Eternal families strive to make Jesus Christ their focus in
temporal as well as spiritual matters. In this dispensation the
Lord directed His Church to “organize yourselves; prepare every
needful thing” (D&C 88:119).
To obey this commandment we need to prepare to provide
temporally for our future families.
We should prepare for marriage temporally as well as
spiritually.
Temporal preparedness may include knowledge and proficiency
in a variety of skills.
President Thomas S.
Monson of the First
Presidency said:
“Preparation precedes
performance” (General
Conference Report, Apr.
1966, 61).
How to Get Out of Debt!
“May I say something about interest? Interest never
sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital;
it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a
vacation; it never visits nor travels; it takes no pleasure; it
is never laid off work nor discharged from employment;
it never works on reduced hours; it never has short crops
nor droughts; it never pays taxes; it buys no food; it
wears no clothes; it is un-housed and without home and
so has no repairs, no replacements, no shingling,
plumbing, painting, or white-washing; it has neither
wife, children, father, mother, nor kinfolk to watch over
and care for; it has no expense of living; it has neither
weddings nor births nor deaths; it has no love, no
sympathy; it is as hard and soulless as a granite cliff.
Once in debt, interest is your
companion every minute of the
day and night; you cannot shun it
or slip away for it; you cannot
dismiss it; it yields neither to
entreaties, demands, nor orders;
and whenever you get in its way
or cross its course or fail to meet
its demands, it crushes you
(Improvement Era, vol. 41, June
1938, 328).
The time has come to get our houses in order
(President Gordon B. Hinckley, Conference Report Oct, 1998).
“The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant
to the lender”
(Proverbs 22:77).
“Owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that
loveth another hath fulfilled the law” (Romans 13:8).
And I would that ye should remember, that whosoever
among you borroweth of his neighbor should return the
thing that he borroweth, according as he doth agree, or else
thou shalt commit sin; and perhaps thou shalt cause thy
neighbor to commit sin also”
(Mosiah 4:28).
“Behold, it is said in my laws, or
forbidden, to get into debt - behold it is
my will that you shall pay all your
debts” (Doctrine & Covenants 64: 27).
“If thou borrowest of thy neighbor, thou
shalt restore that which thou hast
borrowed; and if thou canst not repay
then go straightway and tell thy
neighbor, lest he condemn thee
(Doctrine & Covenants 136:25).
The American Barr Association has indicated that 89 percent
of all divorces can be traced to quarrels and accusations over
money.
Others have estimated that 75 percent of all divorces result
from clashes over finances.
Professional counselors indicate that four out of five families
are strapped with serious money problems.
These Marriage tragedies are not caused by lack of money,
but rather by the mismanagement of personal finances (Elder
Marvin J. Ashton, One for the Money, Ensign Sept. 2007).
In the home, money management between husband and wife
should be on a partnership basis, with both parties having a
voice in decision and policy making (Elder Marvin J. Ashton,
ibid).
“The possession of wealth or the
acquisition of significant income is
not a mark of heavenly favor, and
their absence is not evidence of
heavenly disfavor.”
“Those who brood over the
prosperity or seeming happiness of
the wicked put to much emphasis on
material things.”
“Well-meaning relatives have broken
up many a home. Numerous divorces
are attributable to the interference of
parents who thought they were only
protecting their loved children. Live in
your own home even though it be but a
modest cottage or a tent. Live your
own life” (“John and Mary, Beginning
Life Together,” New Era, June 1975, 4).
A letter from a male student received October 30, 2014:
Brother Pyper! I really just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your
class. I really do enjoy the material being taught. Today was especially
thought provoking; and I applaud you for your financial success. I’m 25, and
RM, and currently enrolled in my 5th semester studying History Education. I
plan on receiving a MA in Education Administration, and possibly a
Doctorate. I know I want to be a teacher in Wyoming (as they pay more), and
eventually a High School Principal. My Patriarchal blessing is very clear
about my education, and prompts me to get as much as I possibly can, and
that I can “excel in the field of my choice.” I have every confidence of that. I
trust in the Lord’s promises. What I have been doubting is myself. I long
considered an accounting route. Not because of a passion for it, but because
of its security. In my mind, almost no degrees equate with an accounting
degree. My closest friend graduated from here with a BA in Accounting. My
brother-in-law is a CPA, but chose to go into real estate. After many talks
with my friend, I decided to change my major to Accounting. At the
beginning of this semester, I enrolled in two Econ courses, and one accounting
course. I stuck it out three days. Ha. I knew I was being unfair to myself. I
would have been miserable had I stayed in that pathway. So, I went to the
Academic Discovery Center almost pathetically desperate for help and
guidance.
