Note that student work varies significantly from one assignment to the next, even within the
same mark range. The intent behind providing samples such as this one is to guide
students in recognizing key criteria of assignments and in assessing their own work.
SAMPLE ARGUMENT – SATISFACTORY
ESSAY QUESTION: Discuss the role of fantasy in Umberto Eco's novel, Baudolino.
N. B.: This argument would be the second of the essay.
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Strengths:
• The overall structure of the paragraph is clear (knowledge).
• Your spelling and grammar reflects evidence of editing (communication).
Tips for Improvement:
• Consider specific effects of pursuing fantasy as a way to add depth to the argument.
This argument is somewhat factual right now. While symbolism is mentioned, it
needs to be explained in greater detail (thinking).
• The mention to the lottery is unnecessary, as it is not directly related to the quotation
explanation. That kind of connection is better suited to reader response analysis
(thinking).
• Incorporate segments of quotations into explanations (thinking).
• Avoid phrases such as "this quotation shows". Focus on how characters and
circumstances function (thinking).
• Avoid use of first person. Keep the third person point of view (communication).
• Stay in active voice whenever possible (communication).
• Develop smooth lead-ins to quotations. The first lead-in is rather jumpy
(communication).
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Secondly, Baudolino's invention of the Grasal symbolizes his and his friend's
desire to escape reality. Through the Grasal, Baudolino creates something that was
nothing more than a dream before, but that his friends come to desire. His creation of the
Grasal from a simple bowl after his father's death can be seen in
On the ground he saw his father's bowl, and picked it up as a precious relic. He
washed it carefully, so that it wouldn't stink of wine, because, he told himself, if
one day it were said that this was the Grasal, after all the time that had gone by
since the Last Supper, it should no longer smell of anything, if not perhaps of
those aromas that, thinking this was the True Cup, all would surely perceive.
(275)
This quotation shows that the Grasal, because of Baudolino, becomes more than merely a
dream, the fantasy that he and his friends had hoped to find someday. The fictional
Grasal is clearly an illusion that Baudolino values. Many people get trapped into
believing things without having strong evidence. An example of this is the number of
people who plan on winning the lottery in order to retire even when the odds of winning
are low. Baudolino is able to convince his friends of the Grasal's power: "Frederick
devoutly enclosed the cup in a coffer, hanging the key around his neck, and Baudolino
thought that he himself had acted well, because at that instant he had the impression that
not only the Poet but all his other friends would have been ready to steal that object, to
rush towards their own personal dreams" (281). All of Baudolino's friends, as stated in
this quotation, view the Grasal as a powerful object. Baudolino's friends believe their
dreams will be fulfilled through the possession of the Grasal, and the Grasal becomes
their ultimate goal. Baudolino' s creation of the Grasal, therefore, can be seen to reflect
ambition of both Baudolino and his friends.
Work Cited
Eco, Umberto. Baudolino. Trans. William Weaver. New York: Harcourt Inc., 2002. Print.