UPPER GRAND
District School Board
530 Prospect Street, Box 430, Palmerston, ON, N0G 2P0 519-343-3520
2014-2015 Newsletter #4 December 1, 2014
During recent parent-teacher interviews, staff have had an opportunity to share information about next steps for children to continue learning and improving. If you have not had a chance to sit down with your child’s teacher and would like to do so, you are encouraged to make an appointment by calling the school.
As we transition into the winter season, we would like to remind our families of the importance of students dressing appropriately for the colder weather. Winter hats and mitts are strongly encouraged, as the winds can be quite strong on our yard and temperatures can change quickly. Students are expected to be outside during recess unless they are participating in an indoor activity at that time.
It is hard to believe that December is already here. Be sure to check the calendar so as not to miss any event. Our students from Kindergarten to Grade 5 will be presenting at the Christmas Concert this year.
Palmerston students will attend the dress rehearsal on December 15th at 11:15 a.m. There will be an afternoon performance for parents and families starting at 11:15 a.m. on December 16th. The evening performance will begin at 6:00 p.m. on December 16th. We hope to see you at one of our performances.
We are continuing with our Panda Pride Assemblies and Colour Teams throughout the year. Each
Panda Pride Assembly focuses on a different character trait every month. (Please note that the acronym spells
PALMERSTON!)
P articipation (September)
A ppreciation (October)
L eadership (November)
M otivation (December)
E ffort (January)
R espect (February)
S ervice (March)
T rustworthiness (April)
O ptimism (May)
N ature (June)

Colour Teams are involved in Winter Carnival Activities on December 17
Assembly with “motivation” as the theme will take place on December 19 th th and 18 th . The Panda Pride
. More information will be forthcoming.
We have been involved in numerous activities over the month of November that are helping to create a great sense of community. The Remembrance Day Assembly was well attended by many veterans from our community. The intermediate students visited Royal Terrace and had an excellent time. Students loved hearing stories from the past, with some students even participating in a game of cards. A group of students, along with Ms Horton and Ms Roberston, attended the Me-2-We Rally in Kitchener. Stay tuned for events organized by this group of enthusiastic social activists. Again, be sure to check our calendar for upcoming events.
The entire staff of Palmerston Public School would like to wish our families a wonderful holiday season.
Enjoy the time spent with your loved ones. We look forward to seeing you again in the new year!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Joyeux Noel et Bonne Annee!
Kindergarten registration will be held from February 2 – 6, 2015. If you have a child, or know of someone who has a child who was born in 2010 for Senior Kindergarten or 2011 for Junior Kindergarten, please have them call the school 519-343-3520 before December 19 th packages in January.
. We will be sending out registration
Friday, December 19 th is “Santa’s Workshop” . Wear red, green and white!
There will be a dance for the Grade 7 and 8 students on Friday, December 19 afternoon. th in the gym in the
As the weather gets colder, please consider the following “STAY WARM” tips:
∗ Send an extra pair of socks and mitts to school.
∗ Indoor shoes are required for gym and to keep the feet dry (halls and classroom floors do get wet from the snow).
∗ Snowpants, scarves, boots, warm coats, etc. help keep the children warm and dry, (students are encouraged to wear the outdoor clothes that parents send to school).
Each week our Lost and Found box grows with articles of clothing that seldom get claimed. Students are encouraged to look for lost items in the box. Parents are also welcome to have a look for lost items.

This is just a reminder that Christmas is a good time to replenish your child’s school supplies - pencils, erasers, etc. A calculator would make a good stocking stuffer as well.
1.
The buses will not go home early on days when the weather deteriorates during the day.
2.
When the buses do not run the students who have come to school will be dismissed at 3:00 p.m.
It has been decided that if the buses do not run on a Tuesday, Pizza Day will be on Wednesday .
The School Council has made a decision that on No Bus Days the Grilled Cheese and Hot Days will be cancelled and re-scheduled by School Council for an alternate date. Please send your child with a lunch on Hot
Dog or Grilled Cheese Days when the buses do not run.
It is that time of year again when the snow covers most of our school yard and our children get the opportunity to play in the snow. Please remind your child that our school has a “No Snowball” rule. Children caught throwing snow may be asked to stand up against the wall of the school for the duration of the recess or given a detention. It is important that we ensure the safety of all of our students. Our children also need to know that “No One Owns the Snow, But We Must Respect Others’ Work” so forts, blocks etc. do not become the focus of our students’ attention and protection. It would be appreciated if you could talk to your child about respecting others.

