Lord of the Flies
Essay/Outline Revisions
common problems
COMMON CORE STANDARDS
WS 5. DEVELOP AND STRENGTHEN WRITING AS NEEDED BY
PLANNING, REVISING, EDITING, REWRITING, OR TRYING A
NEW APPROACH, FOCUSING ON ADDRESSING WHAT IS MOST
SIGNIFICANT FOR A SPECIFIC PURPOSE AND AUDIENCE.
There is no great writing, only great rewriting.
- Justice Louis Brandeis
Quick Fixes
 MLA FORMAT PROBLEMS
Wrong Font – No Page Number
Double space
Too many spaces
Need to indent
Font
TIMES NEW ROMAN… ALWAYS
Titles and Authors
 What’s wrong with this?
Don’t forget the
author’s first name!
Novels use italics, not quotes
In Goulding’s novel “Lord of the Flies,” Piggy…
Spell the author’s name correctly
Titles and Authors
 What’s wrong with this?
Don’t forget the
author’s first name!
Novels use italics, not quotes
In William Golding’s novel Lord of the Flies, Piggy…
Spell the author’s name correctly
Attention Grabbers!
MAKING A GREAT FIRST
IMPRESSION
Don’t start with the thesis, start
with an attention grabber!
Attention Grabbers
 What’s the problem with these attention grabbers?
 Someone’s actions can drastically affect someone’s
life.
 There are some great leaders on this Earth.
 People around the world all have different
characteristics.
They are all too general.
Attention Grabbers
 What’s wrong with these?
Leaders represent the common people.
Leadership is one of the most important qualities in
any person.
It might not be true.
Attention Grabbers
 How about these?
 Without the guidance of authority, the youth of the
world would become evil and self-preserving.
 Martin Luther King Jr. is an American hero who
fought for equality, not only for himself but for all
Americans.
 As Jerry McClain once said, “The best example of
leadership is leadership by example.”
Transitions
 Assume the reader has never read the novel.
 Write one or two sentences on what the novel is
about (relating to your thesis).
 “In William Golding’s novel Lord of the Flies, a
group of a boys are stranded on a deserted island
after their plane crashes during a world war.
Needing to elect a leader, they quickly choose Ralph,
the boy who called them together using a conch…”
Concluding Paragraphs
MOVIES DON’T END WITH THE CLIMAX
BUT WITH THE DENOUEMENT.
Don’t forget
the universal statement
at the end!
Concluding Paragraphs
 Restate Thesis
 Review some of the key points in the paper.
 DON’T USE THE CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH TO
DISCUSS DIFFERENT THESIS PRONGS!
 End with a statement that is NOT about the novel.
BE CREATIVE!