Keeping Your Kids Safe On-Line Presented by Jason Sackett, LCSW

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Keeping Your Kids Safe

On-Line

Presented by Jason Sackett, LCSW

USC Center for Work and Family Life

1

The FBI Tells Kids …

Never to give out personal information such as your name, home address, school name, or telephone number in a chat room or on bulletin boards.

Also, never send a picture of yourself to someone you chat with on the computer without your parent's permission.

Never write to someone who has made you feel uncomfortable or scared.

Do not meet someone or have them visit you without the permission of your parents.

Tell your parents right away if you read anything on the Internet that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Remember that people online may not be who they say they are. Someone who says that "she" is a "12-year-old girl" could really be an older man.

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

2

Problems On-Line

Chat Rooms/ My Space

Inappropriate E-mail

Text Messages

Adult Content

Excessive Use/ Computer Addiction

Wireless or remote use

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

3

When Should Parents Be

Concerned?

Your teen defines a problem

Complaints from others

You find something

Functional decline

Negative consequences

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

4

Techniques to Promote Safety

Restriction from use

Parental Controls/ Blocks

Deterrents

Spying

Communication/ Relationship Building

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

5

Restriction

Advantage

No Risk

Disadvantages

No Benefit

Restriction might not work

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

6

Parental Controls

Advantage

 can keep out inappropriate web sites

Disadvantages

 do not prevent inappropriate communication via email, text messages can only be applied to your own equipment

 can foster false sense of security

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

7

Deterrents

Promise of consequences

“ If I find out you ’ re using e-mail or the internet inappropriately, I ’ m taking your computer.

Logs/ Registries

“ I have set up a log that will tell me every web site ever visited by this computer.

No-privacy policy

“ I reserve the right to inspect any e-mail or log of web sites visited at any time, and will do this at random times.

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

8

To Spy or Not to Spy?

(without prior notice)

Advantages

 can catch inappropriate behavior and prevent harmful situations

Disadvantages creates trust problems

 what do you do with the information if you find it? kids can out-smart us

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

9

Creating a “ communication friendly ” environment

Being clear about your own goals

What will you do with the information?

Creating communication to gain information and ultimately punish will not work

Limiting preaching and prying

 “Why?” questions

Re-thinking disciplinary policies

Immunity for testimony

Natural consequences vs. authority

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

10

Windows of Opportunity

Waiting

Being alert to complaints, concerns, and passive invitations for discussion

Seizing these before the window closes

Listening techniques

The “ Columbo ” approach

Neutrality

Reinforcing expression and dialogue

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

11

Giving Feedback

Expressing concerns vs. giving orders

Acknowledging your child ’ s control

“ I can ’ t make you listen to me. In the end, you are going to decide for yourself what you will do.

“ Do you want to hear what I have to say about this?

Focusing on his/her goals

Leaving the door open

Reinforcing conversation

Copyright Jason Sackett, LCSW 2006

USC Center for Work and Family Life

(213) 821-0800

12

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