Receiving - Feedback
transmitted
Sender
received
message
Feedback
Listener
Criteria for Feedback
Rules
1.
Give a Feedback when the other one listens
2.
Feedback has to be detailed and concrete
3.
Show your real perception as perception, your assumption as
assumption and your emotion as emotion
4.
Feedback should not analyze
5.
Feedback should express positive emotions
6.
Feedback is given to concrete behavior
Role Plays
Group 1
The husband is watching Football on TV.
His wife tries to tell him, that she is exhausted and will go to bed. She
asks him if he could wash the dishes.
But he replies that he doesn´t need more beer.
Questions: What are you missing in this feedback ?
What would be a positive feedback under the
use of the feedback rules?
Make a short play.
Role Plays
Group 2
A Counsellor meets his or her client and they talk about
the agreement they made last time.
The Client tells the Counsellor that he broke the agreement.
Find a concrete situation and give an adequate feedback to the client .
Role Plays
Group 3
A client meets his or her counsellor and they talk about
the agreement they made last time.
The Client finds out that the Counsellor has broken the agreement.
Find a concrete situation and give an adequate feedback to the
counsellor .
Carl Rogers: active listening
Building a relationship:
Especially with young people the outcome depends
highly of the counselor-client relationship.
Carl Rogers - 3 specific qualities:
•
Congruence: Open, authentic, communication in which the way I
present myself to the client. Rogers: "I have found, in my relations with
persons, that in the long run it does not help to pretend to be
something I am not.“
Empathic understanding: to try to take in and accept a client's
perceptions and feelings as if they were your own, but without losing
your boundary/sense of self.
•
Respect: acceptance, unconditional positive regard towards the client.
Active listening/
Paraphrasing
 The statements of the client are repeated in one owns words
 Technique to verify if we understood the client in the right way –
misunderstanding can be eliminated immediately
Active Listening/
Paraphrasing
 Feedback of the emotions one has decoded of the messages of
the sender.
 No advice and judgement, no analyzing questions.
 Emotions and feelings are normal, one can talk about them even if
they are negative or aggressive.
Active Listening/
Paraphrasing
 Active listening should not be used to manipulate people
 You should have enough time for this method.
 Active listening is not always appropriate, e.g. if the client needs
information or he/she shows signs of impatience
Doose cards
4 card sets: Dreamcards, Life style, hat cards, vocational cards
Method
Sorting the cards and putting them to different piles: things, I always
wanted to do/ things which do not interest me/ things I could try sometime
Playing with the cards like a board game
Material
dreamcards: 144 cards with drawings showing different activities
Lifestyle cards: 58 cards with drawings showing different aspects of
everyday life
Hat cards: 108 cards with drawings showing different roles
Vocational cards: 144 cards with drawings showing different vocational
topics
Goal: starting a conversation, getting to know the adolescent, getting
information about the person, his/her desires, dreams, interests and life
style
Doose cards
Steve De Shazer/Insoo Kim Berg:
Solution focused counseling…
 focuses on what clients want to achieve
rather than on the problems
 focuses on the present and future not on the
past
 focuses on strengths, resources and exceptions
of the problem
Solution building assumptions
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Solution building instead of problem solving
The client´s own goal drives the activities
Emphasis on future potential, not past trauma
Future is created and negotiated
Clients are experts for their lives
Even big problems begins with small. Simple, easy to do step
toward solutions
 Everybody is invested in solutions they generate
 Hopeful, optimistic, respectful or clients´will
 Everybody is doing the best they can under very difficult
circumstances
Useful interviewing tools
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Exception finding questions
Scaling questions
Miracle questions
Coping questions: How do you cope? How come it´s not worse?
What else?
Relationship questions: What would your best friend (mother)
say…? How would your family tell there was a miracle and your
problem is solved?
Solution building procedure
1. What needs to be different with …? (miracle question)
2. What do you know about your… that tells you that this can
happen? (exception finding question)
3. How much have you moved toward your solution? (scaling
question)
4. What is the next first small step you need to take toward your
goal? (scaling question)
5. How close are you toward your goal? (scaling question)
6. How confident are you that you can maintain the level of
success you have achieved so far?
7. Termination