“Anyone can become angry – that
is easy. But to be angry with the
right person, to the right degree,
at the right time, and in the right
way, that is not easy.”
Aristotle 350 BC
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence
…is understanding emotions and
emotional knowledge,
to regulate emotions so as to promote
emotional and intellectual growth.
Mayer & Salovey, 1997
Simply defined…
Emotional Intelligence
(EI) is the ability to use
emotions effectively and
productively.
Emotional Intelligence is not…
Being nice all of the time.
 Acting as the “yes” person.
 Striving to be a people pleaser.
 Being selfless and self-sacrificing.

Emotional Intelligence is …

Choosing your thoughts, words and
actions consciously and deliberately with
noble intentions in mind.
Two points for discussion:
1.
2.
What are emotions?
Why is Emotional
intelligence important?
Emotions Defined
Emotions are a feedback system that drive
behaviour and decisions.
 Emotions are primal (fight/flee/freeze).
 Emotions are universal.
 Emotions are neither good nor bad.
 There are over 8000 words in the English
language to describe emotions.
Health warning: Emotions can
be contagious!

Emotions, Brains and Patterns
Our brains like to form patterns.
 Some patterns are learned quickly - it only takes
1/100 of a millisecond for your brain to learn a
new pattern - touch a hot stove.

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Patterns become ingrained, and when you are in
distress, these patterns dictate your behaviour unfortunately, when you need to make careful
decisions, you are least likely to.
Our Brain (at a glance)

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When senses enter the brain, they go to the thalamus
(the thalamus acts like an air traffic controller and sends
the information to the right place – generally to the
cortex where higher order thinking is exercised).
Sometimes, the thalamus determines that the
information requires a more rapid response and sends
the impulse directly to the amygdale (limbic brain responsible for processing emotion).
This can lead to a high stake pattern referred to as
“Emotional High-jacking”.
Can you think of an instance when
this would be beneficial?
Reacting without consulting the
cortex (higher order thinking).
Can you spot the moment when emotional
high-jacking happened?
 Have you ever experienced an emotional
high-jacking?

Using the six second rule
This is one technique used to
prevent emotional high-jacking.
Count to 10 in another language
 Recite your favourite quote.
 Rehearse parts of a song backwards.
 Count how many consonants/vowels are in
a word.
Techniques should change periodically.
Can you think of any other techniques?

Why is Emotional Intelligence
Important?
Research shows that emotional
intelligence is strongly linked to students
staying in school, avoiding risk behaviours,
and improving health, happiness and
success.
 When developed and well employed, it
has wide-ranging benefits for learning,
relationships and wellness.
“Most successful people are not necessarily
those with high IQ’s but those with highly

developed interpersonal and social skills.”
The SixSeconds’ Model to
increase EQ:

Self-Awareness- increasing knowledge of
yourself, recognising patterns and feelings (what
makes you tick – what upsets you?)

Self-Management- building self-direction,
consciously choosing thoughts, feelings, and
actions.

Self-Development –aligning your daily
choices with your larger sense of purpose. Using
empathy and principled decision making to
increase wisdom, living through your noble goal.
1) Self-Awareness
Cause and effects of your own feelings
and reactions, acknowledge patterns, and
communicate emotions.
 Self-honesty – acceptance of your own
qualities and faults.
 Independence – you have a choice about
your thoughts, feelings and actions.

1) Self-Awareness
Enhancing emotional Literacy and
Recognizing patterns.

Complete this personal statement:
When I ___________, I ____________.
Example:
When I am ignored, I get very annoyed!
Is this a pattern of behaviour for you?
Think about the brain and its patterns.
Self-Management
Think of a time when something didn’t
work out for you (or an unresolved
conflict)
Thoughts
It’s not fair.
Feelings
Actions
Defeated
Obsession with
Anger
discussing event.
Upset a lot.
Now….
Change one of your answers:
Thoughts
Feelings
Actions
The power of optimism!
Optimism is…
building hope for the future.
 expecting that desired events will occur and
acting in ways to make them more likely.
 rooted in the knowledge that we have the power
to change, grow and move forward.
 seeing failure as temporary.

People with high optimism are able to
motivate themselves when caught in
difficult situations and make new paths.
“Optimism is the faith that leads to
achievement. Nothing can be done
without hope and confidence.” Helen Keller
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every
opportunity. An optimist sees the
opportunity in every difficulty.”
Sir Winston Churchill
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
Proverbs 23:7
In Conclusion…
Emotions are like emails: you have to
open them up in order to understand
them.
 Recognise patterns in yourself and your
peers.
 Own your patterns .
 Try alternatives to your regular course of
actions.

In the words of Gandi…
“Be the change that
you wish to see.”
RELATIONSHIPS
What does this word mean to you?
 What is the first thing that comes into
your head?
 Do you have positive experiences –
friendships
 Do you have negative experiences –
break-ups etc
 What should a relationship be like?

Task for Today
Write a poem/short story/ create a role play
about what relationships mean to you
 Can be positive or negative
 Can be a real life story or invented
 Needs to express you feelings/views
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Deadline Monday Morning