LIBERTY UNIVERSITY BAPTIST THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY Ministry Integration Project Submitted to Dr. Paul Sample, in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the completion of the course SEMI 500 B16 Introduction to Seminary Studies by Tim Myers March 7, 2014 Table of Contents Introduction Family Integration Reflection Relational Enhancers Intellectual Enhancers Practical Enhancers Spousal Interview Seminary Schedule Spiritual Formation Reflection Spouse’s Relational Formation Spouse’s Intellectual Formation Spouse’s Practical Formation Conclusion Bibliography 2 3 8 11 12 13 15 1 2 Introduction According to Miala Legako, “marriage is arguably the most consistent, valuable relationship that persons may form in a lifetime”1 She goes on to say, “when it works, marriage is a powerful resource for social support, a place for growth, conflict resolution, and ongoing reassessment of beliefs, valuables, and dreams.”2 She also says, “when it doesn’t work, however, marriage is hell.”3 To add to the mixture of life and stress many people go back to graduate school or start graduate school while married. This creates a new arena where stress can add to the trials of marriage between spouses. In a study by Carla Dahl, she noted “the impact of graduate study on students marriages is a topic that has been discussed widely in the past three decades.”4 Dahl comments on the studies’ findings and says, “themes were common to two or more studies included the time commitment and course expectations that divert students away from their spouses and families,” and “role conflict and the assumption of extra responsibilities by the non-student spouse.”5 Time commitments and extra responsibilities are two of the most trying challenges for the seminary student and the seminary spouse. To add to this, According to Benjamin Forest, “seminary is a unique experience” and “it is different that other graduate programs because it is not just educating for a vocational profession, but it is educating for a life rooted in a ministry calling.”6 One of the challenging things about seminary and the seminary experience is the incorporation of one’s spouse into the 1 Mikala Legako and Randall Sorenson, “Christian Psychology Graduate School’s Impact on Marriage: Nonstudent Spouses Speak,” Journal of Psychology and Theology 28, no. 3 (2000), 212. 2 Ibid., 212. 3 Ibid., 212. 4 Carla Dahl, et al., “A Butterfly Effect: The Impact of Marriage and Family Therapy Training on Students’ Spouses,” Journal of Psychology and Theology 38, no. 1 (2010), 3. 5 Ibid., 4. 6 Benjamin Forrest, “Exploring the Spiritually Formative Experiences of Seminary Spouses: A Phenomenological Inquiry” (Ed.D. diss., Liberty University, 2013), 111, accessed March 3, 2014. 3 journey of seminary education and eventually full time ministry. Forest notes three areas that where themed in the spiritual formation of seminary spouses while their husbands attended seminary training. These three areas are: (1) the relational, (2) the intellectual, and the (3) practical enhancers of the seminary experience. By exploring what Forest found in his study, this paper will take from each of these and incorporate a plan of integration to include the author’s spouse into his seminary experience at Liberty University. To do this, the author will interview his spouse to discuss strengths and weaknesses that will affect the seminary experience. Also included will be a seminary schedule to help map out times of study and family time for the next seminary course. Finally, this paper will include a plan of action on how the author will incorporate his spouse into his future ministry by using the findings of Forest’s study and the classical spiritual disciplines. Finally this paper will focus on the author can facilitate the spiritual formation on his family during his seminary experience and into the future of his family’s call to ministry. Family Integration Reflection Integration with Enhancers Forest states there are both “Enhancers and Detractors of Spiritual Formation.”7 He states, “included in the Enhancers of Formation are the following three subthemes: Relational enhancers, Intellectual enhancers, and Practical enhancers.”8 By exploring these enhancers from Forest’s study the author can discuss how he can take the findings and relate them on how to incorporate his spouse into his seminary experience and future ministry. 7 8 Forest, Seminary Spouses, 86. Ibid., 86. 