Academic Survival
Employing Interdependence
Presentation based on:
Downing, Skip. On Course: Strategies for Creating
Success in College and Life, 3rd Ed.
Interdependence
Successful Students
Struggling Students
Develop mutually
supportive
relationships,
recognizing that life is
richer when giving to
and receiving from
others.
Remain dependent,
co-dependent, or
independent in relation
to others.
Interdependence
Successful Students
Struggling Students
Create a support
network, using an
interactive team
approach to success.
Work alone, seldom
cooperating with
others for the common
good of all.
Interdependence
Successful Students
Struggling Students
Strengthen relationships
with active listening,
showing their concern
for the other person’s
thoughts and feelings.
Listen poorly,
demonstrating little desire
to understand another
person’s perspective.
Interdependence
In our relationships with other people, there are
four common types of people:
•
Dependent people believe that most of the
work in accomplishing their goals will have
to be done by others. A dependent person
takes too much from others.
•
Co-dependent people believe that they can
pursue their goals as soon as they have
helped others achieve their goals. A codependent person gives too much.
Interdependence
•Independent people – believe that they can get what
they want all by themselves without the help of anyone. An
independent person seldom gives or receives.
•Interdependent people – believe that they can accomplish
what they want mostly by themselves, but will be able to
accomplish MORE and have more fun if they give and
receive help. The interdependent person finds a balance
between giving and receiving.
Interdependence
Successful students create a supportive team and maximize
college success by:
•Seeking assistance from instructors
•Creating study partnerships, project teams
•Seeking assistance from librarian and other academic
assistance personnel
•Seeking assistance from advisors, counselors
•Using the assistance of community resources
•Engaging the help of family members
Interdependence
The most important characteristic in a healthy mutually
supportive relationship is the ability to be an active listener.
How to listen actively:
1. Listen to understand. (empathy)
2. Clear your mind and remain silent. (silence)
3. Ask the person to expand or clarify. (expansion / clarification)
4. Reflect the other person’s thoughts and feelings. (reflection)
Believing in Yourself: Be Assertive
Two obstacles to building effective relationships are placating
and blaming.
Placating – when an individual acts as a victim by placing
themselves below others so as to avoid the criticism or
judgment of others.
Blaming – when an individual acts as a victim by blaming all
failures, trials, or problems on others.
Creator Communication
Effective communication occurs through leveling – the ability to
act as a creator by using simple, yet profound communication
that asserts the truth as you see it.
• Communicate purposefully – express a clear purpose for
your communication even in times of upset.
•
Communicate honestly – express unpopular thoughts and
upset feelings in the service of building healthy
relationships.
Creator Communication
•
Communicate responsibly – express thoughts using
an I-message. These message contain four elements:
1.
2.
3.
4.
A statement of the situation (When you…)
A statement of your reaction (I felt / thought / decided…)
A request (I’d like to ask that you…)
An invitation to respond (Will you agree to that?)
Making Requests
Making effective requests is a vital skill for successful
students to develop. Always approach requests from a
creator’s voice rather than a victim’s voice.
Requests are most effective when the DAPPS principle is
applied: dated, achievable, personal, positive, and
specific.
Victim
I’m going to be absent next
Friday. It sure would be nice
if someone would let me
know if I miss anything.
Creator
John, I’m going to be
absent next Friday.
Would you be willing to
call me Friday night
and tell me what I missed.
Saying NO!
NO is not a rude word. Use it when you simply cannot commit
to the request of others. NO requires no further explanation, it
is a complete sentence all by itself.