A Thumbnail Guide to CMM
Jonathan Shailor
The Goal: To use these practical concepts in service of personal and social evolution: creating
relationships, selves, and social worlds informed by wisdom and compassion.
STARTING POINTS: Begin by identifying an issue, a relationship, or a situation that is perplexing,
painful, or worrisome. Think about the problem in terms of the conversations and the stories
where it comes to life. Then employ one or more of the following practical concepts in order to
gain insight, and develop greater compassion for yourself and others.
The Daisy Model helps us to take some “thing” in our life and to see its place in a complex web
of conversations and relationships (call these “petals”).
Which petals are receiving the most attention from you?
Which petals need more attention?
Which petals are withering, and should be allowed to drop away?
Which petals are unhealthy, and may need to be pruned?
Which petals can you imagine adding?
The Hierarchy Model of Meanings/Stories can be used to name the highest level context out of
which we and others are acting.
Reflect on a repeating conversational pattern that you would like to change.
What is (are) your highest level context(s) that guide your actions in this interaction?
How might things be different if you shifted to a new (different) highest level of context?
Using this new highest level context as your guide, consider new ways of responding.
The Serpentine Model is a way of describing a sequence of actions through time and the ways
that each act elicits a particular response from the participants (Pearce, 52). * The concept of
Logical Force helps us to understand what is happening when we feel we must -or must not perform an action in response to what came before. We examine how our highest level of
context compels us to act this way. * The concept of Bifurcation Points calls our attention to
“conversational turns in the road”: places in a conversation where a particular choice of
interpretation or action affects the unfolding pattern of interaction and takes it in a different
direction.
Map out a turn-by-turn summary of a difficult conversation.
For each turn at talk, make a note on what it means to each participant in the
conversation.
Reflect on ways that the Logical Forces at play in this conversation may compel one or
more participants to perform certain actions, even when the consequences of
those actions are undesired.
Look for possible Bifurcation Points in the conversation, and consider what might happen
at those junctures if you chose to respond differently, and/or make a new
(different) interpretation.
The LUUUUTT Model (Stories Lived, Unknown Stories, Untold Stories, Unheard Stories,
Untellable Stories, Stories Told, Storytelling). This model is used to explore the gaps between
the lived and told stories, stories that are privileged, stories that are underdeveloped or eerily
silent, and the manner of storytelling. The model is used to enrich and expand the stories you
and others tell…” (Pearce, 55). We are also encouraged to consider the ways these stories
function, and how they affect us.
What are the stories that you and others tell about this situation?
What are some of the characteristics of these stories?
Who is the storyteller?
What is their body language is they tell the story?
Is the story rich and complex, or simple and straightforward?
Is the story open and ambiguous, or closed, expressing certainty?
In the story, how are people and events characterized?
In the story, how is praise and blame, cause and effect assigned?
What beliefs and values are expressed in the story?
How does the story function – what does it create? What does it call for people
to do?
What stories have not been told? Who holds these stories? Why are they being held
back? What might happen if they were shared?
What stories are untellable – too painful or risky to tell? What might happen if they
were shared?
What stories have been expressed, but not responded to? What can help us to
understand the lack of response?
What new (richer, more hopeful or uplifting, more practical, more inclusive, more
healing or beneficial) stories can you imagine? If you were to tell those stories,
and live into them, what might happen?
Note: This outline makes use of practical concepts from the Theory of the Coordinated
Management of Meaning (CMM), created by Barnett Pearce and Vernon Cronen in the 1970’s,
and developed further by them and their colleagues in the ensuing decades. One of the more
recent and beautiful expressions of this theory is in Compassionate Communicating: Poetry,
Prose & Practices, by Kimberly Pearce (CMM Institute for Personal and Social Evolution, and
Lulu Enterprises, Inc., 2012).
May your use of these tools help us all to live good lives…
A good life is…
Dancing together, stepping out and making room for one another
Moving gracefully, with curiosity and compassion
Telling stories with kindness and humor
Making beautiful patterns together
Mindfully living into and out of the stories we tell
Watching them dissolve in time….
And finally, resting peacefully with the satisfaction of a job well done.
~
Jonathan Shailor