From December 8 th to 12 th , we as a school community will be collecting products to support our local food bank and toy distribution drive.
We would appreciate any support your family can bring to help others in our community have a joyous
Christmas season by bringing in the following items:
Monday, December 8 th - Paper products
Tuesday, December 9
Wednesday, December 10
Thursday, December 11
Friday, December 12 th th - Toys th th - Baby items (diapers, baby food, etc.)
- Canned and non-perishable food items
– Catch-up day
Please do not send food items that have reached their expiry date. The Food Bank cannot use food items that have expired.
The members of our Student Activity Club (SAC) will be gathering boxes to put the donations into and these will be on display in our foyer under the Christmas tree.
•
•
When it comes to our eating and being green, we know three things for sure:
Litterless is best.
A balanced meal is key to good health.
•
Using produce that is organic and/or locally grown is a great way to reduce our environmental footprint.
The more value we place on our food, the healthier we will be. Grow your own, pick your own, support local farmers, buy organic, choose sustainable, and eat more vegetarian meals. Buying food in its natural state reduces packaging and eliminates energy costs required in processing. You can make good choices and help reduce the amount of energy it takes to grow, package and ship food to your table.
Having a green lunch has a new meaning now that more and more people are becoming conscious about how their everyday habits impact the future of the Earth. Did you know: Every schoolchild creates an average of 30kg of garbage per year? That’s a lot of garbage every day that can easily be avoided. So when bringing a lunch to school remember to bring a balance of the four food groups - grains, dairy, meat or alternatives, fruit and vegetables. And be honest with yourself – eat the healthy items first! Also try to always bring a litterless lunch. Try putting your food in a lunch bag, in reusable lunch and snack containers like Tupperware or a thermos, and bring drinks in a reusable container like an aluminum water bottle.
A green lunch is healthy – for us and the planet! Let’s go green, everyone!

MONDAY
1
8
Paper Products
Day 2
Day 2
15 Day 2
Santa Grams for sale
Christmas Concert Dress
Rehearsal 11:15 am
TUESDAY
2 Day 3
Pizza Day
Int. volleyball game at
Drayton
9 Day 3
Toys
Pizza Day
Gr. 8 Girls HPV & Gr. 7
Meningitis
Harriston Packing Co. order pick-up 2:00 to 5:30 pm
16 Day 3
Christmas Concert 11:15 am & 6:00 pm
Pizza Day
Intermediate Volleyball
Tournament at Norwell
WEDNESDAY
3
Grilled Cheese
Day 4
10 Day 4
Baby items (diapers, baby food, etc.)
Santa Grams for sale
17 Day 4
Hot Dogs
Winter Carnival 11:30 am to 12:55 pm
THURSDAY
4 Day 5
Junior Volleyball
Tournament
11 Day 5
Canned goods & nonperishable food items
Santa Grams for sale
18 Day 5
Winter Carnival 11:30 am to 12:55 pm
FRIDAY
5 Day 1
12 Day 1
Pita Lunch
Gr. 3 trip to Wellington
County Museum
Santa Grams for sale
Last date to donate for food/toy drive
19 Day 1
Christmas Carol Sing-A-
Long 9:05 am
Santa’s Workshop – wear red, green & white
Gr. 7/8 Dance 1:35 pm

November 2014 Palmerston P. S.
In Spring 2014, Grade 3 and Grade 6 students in the Upper Grand District School Board participated in the
EQAO province wide testing. The tasks which the students are asked to perform are based on the expectations from the Ontario Curriculum for Language and Mathematics for grade 3 or grade 6.
Although provincial and board results are reported by the percentage of students achieving level 3 (B grade, meets the provincial standard) and level 4 (A grade, exceeds the provincial standard) combined, often it is useful to look at those students who achieved a level 2 result ( C grade, approaching the provincial standard.)
These three levels reflect students working in the average and above average ranges.
The charts below outline the percentage of students in the school, board and province who achieved a level 2,
3 or 4 on the EQAO evaluation.
Primary Years (Grade 3) Results
Reading Writing Mathematics
School
Board
82%
91%
94%
96%
96%
82%
93%
93% Province
Junior Years ( Grade 6) Results
93%
Reading
School 96%
Writing
98%
Mathematics
87%
Board 96% 96% 83%
Province 95% 96% 85%
Our goal as a school is to move our students working at a Level 2 to level 3 or 4 work. We are doing this by telling students our learning goals, and by giving them the success criteria so they know exactly what they need to do to complete level 3 or 4 work for assessment tasks. Teachers are also giving students specific and precise feedback to help them understand what they need to change or add to their assignment in order to improve it. Our focus as a school is to improve all students’ learning and achievement and to continually improve as teachers. Your support for our school community and the goal of “Be the Best You Can Be” “Fais
De Ton Mieux” is important and very much appreciated.