4 Relational Enhancers The first enhancer is the relational enhancer and specifically, Forest describes one aspect of these are horizontal relationships. These “are primarily those that take place between the spouse and student.”9 Forest found in his study that the relationship between the spouse and the student was vital during the seminary experience. Once such student in his study noted “her maturation experience was unique as an online spouse because her husband did not have a professor to sit down and talk with when he had theological questions. Instead, she became the sounding board.”10 This strengthened their relationship as they came together to solve the questions and discussions of the courses as a couple. For the author, this is a great way to incorporate his wife into his studies. Capitalizing on the online format and absent of a physical instructor in close proximity, the author can engage in conversation with his wife on the topics and theological discussions from his class. As the author reads the course readings and material, he can discuss his findings and what he is learning with her to contribute to his involvement. This will also help his spouse not feel isolated and alone during his intense seasons of reading and study. The next relationship Forest describes under the relational enhancer is the vertical relationship between the spouse and God. In his study, he found some spouses to actually come to Christ during their seminary experience. Others grew to a deeper relationship and experience with God during their seminary time. One spouse indicated she had a deeper dependence on God during her husband’s time in seminary and noted God came through over and over for her during that season.11 Fortunately for the author, his spouse has a mature relationship with Christ and is involved in ministry. Yet, the author still needs to be aware as Forest’s conclusions point 9 Forest, Seminary Spouses, 88. Ibid., 88. 11 Ibid., 94. 10 5 to, that his spouse will be prone to leaning on God for more fulfillment during his seminary studies. This is a good thing, as it will lend to her spiritual formation, but it needs to be understood by the author so he will not assume that he can be disconnected from his spouse’s spiritual and emotional fulfillment. With prayer and relational interaction, the author can be a part of his wife’s spiritual life despite his focus on his own studies. Intellectual Enhancers According to the study, the next area is the intellectual enhancer; where seminary had an effect on the spouses. Forest notes one thing that helped the spouses intellectually was their assistance to their husbands in proof reading their papers.12 This put the material and course assignments in front of the spouses to glean from and follow what their husbands were learning. Another area was the curriculum and studies themselves that proved to be a vital intellectual enhancer. Forest notes, “all of the spouses mentioned specific aspects of the seminary curriculum that impacted their husband and then translated to themselves as their husbands shared what he learned.”13 The author asked his spouse during the preparation of this paper if she would be interested in proof reading his papers, at which she said a strong ‘no.’ Given her own calling to lead worship at their church and her part time job, she expressed that it would not be something she could add to her daily things to do. Despite this though, the author’s wife has expressed great interest in his studies and the course curriculum that he has had thus far. Being in a current ministry position at church, the author’s wife expressed excitement about being a part of the learning process and being included in the curriculum and studies that the author is working on. 12 13 Forest, Seminary Spouses, 95. Ibid., 97. 6 This will be a great opportunity for the author to include his wife on is journey and intellectual grow during seminary and in turn add to his spouse’s growth as well. Practical Enhancers The final area of enhancers was the practical things that went along with the seminary experience. Forest states that “practical enhancers are anything that adds to the formation of the spouse by challenging them to put their formation into tangible or ministerial action.”14 The most important enhancers of the practical aspects for the Forest’s findings was the spiritual disciplines and ministry involvement. Many of the wives Forest interviewed stated their practice of the spiritual disciplines were crucial to their spiritual formation and enhancement during their seminary experience. One spouse recorded in the study that she “structured her life to spend time in disciplined prayer, study, and listening”15 during their seminary experience. The other practical aspect was the ministry praxis, which according to Forest; “is a common theological term connoting action.”16 Thus, Forest notes one of the ways the “spouses experienced practical enhancements to their formation was through ministry action.”17 The study found the wives of the seminary benefitted greatly by being involved in some sort of ministry during their spouse’s seminary training. As mentioned above, the author’s wife is currently the worship leader at their church and very involved in the ministry of worship on a weekly basis. Yet, with that said, the author knows that spiritual discipline can be lacking in his spouse’s life. As Forest found in his study, one detractor of formation was the fact of time constraints on their spouses’ by the seminary schedule. Forest noted “most of the spouses expressed frustration at some point or another in the 14 Forest, Seminary Spouses, 103. Ibid., 103. 