Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
CHAPTER 9, PART TWO
Dynamics of Interpersonal Relationships, Continued
Interplay
Section 2
COMMUNICATION AND
RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Developmental Models of
Interpersonal Relationships

Mark Knapp: 10 step model.

Other research: coming together, coming apart,
and relational maintenance.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Initiating Stage
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You are interested in
making contact.
You demonstrate that
you are a person worth
talking to.
Superficial stage.
Difficult stage for shy
people.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Experimenting Stage

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Search for common
ground.
Small talk.
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Useful way to learn about
shared interests
Allows for “auditioning”
Safe way to ease into a
relationship
Provides a link to others
Information at this stage
depends on the nature of
relationship we seek.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Intensifying Stage
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Where qualitatively
interpersonal relationships
develop.
Friendship: Shared
activities; romantic
relationships: express
feelings directly, ask for
support, give tokens of
affection.
Relational excitement and
euphoria!
Stage doesn’t last forever.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Integrating Stage
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Identity as a social unit.
Social circles merge.
Common property is
designated.
Partners develop routines
and rituals.
Sense of obligation grows.
Requests are straightforward;
expectations heightened.
Uncertainty decreases, which
enhances attraction and
closeness.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Bonding Stage

Symbolic public gestures to
show the world that the
relationship exists.
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Engagement
Sharing residence
Written or verbal pledge.
Relationships don’t have to
be romantic to achieve
bonding.
Important turning point.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Differentiating Stage

Re-establishment of
individual identities.

First, inevitable feelings of
stress.

Normal part of relational
maintenance—key is
maintaining commitment
while creating space for
individuality.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Circumscribing Stage
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Communication decreases in
quantity and quality.
Subtle hint of dissatisfaction
grow more evident.
Suppression of true
relationship status.
Restrictions and restraints
occur.
Dynamic communication
becomes static.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Stagnating Stage

Relationship: Hollow shell of
its former self.

Couples are unenthusiastic,
have no sense of joy or
novelty.

Stagnation occurs when
workers lose job satisfaction,
but remain.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Avoiding Stage
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Distance is created, directly or indirectly.
Expressing detachment—avoiding the other person
altogether.
Avoiding involvement—ignoring, no touching, superficial
politeness.
Showing antagonism—behaving in a hostile way; treating
the other person as “lesser.”
Mentally dissociate—thinking about the other person as
less capable, unimportant.
Vicious cycle develops.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Knapp’s Model: Terminating Stage
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Summary dialogues of
where the relationship has
gone; desire to dissociate.
Can be short or drawn out.
Research:

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Friendship before
relationship can be
predictor of friendship after
relationship.
Termination is a learning
experience.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Interplay
Section 3
LIMITS OF DEVELOPMENTAL MODELS
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Limits of Developmental Models

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Communication ebbs and flows in relationships.
Progression does not always flow in a predictable
manner.
Knapp’s model: A relationship exhibits only the
most dominant traits of just one of the 10 stages
at any given time, but elements of other stages
are usually present.

Relationships can “come together” and “come apart” at the
same time.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Dialectical Perspectives on
Relational Dynamics
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Dialectical tensions: Conflicts that arise when two
opposing or incompatible forces exist
simultaneously.
Dialectical forces that make successful
communication challenging:
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Integration-separation dialect
Connection-autonomy dialect

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This dialectic is one of the most significant factors
affecting a relationship.
Inclusion-seclusion dialect
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Dialectical Perspectives on
Relational Dynamics
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Stability-change dialect
Predictability-novelty
dialect
Conventionalityuniqueness dialect
Expression-privacy dialect
Openness-closeness
dialect
Revelation-concealment
dialect
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Strategies for Managing
Dialectical Tensions

Denial

Balance

Disorientation

Integration

Alternation

Recalibration

Segmentation

Reaffirmation
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Interplay
END OF SECTION
CHAPTER CONTINUES
IN PART THREE
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.