Assertive
communication
behaviours
ASSERTIVENESS
•WHAT IS IT?
•HOW CAN IT HELP ME?
•WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?
ASSERTIVENESS
 Assertiveness is the
ability to
communicate your
needs, feelings,
opinions, and
beliefs in an open
and honest manner
without violating
the rights of others
ASSERTIVENESS
IS NOT THE SAME AS AGGRESSIVE
BEHAVIOR.
2. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR ENHANCES SELF
AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS.
3. ASSERTIVENESS PRODUCES POSITIVE
OUTCOMES FOR ALL; AGGRESSIVE ACTS
RESULT IN NEGATIVE OUTCOMES.
1.
WHAT WILL IT DO
HELPS YOU BECOME
SELF-CONFIDENT
2. INCREASES SELFESTEEM
3. GAIN RESPECT OF
OTHERS
4. IMPROVE
COMMUNICATION
SKILLS
5. IMPROVE DECISIONMAKING ABILITY
1.
HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
1. BE HONEST AND DIRECT ABOUT YOUR
FEELINGS, NEEDS, BELIEFS.
2. EXPRESS YOURSELF FIRMLY AND
DIRECTLY TO SPECIFIC INDIVIDUALS.
3. BE REASONABLE IN YOUR REQUESTS
HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
4. STATE YOUR VIEWPOINT WITHOUT BEING
HESITANT OR APOLOGETIC.
BE HONEST WHEN GIVING OR RECEIVING
FEEDBACK.
6. LEARN TO SAY “NO” TO UNREASONABLE
EXPECTATIONS.
7. PARAPHRASE WHAT OTHERS HAVE STATED
TO YOU.
5.
HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
8. REGOGNIZE AND RESPECT THE RIGHTS OF
THOSE AROUND YOU.
9. USE APPROPRIATE TONE OF VOICE.
10. BE AWARE OF BODY POSTURE/LANGUAGE
11. MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.
12. USE “I” STATEMENTS TO EXPRESS SELF
HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
13. DON’T LET OTHERS
IMPOSE THEIR
VALUES/IDEAS ON
YOU
14. ENCOURAGE
OTHERS TO BE
CLEAR AND DIRECT
15. TAKE OWNERSHIP
AND MY RIGHTS ARE…
1. The right to respect myself because of
2.
3.
4.
5.
who I am.
How to lead my life…pursuing goals,
dreams, etc.
Have my own values, beliefs, etc.
To tell others how I wish to be treated.
To change my mind and make mistakes
without being ridiculed.
AND MY RIGHTS ARE…
6. TO HAVE POSITIVE, HEALTHY,
SATISFYING RELATIONSHIPS IN WHICH I
AM SAFE AND RESPECTED.
7. TO CHANGE AND DEVELOP MY LIFE
HOW I DETERMINE.
8. TO BE HAPPY AND AT PEACE.
ASSERTIVENESS
DOESN’T JUST
HAPPEN.
2. DOES NOT
GUARANTEE YOU
HAPPINESS OR FAIR
TREATMENT.
3. WILL NOT SOLVE ALL
YOUR PROBLEMS
4. DOES NOT
GUARANTEEE YOU
WILL GET WHAT YOU
WANT.
1.
Introductory activity
 Don’t feel like a fish out of water.

 Learn to be assertive. It is a skill just like any other — like
playing golf or learning to fly.
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Communication skills
 Effective communication is essential to the successful
completion of workplace tasks.
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Topic 2
 Communication styles
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Personal conflict
 Should I jump?
 Should I jump?
 Oh my, what should I do?
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Involving others
 We WILL do it my way!!!
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Assertion
 ‘Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!’

(Shakti Gawain)
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Passive behaviour
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Aggressive Behaviour
 ‘The basic difference between being assertive and being
aggressive is how our words and behaviour affect the rights
and well being of others.’

(Sharon Anthony Bower)
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Circle of concern and influence
Circle of concern
Things I truly
cannot
control
Circle of
influence
Things I can
control
Things I think
I cannot
control
Things about
which I care
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Learn to be assertive
 Learn how and when to say no!
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 I can hide my head in the sand if I want to, you know.
 Assertive people, however, do not hide their heads.
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Listening
 What?

 What did you say?
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Questions
 ‘The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions.’


(John A. Simone, Sr)
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Topic 4
 Non-verbal communication
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Non-verbals
 ‘Get in touch with the way the other person feels. Feelings are
55% body language, 38% tone and 7% words.’

(Unknown)
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Voice tone
 Can you hear paralanguage?
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Topic 5
 Negotiation
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Negotiation
 ‘Joint undertakings stand a better chance when they benefit
both sides.’


(Euripides)
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Negotiation techniques
 When negotiating, plan and be prepared.
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Reaching agreement
 Come on, we can work together!
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