16 Ibid., 104. 17 Ibid., 104. 15 7 amount of time that the seminary program”18 took from their family. One such spouse said this affected her spiritual life and formation because she had to pick up the extra work around the house that her spouse use to do. She stated “she had little time to emphasize her own spiritual formation because of the added responsibilities placed on her in the role of mother, teacher, pastor’s wife, and not seminary spouse.”19 The author can help implement his spouse’s spiritual formation by being an encourager to her to practice the disciplines as much as possible. In addition, he can do the practical aspect of a busy household and continue to help with household chores and items such as dishes, laundry and clean up. This will help his spouse find the free time in her busy schedule to get away with God and implement the disciplines in her personal life. Summary of Refection on Integration It is important to see the different enhancers that Forest found in his study of seminary spouses. And it is even more important to learn from them and incorporate the findings in to the present. The author takes note of the relational, intellectual and practical enhancers that will affect the formation of his spouse during his seminary experience. By taking an active mentality now, the author can include his spouse in his learning and experience for the next few eyes as he pursues his MDiv. The author can make sure he is discussing his courses and curriculum with his wife during his studies to aid in the relational formation of his wife. In addition, he can discuss the theological concepts and findings that he develops with his spouse to help facilitate her intellectual formation. And finally he can encourage her to press into God’s presence by practicing the spiritual disciplines. He can continue to help with the daily routine to help his spouse carve out time to engage God in her own spiritual walk with the disciplines. 18 19 Ibid., 108. Forest, Seminary Spouses, 108. 8 Spousal Interview The next portion of this paper will turn to the author’s spouse in form of an interview with questions and answers regarding her spiritual life and the seminary experience as a whole. Before the interview though, this paper will discover who the author’s wife is. The wife of the author, Jane Myers, was interviewed on 03/05/2014 at 9:30 AM. She grew up in a Christian home and attended church from a young age with her parents and siblings. She accepted Christ as her savior at a young age after watching a Billy Graham crusade on television. After graduating high school in Iowa, she moved to southern California and attended Vanguard University on a music scholarship. She graduated with a Bachelors degree in Liberal Arts and later with a Master’s in Elementary Education. Since college, Jane has been involved in music ministry of some sort and has ministered all over the United States, China and Portugal. She has lead and been a part of worship teams/bands in local church settings for the last 15 years. Currently she is the worship leader at her church in Mesa, AZ. Jane and Tim have been married for 12 years and she enjoys spending time with her husband and her three daughters. The following are the questions and answers from Jane asked in her interview. The questions asked are followed by the quoted answers given by the author’s spouse. Seminary Experience Do you have any questions about my calling and where you think the Lord is leading me? “No.” Are you willing to join me on this journey? “Yes.” What concerns do you have about my calling to seminary and ministry? “None, really.” Personal Strengths 9 What are my strengths as a husband? “You are a servant, you put family first and you listen to the Holy Spirit.” “You also have a good sense of time management, are a hard worker who is steady and can operate on a limited amount of sleep—to that I’m thankful.” How can I improve these strengths? “The thing I see the most, is having a timely and prompt follow through on things that I need from you like tasks and things around the house overall.” How do you think these strengths will help me as a student? “Your characteristic of a hard worker and ability to listen to the Holy Spirit will help you the most.” Personal Weaknesses What are my weaknesses as a husband? “You