Youth Suicide Prevention
Information for parents, caregivers,
and friends of suicidal youth
From the Youth Suicide Prevention Website
http://www.youthsuicide.ca/friends/friends.htm
Why do youth attempt suicide?
Unlike adults, youth do not have the ability to think
about life and life events in terms of the broader
perspective or "big picture". They tend to believe that
all of the unhappiness they are feeling and experiencing
will go on forever. Everything that is happening to them
is in the "here and now" and they can't begin to think
that there might be a brighter future just around the
corner.
They often don't believe that anyone can help them,
and they feel helpless and hopeless within their
situation. They believe that they can either choose to
live with the pain, or end it by ending their life.
Unfortunately their ultimate decision could be fatal.
Suicide is a permanent solution
to a temporary problem
The reasons for suicide are deep and long standing. The
teen that attempted suicide right after his girlfriend
broke up with him or the teen that contemplated suicide
after losing her job probably had a history of low selfworth that was magnified by the upsetting event.
Canadian Statistics
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Suicide is the second leading cause of death among
youth 10-24 after motor vehicle accidents
Between 70% and 80% of youth consider suicide before
graduation
Over 25,000 youth attempt suicide annually and over
250 complete
Adolescent males complete suicide 3 to 5 times more
often than adolescent females
Males typically use more lethal methods such as
hanging and firearms
Adolescent females are 4 to 7 times more likely to
attempt suicide than adolescent males
Females typically use drugs, poisons, or gases, slower
methods which increase the opportunity for the youth to
be found and intervention is more likely - recently
however, females have been choosing more lethal
methods
What is so stressful about being a youth?
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Trouble at home
Change in family dynamics
Balancing relationships with divorced/separated parents
Change of schools
Difficulties at school (may include bullying)
Relationship breakup
Social struggles
Balancing school, work, social life, and family
Environment that encourages drugs, alcohol, and sex
The natural separation from parents
Dating
Learning to accept themselves, their talents/abilities
Getting good grades for college/university
Getting a part-time job
Choosing a college/university or career
While there is no stereotypical
"suicidal type" the following risk
factors may increase the risk for
suicide in some youth...
Who’s at risk?
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Diagnosis of depression or other psychiatric disorder
Chronic or terminal illness
Previous suicide attempt
Family history of suicide
Recent suicide of family member, friend, classmate
History of sexual, physical, or verbal abuse
History of self injury
Engaged in risky or self-destructive behaviour (i.e.
smoking, dangerous driving, substance abuse,
unprotected sex)
Perfectionist
Low self-image, low self-esteem
Gay/lesbian youth - confusion around sexual orientation
Youth living on the street
Social isolation or neglect from family
A traumatic or recent loss (includes divorce)
First Nations
What do suicidal youth feel?
Youth who are contemplating suicide often feel
worthless, alone, unloved, unlovable, and they
may actually believe that they are a burden on
their parents. They feel misunderstood and
judged by their peers and by adults. They are
often ultra sensitive to criticism, scared to
make mistakes, and feel unable to cope. They
believe that these feelings will last forever and
that nobody can help them.
Warning Signs
Youth suicide and suicidal thoughts or behaviour might
seem like it appears out of the blue, but in reality, youth
almost always present prior warning signs. The
following signs could be clues that a youth might be
considering suicide.
Warning signs you might see:
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Signs of depression or feelings of hopelessness
Lack of interest or energy (or wild variations)
Changes in eating habits or sleep patterns
Loss of concern about personal appearance
Increase in anxiety or anxiety related illnesses (head
aches, stomach aches)
Any dramatic changes in behaviour, actions, or attitude
Being unusually quiet or unusually aggressive/angry
Dropping out of hobbies, sports, school, or job
Talking about death or cult figures who died by suicide
Preoccupation with death, dying, or suicide *
Expressing a preoccupation with death or suicide
*(creative writing, poetry, artwork)
Warning signs you might see
continued …
Making jokes about death or suicide *
 A sudden elated mood following a time of depression *
 A previous suicide attempt *
 Serious talk of suicide or making a plan *
 Engaging in risk taking behaviour (driving recklessly,
unsafe sex) *
 Increase in alcohol or drug use *
 Giving away prize possessions, saying good-bye, writing
a will, writing farewell letters *
(* Indicates the more serious warning signs)
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Warning signs you might hear:
Often a youth who is considering suicide will give clues
through their comments. If you hear a youth make
statements like these take them seriously.
 "Nothing ever goes right for me."
 "It'll all be over soon."
 "Whatever, nothing matters anyway."
 "I might as well kill myself"
 "I hate life" *
 "Everyone would be better off without me" *
 "I just can't take it anymore." *
 "I wish I was dead." *
* Indicates the more serious warning signs)
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Tips for providing support:
Do:
 LISTEN - don't give advice, make judgements, or
attempt to solve the problem - just listen
 Comment on the changes that you have noticed ("Lately
I've noticed that you have been spending a lot of time
alone in your room, is something bothering you?" - this
shows that you are concerned
 Take their problems seriously
 Send them the message that they are important to you,
you care about them, and you want to help.
Tips for providing support
continued …
Don't say:
 "Oh come on, things aren't that bad."
 "You have it good compared to ..."
 "Aren't you exaggerating a bit?"
 "Suicide. That's a stupid way to solve your
problem."
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"Hang in there things will blow over."
Providing support:
Ask Questions:
 "Are you thinking about hurting yourself?"
