Natalia Kolganova
Prof. Lydia Gardner
HUC 108.1252
Date: 10/10/2007
Conflict and Negotiation Style Assessments
Can you count how many times you were in any kind of a conflict situation? I am sure it
has not been just once or twice. Conflict is a natural process that takes place when people’s
opinions do not match due to certain reasons – differences in cultural values, personal or
religious believes, characters, political views or anything else. We argue with our parents,
friends, coworker, managers; we can be in conflict even within ourselves, but this is an entire
different topic. Of course, we have to try avoiding conflict situations as much as possible.
However, when it is obvious that a conflict is inevitable, it is necessary to know how to manage
it. I must admit that I have a lot of problems in this sphere. More over, I believe that conflict is
the biggest obstacle for me in the process of communication.
One of the things that I believe can be the reason why I am having difficulties managing
conflict situations is the way I was raised. I remember arguing with my father a lot, and every
time it looked like a cockfight because none of us ever gave up. Some of our fights were so
severe that we did not talk for months. The more fought, the stronger was my willingness to
prove to him and the entire world that, maybe, I wasn’t always right, but I was never wrong. This
problem continued on through the high school where I used to drive teachers crazy in my
aggressive attempts to prove my point of view. When I went to college, things got a little better,
probably, because I became more mature or simply respected professors too much to argue with
them. However, the real examination of my proper behavior in a conflict situation started when I
began to work in a restaurant as a bartender. That was the time for me to reconsider the way I
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conducted myself. I stepped into the professional world where I had to deal not only with
customers, but also with other employees and, unfortunately, the manager.
When trying to recall all the kinds of conflict situations I have had in the workplace, I can
remember having problems just twice with my coworkers, but it is impossible to count the
number of fights with my manager. Therefore, I have a lot of experience to rely on in order to
evaluate my conflict style. First of all, I would like to draw the line between the situations in
which I believe my opinion is right and the situations when I know that I am wrong. Regarding
the former, the conflict usually turns into a disaster. I fight like a lion for my ideas and refuse to
give them up, no matter what. I do not care if it can create unpleasantness for me or even get me
into trouble. Despite of the fact that I realize that sometimes I go too far, I just can not resign
myself to unfairness. All these factors demonstrate that my preferred conflict style is
“competition”, and my answers to the statements offered in the assignment completely support it.
However, if we are taking about the situations when I am wrong, my style shifts to
“collaboration”. I never mean to hurt people’s feelings, but if that happens incidentally, I
definitely apologize in the first place and do everything possible to reduce the tension. In some
delicate situations when personal issues might be involved, I am always more concerned with the
way people feel rather than resolving the conflict.
Regarding my negotiation style profile, the results in the worksheet show that I widely
use three out of four styles. The style that I use the less is “analytical”, and I understand why. I
am an extremely sensitive person; therefore, I get very emotional in the majority of situations.
Not analyzing things carefully, I rely on my feelings. Sometimes I make rash decisions without
paying attention to all the pros and cons. In contrast, the style that I got the highest score in is
“normative”. As I have already mentioned, while interacting with others, I try to be very cautious
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of their needs and feelings and take into consideration what is going on between people. I have to
admit that sometimes I am too nice to people, and they try to take advantage of me. For example,
my coworker often asks me to fill in for him at work. Usually, his reason is that he is not feeling
well or he has an emergency. Though I know that in most cases he is lying and he just wants to
take off, I never say “No”. One of my basic rules is “If I can help, why should I not?” I would
also like to mention that I am a very down-to-earth person. I try to stay realistic in any situation
instead of daydreaming.
In conclusion, I must say that this assignment was a little confusing for me. While going
through the evaluation sheet, I spent a lot of time on almost every statement. The reason is that I
find my self in a period of transformation. As I learn the rules of professional communication, I
continue to realize what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong. Therefore, I try to pay
more attention to my behavior. I try to analyze all the decisions that I make and all the steps that
I take. Looking back at my mistakes, I try to make sure I will never make them again. I know
that my greatest problem is being extremely sensitive and letting my feelings and emotions
control me. It is very hard to change personality traits, but if I want to succeed in the professional
world, I have to find a way to accomplish that.
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