Everyday children go about their daily lives exploring and discovering things around them, and by doing so they’re exposed to the world of mathematics. And since mathematics has become increasingly important in this technological age, it is even more important for our children to learn math at home, as well as in school.
Attitude is Important
How do you as a parent feel about math? Your feelings will have an impact on how your children think about math and themselves as mathematicians. Take a few minutes to reflect on these questions:
Do you think everyone can learn math? Do you think of math as useful in everyday life? Do you believe that most jobs today require math skills?
If you answer "yes" to most of these questions, then you are probably encouraging your child to think mathematically. Positive attitudes about math are important for your child's success.
Mathematics as Problem Solving, Communication, and Reasoning
Helping your child learn to solve problems, to communicate mathematically, and to demonstrate reasoning abilities are fundamental to learning mathematics. These attributes will improve your child's understanding and interest in math concepts and thinking.
A problem solver is someone who questions, investigates, and explores solutions to problems. They stick with a problem to find a solution and understand that there may be different ways to arrive at an answer and attempt different ways to get there. You can encourage your child to be a good problem solver by involving him or her in family decision making using math.
To communicate mathematically means to use words, numbers, or mathematical symbols to explain situations; to talk about how you arrived at an answer; to listen to others' ways of thinking and perhaps alter their thinking; to use pictures to explain something; and to write about math, not just give an answer. You can help your child learn to communicate mathematically by asking your child to explain a math problem or answer. Ask your child to write about the process she or he used, or to draw a picture of how he or she arrived at an answer to a problem.
Reasoning ability means thinking logically, being able to see similarities and differences about math concepts in different domains and make choices based on those differences or similarities. You can encourage your child to explain his or her reasoning behind answers and encourage them to ask themselves, “Does this make sense?” As you listen, you will hear your child sharing his or her reasoning.
Look forward to next month’s newsletter more about how you can help you child/children further develop these attributes of a strong mathematician.

The National Council of Teachers of Mathematics has released an opinion statement on the use of calculators in the classroom. We should be embracing calculator use, and using these deliberately for instruction in the classroom from an early age. Maybe a great stocking stuffer? Here is the article from their website: http://www.nctm.org/tcm009/
Question
What is the role of calculators in the elementary grades?
NCTM Position
Calculators have an important role in supporting and advancing elementary mathematics learning. The benefits of their selective and strategic use are twofold. Calculators can promote the higher-order thinking and reasoning needed for problem solving in our information- and technology-based society, and they can also increase students’ understanding of and fluency with arithmetic operations, algorithms, and numerical relationships.
Although calculators—from simple four-function versions to programmable graphing models—are used routinely outside school for a variety of purposes, their specific use within the mathematics classroom must be selective and strategic, with attention to how such a tool will support and advance learning. More important, the use of calculators does not supplant the need for students to develop proficiency with efficient, accurate methods of mental and pencil-and-paper calculation and in making reasonable estimations. Emphasis and implementation are the critical issues—when and for what purposes should calculators be used in the elementary mathematics classroom?
In a review of 127 research studies on calculator use in K–12 classrooms, Ellington (2003) noted,
“Students received the most benefit when calculators had a pedagogical role in the classroom and were not just available for drill and practice or checking work” (p. 456). The key here is that their use was deliberate, tied to specific learning activities and outcomes. Ellington’s analyses found that students in classrooms where calculators were used strategically to support and advance learning, when compared with students in classrooms without such calculator use, performed at higher levels on measures of operational skills (a composite of procedural and conceptual knowledge) and problem-solving skills. In addition, students’ attitudes toward mathematics were more positive when calculators were a part of the learning process.
As Reys and Arbaugh (2005) assert, “When students are engaged in solving problems, formulating and applying strategies, and reflecting on results, a calculator is an important enabling tool” (p. 93). In this sense, the strategic use of calculators enables elementary students to engage in mathematically rich problems that involve recognizing and extending patterns, testing ideas, and exploring relationships, without getting caught up in the mechanics of rote computation.
As NCTM’s Technology Principle states, “Technology should not be used as a replacement for basic understandings and intuitions” (NCTM 2000, p. 25). The proper implementation of the Technology Principle depends on teachers’ creating approaches to classroom instruction that appropriately integrate the use of technology into lessons focused on the learning of mathematics.
(July 2011)

