CHAPTER 3 DRAWING PEOPLE TOGETHER Forces of Social Attraction ACTIVATE YOUR BRAIN 1.Do you think physical attraction is important when initiating a relationship? Can communication mediate the effects? 2.When is complementarity good? When is it a problem? 3.What is the hard-to-get phenomenon? 4.Give an example of someone you feel Task attraction towards Give an example for Social attraction. TYPES OF ATTRACTION: The BIG 3 Physical Social Drawn to appearance—body, eyes, hair, attire, size, ethnicity, or other aspects of appearance. Someone you’d like to hang out with and/or become friends with Task-Oriented Someone who can fulfill instrumental goals (Box 3.1, p. 50-51-assessment) SECONDARY TYPES OF ATTRACTION Sexual The desire to engage in sexual activity with someone Often accompanied by sexual arousal when around that person May stem from physical attraction, but it is different Relational Subcategory of social attraction? (Flashbulb attraction) Desire to have intimate relationship Do these overlap in romantic relationship? CHEMICAL ATTRACTION Physiological and neurological aspects of atrtraction Especially the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin creates a “warm afterglow, tinting our subsequent experiences with rose-colored glasses.” (nasal injection study) Also the brain produces dopamine, the primary pleasure chemical in the human system when around love object. PROBLEMATIC ATTRACTION Fatal Attraction The very qualities that drew us to someone eventually contribute to relational breakup Sense of humor, outgoing, flirtatious Other examples? Narcissists Why? FRAMEWORK FOR STUDYING ATTRACTION PERSONAL QUALITIES & PREFERENCES Perceptions of Reward Value: What we look for is based on our personal preferences and perceptions of what is rewarding: Companionship, affection, sex, fun, financial resources Expectancies: Based on stereotypes or past experiences Violations can increase or decrease attraction… how? Expectations and self-fulfilling prophecies Expectation of future interaction increases the chances that people will find the individual attractive. Why? PERSONAL QUALITIES & PREFS (CONT.) Demographic Characteristics Sex and Gender (what’s the difference?) Men look for physical attractiveness, women look for similarity/personality. Women more attracted to older men; men are more attracted to younger women. How might socio-evolutionary theory explain this? Any other explanations? This research may be flawed by social desirability bias, but what would you predict for a woman who is 23 years old and thinking of marriage? HOW ABOUT A MAN’S CHOICE? PERSONAL QUALITIES & PREFS (CONT.) Gender Differences: “Traditional” men and women (i.e., masculine men and feminine women) may be more attracted to the “traditional” other What about androgynous individuals? Age Sexual Orientation Seem to be few differences Personal Qualities & Prefs (cont.) Personality Differences Attachment Style: secure, dismissive, fearful avoidant, preoccupied—(more in Ch. 7) Relationship Beliefs (destiny & growth beliefs) Self-Esteem Narcissism (exaggerated sense of self importance, though possibly low self-esteem so may be attracted to those who admire them) QUALITIES OF THE OTHER PERSON Physical Appearance Universal Attributes of Beauty Body and Facial Symmetry Height for men Body Proportionality and the Golden Ratio Waist-to-Hip Ratio Physical fitness and athletic build (both men and women) Theories of Physical Attractiveness What is Beautiful is Good Hypothesis (Halo Effect) Evolutionary Theory (aspects related to health and fertility) Interaction Appearance Theory People perceive others as less attractive when in a relationship and more attractive if they have warm, positive interactions with them. Assimilation Effect Some of the attention that physically attractive people get spills over to their friend Qualities of the Other Person, cont. Interpersonal Communication Skills May override physical attractiveness Warmth, sociability, and competence Dominance and altruistic behavior combo most attractive to women The Loss-Gain Effect Qualities of the Other Person, cont. Hard-to-Get Phenomenon Who do we find more attractive? Easy to get Moderately difficult Very difficult Which do we prefer? 1. Easy for us to get--Difficult for others to get 2. Difficult for us to get--Easy for others to get The Chemistry Between Two People Similarity: Do Birds of a Feather Flock Together? Attitudinal similarity Reinforcement Similarity Model in communication skill Why are poor communicators attracted to other poor communicators? Similarity The in Physical Attractiveness matching hypothesis (degree, not kind) Implicit egotism Chemistry, cont. Complementarity: Do opposites attract? Differences in degree or kind on various dimensions of behavior, attitudes, resources, etc. When people have differences, which seems to work better? Resources and behaviors Attitudes and values What role does commitment play in the importance of similarity vs. complementarity? ENVIRONMENTAL & SOCIAL FACTORS Microenvironmental Features Reinforcement Affect Model certain environments make people feel good Excitation Transfer Dutton Influence from Social Networks and Aron’s (1974) Bridge Study Approval from family & friends The Romeo and Juliet Effect Proximity How might online dating sites change this? WHAT RESEARCH HAS NOT YET BEEN ABLE TO TELL US- What elements of attraction predict a long-term and satisfying relationship? Suggestions?