Chapter FIVE:
Employing Interdependence
Quiz,
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Homework
Note: No late assignments will be accepted.
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Quiz Time
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Employing Interdependence
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Four Ways of Relating to Others
• Dependence
– “I can’t achieve my goals by myself.”
• Codependence
– “I have to help other people get their goals before I can
pursue my own goals.”
• Independence
– “By working hard, I can get some of what I want all by
myself.”
• Interdependence
– “I know I can get some of what I want by working along,
but I’ll accomplish more and have more fun if I give and
receive help.”
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Describe what you see?
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Describe what you see?
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Describe what you see?
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Creating a Support Network
• Seek help from your
instructors
• Get help from college
resources
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Academic
Financial
Personal
Health
Career
Social
• Create a TEAM!
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How to listen actively
Step 1: Listen to understand
• To fully understand
Step 2: Clear your mind and remain silent
• Don’t be distracted by your Inner Critic & Defender
Step 3: Ask the person to expand or clarify
• Get additional information
Step 4: Reflect the other person’s thoughts and
feelings
• Restate and verify
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Ineffective Communication
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Ineffective Communication
Placating
• “It’s okay if you don’t help with our project
in sociology. I’ll just do the project myself.”
• “Please don’t be upset with me. I’ll drive
your friends to the airport and study for my
math test later.”
• “I’m sorry. I should have cleaned up the
mess from the party last night. I’ll do it right
now.”
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Ineffective Communication
Blaming
• “You never do anything to help our study
team. You’re just lazy!”
• “This room is a mess! When do you plan to
start doing your share of the work around
here?”
• “My sociology instructor gives unfair tests!
He thinks he can ask questions about
anything that we were supposed to read for
homework.”
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Effective Communication
Leveling
• “I know you’re got a lot of work to do
tonight. Could we spend just ten minutes
cleaning up this mess together?
• “Before I can help you with your paper, I
need to finish studying for a test. How
about if you help me review tonight and I’ll
work with you on your paper tomorrow
afternoon?”
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Applying the Concept
“I was really upset when you
and your friends came in at
three o’clock last night,
laughing and yelling. I have
to leave for work at 6 a.m.
and I need my sleep. Would
you agree to never do that
again?”
Leveling
“Don’t worry about waking
me up last night. I know you
enjoy partying with your
friends. I’ll just go to work
sleepy. If I get fired, I can
probably find another job.”
Placating
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Applying the Concept
“You are such a jerk! You
never show respect for
anyone. Why in the world
would you be yelling and
slamming stuff around at
three o'clock in the
morning?! Man, you make
me sick!”
Placating
“Professor Hartley, I had a
couple of questions about
my failing grade on the test,
and I'd like to make an
appointment to discuss
those with you. Would
tomorrow morning during
your office hours be a good
time? Say 9:30?”
Leveling
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Preparation Time
• This is your time to prepare your presentation
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Homework
• Journal 17 – page 150
• Journal 19 – page 161
• Read Wise Choices in College
– Rehearsing and Memorizing Study Materials – page
165
Journals for 5th edition only:
• 16, 18
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Study Guide
• Dependence, Codependence, Independence and
Interdependence
• OPB
• Active listening
• Placate, Blame and Level
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