Like all professions, educators sometimes use language specific to teaching and learning. We often don’t even realize when we have slipped into using “edubabble”. On the Progress Report that has just come home, we have made every attempt to use language that is meaningful to parents. We want you to know and understand what we are doing at school, and how you can help support your child’s learning. Below are some of the terms you may have read on the Progress Report or hear at the Parent/Teacher interview.
• Learning Goal : A learning goal is a stated or written goal the teacher provides to help students know exactly where they’re heading in a lesson.
• Success Criteria : Success criteria often start with the words “I can ….”. Success Criteria lists what the student needs to do/accomplish for the lesson or unit of study.
• Descriptive Feedback: Descriptive feedback can be oral or written. It is provided by the teacher and offers the student information on how he/she is doing. Descriptive feedback lets students know what their next steps are and what they can do to improve.
• Guided Reading: Guided reading is small group learning where the teacher helps students practice and improve his/her reading skills. The instruction, strategies taught and reading material are carefully chosen to meet the needs of each student.
• Three-Part Problem-Solving : Three-part problem-solving is students learning mathematics and developing an understanding of mathematics through reasoning and working through a problem. It has
3 distinct stages:
1.
Before – Getting started or Minds On is introducing and practicing mathematical ideas and strategies that connect to the day’s learning goal.
2.
During – Learning or Action is solving the lesson’s problem in pairs, small groups or individually. The students develop their knowledge, thinking and strategies while the teacher pushes and guides their learning using questioning and feedback.
3.
After - (a) Consolidation is a whole-class discussion where the teacher and the class analyze the solutions the students came up with to the problem. Together they highlight key mathematical ideas and strategies.
(b) Independent Practice is the students solving a problem(s) similar to the lesson to practice the same skills and try out the new ideas.
Adapted from:
“A Guide to Effective Instruction in Mathematics, Problem Solving and Communication, K-6”’
“Bansho (Board Writing)”, Capacity Building Series, 2011
“Communication in the Mathematics Classroom”, Capacity Building Series, 2010
“Early Reading Strategy, The Report of the Expert Panel on Early Reading in Ontario”, 2003
“Grand Conversations in the Junior Classroom”, Capacity Building Series, 2011
“Growing Success, Assessment, Evaluation and Reporting in Ontario”, 2010
“Making Room for Talking to Learn”, Adolescent Literacy: Engaging Research and Teaching, Literacy Gains Alert, 2012

An Individual Education Plan, or IEP, is “a written plan describing the special education program and/or services required by a particular student.” (Ontario Ministry of Education, Individual Education
Plans: Standards for Development, Program Planning, and Implementation , 2000, p. 3). IEPs can be developed for exceptional students (as identified by an Identification Placement and Review Committee), or based on student need, regardless of identification. IEPs can address academic and behavioural learning needs; they are written by teachers in consultation with parents, as well as students, where appropriate.
All IEPs must include a student profile which identifies the child’s name, their date of birth, teacher’s name, grade, class placement (if applicable), relevant assessment information, relevant medical diagnoses, as well as their strengths and needs (Ontario Ministry of Education, 2000, p. 6). IEPs including modified or alternative expectations must include annual program goals .
IEPs must also list any accommodations that are required for the student to learn. Accommodations can be environmental (e.g., a quiet place, a special chair), instructional (e.g., reading instructions aloud, breaking tasks down into shorter steps and chunks), and for assessment (e.g., allow oral responses, allow more time on tests). Some accommodations are offered to all students (e.g., use of graphic organizers), however, they are essential for a student if listed on the IEP.
Modified and alternative IEPs include goals for each semester. Modified goals can be goals from a different grade curriculum (e.g., for a child in grade 4 who is reading at a grade 1 level), or can be at grade level (i.e., when a child can do some grade level work but is completing fewer or less complex expectations).
Alternative IEPs can address behavioural goals and life skills. Report cards for children with alternative or modified IEPs are based on the IEP expectations and goals.
For more information about IEPs please speak to your child’s teacher, principal, or consult the following websites:
The IEP Process: http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/general/elemsec/speced/individu.html
I.
The Individual Education Plan (IEP), A Resource Guide (2004): http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/general/elemsec/speced/guide/resource/
People for Education: Special Education Tip Sheet http://www.peopleforeducation.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Special-Education.pdf

