Emily Nagoski
enagoski@smith.edu
Wellness EducationDirector
Smith College
LOVE, LUST, AND LIQUOR
Outline
 How Sex Works
 How Alcohol Works
 What Alcohol Does to Sex
 Maximize Good. Minimize Bad.
What they didn’t teach you in high school.
HOW SEX WORKS
How Sex Works
The four phases of sexual response
orgasm
resolution
plateau
arousal
Sexual Physiology:
the Dual Control Model
 Sexual Excitation System – the “gas,” responds
to sexually relevant stimuli in the environment
 Sexual Inhibition System
 SIS-I – “handbrake” the chronic, trait-level inhibitory
tone
 SIS-II – “footbrake” the inhibitory system which
responds to threats in the environment
 People have different levels of SIS and SES, just
like they have different eye colors.
Think you know?
HOW ALCOHOL WORKS
The Bi-Phasic Effect
“the pleasure plateau”
Alcohol is a CNS “depressant”
• First it turns off the breaks
• Then it turns off the gas
“the zone of regret”
1-2-3-4…
SIX STAGES OF INTOXICATION
Judgment
Stage 1: Buzzed
Buzzed Sex
“First it turns off the brakes”
 Decreased SIS
 Affectionate
 Arousable
 Happy
 For those with high SIS,
orgasms become easier.
 Diminished decisionmaking
“the pleasure plateau”
Social Intelligence
Judgment
Stage 2: Euphoria
Euphoric Sex
 Further reduced SIS
 Easier erections for some men
 Easier orgasms for some women
 Further impaired judgment
 Loss of fine motor coordination
 Physical appearance
 Flushed
 Glassy eyes
 Smiling
 This is as intoxicated as you can get without
negative sexual side effects
Social Intelligence
Judgment
Stage 3: Drunk
Motor coordination
Drunk Sex
“Then it turns off the gas.”
 “Whiskey dick” sets in (a.k.a.,
alcohol induced erectile
dysfunction)
 Orgasm delayed in both men
and women
 Seriously impaired decisionmaking (legally unable to give
consent)
 Seriously impaired coordination
(condom wrapper, anyone?)
“the zone of regret”
Social Intelligence
Motor coordination
Judgment
Hammered
Sensory Coherence
Shitfaced
Trashed
Completely fucked up
Stage 4: Stupid Drunk
Wasted
Stupid Drunk Sex
 Obliterated decision making – you should not
be left alone
 Seriously reduced sensation = seriously
reduced sexual response
 Appearance
 Drooping eyelids ≠ “bedroom eyes”
 Skin pale, clammy
 Face slack
Social Intelligence
Motor coordination
Judgment
Sensory Coherence
Memory Creation
Stage 5: Stupor
Stupor Sex
 You can’t have good (any?) sex at this stage
 You definitely can’t give consent
 You definitely can’t get consent
Social Intelligence
Motor coordination
Judgment
Sensory Coherence
Memory Creation
Not being able to breath is very bad for your sex life.
Never get this drunk, okay?
Stage 6: Coma, Death
Balance,
breathing,
heartbeat,
unimportant
things like that.
Mmmmmh, decisional balance…
MAXIMIZE GOOD, MINIMIZE BAD
You: avoid blackouts,
hangovers, and embarrassment
 Food:
 Proteins and fats (Pizza! Cheesesteak! Yum!) before
you drink
 Carbs while you drink
 Water
 Stay hydrated
 Pace drinking
 Decide ahead of time how much you want to
drink, and plan accordingly.
 If you’re too drunk to drive, you’re too drunk to…
You and Your Friends
 Work out a plan before you start drinking.
 Who’s driving/staying sober?
 Who does/does not want to get laid?
 How are you getting home?
 Friends don’t let friends sleep away from home.
 Seek medical care if :
 Your friend vomits more than once, or vomits while
unconscious
 Your friend’s breathing is shallow
 Your friend’s lips or nails are blue
You and Your Partner
 Limit 1-4 drinks, depending on weight,
gender, and speed of drinking.
 If going out, decide (and alternate!) who will
be sober.
 Make sure somebody has a condom/dam.
 For het couples: Emergency Contraception in
case your original contraceptive method fails.
 Effective up to 5 days after unprotected
intercourse
Questions?
THE END
enagoski@smith.edu