“Embracing Change To Experience Life!”
Proverbs 10:17
Proverbs 10:17….
“He who heeds discipline
shows the way to life, but
whoever ignores correction
leads others astray.”
(NIV)
Proverbs 27:5,6….
“
Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
(v.6) Wounds from a friend
can be trusted, but an
enemy multiplies kisses.”
(v.5)
(NIV)
The sign of a
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP….
• NOT an absence of conflict.
• BUT the ability to resolve conflict
in a positive,
healthy way.
The real test of our
congregation’s health is our
ability to resolve these
conflicts in a healthy, biblical
way.
Six Steps to….
Proverbs 10:12….
“Hatred stirs up dissension,
but LOVE covers all wrongs.”
(NIV)
The Hebrew word for
… simply refers to “strong dislike
for another person.”
Strong dislike for people stirs
up arguments.
covers over all wrongs.
This Hebrew verb
“cover”
here comes from the
Hebrew word for
"forgive."
Therefore….
“to cover a wrong”
is to forgive an offense;
to let an offense go.
1 Peter 4:8….
“Above all, love each
other deeply because
love covers a multitude
of sins.”
(NIV)
Decide ahead of time to conduct
yourself with love.
With every conflict we face a
crossroad, a decision of whether
to conduct ourselves with love or to
conduct ourselves in an unloving way.
This DECISION is often a difficult
one…. that
costs us and goes against
our natural impulses.
This is the Christian path of
GROWTH and MATURITY,
the pathway of love.
LOVE is making the decision
to act in the best interests of
the other person.
LOVE is a decision that puts
the needs of the person above
our own needs at that moment.
By willingly going to the Cross,
Jesus made the decision to do
what was
in our best interests
at great cost to Himself.
1 John 3:16.…
“This is how we know
what love is: Jesus Christ laid
down his life for us. And we
ought to lay down our lives
for our brothers.”
(NIV)
Matthew 5:46.…
“If you love those who love you,
what reward will you get?
Are not even the tax collectors
doing that?” (NIV)
Proverbs 19:11….
“A person’s wisdom gives him
patience; it is to his glory to
overlook an offense.”
(NIV)
The “wise person” learns
to overlook offenses.
… forgive that offense
Therefore, the decision to love
gives the wise person the
capacity to forgive.
For FORGIVENESS to occur,
there has to be an
acknowledgement that
an offense occurred.
is simply the choice of not holding
on to an offense.
Proverbs 19:11.…
“A man’s wisdom gives him
patience; it is to his glory
to overlook an offense.”
(NIV)
A refusal to forgive
a person is UNWISE
because it ends up poisoning our
lives with bitterness.
According to the Bible,
a lack of forgiveness causes two
things to happen….
1) It opens our life to
satanic power.
2) It chokes off God’s grace.
Proverbs 27:5,6….
Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
(v.6) Wounds from a friend
can be trusted, but an enemy
multiplies kisses.” (NIV)
“
(v.5)
Direct confrontation
is always better than
unexpressed love!
must
confront
sometimes!
HIDDEN LOVE
is a love that’s
too timid and afraid
to confront a person.
Whenever we’re in a CONFLICT
with another person,
we need to
“open ourselves to
correction.”
To solve real problems,
we need to learn to
“OPEN UP”
to one another.
We need to
OPEN OURSELVES UP
to any part we played
in the problem.
When we open ourselves
to receive correction,
WE GROW!
Proverbs 28:13….
“He who conceals his sins
does not prosper, but whoever
confesses and
renounces
them finds mercy.”
(NIV)
Only the person I hurt can make
the choice to "cover" or
"overlook" my offense.
cuts off God’s blessings
in my life.
hinders my prayer life.
chokes off God’s love.
builds a blockade against
God’s presence.
When we confess and renounce
our sins,
we discover
MERCY.
simply means
“agree” or
“acknowledge.”
means
“to abandon”
“Renouncing” means we leave
that sin behind, turn away from it in
repentance.
We always find
MERCY from God
when we confess
and renounce, BUT
we don’t always find MERCY
from people.
Proverbs 29:22….
“An angry person stirs up
dissension, and a hottempered one (person)
commits many sins.”
(NIV)
In any conflict,
“ANGER” is like petrol,
and when anger is expressed
inappropriately, minor conflicts
can become volatile arguments.
When we lose our temper,
we end up committing
more and more sins.
We hurl words of
abuse and insult
on the person.
We cut and slash with
words of sarcasm.
We destroy the
person’s reputation
with other people.
According to the Bible,
it is possible to be angry
and express our anger without
sinning!
This same verse also
commands us to refuse
to allow the day to end
without dealing with the
ANGER!
Unresolved anger is like
toxic waste; when we refuse to deal
with it, it seeps
into every aspect of the relationship,
contaminating it.
What about the
other person?
The reality is that you have
absolutely no
control over how
the other person
acts in a conflict.
Proverbs 9:7-9….
“
Whoever corrects a
mocker invites insult; whoever
rebukes a wicked person
invites abuse. (v.8) Do not
rebuke a mocker or he will
hate you; rebuke a wise person
and he will love you. .…
(v.7)
Proverbs 9:7-9….
…. (v.9) Instruct a wise
person and he will be wiser
still; teach a righteous
person and he will add
to his learning.”
(NIV)
The "mocker" in this section is a
person who is simply
not open to correction.
Proverbs tells us, “Don’t
bother with this person.”
LOVE this person.
PRAY for him.
Matthew 7:3….
“Why do you look at the
speck of sawdust in your
brother's eye and pay no
attention to the plank in
your own eye?” (NIV)
In other words,
look at yourself first, and only
after you’ve done self
evaluation, are you ready to
bring
correction to others.
When we correct people
we need to
carefully balance
with
is needful.
… is extending compassion
and mercy to people when we
confront them.
… comes when we’re willing to
forgive, when we avoid name
calling and sarcasm.
… means giving the other person the
benefit of the doubt rather than
assuming that they have impure
motives.
is also important.
… is being open and honest with
what the other person has done
and how their actions have
affected us.
… refuses to minimize the issue, but
it also doesn’t blow the issue out of
proportion.
… is also being honest with your
emotions, taking the risk to share
what’s going on in your heart.
People who are weak in
GRACE GIVING often
REFUSE to forgive.
We need to
in our life!
John 13:35….
“By this all men [people]
will know that you are my
disciples [followers],
if you love one another.”
(NIV)