As a parent, the best thing you can do to help support your child’s learning is talk with him or her in the spoken language used at home . Talking helps build communication skills. These skills are transferable from one language to another. (Cummins, 1998)
When engaging with your child, consider the following:
• listen to a television program together and ask your child to share his/her thinking
• listen to music and ask your child why he/she thinks the artist wrote the song
• listen to the radio and ask your child to share his/her opinion about what is happening in the city and/or the world
• use a variety of words (i.e, friendly, kind, considerate)
• allow your child to hear you questioning what you see and hear around you
• talk out loud as you attempt to solve a problem
• tell your child a story about when you were little or tell him/her a story about something that happened at work that day and leave off the ending for him/her to provide
• ask your child to provide 3 things and make up a story that includes all three (example: a princess, a race car, and an ice cream cone)
• read aloud daily to your child, talk about the pictures, make predictions and see if they come true
• read to your child on vacation or during a long wait at the doctor’s office
• read a book to your child and ask him/her what he/she would do if he/she was the main character
• leave notes for your child in his/her lunch box or school bag
• ask your child to leave notes for you around the house
• have your child create a to-do list
• play word games such as Scrabble Junior and Boggle
• encourage your child to bring his/her writer’s notebook whenever he/she goes on family outings where there will be plenty to notice, wonder and write about
Parents who don’t know French can help their child learn French.

For many people, the holiday season is a joyous time, one that lifts, a time when we gather with family and friends to share traditions immersed in food, music, and gift-giving. We anticipate the excitement of children, and are often cast back into memories of childhood.
That is one version of the holidays. But it most certainly isn’t the story for most people. The holiday season is a very difficult time for many, many people.
In the two weeks before and after the holidays, suicide rates rise by 40%, couples are more likely to break up, depression worsens in adolescents and adults, and domestic violence rates peak. Financial pressures are felt at the holiday season. Substance use increases. People who suffer from depression or who are grieving the loss of a loved one often find the holiday season excruciating. Loneliness and isolation are felt acutely during the holiday season.
A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, some of you may have seen it making the rounds. I don’t know who the author is, so I cannot give credit, but I think it has an important message as we head into the holiday season.
Some thoughts as we enter the holiday season. It is important to remember that not everyone is surrounded by large wonderful families. Some of us have problems during the holidays and some of us are overcome with great sadness when we remember the loved ones who are not with us. And, many people have no one to spend these times with and are besieged by loneliness. We all need caring, loving thoughts right now. May I ask my friends…to give a moment of support for all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune.
For anyone, the pressure to ‘get it right’, to create a magical holiday season, and to indulge loved ones and fulfill dreams, can make one dread the season. For those who struggle with not enough time, energy, or money - which is most working families - the pressure can be intense. But it does not have to be that way. You can protect yourself and your family from undue stress at the holiday season.
1. Learn to say no: The holiday season offers an open invitation to overbook and run yourself ragged. Learn to say no to the things that you have neither the time nor energy for. Embrace those events that feed your soul and bring you comfort and enjoyment. But say no to those that will take more physical or emotional energy than you can spare. Learn to say, “I would enjoy this, but know I simply cannot do it at this time. Thank you.”
If yours is a blended family and your children have multiple homes to visit, reduce the number of other events even further; no matter how excited children and youth might be for the holiday season, they too only have so much room for multiple commitments. They will take their cues about self-care and stress management from you. Show them how to say no.
2. Adjust unrealistic expectations: Your children will not be scarred for life if you buy your tree from Canadian
Tire instead of hand-cutting it in the bush. A string of lights in the shape of a tree, twinkling on a living room wall can work just fine if need be. It is not about the tree. If these things bring you great joy and fit seamlessly into your life without adding stress, fine. But if not, don’t put pressure on yourself to do them. Instead, focus

