Academic Skills Advice Proofing, Editing and Drafting Your Own Written Work This workshop will: - Introduce you to the processes of drafting, editing and proofing - Identify and share a number of common errors people make in written papers - Provide tips on proof-reading effectively Teaching points: 1. What is the difference between drafting, editing and proofreading? 2. The three steps of editing 3. Proof-reading tips The following uses extensive adapted extracts from Greetham (2013: 285-307). 1 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice 1. What is the difference between drafting, editing and proofreading? Each of these are stages in a process which develops and produces the finished written assignment/presentation/report. If any of these phases are missed out or not performed adequately, marks could be lost. The different stages are: A. Drafting: Writing a first version passed on a plan and structure already in place whilst being creative as you will have the ‘safety net’ of editing later. It will need amending B. Editing: This requires a sharp change of role – from creator/writer to editor/critic. You need to put some ‘distance’ between yourself and your work; give yourself at least overnight before you start to read through the text. Looking at the marking criteria provides valuable information on the content and framing of answers. Do not forget, this is amending at the structure and subject level along with academic style. You are likely to edit your work more than once, and there is a three step breakdown of editing later in the workshop. C. Re-drafting: Re-writing following your editing revisions, so there will be a number of re-writes. D. Proofreading: Ensuring your work is in the appropriate academic style and has no spelling, grammar, punctuation mistakes is important, as a misplaced comma can change the emphasis or even meaning of a sentence and therefore a whole point in your line of reasoning. Draft Edit (Revise) Redraft Edit (Revise) Drafting = writing a first version Editing = revising and adapting against quality markers and the brief/the question Redrafting = once the original has been edited, it is written up again Multiple edits and revisions, and redrafts Proofing = ensuring ‘technical’ accuracy Redraft Proof 2 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice Activity 1: Editing or Proofing job? Consider which the jobs are in the right hand box and place an E or P in the left hand box as you think appropriate. Check with your neighbour to see if your answers tally. 1. Appropriateness of argument 2. Grammar 3. Position of ideas 4. Punctuation 5. Level of Formality 6. Order of sections 7. Spelling and typographical (italics, bold) errors 8. Word choice 2. The four steps of editing Editing is a long process and you will have to do multiple passes at your work. You must set time aside in your assignment plan to do this properly as marks can be lost if you are sloppy or hurry through this phase. Editing relates to revising the substance of the written work, what it says and what order it is in so the reader can understand your argument or assessment of the debate in question. In effect, you have to make it easy for the marker to give you marks. Step 1: ‘Light touch’ editing Read the assignment out loud and, if possible, get someone else to read it to you. It is likely that those elements you enjoyed and understood will be clearly articulated, and if you had difficulties with a particular issue or point, it will be reflected in your text. Then re-read to yourself: do not stop at each one and start working on them but simply make notes about the amendments you wish to make. Step 2: The big questions This deals with the logical structure of your essay (overall as well as within each paragraph), the relevance of arguments (to the question/task) and the evidence used. 3 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice a) Check that the introduction not only outlines the structure, or map, of all points in your assignment, but that you have interpreted the question/task correctly and declared your interpretation. Stating any conclusion you have come to should also go into the introduction. b) The structure of the main body should have a logical sequence with easily recognised ‘signposts’, including introductory topic and transitional sentences. Make sure each paragraph does what the topic sentence says it does, in other words, It does what it says on the tin c) Each paragraph should contain one point relating to an argument or assessment of a debate, so ensure the points bear directly on the map outlined in the introduction and check each point is clear – do not make the marker ‘dig for the gold’; let them find it easily. (This last item may have been identified in the first step of editing). d) Make sure your evidence is relevant to the point being made, accurate, and as specific as possible: this will show an understanding of the subject and an appreciation of the appropriate use of evidence. It also shows readers what is meant rather than just telling them. Finally, using pertinent evidence and quotations makes the text more readable and interesting. e) The conclusion should ‘mirror’ the introduction stating what has been discussed, and what, if any, conclusions have been reached. Do not include any new material. Step 3: Academic style If your initial writing has been creative and done in a ‘free’ way, it may not be written in an appropriate academic style. There are many aspects to consider including… a) Third person and detached style: take out all references to yourself as the author or researcher, so no ‘I’ or ‘me’ or ‘my’ or ‘mine’. For example: After considering all the arguments, I decided giving sixteen- and seventeen-yearold people the vote is likely to increase engagement with politics for this age group. Becomes… After considering all the arguments, it was decided that giving sixteen- and seventeen-year-old people the vote is likely to increase engagement with politics for this age group. 4 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice b) Unnecessary material: This deals with the ‘readability’ of the assignment: too much unnecessary words or phrases can fog the meaning of the points you wish to make. Look for any words, phrases, sentences or even paragraphs that you can remove without affecting the meaning or overall argument. Activity 2: an edit for word count Working in pairs, read the extract of 136 words and then identify where words or phrases can be replaced or reworked to reduce the word count whilst maintaining the meaning. This is known as the ‘Concept of Brutal or Hard Pruning’. This essay attempts to evaluate the business model and e-strategy of web based business Amazon.co.uk. The success of Amazon.co.uk will be analysed through different services that it offers to customers specially focusing on their online book service and z shops. It is based on the mixed research of articles and literature obtained from different writers. Before embarking on an approach to analyse the business model, there is a need to explore the meaning of the business model. Paul Timmers (2000) has defined the business model as: “an architecture for product, service and