like to do things at the last minute if you are not motivated to do it and you can become self consumed when on a task such as school work.” You also can become easily anxious. You’re anxiety increases the stress in our household which in turns affects us a couple and family.” How can I limit my weaknesses? The best thing I can think of is better planning and communication with me and others.” What area do you think is my weakest area in regards to my personal spiritual formation? “I can’t think of anything.” How would describe the following: My understanding of the Bible/Theology? “Its very strong.” My relationship with God? “Its good too.” My relationship with others in the church? “This would be greatest area for improvement and would describe it as growing.” My discipline to practice or carry out my faith in tangible ministry? “You have this down, you do this every day. It’s an active journey for you. You’re always doing it at work and in every aspect of your life.” How might these weaknesses prove detrimental to our seminary experience? “You can become isolated during your school work and somewhat detached from others around you.” Opportunities Stemming from Seminary 10 What area do you think is the weakest aspect of your spiritual formation? “Bible reading.” Your understanding of the Bible/Theology? “This is my weakest area. Always growing and increasing.” Your relationship with God? “Its authentic and real.” Your relationship with others in the church? “It’s great.” Your discipline to practice your faith in tangible ministry? “Happens on a daily basis, weekly. I’m involved because I’m the worship leader.” How can I assist you in the maturation of your weakness? “Encourage and ask me about my reading and daily devotions.” “And show an interest and inquire about what I am reading or studying.” What can I do to include you as my spouse on this seminary journey that I am starting? “Sharing what you are learning or have learned.” Based on your personality, how would you like me to go about challenging you as I am challenged through my education? “Share the knowledge and insights from your classes and reading.” Threats Stemming from Seminary What do you think will be the biggest challenges that we will face because of my pursuit of seminary? “Your lack of sleep and anxiousness will or can spill over into our family environment and in turn stress us out.” How would you recommend that I address these threats now in order to inoculate our marriage and family against these threats? “Plan ahead for homework and take of yourself. Trust in God for your work to get done.” Seminary Schedule 11 DSMN 500 D06 Module/Week 1 Times: Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday 7- 8AM Get kids Get kids Get kids ready Get kids Get kids Family Get kids ready for ready for for school ready for ready for Breakfast ready school school school school [Saturday for Tradition] Church 8-12PM Devotional Study/ Errands/ Study/ Errands/ Family Church/ Reading/ Course house chores/ Course House Recreation Ministr Course Reading Clean up Reading chores Time y Family Family Family Time Family Time Family Family Family Time Time Time Time Time/ Reading 12-2PM Lunch 2-3PM 3-5PM 5-6PM 6-7PM Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Work Read Course Course Course Materials Assignment Assignment Family Time Family Family Time Time Family Family Family Dinner Dinner Dinner Bible Study Date Night Family Home Dinner Time Group 8-9PM Work Work Work Work Work Work Kids/Spouse Bible Study Date Night Family Home Dinner Time Group Work Spouse Work 12 9-10PM 10-11PM Work Work Work Work Work Work Quality Quality Family Time w/ Time w/ Time with Spouse Spouse Spouse Quality Quality Family Time w/ Time w/ Time Spouse Spouse with Work Work Spouse 11-12PM Work Work Work Begin Course Course Course Writing Writing Work Writing 12-1AM Study/ Study/ Study/ Begin Course Course Begin Course Course Course Course Writing Writing Reading Reading Reading Reading Writing Next Module 1-7AM Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep Sleep Spiritual Formation Reflection Spouse’s Relational Formation Thus far in this paper much has been presented to inform about spiritual formation for spouses in a seminary environment. The author will utilize the three categories presented by Forest’s research to help aid in the spiritual formation of his spouse. The first area to address is 13 relational formation. During the author’s seminary experience he will make it a priority to share and communicate what he is learning during his course. He will engage in conversations with his wife about the topics he is writing and reading about. This in turn will help create a relational enhancement between himself and his wife. Currently, Jane is committed with her church as the worship leader and