Summer Institute of Theology and Disability
2015
Negotiating Boundaries
Exploring Creative Forms of Writings in the Context of
Mental Illness
Presented by Priscilla Oh
Introduction
“ I became a great question to myself.” - Augustine
Outline
Writing as Calling and Journey
Theology by Heart
Negotiating Emotional Challenges in the
Context of Mental Illness
Reflexive Practice
Exploring Creative forms of
writings
The purpose of this workshop is to develop ways
in which our personal experiences in particular,
living with mental illness or disabilities or a
shared life with mental illness might be
expressed creatively and theologically.
Through writing our stories, we want to create a
space of reflecting our lives, writing as a tool to
interpret and understand the emotional aspects
of our life in the context of mental illness.
Writing as Calling & Journey
Before we get into deep conversation, I would like to
introduce various forms of writings as a theological method
which includes writing theological memoir, autoethnography
and life-writing.
I want us to have the opportunity to approach our life and
reflect upon the development of the self which entails
exploring our sense of the self, identity and purpose of our
lives.
As Christians we also want to raise our consciousness in
particular importance in understanding of God in our lives
in a meaningful way.
Writing as Calling and
Journey
Autoethnography – a kind of qualitative research method that
considers personal experience at the core of investigation
critically in connection to cultural and social practice and the
method acknowledges an intricate relationship with others
Theological Memoir – “ a history and interpretation of a
person’s life written by the person who experienced it,
considered in relation to its spiritual foundations.” (Walton
2014)
Writing our stories…
Writing our stories…
Writing our stories can reinforce the belief that life is
meaningful.
Through writing about and reflecting on our life stories, and
discussing them in the groups, we can be helped to come to
terms with our lives. It helps to overcome a victim perspective,
and to meet the future changes with increased confidence and
competence. (Randall and Kenyon, 2001; Staude, 2008, p.252)
Writing about one’s life may attain emotional release, catharsis,
or self-healing, feeling oneself from a painful or inadequately
integrated past experience, such as loss of loved ones.
Writing as a journey of
discovery
Writing theological memoir and personal life-writings can
generate a personal journey to understanding and knowing
oneself consciously connecting to historical cultural
background.
Autobiographical – theological – life writing can be
identified as a journey of discovery and identified as the “
autobiographical imperative” in composing ourselves
Theology by Heart
“ God is experienced as immanent, personal and intimate,
speaking through the interiority of human experience. Record
of such experience – journaling, autobiography,
psychotherapeutic account of self – are vehicles of theological
reflection and construction.” (Graham and Walton, 2005)
Theological reflection – a theological activity which enables
people of faith to give an account of the values and traditions
that underpin their values and choices and deepens their
understanding.
Confessions –Augustine’s Life-Writing
In his Confessions, Augustine found himself as an internal quest of
his soul, and he found a very difficult quest of himself: “ How
could the mind hope to contain the mystery of God? The house
of my soul is too narrow for thee,” and he wrote, “ I do not grasp
all that I am.” (Confessions, Bk 10)
A successful attempt to unify and cohere experience in a single
narrative that consolidates the author in relation to God.
(Anderson, 2004)
Like Augustine’s Confessions, telling our stories and writing
about them coherently will function in creating a healing
coherence where we can assemble our disparate stories of our life
into a story that can be told about a person who is beloved or
significant in our lives to us. (Walton, 2014)
“What community do I belong to ?” :
Clarifying religious identity and location in
self-accounts
“ I suspect that when Modern Americans ask,
“What is sacred?” They are really asking “What
place is mine? What community do I belong to”
(Norris 1995)
Telling you who we are can be a challenging for us
to see the areas of our lives that are hidden and
unaware of.
Kathleen Norris charts her life in Dakota: a
Spiritual Geography.
“What community do I belong to?”
Norris’ autobiography clarifies and relates to a variety of
placement and identity in herself account. She identifies her
physical location, Dakota, as a place where she actively affiliated
to the church community and participated in the discipline of
neighboring Monastery and her vocation as a poet.
In her writing, Norris was eager to clarify why being where she
is has positive effects on her in order to commend placement
by her readers.
By affirming a religious identity with a physical location, she
also believes that dwelling places do carry moral and spiritual
consequences. For her, the affirmation of place relation to her
religious identity is inseparable. (Kort 2012)
Theological Memoir
“Hannah’s Child”
Similar to Augustine’s Confessions, Stanley Hauerwas testifies his
life-time project about what it means to be a Christian
theologian in his self-account, Hannah’s Child.
“ In this entrancing memoir, Stanley Hauerwas reflects on what
he sees as the successes and failures of his life as one of the
most celebrated theological ethicists of his time. It is, of course,
the accounts of his perceived personal failures that are the most
testing and moving: what breaks and stops even his own best
motivations and intentions are the stuff of profound Christian
reflection. This little autobiography follows triumphantly in the
Augustinian tradition of “ confessions”. (Sarah Coakly)
Theological Memoir
Hauerwas’s memoir is candid and even humorous at times. In
particular, his reflection on his relationships are honest and
profoundly moving. In his memoir, Hauerwas is not shy of his
conviction as a narrative based formed Christian. As he
courageously opens up on a life-long engagement of a theological
question, what it means to be a Christian, he attempts God’s
presence known every aspect of life with challenge, contingency
and consequences.
