Love and Sexuality
Love in American culture
 What is love? Theoretical approaches
 Sexual values and standards
 Sex in marriage
 Premarital sex and pregnancy
 Gay and lesbian sexuality

Historically
Love, sex, marriage were separate
 19th century: love as pure, spiritual
 Marriage as companionship
 1920’s: sexual liberation
 Today: love, sex before marriage

Cultural Views of Love
(Ann Swidler)

Mythic (Youthful)
–
–
–
–
Choice
Rebellion
Self-realization
Sexual expression

Prosaic (Mature)
–
–
–
–
Commitment
Attachment
Self-sacrifice
Restraint
What is Love? Schacter
Psychology of emotion
 All emotions have 2 components

– Physiological arousal
– Definition of situation (labeling of emotion)
What is Love? Reiss: Wheel Theory
Sociocultural Background
Role conceptions
Intimacy
Rapport
Needs
Mutual
dependency
Selfrevelation
What is Love? Sternberg:
Triangular Theory

3 components to love relationships:
Intimacy
Passion
Decision/commitment
Triangles can take different shapes
 “Match” b/t partners’ triangles is crucial

I
Infatuation
D/C
P
I
I
Empty love
P
D/C
Romantic
love
P
D/C
What is Love? Shaver:
Attachment Theory
Lover as attachment object
 All love relationships are the same:

– Bond depends on AO’s response
– Happier if AO present
– Share more with AO
– Feel at one with AO

Three types of adult attachment
– Secure (56%)
– Anxious/ambivalent (19%)
– Avoidant (24%)
2 Stages of love

Passionate love
– Sexually charged, early in relationship

Companionate love
– Affection and partnership; long-lasting
Sexual Value Systems (Gecas and Libby)
Traditional-religious (began in colonial
times)
 Romantic (late 19th century)
 Recreational (historically applied to men;
more recently to women)
 Utilitarian-predatory (probably always
existed)

Sexual Standards, 2002 (GSS)



Premarital sex: acceptable for adults, not young teens
Homosexuality: Divided opinions
Extramarital sex: not acceptable
Premarital Premarital sex Extramarital Homosexual
(teens 14-16) sex
sex
sex
Always wrong
27.3
72.4
79.1
52.9
Almost always
wrong
8.2
14.7
13.7
4.7
Sometimes wrong 19.9
8.8
4.3
6.9
Not wrong at all
4.2
2.1
31.8
44.5
Sex in Marriage
Is monogamous
 Is part of wider life context
 Involves decisions about parenthood
 More likely to involve contraception

Contraceptive Use, 1995
Pregnancy Prevention
% using
Sterilization
27.9
Pill
17.3
Condom
13.1
Diaphragm, IUD, other
7.6
Periodic abstinence, “natural” FP
1.7
No Pregnancy Prevention
Pregnant, trying to conceive, post-partum, nonsurgically sterile, or not sexually active last 3 mo.
Sexually active, not pregnant or trying, not sterile,
and not contracepting (i.e., “taking chances”)
27.4
5.2
Teenage premarital sex
% of never-married teenagers who ever had intercourse, 2002
Females
Males
All 15-19 year-olds
45.5
45.7
Ages 15-17
30.3
31.3
Ages 18-19
68.8
64.3
Race/ethnic differences in teen sex
% of never-married teens, 15-17, who ever had
intercourse, 2002
70
60
50
White
40
Black
30
Hispanic
20
10
0
Female
Male
Age at first intercourse
Never married teens, ages 15-19, 2002
Female (%)
Male (%)
Under 15
28.6
32.0
15-16
48.0
42.0
17-19
23.3
26.0
# of partners, last 12 months
Never married teens, ages 15-19, 2002
70
60
50
40
Female
30
Male
20
10
0
None
1
2 or 3
4 or more
% not using contraception at first intercourse
Never married teens, ages 15-19, 2002
Age
Females
Males
Under 15
34.8
24.1
15-16
24.1
11.9
17-19
17.4
20.4
Percent of teen births before and after marriage, 1930-1994
Conclusions: Teen sexual behavior






Most teens have had sex by age 18
Boys, minorities start earlier
Typical age is around 15-16
Most have had 0 or 1 partners in 12 mos.
Sex is spontaneous, opportunistic, infrequent
Birth control is often overlooked
– 10% of teen girls 15-19 become pregnant each year
The Teen Pregnancy “Problem”
1/3 of teen pregnancies end in abortion
 Teen pregnancy rate has declined, but
 Most teen births occur outside of marriage
– Blacks: 96%
– Whites, Hispanics: 72%


Many teen mothers keep and raise
children today
Alternative Life-Course Theory
Giving birth as alternative entry to adulthood
– Maybe few other “good” choices
 Grandmothers willing to raise grandchildren
 Community accepts and supports this
 Lack of “eligible” husbands

Consequences for Teenage Mothers
Lower education
 Lower income
 More likely to need public assistance
 More likely to divorce
 Some of these “disadvantages” due to
“selection effect”

Gay and Lesbian Sexuality
Sexual identity: self-identity as
heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual
 Research supports biological component

– Studies of twins, brothers
– May run in families
Environmental factors may play a role
 Controversial – has political implications

Emergence of “Homosexuality”
Ignored until late 19th century
 Sexual acts divided into wrong/not wrong
 OK to express intimate feelings for same sex
 Late 1800s: anti-homosexuality campaign
– Defined as abnormal, mental illness
– Medical model stigmatized homosexuals

1948: Kinsey Report
50% of men reported erotic feeling
toward other men
 1/3 had one experience with another man
 Estimated 10% of men were exclusively
homosexual
 More recent surveys: 4.1 % of men and
2.2 % women

Late 20th Century
1950’s: Homosexuals labeled “security
risks” by govt.
 1960s: Civil rights, women’s movements term “gay” emerged
 2003: Supreme Court struck down laws
against homosexual relations
 Today: Much dissent about gay marriage
 Consensual unions, domestic partners more
accepted

Objections to Gay Marriage
Don’t want to sanction “immoral” behavior
 Seen as threat to traditional marriage
 Cost of providing employee benefits to
more people

– already being done in many organizations
– actual costs have been small
Why Gay Marriage?
Gives gays more acceptance, support
 Provides legal rights of spouse:

– Beneficiary of employee’s pension, insurance
– Joint income tax return
– Social Security benefits, inheritance
– Joint responsibility for children
– Visitation w/children after divorce
– Make decisions if spouse is unable
Summary: Love and Sexuality
Shift from economics to emotional bond
 Growth of alternatives to marriage
 Result:

– marriage as voluntary
– marriage based on love, compatibility
– sex before marriage
– family as individually defined
– More acceptance of homosexuality