The Difference Between an Acquaintance and a Friend
Comparison and Contrast Essay
By Jennie Fischer
“Hi Karen.”
“Hey, how you doing?”
“Fine, you?”
“Good, thanks.” – This is the type of conversation I’d have when I pass an
acquaintance on the sidewalk or in the hallway.
“Hey Sarah. How was your weekend?”
“Awesome. Guess what happened at the dance Saturday! We got there around
11…”- When I see friends of mine, we instantly go into detail and description.
We’re interested in what happened to each other in the other’s absence. We
choose to hold onto and brand in our memory those who loved, trusted and
confided in us. They are the difference between an acquaintance and a friend.
Every day I meet new people, and every day I have the chance to
strengthen bonds with people I’ve begun to know. The way I mentally keep track
of those I want to know better, and those who might possibly be a waste of time
in the end are by comparing everyday interactions.
An acquaintance will make small talk when they stop by or only really talk
to me when they need something from me that they know I have. They aren’t
looking to further deepen a friendship because they know I don’t hold the same
standards as they do, maybe I’m not interesting enough to them, or we possibly
just aren’t compatible.
Sometimes these types of people make me uncomfortable, and I won’t
know what to say to them outside of small talk. I haven’t shared any experiences
with them that we’re able to discuss to further the conversation. I need similar
experiences with people because they form a bond. If I have no similar
experiences to share, either the acquaintance or I look for other people because
small talk is only so small, and then it begins to run out. One of the best
examples is the fair-weather-friend syndrome. It always seems to catch me at a
basketball game, or some sport outing where I’ll see an acquaintance. Since
neither one of us has any friends to sit by, we choose to endure the other’s
company until someone better comes along.
I would never go to acquaintances if I had a problem, because I don’t
know them well enough to judge adequately if the advice I’m given is worth
taking. His or her morals could be different than mine, and the advice could just
deepen the problem even more. A real friend has a more intimate, personal
aspect. I can trust the advice they give me and count on them for help.
A real friend is the type of person I could talk to for hours at a time and be
able to relate childhood experiences with or disclose the secret of a latest crush.
They would be patient enough to listen, and giving enough not to interrupt me or
try to stick in some experience of their own. They would be able to hear me out,
stand back, and say, “Ok. This is what I did when I was faced with this,” and
then tell me the advantages and disadvantages that came with the choices they
made.
Friends will let me come into their room and flop down on the bed, eat out
of the fridge or take a juice drink, read their magazines (which I don’t subscribe
to), spend all night talking with me if we can’t fall asleep, go running/walking
just because we feel like it, or take a road trip to no where. I couldn’t depend on
acquaintances because they usually find something they like to do better and
decide I’m not worth the time.
One of the greatest things I appreciate in a real friend is the fact that
he/she will listen to my problems and not laugh or give me half of his/her
attention. They will be focused on me until I’m done hashing out whatever it is
that is frustrating, hurting or annoying me. They care enough about me to be
concerned when I’m not happy. If I try to get serious with a friend, they usually
wander off or the situation will be directed towards some other subject.
The part where real friends really come in to play is when I honestly love
them. I can hug them, and they won’t shy away or half-hug me back. One of the
things I hate about acquaintances is the stiff hug. We embrace each other, but the
only thing that touches is our shoulders. Our backs remain perfectly straight.
Friends give me a full hug and sometimes hold me longer if there’s a problem. I
can smile at them, and they know I’m wishing them a good morning or just
trying to brighten their day. It’s hard to really love people, because everyone has
different ways of showing love. There’s always the conception that people will
take it the wrong way. I know I will always have the person in my life that I can
tell, “I love you.” to and they are able to say it back because they mean it and feel
it too.
People will always dash in and out of our lives, but real friends are the
ones we should hold onto and fight for and stand by no matter what. They have
shown us they are for us even when everyone else is against us, and they are the
kind of people who will stick with us to the end. They are able to put me ahead
of themselves. They are the ones who know me and still love me.