Navigator Week 8:
Publishing Your Personal Statement
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Welcome to Week 8!
Important Dates and Deadlines:
•Date #1
•Date #2
Last Week, We:
 Defined personal statement and evaluate examples
 Reviewed the writing process
 Identified a guiding idea
 Wrote a first draft of our personal statement
 Uploaded a draft to CSNav (milestone)
This Week We Will:
Add heartbeat to our personal statements
Add structure to our personal statements
Peer review our personal statements
Formally request letters of recommendation
Upload a final ps to CSNav (milestone)
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Think It Through:
What makes a story interesting to read?
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“It feels good out here!” I couldn’t help but say it
twice to my friends Chris, Mike, and Jay. We had
been in the house since early evening playing John
Madden football on Sega entertainment game
system. We decided to make ham sandwiches and
go sit out on the front porch. We went outside at
around 10 o’clock with our food and some Pepsi to
enjoy the nice, cool night. The time passed so
quickly that what seemed an hour turned into three.
Around 1:15 am we noticed a decline in the warm
temperature so we decided to head inside for the
night....”
-From “I Am” by Dale Scott
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“For as long as I can remember, fireworks have been
an important part of my life. On nights of celebration,
such as the Fourth of July and Cinco de Mayo, I
would cross the long street from my neatly kept
apartment building to the lush green park next door.
The warm air carried the familiar smalls of late night
barbecues and sounds of upbeat Spanish music. I
loved to watch the clear dark sky burst into colorful
flowers of light, dancing fearlessly as the music from
the crowds below cheered them on. Even though the
nights would end too soon, the fireworks would stay
with me.”
-From “Firecracker” by Marcia Rodriguez
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STEP 1: Differentiate between showing and telling
“I’m a hard worker.”
“Telling” your readers something can be
boring, disengaging, and sound like
bragging.
“The midday sun shined down on my
back as sweat soaked into my cap. I
raised the hammer and thought to
myself, “One more nail, one more
shingle, and this family will have a roof.”
“Showing” your readers what you mean
is more interesting, more engaging, and
helps your reader relate to you.
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STEP 1: Differentiate between showing and telling
1990’s hair band, Extreme, said it best:
“More than words to show you feel / that your love for me is real…”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrIiLvg58SY
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STEP 1: Differentiate between showing and telling
the writing process
Brainstorm to find a guiding idea
Write a first draft to express personal strengths
Revise to add heartbeat
Write a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth) draft
Edit to fix mistakes
Publish a final, polish draft
Heartbeat are all those words, phrases, and sentences that make
your writing unique. It includes showing passages, metaphors,
similes, and other figurative language.
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STEP 2: Outline your personal statement
Personal Statement Parts:
Introduction
What to do:
Grab the reader’s attention
Set the tone
Show your story
Body
Use as many paragraphs
as you need
Tie it all together
Conclusion
Leave the reader thinking
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STEP 3: Discuss examples of effective and ineffective ways to share your
story.
Introduction
Don’t know how to start? Think about
your favorite movie or book. How does it
begin? What happens in the first scene,
or the first chapter?
GOOD IDEAS
Start with the ending, then flashback to tell the whole story
Start with a voice-over from the narrator
Start with the most exciting moment, and explain it in detail. Then
flashback.
Start with a series of images or pictures, then transition to the real story
Start with movement: walking in, walking out, running, jumping…
BAD IDEAS
Introduce yourself
Be childish or immature
Use a cliché
Be too obvious
Tell, not show
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STEP 3: Discuss examples of effective and ineffective ways to share your
story.
Conclusion
Don’t know how to start? Think about
your favorite movie or book. How does it
end? What happens in the last scene,
or the last chapter?
GOOD IDEAS
Leave it open for a sequel.
Return to where you started.
Ask a provocative question (just make sure it isn’t so far removed from your
guiding idea that it doesn’t make sense with the rest of the personal statement).
Suggest outcomes, results, or consequences.
Refer to the opening paragraph (the hook) by using parallel images and
thoughts or key words.
BAD IDEAS
Be childish or immature
Use a cliché
Be too obvious
Tell, not show
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STEP 4: Write a second draft of your personal statement, focusing on flow
and structure.
STEP 5: Work with your peers to revise and edit your personal statement.
the writing process
Brainstorm to find a guiding idea
Write a first draft to express personal strengths
Revise to add heartbeat
Write a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth) draft
Edit to fix mistakes
Publish a final, polish draft
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STEP 5: Work with your peers to revise and edit your personal statement.
Editing checklist
the writing process
Format
❏ 2–2½ pages (approximately)
❏ 12-point font size
❏ 1.5 or double-spaced lines
❏ Times New Roman font style
❏ Pages numbered
❏ Your name (first and last) on each
page in header or footer
Brainstorm to find a guiding idea
Write a first draft to express personal strengths
Revise to add heartbeat
Write a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth) draft
Edit to fix mistakes
Publish a final, polish draft
Mechanics
❏ Spell check
❏ Capitalization check
❏ Grammar check
❏ Punctuation check
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STEP 6: Request Letters of Recommendation from two to three references
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Week 8 Summary
This Week We:
Add heartbeat to our personal statements
Add structure to our personal statements
Peer review our personal statements
Formally request letters of recommendation
Upload a final ps to CSNav (milestone)
Unit 2 Check-In:
By the end of Unit 2, you should have completed:
A resume
A personal statement
Requested 3 letters of recommendation
Are you: Ahead of the game
What can you do to improve?
On track
A Little Behind
Off track
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CSNav How-to:
Personal Statement
Milestone
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Microsoft
Word
First, type your
personal
statement in
Microsoft Word,
or another
editor.
Save your
personal
statement, and
remember
where you
saved it.
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Quick
Links:
Personal
Statement
Logon to CSNav
to upload a draft
of your personal
statement.
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Your Portfolio
> Your Profile
>How You See
Yourself
The Quick Link
takes you here.
Click on “Upload
a final personal
statement.
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Click “Browse” to
open a pop-up
window
Upload a draft
personal
statement
Find your
document and
click “Open”
Be sure to click “Upload
and save” to get your
checkmark!
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Your Profile >
How You See
Yourself > My
Personal
Statement
After you click
“Upload and
Save,” you will
see the name of
your document
here.
You will now
receive a
checkmark for
the milestone.
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Your
Planning
Milestones
To see your
checkmark, go
back to “Home”
by clicking on
the icon on the
top of the page.
Then, click “Your
Planning
Milestones” to
see your
checkmarks.
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