Everyone Communicates – Few Connect
John C. Maxwell ©
Presented by
Scott Schoenberger
Part I: Connecting Principles
1. Connecting Increases Your Influence in Every Situation
2. Connecting is All About Others
3. Connecting Goes Beyond Words
4. Connecting Always Requires Energy
5. Connecting is More Skill than Natural Talent
Part II: Connecting Practices
1. Connectors Connect on Common Ground
2. Connectors Do the Difficult Work of Keeping It Simple
3. Connectors Create an Experience Everyone Enjoys
4. Connectors Inspire People
5. Connectors Live What They Communicate
1
Principle 1: Connecting Increases Your Influence In Every Situation
“The #1 criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals
is an ability to communicate effectively.” ~ Ralph G. Nichols
Presidential historian Robert Dallek says that successful
presidents exhibit five skills and qualities that enable them to
achieve things that others don’t.
1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4. ____________________
5. _____________________
6. _____________________
Connecting is the ability to ____________________ with people
and ______________ to them in such a way that increases our
influence with them.
Leadership is ____________________
Connecting Signals
 Extra Effort – people go the extra mile
 Unsolicited ____________________ - they say positive
things
2
 Unguarded ____________________ - they demonstrate
trust
 Increased ___________________ - they express
themselves more readily
 Enjoyable ____________________ - they feel good about
what they’re doing
 Emotional ____________________ - they display a
connection on an emotional level
 Positive ____________________ - their emotional
“batteries” are charged by being together
 Growing ____________________ - their effectiveness is
greater than the sum of the contributions
 Unconditional ____________________ - they are accepting
without reservation
The ability to connect with others begins with
________________________________.
Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, observes, “Those who build
great companies understand that the ultimate throttle on growth
for any great company is not markets, or technology, or
competition, or products. It is the one thing above all others – the
ability to get and keep enough of the right people.”
3
High Achievers
Cared about people
as
well as
Average Achievers
Concentrated on
________________
____
Viewed
subordinates Were focused more
________________
on their own
____
________________
____
________________
________________
Were reluctant
to
____
__
from those under
________________
them
____
Were
Listened
to
from
thoseonly
under
them
________________ ________________
____
____
Low Achievers
Were preoccupied
with their own
________________
Showed
a basic
____
________________
____
of subordinates
________________
__
seek advice
Avoid
communication and
relied on
________________
____
4
Principle 2: Connecting is All About Others
“If you first help people get what they want, they will help you get
what you want.” ~ Zig Ziglar
Why I Focused On Myself Instead of Others
1. ____________________
Maturity: The ability to see and act on behalf of
____________________.
2. ____________________
3. ________________________________________
To add value to others, one must value others.
3 Connecting Questions
1. Do you ____________________ for me?
2. Can you ____________________ me?
3. Can I ____________________ you?
5
Principle 3: Connecting Goes Beyond Words
 What we say accounts for only __________ percent of what
is believed.
 The way we say it accounts for __________ percent.
 What others see accounts for __________ percent.
Amazingly, more than __________ percent of the impression we
often convey has nothing to do with what we actually say.
The 3 Components of Communication
____________________: Something we know,
____________________: Something we feel, and
____________________: Something we do.
If I try to communicate . . .
Something I know but do not Feel, my communication is
____________________
Something I know but do not Do, my communication is
____________________
Something I Feel but do not Know, my communication is
____________________
Something I Feel but do not Do, my communication is
____________________
Something I Do but do not Know, my communication is
____________________
6
Something I Do but do not Feel, my communication is
____________________
Action: Something We Do…Connecting ____________________
- What People See
To Connect With People Visually. . .
1. Expand Your Range of ____________________
2. Move With a Sense of ____________________
3. Maintain An Open ____________________
Thought: Something We Know…Connecting
____________________ - What People Understand
Any message you try to convey to others must contain a piece of
you.
Knowledge Must Be ___________________
Nothing can happen through you until it happens in you.
Experience is not only a good teacher. It is a great
____________________.
Emotion: Something We Feel…Connecting
____________________ What People Feel
7
People my hear your words but they feel you
____________________.
People will not always remember what you said.
They will not always remember what you did.
But, they will always remember how you made them feel.
8
Principle 4: Connecting Always Requires Energy
“It doesn’t take a lot of energy to say something. But it does take
a lot of energy to move someone.” ~ John C. Maxwell
How To Connect With People
1. Share memorabilia of your _________________________.
2. Remember their _________________________.
3. Make them feel _________________________.
4. Make your visit _________________________.
5. Make an effort to spend _________________________ with
people.
6. Share your _________________________.
7. Acknowledge them as part of your
_________________________.
The 4 Unpardonable Sins of a Communicator
Being… 1. _________________________
2. _________________________
require effort!
3. _________________________
4. _________________________
9
Note: 3
Connecting Requires…
1. _________________________... Go First!
2. _________________________... Prepare
 ____________________ - Did I do my best?
 ____________________ - Did I please my … (sponsor,
family, employer, etc)?
