Formation of Relationships
Interpersonal attraction
Starter
With a partner list as many reasons as
possible as to why two people start a
romantic relationship
Extension – compare these with reasons for
starting any relationship (friendship for
example)
Learning Outcomes
• Identify reasons what/why relationship
start.
• Outline key features of the reward/need
and similarity theory of formation of
relationships
• Describe a piece of research which
supports each theory
• Identify strengths and weaknesses of
these theories of formation of relationships
Big Picture
• Work in pairs – card sort
• Make notes on the two theories including
evaluation points
• Discuss in pairs
• Create a summary of a couple using both
the reward/need theory and the similarity
theory
• Write down homework
Task 1
• In pairs look at the case studies and think
about the similarities/reasons for these
relationships forming.
• On a blank A4 piece of paper draw a full
body sketch (not naked) of your ideal
romantic partner. To the sides of the
drawing list the characteristics that you
think this person should possess.
•
Reasons why relationship start
• Contact/proximity
• Physical appearance
• Similar attitudes and social background
Contact/proximity
• Bossard (1932) – over 50% of marriage
applicants in Philadelphia lived within
walking distance of each other.
• Festinger et al (1950) – Friendship formed
by students in halls of residence far more
likely if living on the same floor.
Physical Appearance
• Hatfield et al. (1966) assessed the personalities
and aptitude of 752 first year male and female
students. They were then randomly paired and at
a special occasion each couple danced and
chatted for several hours. Afterwards they were
interviewed about their dates.
• Did personality characteristics influence
attraction?
• Did aptitude influence attraction?
• Did self esteem / lack of anxiety influence
attraction?
• No. For both men and women the only thing at
mattered was the physical attractiveness of their
partner.
• Researchers have found that men put more value
than women on physical attractiveness, but
women too, respond to a man’s looks.
Theories of physical attraction
1. The matching phenomenon
(Murstein 1972)
•
Not everyone can end up being paired with a
stunning partner.
•
So we tend to pair off with people who are of a
similar level of attractiveness.
•
Similarity in physical attractiveness is also conducive
to good relationships.
•
In cases where there is an apparent imbalance in a
couple’s attractiveness, the less attractive person
usually has compensating qualities, e.g., money.
Who would you rather go on a date with?
John is 35 years old, works as a warehouse
supervisor, earns £15,000 a year, drives a Ford Focus
and lives in a small one bedroomed flat. His hobbies
are listening to music and watching football.
Derek is 66 years old and is the fifth earl of
Monmouthshire. He is a millionaire and has several
large houses around the world. He has his own
personal driver and does not need to work. His
hobbies are gardening and reading
Who would you rather go on a date with?
John
Derek
2. The physical attractiveness
stereotype.
Is physical attraction based purely on sexual attraction?
No. Babies prefer looking at attractive faces.
Adults attribute more positive characteristics to physically
attractive children than to non-physically attractive
children (e.g., rate them as being more intelligent and
successful).
People posses a physical attractiveness stereotype people who are physically attractive are good.
2. The physical attractiveness stereotype.
Attractiveness has been shown to affect first impressions
in job interviews which is why attractive people have
more prestigious jobs and make more money.
Do attractive people have more desirable traits?
To some extent. Attractive people are more relaxed,
outgoing and socially polished. This is probably due to a
self fulfilling prophecy - attractive people are valued and
favoured and so develop more self-confidence.
Theories of physical attraction
2. The physical attractiveness
stereotype.
Problems with physical attractiveness;
Resentment from their own sex
Looks fade
Unwelcome sexual advances
People may not judge you by
Your skills or inner qualities
Attractive people may not have
the motivation
to develop themselves
in other ways
Similar attitudes / social
background
• The law of attraction (Byrne
This is the Learning Theory account of
relationship formation, based on the concept
of reinforcement.
Some people may reward us directly e.g. sex,
(operant conditioning) or indirectly by being
associated with pleasant circumstances (classical
conditioning)
EVIDENCE
Veitch and Griffitt (1976) placed participants in a
waiting room where they listened to either good
or bad news with a stranger present. When they
were asked to rate the stranger the degree of
liking was related to the kind of news they had
been listening to.
EVALUATION
DUCK (1992) criticises such bogus stranger
methods for being artificial - lacks mundane
realism
Try to think of examples of how classical and operant conditioning could have an
influence on attraction and formation. hint (try to think of things that could be
‘REINFORCERS’ in a relationship or lead to positive ‘ASSOCIATIONS’ in a
relationship)
Discuss in pairs
Classical Conditioning (learning by association)
leads us to like people who indirectly reward us
by being nearby when we feel good. Even if they
were not involved in making us feel good, after a
while we will associate them with the good
feeling such that whenever we see them we feel
good.
(so people who are around when we are doing
something we enjoy e.g. ‘ when we are on
holiday!’ we are more prone to be attracted to
and to form a relationship with.)
Operant Conditioning (learning by consequences)
leads us to like people who directly reward us.
Rewards can include being friendly towards us,
smiling and generally acting positively towards
us.
ACTIVATE
• Use your book to help you to identify two
strengths and two weaknesses of the learning
theory of why people form relationships
• In your evaluation you need to ask yourself ‘how
effective is this theory at explaining why people
form a relationship?’
