Pastoral Care
An Introduction
Why is Pastoral Care Important?
• What is your understanding of pastoral
care?
• Most rewarding part of providing pastoral
care?
• Most challenging part of providing
pastoral care?
What is Pastoral Care?
• Pastoral care is the ministry of care and
counseling provided by pastors, chaplains, and
other religious leaders to members of their
church, congregation or persons within a faithbased institution. This can range anywhere
from home visitation to formal counseling
provided by pastors who are licensed to offer
counseling services. This is also frequently
referred to as spiritual care.
• 'Pastoral care' is also a term applied where
people offer help and caring to others in their
church or wider community. Pastoral care in
this sense can be applied to listening,
supporting, encouraging and befriending.
Counseling: What Is It?
• Assisting people to change or to cope with
change that has occurred
Who Needs Counseling?
• Everyone! Including the pastor/counselor.
• Three reasons:
– (1) Creation - because we are human & need
truth outside ourselves
– (2) Fall
– (3) Redemption – the heart is deceitful, sinful
Counseling: Faith Working Through
Love
• “A relationship of trusted motive prevails
only when you as a Christian pastor
voluntarily accept and effectively carry
through with your power as a
representative of the love of Christ. You
are a servant of people for Jesus’ sake.
The effectiveness of all pastoral
procedures depends upon the singleness
of this motivation, . . .” (Oates, The Christian Pastor, 78)
• “Every knowledge of the human heart,
every skill in dealing with human problems,
is as dangerous as it is useful, and ordinarily
it is the presence or absence of the love of
Christ that makes the difference.”
•
Wayne E. Oates, The Christian Pastor, 3rd ed, rev. (Philadelphia:
Westminster, 1982), 81.
Effectiveness in Counseling
• The basic characteristics of a helping
relationship are:
• accurate empathy
• nonpossessive warmth
– A real interest in the person, a sincere
concern for him or her; an outgoing
positive action involving active, personal
participation
• inherent genuineness
Effectiveness as a Counselor
• Character Qualities
– Humility
• accurate self-assessment, flexibility of spirit
– Love
• encouragement & hope, servant attitude
– Faithfulness
• dependability, discipline
– Spiritual Maturity
• personal holiness, Biblical/theological wisdom
Effectiveness as a Counselor
• Functional Qualities
– Building relationships
• gentleness, kindness, sensitive, peacemaking
– Understanding the counselee’s environment
• data gathering, uncovering heart issues
– Communicating
• listening, other-centeredness, clarity presenting
gospel
– Planning Action
• application, oversight/accountability,
encouragement/admonition
Context for Effective Counseling
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Safe environment - safe, “holding” environment
Comfortable - lighting; air; furniture; tissues
Confidentiality
Non-distracting
Furniture Arrangement - extra chairs & couch
Forms & Record-keeping
Lending Library
Referral Network in place
9 Things To Remember About The Counselee
1) Acknowledge hurdles many overcame just to
contact you for help (self-image issues)
2) Recognize risks & exposure (vulnerability)
3) Each seeks, & needs, a place of security &
safety
4) Recognize that some, if not most, do not want
to be there
5) Be aware of the tension between request for
help & refusal of it
6) Each comes with ideas, assumptions, &
expectations that need to be explored (pastor
as mind-reader, “fix-it” person, condoner of
sin, etc.)
7) The 1-to-1 relationship and total privacy may
stir up intense and disturbing fantasy &
perception formations
8) Gender issues warrant consideration
9) Clear boundaries are essential. The counselor
bears final responsibility for establishing,
maintaining, & rectifying appropriate
boundaries.
Assessment in Counseling with Adults
• Basic anxiety & neuroses (disorder in how
one thinks about oneself and one’s life)
• Depression
• Psychotic (inability to distinguish reality from
fantasy; impaired reality testing)
• Neurological (organic mental disorder,
mental retardation; Alzheimer's; etc.)
