Building Resilience in Children
By: Michelle Villegas
What is Resilience ?
Resilience can be thought of as our ability to bounce
back, or even grow, in the face of pressures and
threats
Signs of a Resilient Child
The capacity to have courage
The motivation to move forward
The power to stay centered
The awareness of knowing themselves
The gift of laughter
The ability to bounce back
The potential of showing promise
The capacity to ask for help
The tenacity to accomplish goals
The willingness to share feelings
The capability to connect with others
The inspiration to give back ( Linda Goldman, 2004)
Seven C’s of Resilience
By: Dr. Ginsburgh, M.D., MS Ed, FAAP
Competence:
Help your child focus on their individual strengths.
Empowering your child to make decisions
Be mindful that your desire to protect your child
doesn’t mistakenly send the message that you don’t
think they are competent to handle situations
Confidence
Clearly expressing the qualities such as fairness,
kindness, persistence, and integrity
Authentic praise: praising honestly about specific
achievements
Focus on the best in each child so that he or she can
see that, as well
Connection
Building a sense of physical safety and emotional
security within your home.
Allowing the expression of emotions, so that kids will
feel comfortable reaching out during difficult times
Foster healthy relationships that will reinforce
positive messages
Character
Demonstrate how behaviors impact others
Help your child recognize him/herself as a caring
person
Demonstrate the importance of community
Contribution
Stress the importance of serving others by modeling
generosity
Creating opportunities for each child to contribute in
some specific way
Coping
Modeling effective coping on a consistent basis
Guiding the child to develop positive coping
strategies
Control
Help your child understand that discipline is about
guiding and teaching
Teach children that about the impact of choices and
actions
Three Resources of Resilience
To overcome adversities, children draw from three
sources of resilience :
I HAVE
I AM
I CAN
I HAVE…
People around me I trust and who love me, no matter
what
People who set limits for me so I know when to stop
before there is danger or trouble
People who show me how to do things right by the
way they do things
People who want me to learn to do things on my own
People who help me when I am sick, in danger or
need to learn
I AM
A person people can like and love
Glad to do nice things for others and show my concern
Respectful of myself and others
Willing to be responsible for what I do
I CAN…
Talk to others about things that bother or frighten me
Find ways to solve problems that I face
Control myself when I feel like doing something not
right or dangerous
Figure out when it is a good time to talk to someone
or to take action
Find someone to help me when I need it
(International Resilience Project)
Building Resilience at Home
Define Resiliency
Create a dialogue (books, quotes, movies)
Share a resilient role model
Create a resilient book or coping book
Discuss the resilience inventory
Draw resiliency: Draw a representation of what
resiliency looks like/feels like inside of you
Resilience Inventory
Identify a difficult time where they used strength and courage to
make it through. Explain that is an example of resiliency. Help them
identify these attributes and relate them to present and future uses.
Discuss a time in your life when you felt you where resilient.
How did people respond? What did they say?
How did that make you feel?
How does it feel now?
Is there anything you wish others had done?
Can you use what you learned from this experience now?
(Linda Goldman. 2004)
References
Ginsburg, Kenneth (2011). A Parent’s Guide to Building
Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Your Child Roots
and Wings, American Association of Pediatrics
Goldman, Linda (2004). Raising Our Children to Be
Resilient: A Guide to Helping Children Cope with Trauma
in Today's World, Routledge
Nan Henderson: www.resiliency.com
References
www.centerforresilientchildren.org/preschool/assess
ments-resources
Resilience Project: internationalresilience.org