Creating Teachable Moments:
A Resource Parents Guide to
Teaching Life Skills
Participant Guide
Tennessee Department Of Children Services
Participant Guide
Creating Teachable Moments
Creating Teachable Moments
Participant Guide
November 2014
Tennessee Department of Children’s Services
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Participant Guide
Creating Teachable Moments
Introduction
You can see the urgency on the 18-year-old’s face; her eyes are visibly
pleading as she shares her hopes with the audience. “I don’t care how old I am
when I am adopted, but I want to be adopted so I’ll have someone to walk me
down the aisle someday.” This is a sentiment felt by most youth who are
getting ready to “age out” of the system without a permanent caring adult in
their life to help guide them through this uncertain transition into adulthood.
Every year, more than 25,000 teens age out of foster care; many times with no
permanent, significant personal connection with an adult. In Tennessee alone,
there are 8,400 children in state’s custody and of those, 3,400 are fourteen or
older. The statistics carry a message of need, of urgency, and often
desperation, that should alarm everyone who hears it. Our foster youth find
themselves in the hands of strangers at no fault of their own; they did not ask
for this fate nor do they want it. What do our youth want? Our foster youth
want to feel “normal,” to feel safe, loved and heard. They want what we all
want, a future that holds hope and security!
Creating Teachable Moments was created to address what the statistics tell
us, that youth are aging out without the skills necessary to navigate life in the
direction of success! The tools needed are easily obtained with the help of a
significant personal connection that takes an interest in teaching them, but are
frequently not given much consideration. For most of us growing up, life skills
were a built in part of life. We would learn through observing our caregivers
day to day routines, and from random teachable moments that presented
themselves. The difference with our foster youth is they come into our homes
dealing with the trauma of loss which often brings behaviors that hinders
relationship development. Because of this, caregivers may believe that they
are unable to assist with anything more than a roof over their heads. Statistics
show that most people feel that foster youth will fail in life, so expectations
are low that our efforts will help. On the contrary, we see youth working hard
toward a better life. Tennessee graduated 281 seniors from high school in
2013, with many of those continuing on into college. With that being said, the
way we work with our youth falls into two categories: teaching tangible skills
such as problem solving, planning, decision-making, time management,
communication, and interpersonal relations. And secondly, intangible skills
like cooking, budgeting, or how to get a summer job which caregivers can
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provide by creating teachable moments. This material will help us
understand how to use the same two-part process to teach life skills. Part one,
share your knowledge about and techniques for planning and decisionmaking that you have learned; part two, provide the youth with opportunities
to practice!
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Notes:
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 Independent: The idea that once a foster youth ages out of the system,
they will function completely on their own, navigating life with only the
resources they develop for themselves.
 Interdependent: This concept recognizes that as youth age out of the
system, they need permanent, supportive relationships that will help them
achieve their goals along the way.
Notes:
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Relationship Building Tools
 Listen - Foster youth need to be heard. So often, they are not involved
in the decisions that govern their lives, making it difficult for them to
feel capable of making their own decisions in the future. Youth learn by
observing and participating. We must allow them the opportunities by
listening to their ideas, thoughts and feelings. Put your phone down,
turn off the radio/TV and really listen to what the foster youth is trying
to convey.
 Show an interest – When our children are young, they want us to
watch them do everything and get our approval. This helps them to
grow confidence. As our children age, we may not show the same
interest in what they do but they need us to be interested just the same.
Find out what they like and talk to them about it or participate with
them in the activity.
 Mean what you say – One of the most important aspects of a
relationship is trust. Foster youth have been let down over and over
and need consistency in their life. When you follow through in all that
you say you will do, you create consistency for the youth. This develops
security, trust and self-esteem.
 Be positive about their birth family - The minute we make negative
comments about a youth’s birth family, we lose all credibility and trust
that we may have built. No matter what has happened with their
family they will always love them and our response has an impact.
 Be supportive – Provide opportunities for the youth to experience. Not
only should we encourage them to find their way, sometimes we should
find the way for them and join them on the journey until they feel ready
to take steps on their own.