 "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" *
* If the answer is yes, keep asking questions:
 "How are you planning to do it?"
 "When are you going to do it?"
 "Do you have what you need to do it?" (i.e. access to
drugs, guns, knives, rope, a car)
 The more dangerous and definite the plan, the
greater the risk of a suicide attempt.
If the risk of suicide is very high
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Do not leave the youth alone
Call your family doctor and make
an appointment as soon as
possible for an assessment
If your family doctor is
unavailable, take the youth to the
hospital Emergency Ward
Know who to contact
if you are concerned
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Call your family doctor (Paediatrician and/or Psychiatrist
if involved)
Call the local crisis line for support
Contact the school counsellor and school administrator
Contact a community counsellor and/or mental health
agency
Keeping kids safe
Youth who are experiencing suicidal thoughts often act
impulsively. During this time it is important to restrict
access to any items your teen might use to harm
themselves.
Access to knives, firearms, ropes, razor blades, car
keys, and excessive amounts of medications must be
restricted. Kitchen knives, razor blades, car keys, and
medications can all be locked away. Firearms and ropes
must be kept in a safe place, inaccessible in case your
teen feels the impulse to act.
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A large number of people who take their own lives do so
using a vehicle. Carbon monoxide poisoning and single
vehicle accidents are lethal options, so limiting your
teen's access to a vehicle while they are expressing
thoughts of suicide is necessary.
Keep the discussion of suicide out in the open. Develop
an interest in the positive aspects and thoughts that the
youth has towards life.
Prepare a support network of caring people for your
teen.With the input of your teen you can carefully select
support people your teen trusts, with whom they can
share, and who can also watch out for suicide warning
signs.
Increasing a teen's natural support network apart from
time limited professional involvement is one of the most
important and effective ways to reduce the risk of
further attempts.
Common feelings …
Initially you might feel some
negative reactions to suicide that
might include:
 shock - doubt - denial - shame - guilt fear - anger - blame
While these are all common reactions to
a suicide attempt, it is important that
you respond in a helpful, more
productive manner.
Communication
Youth who are contemplating, or have attempted suicide
are struggling with feelings of rejection. They often feel
abandoned by everyone especially their parents. Let
them know that you are available to listen and talk, that
you are willing to spend time with them. Isolation only
reinforces the feelings of rejection and abandonment, so
stay close, stay involved.
The most important message to send to your teen are the
messages,
 "I love you and I want to understand what is going on in
your life."
 "I take you seriously."
 "I care about you."
 "I want to help."
Listen & encourage discussion
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Adults are often too willing to give advice, make
judgements, and try to solve problems for them. What
they really want are parents who will simply listen.
Do not attempt to solve your teen's problems
Do not downplay their fears and concerns
Do not defend yourself, your spouse, relatives, friends,
teachers, or their peers
Do not tell your teen how lucky they are or what they
have to look forward to
Do not ask, "Why did you try to kill yourself?" - this
implies that there is only one reason behind their
decision when usually there are compounding reasons
Talking is important …
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Talking gets the problem out in the open
Talking eases stress and tension
Talking gets you both thinking about where
you can go for help
Talking about suicide with your teen shows
them that you can handle the discussion, and
that they don't need to protect you anymore
How to approach the topic
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Use "I feel" statements when talking with your
teen about your feelings or reactions to their
behaviour. This avoids blaming the teen, and
then they are less likely to become defensive.
Avoid such statements as; "You make me so
angry!" instead say, "When you do this I feel
angry."
This change in your approach with your teen
might initially be met with some suspicion or
distrust, but after you show some genuine
interest in their life they will start to share
with you.
Parental self-care
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People who live in a state of long term high
stress are themselves at risk for clinical
depression, as well as other stress aggravated
physical illnesses (i.e. migraine headaches,
gastrointestinal discomfort). They often lose
their ability to effectively manage family,
relationship, and work issues.
Involve others - don't try to handle the
crisis alone
Get support
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It is important that you connect with a good friend,
family member, church personnel, counsellor, or any
other support person to provide assistance during this
difficult time.
Keep a list of these support people handy so that you
can access them for support when you need extra
assistance, or when you feel overwhelmed.
Ask for help with the practical things like driving to the
hospital, making phone calls, or attending meetings.
Find someone who is not directly involved to talk to for
more long term support
Share your situation with your GP who can provide
support and a possible referral.
Look after yourself
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Recruit supportive relatives and friends - you might
have to educate your support people.
Pay close attention to your physical and mental health;
nutrition, sleep, exercise, recreation, and relaxation.
Spend time doing activities that you enjoy.
Schedule a date night with your spouse or partner.
Find a supportive group of people who have experienced
situations similar to yours.
Attend to your spiritual self through religion, meditation,
nature, etc.
The role of school counsellors
and teachers
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Support the students by being a positive, caring adult who
listens
Report self-harm or warning signs to guidance, the
parent/guardian, and to Children’s Aid where the student is
under 16 years old
Provide referral to community agencies
Community Resources
for Individuals in Crisis
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Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-6868
Distress Centre
905-433-1121
Mobile Crisis Unit (16+)
1-800-742-1890
Mobile Crisis Unit (<16)
1-888-337-0841
Crisis Intervention Lakeridge Oshawa
905-433-4384
Lakeridge Health Bowmanville
905-623-3331
Lakeridge Health Oshawa
905-576-8711