on why you celebrate this season, on peaceful, quiet time with loved ones, and on finding some reflective time for yourself.
3. Make a list.
This is a time when a list can really help you set clear goals and limits. Make a list of all the preparations you would like to do. Then review the list and strike out all those things that are unrealistic, excessive, or that you probably won’t get around to. Take them off the list because leaving them there will add stress. Leave only those that are possible and will bring you joy. Then cut that list in half. Seriously.
Most importantly for your list, set a deadline after which your preparations are done. You might not have found that last perfect stocking stuffer, but your loved ones will have a calmer and happier you, and that will be the best gift of all.
4. Anticipate the hard parts.
Family tensions and difficult relationships are not magically healed at the holiday season. In fact, with all the pressure to have a good the holiday season, families are often on edge and at their worst.
If you can’t avoid difficult relationships, get creative. Plan an activity for the family – board games, a sport, or a long hike after dinner – to avoid the tensions that can arise sitting face-to-face. Keep the planned visits short and limit the alcohol, which can fuel emotions otherwise kept under wraps. A short the holiday season breakfast might work better than a dinner. Don’t be afraid to change it up.
5. Know your limits . Know your limits and ask people to respect them. You do not have to allow your (or others’) children to run wild if it exhausts them and everyone else. The family rules still apply. You also do not have to put up with ill-behaved relatives or friends, no matter what the season. Similarly, don’t put pressure on people to be joyous if they are not. We are all travelling different paths; you can’t always know what someone is dealing with.
If you have teens, be understanding. They often feel mixed feelings at this time, a combination of childlike excitement but also embarrassment about it. Protect them from the criticism of relatives, who often feel compelled to point out teens’ flaws to parents. And avoid the urge to nag if your adolescent flops on the couch like a boneless chicken, looking bored, disinterested in family activities. Be patient. Adolescence is temporary.
Avoid unhealthy forms of coping. Don’t short-change your sleep or eat or drink too much; it never helps. Exercise, rest, good nutrition, and self-acceptance do help. If you are someone who over-does it, ask yourself why. It is probably a response to stress.
6. Don’t be a slave to tradition.
This one is difficult, because we invest emotionally in our traditions. They connect us together with our spiritual, familial, and cultural histories. They are a source of comfort in troubled times and they can be a source of joy. But if traditions become rigid expectations, they become a source of pressure or anxiety if something happens and the tradition cannot be upheld. So remember that traditions are just markers of our values, our loves, and our lives, but are just markers – they can be changed, left out, or recreated anytime and it does not diminish us or the meaning of the holiday season.
7. Be kind to yourself and others . This is the most important of all. As you learn to set reasonable limits for yourself, others often object. That’s okay. They are just trying to manage their own expectations. Don’t give in, but be understanding of their confusion. And if someone disappoints you, reach inside your loving self for compassion and understanding. Maybe that person is experimenting with his or her own limits, or struggling to cope with too many demands, or is just another messy, imperfect human. Like you and I.

You can avoid the stress and pressure of the holiday season and instead increase your ability to experience some peace and enjoy your loved ones. The sites listed below provide tips and suggestions for destressing the season. Take a moment and read some of them.
Have a reasonable holiday season. Peace to all.
Dr. Lynn Woodford is the Mental Health and Addiction Lead for Upper Grand District School Board http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/keep-holiday-stress-minimum/ http://psychologytoday.com/blog/mindfulness-in-frantic-world/201112/the holiday season-stress-reliefmindful-ten-day-guide/ www.realsimple.com/holidays-entertaining/holidays/the holiday season/the-hectic-holiday-handbook/
Neuman, F. (2013) “Haunted by the Ghost of The holiday season Past,” Psychology Today.
Breitman, P & Hatch, C. (2000) “How to say no Without Feeling Guilty”, Broadway Books.
For children, youth and families who have experienced trauma, the National Child Traumatic Stress Network has some excellent resources on the holiday season and coping with grief, trauma and also economic stress. http://www.nctsn.org/resources/public-awareness/holiday-stress