 Learn who they are – Find out everything you can about your foster
youth. Likes, dislikes, favorite activities, fears, dreams etc… anything to
help you connect to them.
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Notes:
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Notes:
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Notes:
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SCENARIO 1: My Personal Meal Plan
David, 17, has lived in your home for 6 months. He is beginning to feel like part of your family and
has even begun completing his daily chores without being reminded. David has recently talked
about transitioning from foster care when he turns 18, instead of staying in the system any longer
and attending college. Your preference is for him to go to college, but understand that it may not be
the best fit for him. Because you know this is the direction he wants to take, you begin to think of
skills that he will need in order to begin living on his own. He has really done well with laundry,
housekeeping, and small repairs, but you realize that he has not spent any time learning about how
to plan a meal, buy groceries and cook. You begin working with David by having him observe and
help with small tasks while cooking evening meals; he actually seems to like it. Wanting to take it a
few steps further you plan for David to do some comparison shopping. You have learned over the
past few months how much he enjoys the Burger Barn down the street, so you put together the
prices of a home cooked meal vs. the fast food meal. (Answer the questions below) Once he realizes
how much more he would be spending for less nutritional meals he is shocked at how much money
he would have to make to continue to eat fast food every day.
Your next plan is to show him the difference between stores so that he can see that not every
grocery store prices items the same. So where he shops will make a difference. The job that he has
applied for makes $800 per month, so we use that amount to decide the value of the meals he will
plan to eat. (Review the two grocery stores side by side and answer the questions below)
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Questions
Based on the information provided, if you ate at a fast food restaurant ten times per week,
how much would that cost? _______________ How much would it cost if you ate the fast food
ten times per week for an entire month? _______________
In the grocery store examples, the prices are given for the same food in each store. How
could you teach David the value of shopping at one store over the other? How much savings
is there from the Neighborhood Grocery and the Big and Save Supermarket? ______________
What are the tangible skills being learned with this activity?
What are the intangible skills being learned with this activity?
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Participant Guide
SCENARIO 2: My Personal Monthly Budget
David, 17, has lived in your home for 8 months. In that time he has secured a job making
$800 per month, and plans to transition out of the foster care system when he turns 18. He
also receives $100 per month from the state from a trust fund his grandmother set up for
him. You are discussing what it will take in order for him to move out on his own. You find
that the money he has made so far has been going to clothes and video games. You decide
to sit down with David and come up with a budget based on his income and what it will
take for him to move into an apartment. Together, you look through the newspaper at
rental apartments to get an idea of the cost. You find one for $500 per month with the
utilities included. Before you fill in the budget sheet that you prepared for David, you
decide to talk to him about “wants vs. needs” so that he can begin to understand what he
can afford.
(Go through each provided card to determine “wants” and “needs” and separate them out)
WANTS
NEEDS
(Next, review the “needs” cards you selected and fill in the sample budget worksheet)
My Income:
TOTAL: $900
Wages $800
Public Assistance $100
My Fixed Expenses:
TOTAL:
Rent/Mortgage
Taxes/Insurance
Trash Collection
Medical
My Flexible Expenses:
TOTAL:
Utilities (Gas, Water, Electricity)
Cable
Cell Phone
Food
Transportation
Home Costs
Education
Personal Expenses
Savings
Misc. Cost
TOTAL AFTER EXPENSES:
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Questions
Will David be able to afford the $500 per month apartment? If not, discuss other options for
obtaining housing:
Will David be able to purchase some of the items from his “wants” list at the end of the
month? If so, what discussion could you have with David about a “wants” purchase verses
a “needs” purchase?
What are the tangible skills being learned with this activity?
What are the intangible skills being learned with this activity?