You know….one of those moments where you feel so totally frustrated with
your progress, and you still can’t decide what to study. But, I went and spoke
with them. And, they pointed me in the right direction. And, I can say with
confidence that I feel good about my degree and my desired occupation. I
really appreciated what you said today. I truly want to make a lot of money.
But, I don’t want a miserable occupation. And, I feel that I can be successful
teaching in Wyoming, and become a principal or superintendent. But, I
wanted to write to you and vent a little. It’s clear students feel comfortable
approaching you, and confiding in you; and I appreciate that. Thank you. My
dad has always put bread on the table. He has always cared for the family,
and has worked hard for my family. When I was younger (before the 4th
grade), my parents had a large home, and a lot of kids. I remember those
Christmas’s being so big. Presents everywhere. Ya know….like Home Alone
Lost in New York big Christmas’s. And then, it seems liked they all just went
away. My parents are faithful members, but I know even for a while they
refused paying their tithing. In the 4th grade, my family and I moved here, to
Rigby. I spent the next four years here. And, for two or three of those
Christmas’s we had nothing. I mean nothing. We put a tree up, but there
wasn’t a single present under it. It’s like the Grinch made his way in before
Christmas Eve. And, I’m not complaining. I’ve always felt like I’ve been
blessed with understanding. And, witnessing the “crucifixion of my father’s
soul” really impacted me.
In the 8th grade, my family and I moved back to Washington….where it
seemed things were much better. Financial stress seemed to level out….the
fighting seemed to calm down, and spirits seemed to be higher. Then,
halfway through my senior year, my parents again moved me back to Idaho;
this time Idaho Falls. The next two years sucked. They sucked bad. My dad
lost his job in Washington, and he went a few months unemployed. I’ve seen
my dad unshaven about twice in my life. And, I don’t think he even bathed or
changed out of his sleeping gown. Seeing my dad like that was hell. It
seriously made me so depressed, and I felt so bad for him. All the money that
I had been saving the last year (to buy a new road bike) went to buy the
family groceries (which I understood. I wasn’t upset). What upset me was
that they didn’t tell me that they had been using my money for groceries. But,
it wasn’t a surprise to me that they had….as the contention level again had
risen, and fights were becoming the norm again. Now I know most parents
fight. I know they have their disagreements. But, I remember fights so
viscous I was so confused why they didn’t divorce. I remember wishing they
would….if it meant we didn’t have to listen to their fighting. My older
siblings were not witnesses to a lot of these fights. But, they’ve been
ingrained in my memory, and I’ve wondered if these are not the reasons for
my not being married. Nothing infuriates me more than controlling behavior,
manipulation, and nit-picking.
I’ve witnessed my parents’ marriage, and told myself I’d rather be alone the
rest of my life than live in a relationship like that. So, we moved back to Idaho
for my senior year, and in preparation for my mission. We moved in with my
aunt, who was a traveling nurse and often left her nice home vacant. She
graciously offered us to come live there till we could get back on our feet.
That’s when the fighting got really bad. Some school nights we couldn’t fall
asleep because the yelling would last till 3 or 4 in the morning. To be brief,
my parents have either had a lot of money or none. I love my parents so
much, and I’m grateful for them. Really, I love my parents. They’ve just had
a few rough patches. But my deepest insecurities were again realized today in
class. I guess my parents never taught me a lot of financial self-discipline.
And I’ve seen three of my siblings go through college with as much as 40K in
debt. Being young and dumb , I’ve collect 15K. A number I’m truly not
proud of. It makes me sick, and it is my goal to not take out another loan for
my BA. And, I know I can do it. If I need to sell my car, I will. But, what has
always worried me so much about getting into a serious relationship is telling
her that I have 15K in debt. I hate reading church counsel on the topic,
because it’s something that I’ve struggled with. And, it seems like many of
the girls I take out (the one I’m crushing on right now) come from very
wealthy families, whose parents pay for their car, phone, insurance, tuition,
and rent. I’m not envious at all. But, I’ve never had the luxury of having
things paid for. Consequently, it makes me insecure. I hate the debt that I
have; and these girls coming from their comfortable backgrounds will never
know what it’s like to have only $10 in the bank account.