Assessment
• Spiritual – the heart
• Psychological (mental, emotional, social)
• Medical
• Combination of the above
Assessment
• Distinguish between:
–CONTENT
–PROCESS
Assessment
• CONTENT: “laundry list” of items or
complaints
• PROCESS: the dynamics of the major
issues; the source of the
“laundry list”
• Need to focus on both; especially process.
The Phases of Counseling
• Beginning
– Middle
»Ending
The Phases of Counseling 2
• Beginning: joining; establishing rapport; &
assessment
– Practice how you begin!!
• Middle: changing; ebb & flow of progress
• Ending: consolidating changes; blessing;
termination
Assessment: The “Magic” ???s
– These questions are “magic” in the sense that “they provide focus
and perspective on almost any situation, enabling one to know at
least something about how to deal with it.”
• John Patton, Pastoral Counseling: A Ministry of the Church. Nashville: Abingdon,
1983, 90.
• Question #1 - “What are you looking for?”
– Focus: communicates it’s their responsibility
– Perspective: helps identify their needs
Assessment: The “Magic” ???s 2
• Question #2 - “Why now?”
– Focus: identifies the urgency
– Perspective: sense of hopefulness/possibility*
• Things have changed and, thus, can change again
Assessment: The “Magic” ???s
• Question #3 - “Why me and this place?”
– Focus: acknowledges the importance of the
relationship
– Perspective: identifies unrealistic expectations
Assessment: The “Magic” ???s
• Question #4 - “What hurts?”
– Focus: the person’s problem or concern
– Perspective: listening stance
How You Begin May Determine
the Outcome
Supportive Counseling
• “The sustaining function of the cure of
souls in our day continues to be a crucially
important helping ministry . . . .”
– William A Clebsch & Charles R. Jaekle, Pastoral Care in
Historical Perspective (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall,
1964), 80, emphasis added.
Supportive Counseling
• “In supportive care and counseling, the
pastor uses methods that stabilize,
undergird, nurture, motivate, or guide
troubled persons—enabling them to
handle their problems and relationships
more constructively . . . .”
•
Howard Clinebell, Basic Types, rev. ed.
(Nashville, TN: Abingdon, 1984), 170.
Supportive Counseling
• Supportive counseling is the primary
approach used in crisis intervention and in
bereavement (grief) counseling.
• A dependable, nurturing relationship (Oates:
“relationship of trusted motive”) is at the heart
of the process.
• Danger: development of unconstructive
dependency
Supportive Counseling
• Types of counselor responses/interventions:
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Evaluative - judgment of behaviors, actions, attitudes
Interpretive - informing; teaching
Supportive - reassurance to reduce anxiety
Probing - gather more data; questions
Understanding - communicate empathy; reassurance
Advising - recommendations; suggestions
Transference: “Don’t I Know You??”
• Transference: the phenomenon of
reacting to a person as if he/she is
another person from one’s past. “A
distorted and inappropriate response
derived from unresolved unconscious
conflicts in a person’s past.”
– (See Richard S. Schwartz, “A Psychiatrist’s View of Transference &
Countertransference in the Pastoral Relationship” in Journal of Pastoral Care
43 (1), Spring 1989, 41-42.)
Transference &
Countertransference
• Transference refers to thoughts, feelings,
attitudes, & behaviors of the counselee
toward the counselor or of the parishioner
toward the pastor.
• Countertransference refers to the same
process in reverse: the pastor’s thoughts,
feelings, etc. toward the parishioner.
Triangulation
• Three people stuck in repetitive, malicious
patterns of interaction.
– Common triangles encountered in ministry:
couples, parents & children, church group
conflict, issues, etc.
Never Underestimate the
Effectiveness of . . .
the Ministry of Listening
Hearing vs. Listening
“Was I paying
attention?”
Hearing vs. Listening
• Do you think there is a difference between
hearing and listening?
– You are right, there is!
• Hearing is simply the act of perceiving sound
by the ear. If you are not hearing-impaired,
hearing simply happens.
