Presented by Jason Sackett, LCSW
USC Center for Work and Family Life
1
Never to give out personal information such as your name, home address, school name, or telephone number in a chat room or on bulletin boards.
Also, never send a picture of yourself to someone you chat with on the computer without your parent's permission.
Never write to someone who has made you feel uncomfortable or scared.
Do not meet someone or have them visit you without the permission of your parents.
Tell your parents right away if you read anything on the Internet that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Remember that people online may not be who they say they are. Someone who says that "she" is a "12-year-old girl" could really be an older man.
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
2
Chat Rooms/ My Space
Inappropriate E-mail
Text Messages
Adult Content
Excessive Use/ Computer Addiction
Wireless or remote use
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
3
Your teen defines a problem
Complaints from others
You find something
Functional decline
Negative consequences
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
4
Restriction from use
Parental Controls/ Blocks
Deterrents
Spying
Communication/ Relationship Building
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
5
Advantage
No Risk
Disadvantages
No Benefit
Restriction might not work
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
6
Advantage
can keep out inappropriate web sites
Disadvantages
do not prevent inappropriate communication via email, text messages can only be applied to your own equipment
can foster false sense of security
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
7
Promise of consequences
“ If I find out you ’ re using e-mail or the internet inappropriately, I ’ m taking your computer.
”
Logs/ Registries
“ I have set up a log that will tell me every web site ever visited by this computer.
”
No-privacy policy
“ I reserve the right to inspect any e-mail or log of web sites visited at any time, and will do this at random times.
”
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
8
Advantages
can catch inappropriate behavior and prevent harmful situations
Disadvantages creates trust problems
what do you do with the information if you find it? kids can out-smart us
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
9
Being clear about your own goals
What will you do with the information?
Creating communication to gain information and ultimately punish will not work
Limiting preaching and prying
“Why?” questions
Re-thinking disciplinary policies
Immunity for testimony
Natural consequences vs. authority
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
10
Waiting
Being alert to complaints, concerns, and passive invitations for discussion
Seizing these before the window closes
Listening techniques
The “ Columbo ” approach
Neutrality
Reinforcing expression and dialogue
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
11
Expressing concerns vs. giving orders
Acknowledging your child ’ s control
“ I can ’ t make you listen to me. In the end, you are going to decide for yourself what you will do.
”
“ Do you want to hear what I have to say about this?
”
Focusing on his/her goals
Leaving the door open
Reinforcing conversation
Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006
USC Center for Work and Family Life
(213) 821-0800
12