has a great group of friends for community support. The author will strive to make sure these relationships continue and thrive during his seminary experience to further the spiritual formation of his wife. Spouse’s Intellectual Formation In addition the author will make a plan to share with his wife what he learning and reading about to contribute to her intellectual formation. This will be an important factor to aid in his wife’s spiritual formation and keep her from being left behind as he develops from the seminary. The author will strive to keep the lines of communication open about his classes and assignments and also work keep himself from becoming anxious about the workload and schedule. Specifically, communication with his spouse will be the best way to do this. Spouse’s Practical formation. The author has found after this assignment that the practical formation will be the best way to help his spouse during his time in seminary. After interviewing his spouse, it was clear that her weakness is reading her Bible. Mixed with a busy schedule, taking care of kids, and ministry work, her quite times fall to the back in priorities. As the author is focused and committed to his studies, he in turn can help promote and encourage his wife to find the time to seek God in our own studies. The author agrees with his spouses’ answer regarding her relationship with God as authentic and real, and as a worship leader, she is plugged into the God’s Spirit and presence and its evident on Sunday mornings watching her lead the 14 congregation into Worship. Yet, the biblical formation that comes from quite time and practicing the other disciplines is a vital aspect to the seminary spouse. The author will encourage his spouse to find time to get with God not to just to worship, but to read and pray. He is confident he can encourage her to dig into his word for wisdom and strength to balance the many things life is throwing at her and them during their seminary experience. In addition to the practical aspect of enhancing the author’s spouse, he has made a plan to stay diligent in helping as much as he can with daily chores and things around the house. This is echoed by Mark McMinn, who discovered the two most important ways for husbands of ministry spouses could be help to their wives was by giving them “personal attention” and helping them “around the house.”20 He will also guard himself against becoming self consumed with school work and strive to live a balanced life of school and family. The author understands he will have achieved nothing by obtaining a seminary degree only to have left his family behind on the journey. Conclusion As Forest notes in his summary of findings, spouses of seminary students experienced a great deal of spiritual enhancements to their personal lives and faith. The spouses that he interviewed “experienced spiritual formation through a growth in their intellect and their ability to understand the theological message of spirituality”21 while their husbands engaged in seminary learning. He also noted that “a call to ministry is not a singular call, but one that is holistic and applies to the entire family of ministry.”22 For the seminary student who is on his journey while married, his ministry first and foremost is to his spouse. The seminary experience is the first 20 Mark McMinn, et al., “Care for Pastors: Learning from Clergy and Their Spouses.” Pastoral Psychology 53, no. 6 (2005), 575. 21 22 Forest, Seminary Spouses, 111. Ibid., 129. 15 steps to vocational ministry for the pastor and his wife. Steps need to be taken during seminary by the pastor to include his spouse in the experience. This will not only benefit him by having a spouse who feels loved and included on his journey. It will also play a vital role in the spiritual formation of his spouse. A healthy ministry that is successful and long lasting needs a healthy marriage behind it. The seminary experience is the place to implement the practice of spiritual formation and balanced living early in a marriage. 16 Bibliography Dahl, Carla M., Mary L. Jensen, and Jane L. McCampbell. “A Butterfly Effect: The Impact of Marriage and Family Therapy Training on Students’ Spouses.” Journal of Psychology and Theology 38, no. 1 (2010): 3-14. Forrest, Benjamin K. “Exploring the Spiritually Formative Experiences of Seminary Spouses: A Phenomenological Inquiry.” Ed.D. diss., Liberty University, 2013. Legako, Mikala A., and Randall L. Sorenson. “Christian Psychology Graduate School’s Impact on Marriage: Nonstudent Spouses Speak.” Journal of Psychology and Theology 28, no. 3 (2000): 212-220. McMinn, Mark R., R. Allen Lish, Pamela D. Trice, Alicia M. Root, Nicole Gilbert, and Adelene Yap. “Care for Pastors: Learning from Clergy and Their Spouses.” Pastoral Psychology 53, no. 6 (2005): 563-581.