CHAPTER 3
DRAWING PEOPLE TOGETHER
Forces of Social Attraction
ACTIVATE YOUR BRAIN
1.Do you think physical attraction is important when
initiating a relationship?

Can communication mediate the effects?
2.When is complementarity good? When is it a
problem?
3.What is the hard-to-get phenomenon?
4.Give an example of someone
you feel Task attraction towards
Give an example for Social attraction.
TYPES OF ATTRACTION: The BIG 3

Physical


Social


Drawn to appearance—body, eyes, hair, attire, size, ethnicity, or
other aspects of appearance.
Someone you’d like to hang out with and/or become friends
with
Task-Oriented

Someone who can fulfill instrumental goals
(Box 3.1, p. 50-51-assessment)
SECONDARY TYPES OF ATTRACTION

Sexual




The desire to engage in sexual activity with someone
Often accompanied by sexual arousal when around that person
May stem from physical attraction, but it is different
Relational


Subcategory of social attraction? (Flashbulb attraction)
Desire to have intimate relationship
Do these overlap in romantic relationship?
CHEMICAL ATTRACTION




Physiological and neurological aspects of atrtraction
Especially the hormone oxytocin.
Oxytocin creates a “warm afterglow, tinting our
subsequent experiences with rose-colored glasses.”
(nasal injection study)
Also the brain produces dopamine, the primary
pleasure chemical in the human system when around
love object.
PROBLEMATIC ATTRACTION
Fatal Attraction
 The
very qualities that drew us to someone
eventually contribute to relational breakup
Sense of humor, outgoing, flirtatious
Other examples?
Narcissists
Why?
FRAMEWORK FOR STUDYING ATTRACTION
PERSONAL QUALITIES & PREFERENCES

Perceptions of Reward Value:


What we look for is based on our personal preferences
and perceptions of what is rewarding:
 Companionship, affection, sex, fun, financial
resources
Expectancies: Based on stereotypes or past
experiences



Violations can increase or decrease attraction… how?
Expectations and self-fulfilling prophecies
Expectation of future interaction increases the chances that
people will find the individual attractive. Why?
PERSONAL QUALITIES & PREFS (CONT.)

Demographic Characteristics

Sex and Gender (what’s the difference?)
 Men look for physical attractiveness, women look for
similarity/personality.
 Women more attracted to older men; men are more
attracted to younger women.
 How might socio-evolutionary theory explain this? Any other
explanations?
This research may be flawed by social desirability
bias, but what would you predict for a woman who is
23 years old and thinking of marriage?
HOW ABOUT A MAN’S CHOICE?
PERSONAL QUALITIES & PREFS (CONT.)
Gender Differences: “Traditional” men and women (i.e.,
masculine men and feminine women) may be more
attracted to the “traditional” other
 What about androgynous individuals?

Age
 Sexual Orientation

Seem to be
few differences
Personal Qualities & Prefs (cont.)

Personality Differences
 Attachment Style: secure, dismissive, fearful
avoidant, preoccupied—(more in Ch. 7)
 Relationship Beliefs (destiny & growth beliefs)
 Self-Esteem
 Narcissism (exaggerated sense of self importance,
though possibly low self-esteem so may be
attracted to those who admire them)
QUALITIES OF THE OTHER PERSON

Physical Appearance
Universal Attributes of Beauty
 Body
and Facial Symmetry
 Height for men
 Body Proportionality and the Golden Ratio
 Waist-to-Hip Ratio
 Physical fitness and athletic build
(both men and women)
Theories of Physical Attractiveness


What is Beautiful is Good Hypothesis (Halo Effect)
Evolutionary Theory (aspects related to health and
fertility)

Interaction Appearance Theory



People perceive others as less attractive when in a
relationship
and more attractive if they have warm, positive interactions
with them.
Assimilation Effect

Some of the attention that physically attractive people get
spills over to their friend
Qualities of the Other Person, cont.

Interpersonal Communication Skills




May override physical attractiveness
Warmth, sociability, and competence
Dominance and altruistic behavior combo most attractive
to women
The Loss-Gain Effect
Qualities of the Other Person, cont.

Hard-to-Get Phenomenon
Who do we find more attractive?
Easy to get Moderately difficult
Very difficult
Which do we prefer?
1. Easy for us to get--Difficult for others to get
2. Difficult for us to get--Easy for others to get

The Chemistry Between Two People
Similarity: Do Birds of a Feather Flock Together?
 Attitudinal
similarity
 Reinforcement
 Similarity
Model
in communication skill
 Why
are poor communicators attracted
to other poor communicators?
 Similarity
 The
in Physical Attractiveness
matching hypothesis (degree, not kind)
 Implicit
egotism
Chemistry, cont.

Complementarity: Do opposites attract?
Differences in degree or kind on various dimensions of
behavior, attitudes, resources, etc.

When people have differences, which seems to
work better?
 Resources
and behaviors
 Attitudes and values

What role does commitment play in the importance
of similarity vs. complementarity?
ENVIRONMENTAL & SOCIAL FACTORS

Microenvironmental Features

Reinforcement Affect Model
 certain
environments make
people feel good

Excitation Transfer
 Dutton

Influence from Social Networks



and Aron’s (1974) Bridge Study
Approval from family & friends
The Romeo and Juliet Effect
Proximity

How might online dating sites change this?
WHAT RESEARCH HAS NOT YET
BEEN ABLE TO TELL US- What
elements of attraction predict a
long-term and satisfying relationship?
Suggestions?