I feel like they will look down on me so much if they
knew what debt I’ve collected, and how much my
family has struggled with finances. It’s hard. But,
witnessing all this has distilled on me a strong desire to
excel. I want to graduate with no more loans. I want to
consider retirement plans now to bless my future
family. I know I’ll get married; I just don’t know when
or to who. I’ve often felt like she would come from a
similar background….so that we could relate. But, I
just wanted to thank you for you kind words today.
You help me reflect on my insecurities, and helped me
realize what changes I need to make to bless myself,
and my future family. Sorry for the novel, but I felt like
I needed to put it on paper. Thanks again!
1.
PAY AN HONEST TITHING:
Our commitment to this important
gospel principle will be strengthened
and the likelihood of financial
mismanagement will be reduced.
2. LEARN TO MANAGE MONEY BEFORE IT
MANAGES YOU:
Can my sweetheart manage money?
Does he know how to live within his means?
These are more important questions than can
he earn a lot of money.
Finances should be mutual between husband
and wife in an attitude of openness and trust.
3. LEARN SELF-DISIPLINE AND SELFRESTRAINT IN MONEY MATTERS:
Young couples should recognize that they
cannot immediately maintain the same
spending patterns and life-style as that to
which they were accustomed as part of their
parents’ family.
A disgusted husband once said, “I think that
in life money talks, but when my wife gets
hold of it, all it ever says is “Good-bye.”
4. USE A BUDGET:
With the exception of buying a home, paying for
education, or making other vital investments, avoid
debt and the resulting finance charges. Buy consumer
durables and vacations with cash.
The use of multiple credit cards significantly adds to the
risk of excess debt.
Every LDS family should file honest and timely tax
returns.
Bankruptcy should be avoided, except only under the
most unique and irreversible circumstances, and then
utilized only after prayerful thought and through legal
and financial consultation.
5. TEACH FAMILY MEMBERS EARLY THE
IMPORTANCE OF WORKING AND EARNING:
One of the greatest favors parents can do for their
children is to teach them to work.
I believe children should earn money needs through
service and appropriate chores.
6. TEACH CHILDREN TO MAKE MONEY DECISIONS IN
KEEPING WITH THEIR CAPACITIES TO
COMPREHEND.
7. TEACH EACH FAMILY MEMBER TO CONTRIBUTE
TO THE TOTAL FAMILY WELFARE.
8. MAKE EDUCATION A CONTINUING PROCESS:
We should no allow ourselves, when we are out of
work, to sit back and wait for “our type of job” if
other honorable interim employment becomes
available.
9. WORK TOWARD HOME OWNERSHIP.
10. APPROPRIATELY INVOLVE YOURSELF IN AN
INSURANCE PROGRAM:
It is most important to have sufficient medical,
automobile, and homeowner’s insurance and an
adequate life insurance program.
11. UNDERSTAND THE INFLUENCE OF
EXTERNAL FORCES ON FAMILY FINANCES
AND INVESTMENTS.
12.
APPROPRIATELY INVOLVE YOURSELF IN A
FOOD STORAGE AND EMERGENCY
PREPAREDNESS PROGRAM:
Planting and harvesting a garden annually is
helpful to the family in many ways, including the
food budget. Eat nutritious foods and exercise
appropriately to improve health, thus avoiding
many medical costs.
“The worst fear… I have about this people is
that they will get rich in this country, forget
God and his people, wax fat, and kick
themselves out of the Church and go to hell.
This people will stand mobbing, robbing,
poverty, and all manner of persecution, and
be true. But my greater fear for them is that
they cannot stand wealth” (Brigham Young,
Preston Nibley, Brigham Young, 127-28).
Jacob 2:13, 17-19
The Lord never intended the L.D.S. to be
a poverty stricken and destitute people.
He intended that their goodness should
entitle them to inherit the good things of
the earth if they were used properly…
(with hard work). Do not get the idea
that we have a quarrel with wealth if it is
legitimately acquired. It is the utilization
of wealth which is often subject to
criticism (Stephen L. Richards, Where is
Wisdom?, 57-58).
Jacob 2:18-19
Before all else, “Seek for the Kingdom of
God.”
“When we put God first, all other things fall
into their proper place or drop out of our
lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the
claims for our affection, the demands on our
time, the interests we pursue, and the order of
our priorities” (Ezra T. Benson, Ensign, May
1988, 4). (Matthew 22:36-38).