On the other side of his tale, he tells us of a secret story of his
marriage living with a spouse suffering from manic depression.
In retrospect, he tells us about the disruptive, uncontrollable and
painful memories of his marriage life as a truthful tale. In this
memoir, Hauerwas reveals the emotional dimension of how he
negotiated his spouse’s illness situation and shows distinctive
contingencies that he faced as a husband.
Emotional Dimensions in facing
mental illness situation
The unique grief felt by family members remains a total
mystery to so many of our neighbours. Such a loss is not
recognised. (Govig 1999, p. 26)
“Grief is the normal but bewildering cluster of ordinary human
emotions arising in response to significant loss, intensified and
complicated by the relationship to the person or the object
lost.” (Anderson 2010, p.127)
Emotional dimensions in the
context of mental illness
“ Emotional anomie” – To make sense of a beloved one’s
mental illness in a family environment, often relatives, families
and spouses experience confusion. Prior to psychiatric
diagnosis, caregivers and families have no normative basis for
understanding the behaviour of a mentally ill person. They
simply do not know what to feel. David Karp appropriately
called this process as ‘ emotional anomie’. (Karp 2001, p. 7585)
When the family is involved with the process of accepting a
member with a mental illness, as a result of attempting to
provide continual care for the beloved one they often continue
with sorrow and defeat.
The experience of living closely with a
person suffering from a long term
mental illness
Most families are affected by a family member’s mental illness
situation to a higher degree and they feel like they are not living
their own life.
They found themselves in difficulty to have balanced relationship.
They struggle to get their voice heard within the health care
system.
They have difficulty in re-evaluating their circumstances.
(Stijernswärd and Östman 2008, p. 358-367)
Implications of these burden factors are the most predictive
factors for the effect of the household routine disruption and
predictor of the psychological distress. (Noh and Turner, 1987,
p.23)
An example of developing an
evocative writing style
I began to recognise the sign of helplessness and my inner
struggles in facing my friend’s mental illness situation, I
started to look for an emotional space where I can express
my emotional burdens within the boundary of my ordinary
life. Writing autoethnography actually helps to reflect on my
relationship to her but also my response to the illness
situation as well. What was helpful for me about this process
was that I was able to express my experience as a form of
lament from a massive writing that I produced while
constructing my stories.
Here is an example: “ A Lament for a Friend”
A Lament for a Friend
I. Home
To my delight, though you come to me in darkness, grief
and loneliness, you have become companion of the light
that rises in Christ
However apprehensive and anxious you were, I welcomed you.
Though you fear making mistakes, you would consent to
make yourself at home. It was my delight
Waking up in the morning I hear the sound of birds singing. How
refreshing!
To my amazement, you came to me with the gloomy face and you
said, “ foreboding”. What a day of start for you dear friend.
A Lament for a Friend
II. In the Winter
In the solitude of winter, I walked along the street of New Haven. Your
life withdrawn into a hospital ward, having known fully how difficult
it was for you then, I hoped that you would be out of the ward soon.
At the end of December, I found you at the back of your bedroom, your
eyes turned to me and said, “ I could not sleep.” I knew then you
were downtrodden.
Dear Friend,
On that day, the morning was bright under the still fall of snow, whiteness
touched the world perfectly. It was such a beautiful start of the day. I
remembered what our neighbour Theodore said to me, “ I love the
frosty and bright winter of Ipswich. Isn’t this a beautiful morning?”
But for you, you were in darkness and pain.
A Lament for a Friend
III. We Prayed
Alas! Out of silence, the words come. I read Psalm 13,
“How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with
sorrow in my heart every day?” “How long will my
enemy have the upper hand?”
I exclaimed, “ How long O Lord must I endure? Help my
countenance.”
“ Turn to me and answer me O Lord. Restore the sparkle of
my eyes,” we prayed. “ Lord, give us hope, hear our cries
and comfort us,” we prayed
Reflexive Practice
Auto (theo)biographical Theology
Reflexivity – the exercise of reflexivity is the key for
writing autobiographical, life-writing or theological
memoir in theological refection.
Reflexivity is an intentional and disciplined form of
reflection on how the personal, social and cultural context
of the author/ researcher not only affects what is
researched, that is, the choice of particular field of study,
but also the way that the research is conducted.
Reflexive Practice in Writings
Reflexivity is described as, ‘ a mode of knowing which accepts the
impossibility of the researcher standing outside of the research
field and seeks to incorporate that knowledge corporately and
effectively. (Swinton and Mowatt 2006, p.59)
My approach to auto/theo graphical life-writing is based on the
assumption that accepting the personal and social situation of
knowing includes accepting our involvement of belief and faith.
This is an important process of writing as a Christian theologian,
it sets out to see how our own theologies are situated in personal
and social context as a subjective enterprise where our theology
begins to shape.
Writing our stories theologically can not only be a starting point
of the healing process as a way of knowing, but also as a mode of
illuminating that we can hope for renewing our mind and for
transformation.