Self-Disclosure in Relationships
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PowerPoint Presentation to accompany Looking Out, Looking In, Tenth Edition Chapter 8: Communication and Relational Dynamics Presentation prepared by Dr. Michael Pearson, Gretchen Gill, and Tim Scanlon of West Chester University Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. Thomson Learning™ is a trademark used herein under license. For permission to use material from this text, contact us by: Phone: 1-800-730-2214 Fax: 1-800-730-2215 Web: www.thomsonrights.com Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. CHAPTER 8 Communication and Relational Dynamics Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. Communication and Relational Dynamics • Why We Form Relationships • Models of Relational Development and Maintenance • Self-Disclosure in Relationships • Alternatives to Self-Disclosure Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Why We Form Relationships Attraction • • • • • Similarity and complementarity Reciprocal Attraction Competence Disclosure Proximity Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Why We Form Relationships Intimacy • • • • Dimensions of Intimacy Masculine and Feminine Intimacy Styles Cultural Influences on Intimacy The Limits of Intimacy Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Why We Form Relationships Rewards Social Exchange Theory • We often seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them. • Rewards – Costs = Outcomes Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Developmental Models Relational Maintenance - communication aimed at keeping relationships operating smoothly and satisfactorily • • • • • Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating Bonding Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Developmental Models • • • • • Differentiating Circumscribing Stagnating Avoiding Terminating Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Dialectical Perspectives Dialectical tensions - conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously • Connection vs. Autonomy • Predictability vs. Novelty • Openness vs. Privacy Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Dialectical Perspectives Strategies for Managing Dialectical Tensions: • Denial • Disorientation • Alternation • Balance • Integration • Recalibration • Reaffirmation Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Characteristics of Relational Development and Maintenance • Relationships are constantly changing • Movement is always to a new place Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Self-Disclosure in Relationships Self-Disclosure - the process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and that would not normally be known by others Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Self-Disclosure in Relationships Degrees of Self- Disclosure Social penetration model • Breadth • Depth Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Self-Disclosure in Relationships Degrees of Self- Disclosure • Cliches - “How are you” or “We will have to get together soon” • Facts - “I’m practically engaged,” when meeting a stranger • Opinions - “I am against abortion” or “Cheesecake stinks” • Feelings - “Tell me what’s on your mind” Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Self-Disclosure in Relationships A Model of Self-Disclosure Johari Window • open area- information of which both you and the other person are aware • blind area- information of which you are unaware but of which the other person is aware • hidden area- information you know but will not share • unknown area- information unknown to you and others Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Self-Disclosure in Relationships Characteristics of Self-Disclosure • Self-disclosure usually occurs in dyads. • Self-disclosure occurs incrementally. • Relatively few transactions involve high levels of selfdisclosure. • Self-disclosure is relatively scarce. • Self-disclosure usually occurs in the context of positive relationships. Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Self-Disclosure in Relationships Reasons for Self-Disclosure • • • • • • • • Catharsis Self-Clarification Self-Validation Reciprocity Identity Management Relationship Maintenance and Enhancement Social Control Manipulation Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Self-Disclosure in Relationships Guidelines for Self-Disclosure • • • • Is the other person important to you? Is the risk of disclosing reasonable? Is the disclosure relevant to the situation at hand? Are the amount type of disclosure appropriate? Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Self-Disclosure in Relationships Guidelines for Self-Disclosure • Will the effect be constructive? • Is the self-disclosure clear and understandable? • Is the disclosure reciprocated? Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Alternatives to Self-Disclosure Lying White Lie - is defined (at least by the teller) as unmalicious, or even helpful to the person to whom it is told Reasons for Lying 1. To save face 2. To avoid tension/conflict 3. To guide social interaction 4. To expand or reduce relationships 5. To gain power Effects of Lies - What are the consequences of discovering that you’ve been lied to? Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Alternatives to Self-Disclosure Equivocating Equivocal language - Ambiguous language that has two or more equally plausible meanings. The value of equivocation: • It spares the receiver from embarrassment. • It can save face for both the sender and receiver. • It provides an alternative to lying. Hinting A hint seeks to get a desired response from another person. Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.. Alternatives to Self-Disclosure The Ethics of Evasion Some argue that the morality of a speaker’s motives for lying ought to be judged, not the lie itself, and others ask whether the effects of a lie will be worth the deception. Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc..