President David O. McKay counseled us to be
cautious regarding that which we seek. Though we
may obtain almost anything we work for, it may
come at a high price: “What seek ye first? What do
you cherish as the dominant, the uppermost thought
in your mind? What this is will largely determine
your destiny… You may win in this world almost
anything for which you strive. If you work for
wealth, you can get it, but before you make it an end
in itself, take a look at those men who have sacrificed
all to the accomplishment of this purpose, at those
who have desired wealth for the sake of wealth itself.
Gold does not corrupt man; it is in the motive of
acquiring that gold that corruption occurs” (Treasures
of Life [1962], 174-75).
Having faith in the plan of salvation includes
steadfastly refusing to be diverted from our true
identities and responsibilities. In the brief
season of our existence on earth we may serve as
plumber, professor, farmer, physician, mechanic,
bookkeeper, or teacher. These are useful
activities and honorable designations; but a
temporary vocation is not reflective of our true
identities. Matthew was a tax collector, Luke a
physician, and Peter a fisherman. In a
salvational sense, “so what!” (Neal A. Maxwell,
Lord, Increase Our Faith, 47).
“Children who always get what they want will want as
long as they live.
It is important for our children to realize that the earth
still revolves around the sun and not around them.
For many children it is almost all play and very little
work.
Pioneer Motto:
Fix it up, wear it out, make it do, or do
without.
We should not endanger ourselves either spiritually
or economically by acquiring homes which are
ostentatious, feed our vanity, and go far beyond our
needs.
There are those with average incomes who, over a
lifetime, do amass some means, and there are those
who receive large salaries who do not.
LET US EACH REMEMBER
Don’t confuse wants with needs
Avoid spoiling our children
Live modestly and avoid debt
Be generous in giving to others
Effective financial and resource management
necessitates that we clarify our values. We
must determine what is most important.
President N. Eldon Tanner taught that we
must “Learn to distinguish between needs
and wants” (Constancy Amid Change).
Elder Marvin J. Ashton taught that we must
“Think of our partner’s and our family’s
needs ahead of our own wants” (ibid.).
Elder Ashton counseled:
“In the home, money management
between husband and wife should be a
partnership basis, with both parties
having a voice… when children come
along and reach the age of 8, they too
should be involved in money concerns on
a limited partnership basis” (ibid.).
President Tanner counseled:
“Live frugally. Live on less than you earn” (ibid, 69).
President Heber J. Grant said:
“If there is any one thing that will bring peace an
contentment into the human heart, and into the
family, it is to live within our means. And if there is
any one thing that is grinding and discouraging and
disheartening, it is to have debts and obligations that
one cannot meet (Gospel Standards, 111).
The average person in this country
carries a $1200 credit card balance
from one month to the next. One
of the wisest things many could do
to help themselves financially is to
perform some “plastic surgery,”
that is, cut up your credit cards.
If you are already in debt, the
following suggestions might be
helpful:
Develop and stick to a balanced budget.
Avoid making any new financial commitments. Take on no
new credit.
Destroy all credit cards or lock them up so that they can’t
be used.
Develop a plan for repaying all debts. If the budget cannot
handle the repayment schedule, try to negotiate lower
payments and longer payback periods.
Try to pay off the debts with the highest interest rates first.
Budget
category
Recommended percentage
range
Housing
15-30 %
Food
15-30%
Taxes
Depends of tax bracket
Tithing
10% offerings + fast offerings
Transportation 6-20%
Utilities
4-7%
Medical
2-8%
Clothing
3-10%
Recreation
2-6%
Life Insurance
4-6% × your annual income
Personal care
2-4%
Savings
5-9%
The birth of the first child
increases expenses about 20%.
However, each child born after
that does not increase costs by
20% each. Food costs differ
because you buy in larger
quantities. Clothing can be
handed down, Etc.
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How will tithing fit into the
management of our finances?
What was the attitude of our
parents toward debt? Toward
Saving? Budgeting?
Who managed the money in
each of our homes?
What will we do to ensure we
do not go into debt?
Do we agree about budgeting,
saving, and investing?
How will we handle credit
cards?
How do we plan to support
our family financially?





What types of bank
accounts will we have?
How will we see that
bills are paid in a timely
manner?
Who will balance the
check book?
What types of purchases
will we be able to make
individually? Which will
we need to agree on?
How responsible have
each of us been in the
past with regard to
money management?