English 105
Teri Tosspon, Meeting 3
Agenda
• Fragments
• Lead-ins/hooks & conclusions
• Peer Revision of Description!
Talking in fragments
• Many times, when we speak, we use
fragments.
– By the context, we can tell what the other
person means.
•
•
•
•
Doug: Had any test results yet?
Nelida: Nothing statistically significant.
Doug: Not good.
Nelida: Back to step one.
Talking in fragments
• However, when we write (unless we are
directly quoting a conversation), we need to
formalize the writing.
– By the context, we can tell what the other person
means.
•
•
•
•
Doug: Have you had any test results yet?
Nelida: The results weren’t statistically significant.
Doug: That is not good.
Nelida: We will have to go back to step one.
Complete Sentences
To be complete, a sentence must have
• a subject
and
• a verb
and
• express a completed idea.
Example:
•My homework is taking every waking hour.
Complete sentence!
INCLUDES
•Subject (My homework)
•Verb (is taking)
and
• Expresses a complete idea (every waking hour).
Sometimes the Object.
Fragment
A Fragment is piece of a sentence
 can be missing a subject,
 can be missing a verb,
 or can fail to express a
completed idea.
Fragments
The architect to my office.
 No VERB: Doesn’t express the action
Brought the plans to my office.
 No SUBJECT: Doesn’t explain who or what
The architect brought.
 No COMPLETED IDEA. Brought what?
Identify Fragments: Exercise 1
1. F
2. F
3. S
4. F
5. F
6. S
7. S
8. F
9. F
10. S
11.S
12.F
13.S
14.F
15.S
16.F
17.S
18.F
19.F
20. S
How do you correct a fragment?
• Add the missing parts!
• Join the fragment to the
sentence where it belongs.
• Remove the
adverb/prepositional phrase
causing fragmentation.
Exercise 2
1.
Betsycan't
can’t
have
meeting
at her
house
1. Betsy
have
thethe
meeting
at her
house.
becauseher
her
little
brother
measles.
Because
little
brother
hashas
the the
measles.
2.No
Changeis everywhere around us. It is in the air
2.
Electricity
and in the ground.
3.
We cleaned
cleanedthe
thethree
threelittle
little
fishHoping
hoping
that
3. We
fish.
that
nobodywould
would
catch.
nobody
askask
to to
seesee
ourour
catch.
4. Thoreau
Thoreauspent
spentmore
morethan
than
two
years
at Walden
two
years
at Walden
Pond.
shed.
PondLiving
livinginina aone-room
one-room
shed.
5.
with
Elaine.
Who
5. II promised
promisedtotogo
gototothe
themovies
movies
with
Elaine,
would
never
forgive
me
if
I
went
swimming
who would never forgive me if I went
instead.
swimming instead.
Exercise 2
6. Many
students
belong
to Junior
Achievement.
6. Many
students
to Junior
Achievement.
Founded
Founded
in 1919,
it is a national
organization
that
in 1919,
it is a national
organization
that helps
to
leadership.
helpsdevelop
to develop
leadership.
7. No7.change.
Pollyanna never gossips. If she can't think of
something nice to say about another girl, she
say anything.
8. Mariadoesn't
Martinez,
an Indian girl, gained fame for her
8. Maria Martinez,
Indianwas
girl, based
gainedon
fame
for
outstanding
potteryanwhich
ancient
her outstanding pottery. Based on ancient
methods.
methods.
9. No9.
Change.
the fisherman put (complete the though).
10. "A10.
stitch
timein
saves
nine"
is an
old proverb
which
can be
"A in
stitch
time
saves
nine"
is an old
proverb.
applied
to many
situations.
Which
candaily
be applied
to many daily situations.
Watch Out for a Common Trap!
Just because you write a lot of
words, you don’t necessarily have
a complete sentence.