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Video Game
$40
Nike Shoes
$100
Eating Out
$50
Savings
$10
Miscellaneous Cost
$30
Personal Expenses
$50
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Education
(doesn’t like school)
Home Costs
$50
Transportation
$100
Food
$100
Cell Phone
$40
Cable
$40
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Utilities
(Included in rent)
Medical
$20
Trash Collection
$10
Taxes/Insurance
$50
Rent/Mortgage
$500
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SCENARIO 3: My Personal Checking Account
David, 18, plans to transition out of foster care in a few weeks. He has secured a job with the
neighborhood grocery store and makes $800 per month along with $100 from the state from a trust
fund set up by his grandmother. Several weeks ago, you went with him to open a checking account
because he was carrying all of his cash with him, and spending it on video games and fast food.
They gave David a debit card to use for purchases that would come directly out of his account which
he has used for several purchases already.
He comes to you and says he needs to write two checks: one for a down payment on a car ($150),
and one for a security deposit ($300) for the apartment that he will be moving into with his two
friends, in just a few weeks. He is holding his bank statement, and because he has not been writing
down his purchases, his balance is not what he thought it should be. He wonders if he will have
enough money to write the checks he needs to write. With the information provided below, use the
attached blank checks and check registry to show David how to write a check and keep up with his
balance. Answer the questions at the end when finished.
1. David’s bank statement says he has a $500 balance in his account. Insert this amount on
Line #1 in the check register in the box under the word Balance.
2. He tells you that on April 3rd he ordered a hamburger and a soda from Burger Barn and
spent $5.00 with his debit card. Go to Line #2 and insert the date, transaction description,
payment amount, then subtract that from his balance. Place his new balance under the
Balance column.
3. Follow the same instructions for his next two charges:
 April 5th he spent $30 at the Game Shop for a video he wanted.
 April 23rd for $15 at the Too Much Store for a shirt he “just had to have.”
4. David asks you what the $5 charge is that has “Bank Fee” beside it. You remind him about
the day you opened his checking account and the banker shared that there would be a
monthly fee of $5 for having a checking account. He had not kept up with it. Go to Line #5
and deduct the bank fee from the balance.
5. Now that he has his current balance, David is ready to write out the checks he needs.
6. You tell David that you will show him how to write the checks he needs, and then he will
need to deduct the amounts from his current balance ensure there is plenty of money in the
account.
7. The checks below are the examples of how your checks looked after walking David through
the steps of writing a check for the items he wants to purchase.
8. Deduct these two amounts from his check register and see what the balance will be when
the money comes out of his account. (Answer the questions below)
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Participant Guide
Check Register
Line
#
Date
Check
#
Transaction
Description
Payment Deposit Balance
Amount Amount
$
(-)
(+)
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
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No. 0001
David Bigbucks
123 Savings Drive
Prosperity City, HI 96822
Date 8/29/14
Pay to the
Order of ____Starter Apartments___________________________________ $__150. 00 _____
_One Hundred fifty and 00/100_-------------------------------------------------______________Dollars
KidsMoneyFarm Bank
Money Tree, HI 96822
300 Friendly Lane
Memo_Deposit on Apartment________________
|:987654321|:
8086545309
Signature_________________________
0001
No. 0002
David Bigbucks
123 Savings Drive
Prosperity City, HI 96822
Date 8/29/14________
Pay to the
Order of ___Car City_____________________________________________ $_300.00 _________
_Three hundred and 00/100 ---------------------------------------------------------_______________Dollars
KidsMoneyFarm Bank
Money Tree, HI 96822
300 Friendly Lane
Memo__Down Payment_____________________
|:987654321|:
8086545309
Signature_________________________
0002
David Bigbucks
No. 0003
123 Savings Drive
Prosperity City, HI 96822
Date_______________________
Pay to the
Order of _______________________________________________________ $________________
_____________________________________________________________________Dollars
KidsMoneyFarm Bank
Money Tree, HI 96822
300 Friendly Lane
Memo_____________________________________
Signature_________________________
|:987654321|:
0003
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No. 0001
David Bigbucks
123 Savings Drive
Prosperity City, HI 96822
Date_______________________
Pay to the
Order of _______________________________________________________ $________________
_____________________________________________________________________Dollars
KidsMoneyFarm Bank
Money Tree, HI 96822
300 Friendly Lane
Memo_____________________________________
Signature_________________________
|:987654321|:
0001
8086545309
No. 0002
David Bigbucks
123 Savings Drive
Prosperity City, HI 96822
Date_______________________
Pay to the
Order of _______________________________________________________ $________________
_____________________________________________________________________Dollars
KidsMoneyFarm Bank
Money Tree, HI 96822
300 Friendly Lane
Memo_____________________________________
Signature_________________________
|:987654321|:
0002
8086545309
No. 0003
David Bigbucks
123 Savings Drive
Prosperity City, HI 96822
Date_______________________
Pay to the
Order of _______________________________________________________ $________________
_____________________________________________________________________Dollars
KidsMoneyFarm Bank
Money Tree, HI 96822
300 Friendly Lane
Memo_____________________________________
Signature_________________________
|:987654321|:
0003
8086545309
*These blank checks are provided for practice with your youth.
