Helping Employees Cope with the
Death of a Co-Worker or Close
Family Member
Sandra Ray, CIRS
United Way of Greater Houston
And
Toni Gutierrez, M.Ed, CIRS, CRS, CIRS-A
Concho Valley Council of Governments
Objectives





Planning in advance for the death of an
employee or a co-worker (agency
policies/procedures)
Examining the situation. Is the death expected
or imminent? Is it an unexpected event?
Coping with the supervisor’s grief while
assisting employees with the grieving process
Managing the day-to-day work after the death
of an employee.
Transitioning to the new “normal” and moving
to the next steps in the program/agency.
Unimaginable Circumstances
Co-worker deaths can have significant
impact on workplace
 Can affect productivity of workplace
 Dynamics of workplace can change
dramatically
 “People who work together can become
like extended family, and when they suffer
a loss, friends and co-workers grieve.”

(www.michigan.gov)
Policies/Procedures
Many organizations do not have policies
relating to death of employees.
 Consider issues such as:

◦ What is supervisor’s role?
◦ What role does Human Resources play?
◦ Who can be informed and at what point?
(includes family, emergency contacts,
employees at different levels of agency)
Nature of Death

Terminal illness
◦ May allow time for employees to process and
have closure
◦ Consider

Unexpected Death
◦ May invoke especially strong emotions
◦ Contact employees who are away from office

Provide private grieving space
Daily Operations

What were the employees job duties?
◦ Redistribute job duties
◦ Promote someone to assume these duties
◦ Rehire position

Make decisions about workspace.
◦ Length of time deceased employee’s workspace may
be empty
◦ Consider rearranging office space if possible
Workspace Issues
It can be awkward to sort through a deceased
employee’s personal effects.
 The supervisor and one other person (possibly
an HR representative) should be present when
sorting through these items.
 Catalogue items as you sort
 Return to the designated family member – if
items will be shipped, get proof of delivery.

Working with the Family
Family members may want to visit the
office.
 Establish boundaries or time frames for
these visits.
 Be prepared for the emotions of the
families.

Working With the Family



HR department needs to be primary contact for benefit
issues.
Agencies without HR departments may delegate these
issues to the immediate supervisor.
Determine answers to questions like scope of benefits,
beneficiaries, and any final pay issues before meeting
with the family.
◦ Accrued sick/vacation leave payout
◦ Employees without a will
◦ Notification of insurance company/copy of death certificate
Grieving in the Workplace
Designate one person to handle emails/phone
calls regarding donations, flowers, gifts for family,
etc.
 If the memorial services or funeral take place
during work hours, staff persons may want to
attend. Have a back-up plan for operations
during this time.
 Consider holding a separate memorial service
for the workplace.

Memorial Services
Let employees help plan
 Keep program neutral to honor
religious/spiritual needs of all employees
 Allow enough time for everyone to say
good-bye
 If memorial service isn’t possible, consider
a short retreat from office to process
emotions

Grief Counseling for Employees
Some issues are best handled by
professionals
 Group grief sessions with a trained
therapist may help
 If organization has an Employee
Assistance Program, stress its benefit to
employees to let them grieve individually.

Supervisors Grieve Too
Supervisors face unique situation.
 Seen as person who is strong and will lead the
agency into “new normal,” yet need time to
grieve.

◦ Is it ok to cry in front of your staff?
◦ Employees should see active grieving, yet continued
productivity

Consider personal sessions with grief counselor
or EAP
Moving Forward

Support informal rituals if possible
◦ Donations to charity
◦ Dedicate tree or library book to deceased
New employees are not replacements for
the deceased
 Return to productive work in a respectful
way that honors deceased’s memory

When a Co-Worker Experiences a
Loss
Cards, flowers, handwritten notes
 Co-workers may be able to donate
vacation days for additional time off
 Consider ways to help short-term

◦ Donate gift cards for meals
◦ Offer to provide childcare for respite
◦ Provide housekeeping or yard work
When a Co-Worker Experiences a
Loss
Grieving is a long-term process
 Amount of leave time available to
employees will not give them time to fully
grieve before returning to work
 Be sensitive to moments when employee
may seem overwhelmed
 Be available.
 EAP options

Questions?
Sandra Ray, CIRS
United Way of Greater Houston
713-685-2469
sray@unitedwayhouston.org
Toni Gutierrez, M.Ed, CIRS, CRS, CIRS-A
Concho Valley Council of Governments
325-223-5704
toni@cvcog.org