SAT Prep:
Improving
Paragraphs
AVID III
Spring 2012
Why do we have to improve
paragraphs?
 The
SAT wants to make sure that we will
be successful writers in college.
 Therefore,
the “Improving Paragraphs”
section is included to test your knowledge
of good writing.
There are three things we will
look at today
 Moving
around sentences to enhance
the message of the essay,
 Avoiding wordiness
 Rewriting the sentence to make sense
within the paragraph.
This all goes make to understanding and
further enhancing the MEANING of the
paragraph as a whole.
First…
 We
must read the essay given completely
to understand its overall meaning.
Why read it first?
 If
we don’t know the overall meaning,
there’s no way we can logically improve
the writing!
 What’s
the point of words if they have no
meaning?
As we’ve learned before, a good
essay is made up of several things




Topic Sentence
Concrete Detail (fact, quote, claim)
Commentary (a no less than two sentence
explanation of the Concrete Detail)
Concluding Sentence/Transition Sentence
All of these things go together to give the reader
a clear understanding of the message you’re
trying to get across.
My father has an exceptional talent. (2) The ability to understand
people. (3)When I have a problem that I think no one else will
understand, I take it to my father. (4) He listens intently, asks me some
questions, and my feelings are seemingly known by him exactly. (5)
Even my twin sister can talk to him more easily than to me. (6) Many
people seem too busy to take the time to understand one another.
(7) My father, by all accounts, sees taking time to listen as essential
to any relationship, whether it involves family, friendship, or work.
(8) At work, my father’s friends and work associates benefit from this
talent. (9) His job requires him to attend social events and sometimes
I go along. (10) I have watched him at dinner; his eyes are fixed on
whoever is speaking, and he nods his head at every remark. (11)My
father emerges from such a conversation with what I believe is a true
sense of the speaker’s meaning. (12) In the same way, we choose
our friends.
13)My father’s ability to listen affects his whole life. (14) His ability
allows him to form strong relationships with his coworkers and earns
him lasting friendships. (15) It allows him to have open conversations
with his children. (16) Furthermore, it has strengthened his relationship
with my mother. (17) Certainly, his talent is one that I hope to
develop as I mature.
What meaning is the author trying to get
across?
Summarize it in your own words!
Her father has an exceptional ability of
listening to people.
Now…
 Let’s
us.
look at the questions it’s going to ask
 Remember,
these questions are asking us
to make sure the meaning the author
intended gets across.
Of the following, which is the best way to revise and combine
sentence 1 and 2 (reproduced below)?
My father has an exceptional talent. The ability to understand
people.
(A) My father has an exceptional talent and the ability to
understand people.
(B) My father has an exceptional talent that includes the
ability to understand people.
(C) My father has an exceptional talent; the ability to
understand people.
(D) My father has an exceptional talent, it is the ability to
understand people.
(E) Despite my father’s exceptional talent, he still has the
ability to understand people.
We remember that the author is telling us
that her father as an exceptional ability of
listening to people
Let’s look at A
 The
first answer choice is telling us that her
father has an exceptional talent AND
something else. Is that the case?
 NO
 Why?
Because her father’s exceptional
talent IS the ability to understand people.
Now try B…
 The
second answer choice is telling us
that her father that “includes..”
 What’s
it including? Is that the clearest
choice?
 Nope,
let’s move on.
Now let’s look at C.
 My
father has an exceptional talent; the
ability to understand people

Does that sentence go back to the
author’s main idea?
 Probably,
but let’s check the last two
answer choices to make sure.
D…
D
has the right thought, but is it
grammatically correct?

Nope!
 Can’t
be this one!
E…
 Despite
 Wait,
my father’s exceptional talent-
that makes it sound like a bad
thing? Does the author want us to think his
father’s talent is bad?
 Nope!
Therefore…
 The
 This
best answer choice is C.
answer gets the message across in
the clearest way- her father’s exceptional
talent IS the ability to understand people.
Check!
 What
do we need to determine before we
even begin reading the questions?
 Why
is that important?
Using this same passage…

Let’s look at the other questions the SAT is
going to through at us in this section.
Of the following, which is the best way to phrase sentence 4
(reproduced below)
He listens intently, asks me some questions, and my
feelings are seemingly known by him exactly.





(As it is now)
Listening intently, he will ask me some
questions then my exact questions are
seemingly known to him.
As he listens to me and asks me some
questions, he seems to be knowing exactly
my feelings.
He listened to me and asked me some
questions, seeming to know exactly how I felt.
He listens intently, asks me some questions,
and then seems to know exactly how I feel.
What’s the main idea here?
Put plainly…
The father listens, asks questions, and knows
exactly how his child feels.
Let’s look at it again..
 Which
answer is the CLEAREST?
Of the following, which is the best way to phrase sentence 4
(reproduced below)
He listens intently, asks me some questions, and my
feelings are seemingly known by him exactly.





(As it is now)
Listening intently, he will ask me some
questions then my exact questions are
seemingly known to him.
As he listens to me and asks me some
questions, he seems to be knowing exactly
my feelings.
He listened to me and asked me some
questions, seeming to know exactly how I felt.
He listens intently, asks me some questions,
and then seems to know exactly how I feel.
Were you right??
 We
can quickly eliminate most of the
answer choices, since they sound just as
funky as the original.
 E!
 This
answer choice goes right to the point
and gets our message across!
One more..
 Let’s
see if our trick of “making sure the
meaning is clear” works this time too!
3. In sentence 7, the phrase by all
accounts is best replaced by
 (a)
However
 (B)moreover
 C. to my knowledge
 D. like my sister
 E. but nevertheless
Let’s look back at sentence 7
in the paragraph
 It
reads
 “My
father, my all accounts, sees taking
time to listen as essential to any
relationship, whether it involves family,
friendship, or work.”
This time…
 For
this one, let’s look at the CONTEXT
(what are the sentences around it saying )
 We
want to make sure our sentence fits
into the meaning of the entire paragraph.
The context..

The sentence before it reads, “Many people seem
too busy to take the time to understand one
another”.

What is the author trying to say about her father?

She is showing a contrast in that most people do
not take the time to understand others, but her
father does.

Which of the answer choices best shows that
relationship, a contrast?
The answer choices..
A. However. Does that show a contrast? Yes,
but lets make sure there’s not a better answer.
B. Moreover Does that show a contrast? No,
moreover means to keep going.
C. To my knowledge Does that show a
contrast? Nope
D. But nevertheless. This one kinda works in
meaning, but it doesn’t really sound right when
we plug it into the sentence.
The answer is..
 A!
 Why?
Because it shows the true meaning
of the message the author is trying to get
across- that her father is different from
most people.
On the next few questions..

You’re going to see the words “In Context”.

This means to look at the sentences
surrounding the given one.

Looking at the sentences around the given
sentence can give us clues to the overall
meaning of the paragraph and what the
author intended to get across.
Check!
 What
do we need to determine before we
even begin reading the questions in the
section?
 Why is that important?
 What do we do when we see the words
“in context?”
 Last, what are we trying to determine in
each of the questions?
Guided Practice
 With
your table, decide on the correct
answer for the last three questions on
your handout

Go to that corner and prepare a
rationale for why you choose that letter
with your group.
Independent Practice
 Timed
5
drill
questions on Practice Set 1 (5 minutes)
 And…check!
IP Answers
Extended IP:
 Get
your research logs and work on your
third rough draft.
 Using
the skills you just learned, make sure
every word you use is enhancing the
meaning YOU want to get across to the
audience!
Exit Ticket
 Rock
it!!