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Questions
What is the total balance? Does he have enough to use the checks that he wrote?
He gets paid $200 in two days. What will your discussion be about his next step in securing
the apartment and a down payment on a car?
What are the tangible skills being learned with this activity?
What are the intangible skills being learned with this activity?
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SCENARIO 4: My Personal Credit Card
David, 18, just transitioned out of foster care. He has a job with the neighborhood grocery store and
makes $800 per month along with $100 from the state from a trust fund set up by his grandmother.
He applied for a credit card because he received an invitation by mail and it seemed like a good
choice at the time. He has made a couple of purchases on the card already and because you are the
one permanent caring adult in his life, he comes to you with concerns over the meaning of his credit
card statement. Finances have been tight since he left your home and moved into an apartment
with two others. He saw the late fees and the due date and became concerned that he will not have
enough to cover the payment and wants advice on how to read the statement and possible solutions
to his financial concerns. You take the statement and begin to look at every portion of the bill
asking David the following questions as you go along. Answer the questions below related to this
credit card statement and then discuss what skills David is learning from this experience.
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Discussion Questions about the Statement:
1. The date of the statement is: ___________________________
2. What is the Annual Percentage Rate? _________________%
3. What is the new balance? ______________________________
4. How many charges were made during the billing cycle? _____________________
5. What is the total amount of the credit line? ______________________
6. What is the total amount of available credit? __________________________
7. What is the total amount of charges made during the current billing period?
_______________
8. What is the account number on the statement? ___________________________________
9. What is the date for the next payment? ______________________________________
10. When is the due date? _____________________________________
11. What happens if the payment is not made by the due date? ____________________________
What would you say to David about his credit report during this exercise?
What are the tangible skills being taught in this example?
What are the intangible skills being taught in this example?
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Notes:
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Creating Teachable Moments
Casey’s “Ready, Set, Fly!” Tool: Ready, Set, Fly! A Parent’s Guide to Teaching Life Skills
was created through a series of discussion groups with foster and adoptive parents,
teens, and young adults at the Tucson Division of Casey Family programs. The goal was
to develop a practical resource to help caregivers teach youth some of the skills that are
needed to enable youth to live successfully on their own. This tool is designed to be
used with the Life Skills Assessment Tool and the Life Skills Resources to Inspire Guide.
Casey Life Skills Assessment Tool : This assessment tool was developed by the Casey
Foundation to be completed by youth ages 14-17 years of ages, to determine what skills
would need to be worked on before they transition out of the home. This tool will be
useful for you to see what skills are important to teach the children that you work with
on a daily basis. It should be used as a guide as you create teachable moments to your
foster children.
Casey Life Skills Resources to Inspire guide: This guide provides the learner and life
skill instructor (practitioner, parent or other caregiver) a place to start when creating a
learning plan. It identifies the skill areas and corresponding goals and expectations to
help young people and practitioners build effective plans. It lists suggestions for
resources to help create activities and exercises that can be used to teach the learning
goals in group, individual, or self-instruction formats.
Driver’s license information: There is information provided to assist with making
decisions about allowing a foster child to obtain a driver’s license and secure car
insurance.
“Things No One Told Me” booklet: This booklet is where all of the quotes from youth
came from about things no one told them about preparing for life on their own.
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