• Listening, however, is something you
consciously choose to do. Listening requires
concentration so that your brain processes
meaning from words and sentences. Listening
leads to learning.
Most people
tend to be "hard
of listening"
rather than "hard
of hearing."
Listening
. . . is intermittent.
. . . is a learned skill.
. . . is active.
. . . implies using the message received.
The Process of Listening
Obstacles to Effective Listening
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Physical distractions
Psychological distractions
Factual distractions
Semantic distractions
Promoting Better Listening
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Desire to listen.
Focus on the message.
Listen for main ideas.
Understand the speaker’s
point of view.
Promoting Better Listening cont.
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Withhold judgment.
Reinforce the message.
Provide feedback.
Listen with the body.
Listen critically.
Types of Listening
• Active vs. Passive
• Positive vs. Negative
• What Kind is it?
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Appreciative
Empathic
Discriminative
Analytical
What is Interactive Listening?
• Cultivated skill involving the goaloriented active, positive process of
receiving and attending to aural stimuli
• Conscious elimination of perceptual
barriers
Improving Your Listening Skills
• Identify Objectives
• Know Your Listening Habits
• Generate Motivation and Energy
• Eliminate Distractions
• Ask questions
– Closed
– Open
– Probing
• Evaluate Your Progress
Effective Listening
• Effective listening requires an understanding that
it is not just the speaker's responsibility to make
sure he/she is understood.
• The listener has a major role to play in hearing the
complete message.
• The following ideas will assist the listener in
understanding the message.
Ten Commandments of Effective
Listening
1. Stop talking! You cannot listen when you are talking. You will only be
thinking about what you are going to say next instead of paying attention to
what the other person is trying to say. Consciously focus your attention on the
speaker.
2. Put the speaker at ease: Relax, smile, look at the speaker and help that person
feel free to talk. Look and act interested. Remove distractions: turn off the
TV; close the door; stop what you are doing, and pay attention.
3. Pay attention to the nonverbal language of physical gestures, facial
expressions, tone of voice, and body posture. An authority on nonverbal
language says that 55 percent of the message meaning is nonverbal, 38 percent
is indicated by tone of voice, and only 7 percent is conveyed by the words used
in a spoken message. Few people know how to listen to the eyes; what a
tapping foot means; a furrowed brow; clenched fist; the biting of nails. These
often reveal the key feelings behind the words.
4. Listen for what is not said. Ask questions to clarify the meaning of words and
the feelings involved, or ask the speaker to enlarge on the statement. People
often find it difficult to speak up about matters or experiences that are very
important or highly emotional for them. Listen for how the speaker presents
the message. What people hesitate to say is often the most critical point.
5. Know exactly what the other person is saying. Reflect
back what the other person has said in a "shared
meaning" experience so you completely understand
the meaning and content of the message before you
reply to it. A good listener does not assume they
understand the other person. You, as the listener,
should not express your views until you have
summarized the speaker's message to his satisfaction.
6. Be aware of "tune out" words. These are words which
appear in the media that strike an emotional chord in
the listener and interferes with attentive listening (e.g.
abortion, nuclear war, communism, homosexuality).
Avoid arguing mentally. Listen to understand, not to
oppose.
7. Concentrate on "hidden" emotional meanings. What
are the real feelings behind the words? What is the
tone of voice saying? What does the emphasis on
certain words mean?
8. Be patient. Don't interrupt the speaker. This is
disrespectful and suggests you want to talk instead of
listen. Allow plenty of time for the speaker to convey
ideas and meaning. Be courteous and give the speaker
adequate time to present the full message.
9. Hold your temper! Try to keep your own emotions
from interfering with your listening efficiency. When
emotions are high, there is a tendency to tune out the
speaker, become defensive, or want to give advice.
You don't have to agree to be a good listener. Don't
argue! Even if you win, you lose.
10. Empathize with the speaker. Try to "walk in the
other's moccasins" so you can feel what that person is
feeling and understand the point of view the speaker
is trying to convey.
Final thoughts? Questions?