• Find evidence to support the argument that it is
effective – these are your strengths
• If the answer is ‘No, this theory is not very
effective’ this means it has weaknesses or
limitations – you need to explain why it is limited.
Evaluation of the learning model
 The theory assumes that people are selfish and only concerned
about the reinforcements they receive. Hays, 1995 found that
in student relationships as much value was attached to
rewarding others as gaining rewards.
 Gender differences; there is evidence of gender differences as
well as cultural differences. It has been shown that in may
cultures, women are socialized into being more attentive to the
needs of others than their own (Lott 1994)
 It does not account for ‘unrewarding’ relationships
 However there is much research evidence that supports the
model Schochter, 1959 Affiliation study, and Veitch and Griffitt
(1976) waiting room good news/bad news study. (though these
rely heavily on bogus stranger studies which are criticised for
their lack of ecological validity.
 The theory has face validity: is supported by everyday
experiences i.e. happy, warm people with a good sense of
humour have more friends.
 Accounts for research findings: The theory explains why factors
such as proximity, similarity and physical attractiveness are
important factors.
Homework
Research the similarity theory (Byrne, Clore
and Smeaton, 1986) and research
evaluation points to review at the start of
next lesson.
Starter
Next slide.
Famous Couples – How well do they
match?
Rate them out of 10 for ‘matchability’
EXTENSION – DISCUSS WHAT MAKES THEM A
MATCHABLE COUPLE
Theory number 2 …..
Try and guess what this one says about why
we form relationships….
Similarity Theory (Byrne, Clore and
Smeaton, 1986)
What did you find out from your research?
Similarity Theory (Byrne, Clore and
Smeaton, 1986)
• Similarity promotes liking
• People sort potential partners firstly for
dissimiliarity
• Then from those remaining they are most
likely to choose someone who is similar to
themselves
• Based on personality and attitudes
Personality
• Explain what is meant by
personality traits. Give some
examples.
• What similar personality traits
may be advantageous?
• What dissimilar ones would be
disadvantageous?
• Discuss with a partner…
Attitudes
• Partners often have similar attitudes
• If they don’t they tend to align themselves
as their relationship develops
• This may happen in an attempt to keep the
relationship going
• E.g. one partner may smoke but may
eventually give up as their other partner
does not agree with this behaviour
EVALUATION
•
•
•
•
•
Does this theory have any strengths?
Evidence
Does this theory have any limitations?
Evidence
(remember your questions to help you to
evaluate)
Evaluation of the Similarity Theory
 Dissimilarity may be more important than similarity when
determining whether a relationship is formed or not.
(Rosenbaum 1986).
 This has been tested cross-culturally and participants
described being less attracted to people as they discovered
dissimilarities (Singh and Tan 1992).
 There could be other similarities that lead us to form
relationships – economic wealth, social status, background etc.
Speakman et al (2007) found that people often choose partners
with similar levels of body fat
 Studies such as Caspi and Herbener (1990) do have mundane
realism as they were conducted on real-life couples rather than
asking participants to construct an image of what potential
features they would prefer in a partner
 Peplau (1978) found similarities in race, class and religion in
dating couples and in pairs of friends.
Theory number 3
Filter model
Kerckhoff and Davis (1962)
• Relationships develop through 3 filters that
mean different factors are important at
different times.
• Tested through longitudinal study of student
couples of 18 months.
• Couples completed questionnaires about
attitude similarity and personality traits with
partner.
• Field of availability – possible people we
could have a relationship with.
• Filtering – Certain partners are filtered out
at different times for different reasons.
• Filed of desirables – Those who have not
been filtered out who could be potential
partners.
1. Social/demographic variables – Often
unaware. People mix with others who are
similar (area, education, work, class). Others
are rarely encountered so leave the field of
availability.
2. Similarity of attitudes/values –
Communication is easier so the relationship
progresses. Different attitudes/values are
filtered out.
3. Complementarity of emotional needs –
between the new couple. 18 months + How
well each other meets needs and fit
together.
Findings
Kerckhoff and Davis (1962)
• Relationships develop through 3 filters that
mean different factors are important at
different times.
• Tested through longitudinal study of student
couples of 18 months.
• Couples completed questionnaires about
attitude similarity and personality traits with
partner.
Evaluation of the filter model
 Are there really linear stages in formation of relationship?
Relationships are more fluid and dynamic.
 Useful way of thinking about factors that form relationships and
when these take effect. Different emphasis at different times.
 Emphasises importance of demographic factors as filters.
These go on to play a role in maintaining relationships as well
(Sprecher 1998; Gruber-Baldini, schaie and Willis 1995)
The filter model – Kerckhoff and Davis 1962)
Filter 1
Filter 2
Filter 3
Evaluation Points.
Matching up the couples…….
•
•
•
•
•
Choose a celebrity or fictional couple
Write an analysis of their relationship using
‘reward/needs satisfaction theory’ and
‘similarity theory’
Which theory best explains the formation of
their relationship.
You can write it in ‘story form’ if you wish, as
long as you include ideas from the theories.
I will ask some of you to read your analysis out
at the end of the lesson.
Review
Read out some of your stories about
couples