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Writing with Detail, Depth and
Dimension
• Prepositional phrases
• Adverbials
• Appositives
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Examples of Prepositional Phrases
from Edith Wharton’s
Ethan Frome:
Far off above us a square of light trembled through the screen of snow.
Staggering along in Frome's wake I floundered toward it, and in the darkness
almost fell into one of the deep drifts against the front of the house.
Frome scrambled up the slippery steps of the porch, digging a way
through the snow with his heavily booted foot. Then he lifted his lantern,
found the latch, and led the way into the house.
I went after him into a low unlit passage, at the back of which
a ladder-like staircase rose into obscurity. On our right a line
of light marked the door of the room which had sent its ray across the night;
and behind the door I heard a woman's voice...
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Detail, Depth, Dimension
Notice how every sentence is studded with
prepositional phrases.
…above us a square of light trembled through the screen of snow.
Staggering along in Frome's wake I floundered toward it, and in the darkness
almost fell into one of the deep drifts against the front of the house.
Frome scrambled up the slippery steps of the porch, digging a way
through the snow with his heavily booted foot. Then he lifted his lantern,
found the latch, and led the way into the house.
I went after him into a low unlit passage, at the back of which
a ladder-like staircase rose into obscurity. On our right a line
of light marked the door of the room which had sent its ray across the night;
and behind the door I heard a woman's voice...
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Prepositional phrases can be piled
up, side by side.
into one of the deep drifts against the front of the house
up the slippery steps of the porch
through the snow with his heavily booted foot
after him into a low unlit passage, at the back of which
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Any word that will fit into this space would be
a preposition:
somewhere ________ the rainbow
over
near
across from
under
in
away from
behind
inside
beneath
around
on
through
at
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outside
What questions do prepositional
phrases answer?
Where?
When?
What kind?
Which one?
above us, up the slippery steps, into obscurity
at night, after dinner, in the morning
of gold, with puffy sleeves
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How can I use prepositional phrases to make my writing
more interesting?
Look for nouns in the sentence that you can say more about:
Where?
When?
What kind?
Which one?
Vary your sentence structure by beginning some sentences with
with prepositional phrases.
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How can I use prepositional phrases to make my writing
more interesting?
Vary your sentence structure by placing prepositional phrases in
various parts of your sentences.
Here’s how Mark Twain does this in
a passage from Life on the Mississippi:
Sometimes, in the big river, when we would be feeling our way
cautiously along through a fog, the deep hush would suddenly
be broken by yells and a clamor of tin pans, and all in instant
a log raft would appear vaguely through the webby veil,
close upon us;
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Detail and Dimension Technique II:
Adverbials
Adverbs: Answer these q’s:
where? when? why? to what extent? how?
adverbial: any word, phrase, or clause that
answers the q’s that an adverb answers
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Examples of Adverbials:
When Jack London wrote White Fang, he used many adverbials to provide
detail and dimension:
The men slept, breathing heavily, side by side, under the one covering.
The fire died down, and the gleaming eyes drew closer the circle they had
flung about the camp. The dogs clustered together in fear, now and again
snarling menacingly as a pair of eyes drew close. Once their uproar became
so loud that Bill woke up. He got out of bed carefully, so as not to disturb the
sleep of his comrade, and threw more wood on the fire. As it began to flame up,
the circle of eyes drew farther back. He glanced casually at the huddling dogs.
He rubbed his eyes and looked at them more sharply.
Then he crawled back into the blankets
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Examples of Adverbials:
You may have noticed that prepositional phrases can be adverbials if they
answer the questions that adverbials answer (where? when? why? to what
extent? in what manner?)
The men slept, breathing heavily, side by side, under the one covering.
The fire died down, and the gleaming eyes drew closer the circle they had
flung about the camp. The dogs clustered together in fear, now and again
snarling menacingly as a pair of eyes drew close. Once their uproar became
so loud that Bill woke up. He got out of bed carefully, so as not to disturb the
sleep of his comrade, and threw more wood on the fire. As it began to flame up,
the circle of eyes drew farther back. He glanced casually at the huddling dogs.
He rubbed his eyes and looked at them more sharply.
Then he crawled back into the blankets
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Notice that some adverbials consist of a single word:
down
closer
up
carefully
casually
once
together
then
And still others consist of an entire clause:
as a pair of eyes drew close,
as it began to flame up
While others consist of a phrase:
breathing heavily
side by side
under the one covering
about the camp
in fear
out of bed
so as not to disturb the sleep of his comrade
on the fire
farther back
at the huddling dogs
at them
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more sharply
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back into the blankets
Detail, Depth and Dimension Technique III:
Appositives
Review and Remember:
An appositive is a noun or pronoun placed beside
another noun or pronoun to identify or describe it.
Another way to recognize appositives:
Think of an appositive as being a re-namer of the noun or pronoun
that precedes it:
This one is Lucianus, nephew to the king.
nephew to the king re-names Lucianus.
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Examples of Appositives
Let’s
. look at how real authors use appositives to re-name nouns in their
sentences:
From Ethan Frome, by Edith Wharton:
On my arrival at Starkfield, Denis Eady, the rich Irish grocer…
the rich Irish grocer re-names Denis Eady.
Here’s how this appositive fits in to Edith Wharton’s full sentence:
On my arrival at Starkfield, Denis Eady, the rich Irish grocer,
who was the proprietor of Starkfield's nearest approach to a livery stable,
had entered into an agreement to send me over daily to Corbury Flats,
where I had to pick up my train for the Junction
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Example of appositive from Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton:
…Mattie Silver, his wife’s cousin.
Mattie Silver re-names his wife’s cousin.
Here’s how the appositive fits into Edith Wharton’s whole sentence:
Frome was in the habit.of walking into Starkfield to fetch home his wife's cousin, Mattie
Silver.
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Appositives can be used to give more information about a place,
as this one, by Jack London in White Fang, does:
It was the Wild, the savage, frozen- hearted Northland Wild
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An appositive can be a metaphor.
Here’s a famous one from Homer’s The Odyssey:
Now when the child of morning, rosy-fingered Dawn,
appeared,Telemachus rose and dressed himself
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Shakespeare used appositives in his writing:
Here are three ideas, expressed in three short sentences:
There are a few of us.
We are happy.
Not very poetic, is it?
We are a band of brothers.
Here’s how Shakespeare presents these three ideas as a series of appositives:
appositive
appositive
appositive
We
few, we happy few, we band of brothers,
And here’s the rest of this stirring sentence from the battle scene
in Henry V:
But we in it shall be remembered-We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he who sheds his blood with me today
Shall be my brother.
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And here is what Macbeth observes about life at the end of the play:
Life’s but a walking shadow.
Life’s a poor player.
Here is how Shakespeare uses an appositive to have Macbeth express his despair:
appositive
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,…
And here’s the whole sentence:
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more.
Amy Benjamin.
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Review: Detail, Depth and
Dimension
If you want to be in interesting writer, do what the great writers have
done:
Use prepositional phrases to add information about time and place.
Begin some sentences with prepositional phrases to vary your sentence
structure.
Use adverbials to answer questions that provide information: where?
when? why? to what extent? in what manner?
Use appositives after nouns or pronouns to give more information
about them by using a re-namer. Note that commas should surround
an appositive. (The comma is optional is the appositive is a single word.
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Practice: Be a Better Writer
Use prepositional phrases, adverbials, and
appositives to describe something interesting in
nature, such as:
• A sunrise or sunset
• Ocean waves
• Clouds
• Rain or snow
• A storm
• The behavior of an animal
Amy Benjamin.
www.amybenjamin.com