Restorative Practices
What it means and why it works for
everyone!
AIM OF RESTORATIVE PRACTICE IN
SCHOOL COMMUNITIES
To manage conflict and
tensions by repairing harm and
strengthening relationships as a
way of building community.
What Restorative Means
Restorative means ‘making things new again’
What do you need to do to ‘restore’ your
relationship if you hurt somebody or make that
person feel sad?
To be ‘restorative’ you need to say sorry, not do
it again and make things right by talking about
it so you can still be friends.
Explaining The Practice
People often ask the following question:
“When people do the wrong thing, how do you
challenge them so they stop and think about what
they did, take responsibility for their behaviour, and
importantly not be resentful towards you?”
Relationships and Learning
Basic Concepts:
• Good relationships are the basis for learning.
• Anything that affects relationships [such as
inappropriate behaviour] impacts on learning.
• Challenging inappropriate behaviour needs to
be experienced as an opportunity for learning.
“Learning is enhanced by challenge and is
impeded by threat.”
As a society when someone does the wrong
thing, what is our most usual response?
Blame & Punishment
What is the first question we ask when
someone does the wrong thing?
If we ask ‘why’, what answers do you expect to
get?
What is the problem with the ‘why’ question?
How does blame impact on learning?
Simple Contrast
Adversarial (Blame) approach:
“What happened, who is to blame,
what punishment or sanction is
needed?”
Restorative approach:
“What happened, what harm has
resulted and what needs to happen to
make things right?”
Adversarial
Restorative
Focus is in the past
Focus in past, present &
future
Preoccupied with blame Emphasis on resulting
harm
Deterrence linked to
Deterrence linked to
punishment
relationships and
personal accountability
‘Consequences [may include punishment] are
an important part of Restorative Practice. This
involves dialogue and respectful challenge.’
So,what does Restorative Practice look like?
Restorative Practice Checklist
• The practice would need to be respectful and fair
• It would focus upon repairing harm and restoring or
building relationships.
• It would help develop empathy, responsibility and
accountability.
• It would promote the likelihood of positive behavioural
change.
HIGH
TO
WITH
Mean
Rude
Restorative
NOT
FOR
Slack
Lazy
Too Soft
Weak
Rules
Great
Firm
LOW
Adapted from Social Discipline Window - Paul McCold and Ted Wachtel - 2000
HIGH
Fair Process
What needs to happen for fair process
to be experienced?
Clue:
Think of an experience in which you felt
you were treated unfairly. What was
missing or was needed to make it a ‘fair’
experience.
Kim & Mauborgne, Harvard Business Review, July – August 1997
Fair Process Principles
1. Engagement - Opportunity to have a say.
2. Explanation- Understand the reasons for
the decision.
3. Expectation Clarity - Shared understanding
on what is expected in terms of behaviour and
rules.
Kim & Mauborgne, Harvard Business Review, July – August 1997
What Fair Process Isn’t
• Consensus or to seek harmony.
• Compromise to accommodate every
individual’s opinions, needs or interest.
• Democracy in the school (or any group
process)
• Teachers, parents or others forfeiting their
prerogative to make decisions, establish
policies and procedures.
Kim & Mauborgne, Harvard Business Review, July – August 1997
What Fair Process Achieves
Fair process builds:
• trust
• commitment
• co-operation
This enhances learning, creativity, moral
development and helps build stronger
relationships.
Kim & Mauborgne, Harvard Business Review, July – August 1997
Restorative Questions 1
When challenging behaviour, why would
the following questions consistently
achieve ‘fair process’?:
•
•
•
•
What happened?
What were you thinking at the time?
What have you thought about since?
Who has been affected by what you
did?
• In what way?
• What do you think you need to do to
make things right?
Nathanson’s Compass Of Shame
WITHDRAWAL
ATTACK OTHERS
ATTACK SELF
AVOIDANCE
NATHANSON 1992
NATHANSON 1994
POLAR RESPONSES TO SHAME
WITHDRAWAL :
isolating oneself; running
and hiding.
AVOIDANCE
denial; drugs and alcohol;
work alcoholism.
:
ATTACK OTHERS: lashing out verbally or
physically; blaming others.
ATTACK SELF:
self put-down; masochism.
How Parents Deal With Shame
What would it be like for the parent who
receives a call from the school in relation
to their child’s behaviour?
What emotions would they experience?
How do they usually deal with the painful
emotions?
A mother recently responded in the
following way……….
A Mother’s Response to the Dreaded Call
“I have to get out of the house, away from
everybody!” [WITHDRAWAL]
“When I come back I have to eat chocolate to feel
okay!” [AVOIDANCE]
“Then I think, the bloody school is always picking
on my kid!” [ATTACK OTHERS]
“By the time I have arrived at the school, I feel like
I’m a really bad parent!” [ATTACK SELF]
“I realise however that when I go to defend my kid,
it is all about how I deal with my painful emotions,
and has nothing to do with my kid’s behaviour!”
Responding Positively To The Call
What would a positive response for
parents look like?
Try saying the following:
“I really appreciate the call. I think this is a
wonderful growth opportunity for my child
and myself!”
Possible Answer
“Mrs Smith, I am ringing about an incident involving Paul. He has
admitted to stealing an iPod from another student. You may be
aware that at our school we deal with anything that goes wrong
in Restorative ways. This means we focus on three things. What
happened? Who has been harmed or hurt? And, what is needed
to make things right? In talking with Paul he now understands the
hurt he has caused and also mentioned that you will be very
disappointed. The good news is that he is keen to make things
right and wants you to be part of this happening. Paul is not a
bad student. It is his behaviour we are concerned about. This is
an opportunity for learning, one that Paul will look back on and
feel good about, because he took responsibility by making things
right with everyone. ”
GOOD RELATIONSHIPS
Are Experienced When We:
1.Share and reduce negative emotions (best achieved
by listening and acknowledging)
2.Share and promote positive emotions (achieved by
affirming)
3.Encouraging the venting of emotions as a way of
experiencing 1 & 2.
4. Doing more of 1, 2 and 3 (essential for building and
maintaining good relationships).
Nathanson 1992
Restorative Practice Checklist
Is My Practice?
•
Respectful (Distinguishing behaviour from the person)
•
Fair (Engaging, with Explanations & clarify Expectations)
•
Restorative by repairing harm and building relationships
Does My Practice?
•
Develop Empathy (through reflection, insight & learning)
•
Enhance responsibility and accountability
•
Promote positive behavioural change