 ____________________ - Did I understand and relate
to…(audience, family, spouse, etc)
 ____________________ - Did I add value to the people?
 ____________________ - Did I give people a game-plan?
 ____________________ - Did I make a difference?
3. _________________________...Slow Down
4. _________________________...Give
5. _________________________...Recharge
Ways to Recharge
1. Loving ____________________
2. Loving ____________________
10
3. Spending Time with ____________________
4. Handing Off ____________________ Work
5. ____________________
6. Being ____________________
7. ____________________
8. ____________________
11
Principle 5: Connecting Is More Skill Than Natural Talent
“All great speakers were bad speakers first.” ~ Ralph Waldo
Emerson
What Makes People Listen?
1. ____________________ - Who You Know
2. ____________________ - How You Have Lived
3. ____________________ - What You Know
4. ____________________ - What You Have Done
5. ____________________ - What You Can Do
12
Practice 1: Connectors Connect on Common Ground
It is difficult to find common ground with others
when the only person you are focused on is yourself!
Barriers To Finding Common Ground
1. _________________________ - “I already know what
others know, feel, and want.”
“All miscommunications are a result of differing
assumptions.”
~ Jerry Ballard
2. _________________________ - “I don’t need to know what
others know, feel, or want.”
3. _________________________ - “I don’t care to know what
others know, feel, or want.”
4. _________________________ - “I don’t want others to
know what I know, feel, or think.”
Choices That Will Help You Find Common Ground
1. _________________________ - I will choose to spend
time with others.
2. _________________________ - I will listen my way to
common ground.
3. _________________________ - I will be interested
enough in others to ask questions.
13
4. _________________________ - I will think of others and
look for ways to help them.
5. _________________________ - I will let people into my
life.
6. _________________________ - I will care about people.
7. _________________________ - I will think of myself less
so I can think of others more.
Humility is…
1. A capacity for _________________________.
2. Allowing ____________________ to shine.
8. _________________________ - I will move from my
world to theirs.
To Connect on Common Ground, Ask…
 Do I feel what you feel BEFORE asking, “Do you feel what I
feel?”
 Do I see what you see BEFORE asking, “Do you see what I
see?”
 Do I know what you know BEFORE asking, “Do you know
what I know?”
 Do I Know what you want BEFORE asking, “Do you know
what I want?”
14
Practice 2: Connectors Do the Difficult Work of Keeping It Simple
“To be simple is to be great.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Criteria For Good Material
 ____________________ - something that will make people
laugh,
 ____________________ - something that will captivate
people’s emotions,
 ____________________ - something that will inspire
people, and
 ____________________ - something that will help people in
some tangible way.
The “3 S” Strategy Of Communicating
 Keep it ____________________.
 Say it ____________________.
 Have a ____________________.
The Art of Simplicity
1. Talk __________ People, Not _______________ Them.
2. Get to the ____________________.
15
Connectors get to the point before listeners start asking,
“What’s the point?”
3. Say it _______________ and _______________ and
_______________ and
_______________ and _______________ again.
4. Say it ____________________.
“Have an understanding so there won’t be a
misunderstanding.”
~ Charles Blair
5. Say ____________________.
Practice 3: Connectors Create An Experience Everyone Enjoys
How To Be Interesting
1. Take _________________________ For Your Listeners.
In general, there are no bad audiences, only bad speakers.
2. Communication in _________________________.
People don’t remember what we think is important; they
remember what they think is important.
16
3. Capture People’s Attention From The
_________________________.
“People have remote controls in their heads today. If you
don’t catch their interest, they just click you off.” ~Myrna
Marofsky
4. Say It So It _________________________.
Patrick Henry – “Give me liberty or give me death.”
Nathan Hale – “I regret that I have but one life to give for my
country.”
Abraham Lincoln – “A government of the people, by the
people, for the people.”
Winston Churchill – “Never, never, never give up.”
John F. Kennedy – “Ask not what your country can do for
you. Ask what you can do for your country.”
Martin Luther King, Jr. – “I have a dream.”
Ronald Reagan – “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”
17
Practice 4: Connectors Inspire People
The Inspiration Equation
What people ____________________
+ What people ____________________
+ What people ____________________
= _________________________________
What People Need to KNOW:
1. That you ____________________ them and are
___________________ on them.
2. That you have _________________________ of them.
“Management is about persuading people to do things they
do not want to do, while leadership is about inspiring people
to do things they never thought they could.” ~Steve Jobs
What People Need to SEE:
1. People need to see your ____________________.
2. People need to see your ____________________.
The mediocre teacher ____________________.
The good teacher ____________________.
18
The great teacher ____________________.
What People Need to FEEL:
1. The need to feel your ____________________ in yourself
and them.
2. The need to feel your
___________________________________.
Practice 5: Connectors Live What They Communicate
The first six months – communication overrides
_________________________.
After six months – credibility overrides
_________________________.
The Credibility Check-List
1. “Have I connected with ____________________?”
2. “Have I made right my ____________________?”
3. “Am I _________________________?”
When you make a commitment, you create
____________________?
19
When you keep a commitment you create
____________________?
4. “Do I lead like I ____________________?”
5. “Do I tell the ____________________?
6. “Am I _________________________?”
7. “Am I following the _________________________?”
8. “Do I deliver ____________________?”
20