Although I have tried many ways to get an “A”, such as
paying off the professor and offering to carry her books
to class each day and assuring her that I love my writing
class more than life itself.
FRAGMENT! You haven’t finished the “although” idea, so you haven’t
finished your thought.
But you knew that, because you
remembered that…
…a sentence is not complete or correct,
unless
• It has a subject;
• it has a verb,
• and it expresses a
complete idea.
Which would you rather visit & why?
Beginnings and Endings.
Chapter 4, pg 81.
Lead Ins: The “front door” to your paper.
1. paradoxical/intriguing
statement
2. Shocking/arresting
statistic
3. A question
4. Quote
5. Joke/story/anecdote
6. Description, emotional
7. Factual statement
8. Analogy/comparison
9. before-after scenario
10. Personal experience
11. List of facts (catalog)
12. Statement of problem
or misconception
13. Brief dialogue
14. Proverb, maxim,
motto
15. Insight, revelation
16. Appeal to common
experience
Avoid Errors in Lead-Ins
•
•
•
•
Make sure your lead-in introduces your thesis
Keep your lead-in brief
Don’t begin with an apology or complaint
Don’t assume your audience already knows
your subject matter
• Stay clear of overused lead-ins (dictionary
definitions anyone?!)
Practicing what you’ve learned: pg 85
Describe the lead-ins in the paragraphs. May be more
than one “type” that has been blended!
1. proverb
Concluding paragraphs: pg 86
1. A Summary of the
thesis and the essay’s
major points
2. An evaluation of the
importance
3. A statement of broader
implications
4. A recommendation or
call to action
5. A warning based on
the essay’s thesis
6. A quotation from an
authority
7. An anecdote/brief
example that
emphasizes/sums up
8. Image or description
9. Rhetorical question
10. Forecast
11. Ironic twist, pun,
witticism, playful use
of words
12. Return to the
technique you used in
the lead-in
Avoid Errors in Conclusions
• Don’t introduce new points/irrelevant material
• Don’t just tack on a conclusion.
• Don’t change your stance.
• Avoid trite expressions
• Don’t insult or anger your reader.
“What Is Poverty”
Group Assignment (1 pg per group)
“What is Poverty” (see handout or website)
1. Identify a quote for each of these 5 areas:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Sight
Sound
Smell
Taste
Touch/Texture
Done? Turn in work. Go
2. Respond to the piece –
to break! Come back @
11:10am.
Did you like it? Dislike it?
3. This shows description used for a purpose,
what is that purpose?
Peer Revision
Peer Editing
•
Always remember these lessons:
Do’s
Don’ts
– A good peer editor makes a better
-Take this serious, you will be
-Correct
every
spelling/
self-editor
because
you
learn
by
graded on the quality and
grammar mistake (the author
correcting
other peoples’
work!
quantity
of your comments.
should use spell check!)
-Fill thepaper
paper with vague
– Treat your peer’s
like
comments like “great job”
you’ll be graded
on his/her
and “interesting”
-Explain
your comments,
so ifweaknesses.
errors
and
-Insult the author
you say “I Liked it,” explain
-Comment in a polite,
respectful language/tone
why! If you say “this is bad”
explain how to improve it.
-Phrases such as “this sucks”,
instead phrase as “This could be
better if you added in…”
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Follow the Handout
1. Read aloud to paper owner. (allow markup by paper
owner, but editor/reviser don’t do anything but read).
2. Peer Revision: read to yourself.
• Sensory Descriptions • Logic/organization
• MLA format
• Lead Ins
• Conclusion
3. Return to paper’s author.
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Homework
• Descriptive Essay Final Draft
email to ttosspon@gmail.com by 9am 08/08.
– File name: Lastname_Descriptive.doc or .docx
– Will turn in hard copies of Peer Revision, Rough
Draft, and Pre-Write next week!
• Journal 2 – write about anything you want!
1-2 pgs, in MLA format, emailed or turned in
by 9am next week.