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Molly Tenenbaum
English 102
March 10, 2014
Human Connection: The Journey
“And now she knows it is childish and impossible but she is waiting…Her heart feels
diaphanous…her breath caged in her chest…She senses her feelings for Han contracting,
retreating to a locked distant star within her center” (Abu-Jaber 179).
Diana Abu-Jaber writes Crescent, a book filled with personal journeys, that take
characters from fragmented to complete, half to whole, broken to strong. Abu-Jaber
incorporates the need for a character to connect to the human community so they feel they are
part of something bigger, and to have a future to look forward to. In this book about the
journey of relationships, Abu-Jaber shows that connecting to different communities can make a
character whole.
Of all the characters in Crescent, the one that experiences the most remarkable
metamorphosis by searching out connections is Sirine. She is introduced as a 39 year old
woman, living with her Uncle and single. With that kind of introduction it poses the question,
“Does Sirine connect to others in a deep emotional way?”
Sirine is searching for a community that will fill in her emotional holes. We get to know
Sirine’s character and find out that she has an Arabic father and an American mother who died
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when she was nine. We also find out that she started blocking out her feelings of love and want
for her parents before they died. Sirine says,” I remember asking my uncle almost every
morning: ‘Is this the day they come home?’…And then one day I stopped. I got up and made us
breakfast and forgot to ask if this was the day. And it was such a relief that I kept on
forgetting…” (163). Forgetting is a way for Sirine to lock away the pain and avoid dealing with
her feelings. By shutting off emotionally Sirine is protecting herself from the disappointment
and hurt that can happen when you are connected to someone you love so deeply.
After learning some of Sirine’s romantic history we can surmise that she continues to
stay shut-off emotionally from others in her adult relationships, when there is a risk of getting
hurt. Abu-Jaber writes, “The memories of all her past boyfriends are so faded it is as if a magic
page had lifted and the tracings of their faces disappeared” (40). Sirine keeps blocking out the
emotional connection with others; especially intimate relationships with men. The community
of her immediate family was ripped away from her at such a young age that she stopped
connecting to others at a deep level and as a result, Sirine is afraid to love and risk losing that
love well into her adult years.
Another emotional hole for Sirine is the feeling that she is in between cultures. She’s
grown up American yet has an Arab community around her. She is half Iraqi descent which
means she most likely would have dark features yet she has pale skin, green eyes and whiteblonde hair. The contrast of dark and light can cause feelings of unrest, ostracism and
unwelcome attention in a social environment. When Khoorosh, the Persian store keeper first
sees Sirine at the café, he blurts out, “Well look at what Iraq has managed to produce!” (23).
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Sirine is a Northern European/American looking woman who lives and works with Middle
Eastern people and may not be viewed as part of that community. The emotions associated
with not belonging to a community can create another layer of disconnect.
The community that Sirine appears to connect with is the community at Nadia’s Café.
Abu-Jaber writes, “…when she moved to Nadia’s Café…She felt as if she were returning to her
parents’ tiny kitchen and her earliest memories” (22). Sirine has her closest relationships at
Nadia’s Café where she gets advice from Um-Nadia, Victor and Mireille at times. Um-Nadia
treats Sirine like her own daughter and when Sirine is upset, happy or indifferent Um-Nadia can
immediately sense it and will support Sirine through the moments. Um-Nadia is talking about
true love when she says, “Okay, Habeebti, all right. Listen to me, let me advise you in this, there
is no mystery…What it is up to the woman to do… is to learn her man up and down…You have
to pay attention, Habeebti. He will show himself” (91). Sometimes Um-Nadia will give Sirine
advice, read her coffee grounds or simply crack a joke. All of that interaction and support is
what Sirine needs to work through her emotional pain.
Even though the community of Nadia’s Café offers a supportive place for Sirine, she is
still shut-off from building new relationships: relationships that may risk losing love. When
Sirine is working she is always behind the counter looking “past the hood of the heat lamp,
watching customers fill the tables,” (24). Sirine is shutting herself out from experiencing new
connections to the human community by seldom venturing out of her safe kitchen. When
people want to connect with her they show up at the back door of the kitchen to find her.
When they do show up, Sirine sees them as dark and fuzzy images until they reveal themselves.
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I interpret the fuzziness as a filter working to shut out the visitor. If Sirine does not see the
person clearly, maybe they will go away and she will be free of dealing with them. It seems that
the Café community is safe when it is in the confines of the kitchen with the people that are
always there to support her.
Sirine starts to search out deeper emotional connections to communities when she
realizes that her feelings for Han are very strong. A moment of reaching out happens when
Sirine cooks knaffea and serves it to Han at the café. “Sirine hits her bell and waits for Mireille
to pick up; when she doesn’t, Sirine comes out from behind the counter to bring Han the plate
of knaffea herself, “ Abu-Jaber writes, “Mireille and Victor stop talking and Um-Nadia and the
customers look up to see this break in precedent…” (43). Sirine never serves customers, so, for
everyone to view her out from behind the counter is a big step out of her comfort zone. Sirine
takes a chance on intentionally approaching Han: she takes a risk that Han will want to see her.
Han is receptive to Sirine and her knaffea. When the conversation turns to talking about what
Sirine thinks about love, Mireille says offhandedly, “like Sirine knows about love” (44). Sirine is
upset by Mireille’s comment which insinuates that she knows nothing about love. Deep down
in her heart she knows that there is some truth to it. Even though Sirine has had boyfriends,
none of them lasted for any considerable length of time and Sirine knows that they were
shallow relationships. Abu-Jaber writes, “She’s never broken up with anyone, she just loses
track of them, adding new men as she goes” (40). These relationships did not mean enough to
Sirine to require any closure because Sirine never let herself become connected to these men.
Another reader may think that if the feeling was strong enough, the connection will naturally
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happen. Although this idea may hold some truth, for most of us, even if a relationship is not
true love, an intimate relationship has enough of an emotional connection that it would require
a sense of closure. Once again Sirine retreats to the back of the kitchen to cook in her safe
environment, disconnected from the café community.
As the story continues, Sirine’s feelings push her to find out more about Han and his
communities by searching his apartment for any clues or information about his world, and
going with Mireille to the University to observe Han teaching. When Sirine finds the letter from
a woman in Bagdad and photo of the girl, she wonders if Han has a family back in Bagdad. She
must ask herself if she will continue to explore this relationship and risk the potential pain that
comes with a commitment to love.
As we read Crescent, It becomes clear that loving relationships and strong social
connections are imperative to becoming a whole person and for general happiness. This
Emotional Life states, “Relationships create psychological space and safety so that we can
explore and learn…We are able to explore our world, which builds resources for times of stress
and adversity” (PBS.org). Sirine gets some of what she needs from the café community but she
remains shut off emotionally. Her love for Han pushes her to do things that make her realize
what she cares about. On their last night together, before Han leaves Sirine, she whispers in his
ear while he is sleeping, “It will be all right, Habeebi, it will all be fine….We’ll love each other,
we’ll get married and be happy…We’ll be together and it will finally be all right” (334). After
exploring and understanding Han’s history and community ties, Sirine can finally commit to
building something with Han for a long term connection to finally become whole.
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Works Cited
Abu-Jaber, Diana. Crescent. New York: W. W. Norton and Company, 2004. Print
NOVA/WGBH Science Unit and Vulcan Productions, Inc. This Emotional Life. Connection & Happiness.
PBS.org. n.d. Web. 10 Mar. 2014.