information flows, including a description of the various business actors and their roles” (p.46). Although there are different kinds of business models but they have all got one thing in common, they are designed to make money for their owners in the long run. 5 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice ‘The Concept of Soft Pruning’ – potential cuts are shown in italics. Tautologies: words in a phrase with the same meaning, so one is unnecessary. Revert back Advance planning Unite together New innovation Sink down Falsely fabricated Join together Ascend up Follow after Collaborate (or cooperate) together Mutual cooperation Penetrate into Hoist up Redundant words & phrases: do not add any useful information to the main verbs or nouns in a sentence. General public 35 acres of land Divide up; filled up; burn down; eat up A number of examples Discuss about Circular shape Important essentials True facts Reduce down A team of twelve workers More preferable Major breakthrough Sufficient enough Meet together Small in size Long-winded Sentences Some students think that these are expected of them in higher education. Not so. Keep sentences short and eliminate the waffle Example: The Panorama Software and Microsoft Roundtable organized a conference in 2004, gathering leading minds in business intelligence and the analyst community, to gain expert consensus on the topic. The aim was to encourage dialogue and discourse to focus on how business intelligence can address key strategic challenges concerning customers, costs, competition and change. (53 words) Alternative (Better) Version: The Panorama Software and Microsoft Roundtable organized a conference in 2004 for business intelligence experts to discuss key strategic challenges concerning customers, costs, competition and change. (26 words) 6 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice c) Long sentences: Sentences should be no longer than two and a half lines otherwise readers can get ‘lost’ in too many words and confusing punctuation, and miss the point. Cut each long sentence into two or more shorter sentences. For example: Appeals are made to some imagined social consensus, to ‘basic’ or ‘shared’ values, it is assumed we all want to drive the latest and fastest car on the road and our lives will be unfulfilled unless we have a ‘multi-valve engine’ and ‘ABS braking’ and to sustain these appeals myths have to be created by the media. Becomes… Appeals are made to some imagined social consensus: to ‘basic’ or ‘shared’ values. It is assumed we all want to drive the latest and fastest car on the road and our lives will be unfulfilled unless we have a ‘multi-valve engine’ and ‘ABS braking’. To sustain these appeals, myths have to be created by the media. d) Long words: Like long sentences, long words can cloud meaning and make the text seem pompous. Try to substitute long words for short words with the same meaning. However, the subject may require you to use particular technological terms as they express specific states, concepts, etc. Examples: bestowed unharmonious establish given clashing base e) Strong nouns and verbs: Not only does using ‘strong’ verbs and nouns help with clarity, it can help with word count as it is unnecessary to ‘shore up’ weak words with adjectives and adverbs. For example: Theatre promoters are likely to comb through unfavourable reviews looking carefully for any isolated expression of a favourable comment that can be used to promote their plays. Becomes… Theatre promoters are likely to comb through unfavourable reviews in search of any isolated expression of approval that can be used to promote their plays. 7 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice f) Voice: There are two voices used when writing, active and passive, with the passive voice construction being preferred in academic writing. • active voice is used when the subject is placed before the verb • passive voice is used when the subject is moved so the object is placed first Examples: A) Keir Hardie was elected as the first Labour MP by the voters of Merthyr Tydfil in 1900. B) The voters of Merthyr Tydfil elected Keir Hardie as the first Labour Party MP in 1900. A) is the passive as ‘Keir Hardie’ is the object (thing that has been ‘elected’) and the subject is the ‘voters’ (thing that did the ‘electing’). Hardie is put first and so is the focus of the sentence. This construction or order is useful in academic writing as it tends to enable students to write in the third person more easily, and it looks and sounds more formal. 3. Proof-reading tips Take a break between writing and proof-reading. Set the paper aside for the night - or even for twenty minutes! Proof-read at the time of day when you know you concentrate best. Proof-read backwards. Begin at the end and work back through the text line by line. This will force you to look at the surface elements rather than the meaning of the paper. Use resources. If you're not sure if you need that comma or whether to use "affect" or "effect," look it up in a grammar book or an online language resource. Make use of dictionaries to check spellings. Ask someone else to read over your text and help you to spot errors. Know your own typical mistakes. Before you proof-read, look over texts you have written in the past. Make a list of the errors you make repeatedly. Place a ruler under each line as you read it. This will give your eyes a manageable amount of text to read. Proof-read for one type of error at a time. If commas are your most frequent problem, go through the paper checking just that one problem. Then proof-read again for the next most frequent problem. 8 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice Use the spell-checker on your computer, but use it carefully. It is a single proofing tool – not the single proof of the text! Computer spell-checkers often make errors as they are not set up for grammar mistakes (for example, they do not know the difference between there, their, and they're), and often use American spelling (e.g theater). Together, we will read the following paragraph and put all the above aspects into practice. In the second half of the nineteenth century as labour and information moved more rapidly and easily across borders new pressures for change were generated bringing with them unprecedented social and cultural fragmentation rarely seen before. Metropolises grew at inconceivable rates into vast cities drawing workers in from the countryside to interact with the new foreign migrant labour flooding in from all over Europe, developing a new urbane, cosmopolitan culture, fuelled by rising literacy and a popular press with mass readership. Not only were traditional social classes changing with movement up and down the social structure, but I found that cultures and traditional customs were being threatened by an exodus away from the rural areas in to cities, and by international, cosmopolitan influences that flowed across borders. 9 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice Activity 3: Editing and Proofing Read the following text and identify the features from the above. Alter the paragraph accordingly without affecting meaning. Check with your neighbours to see if their amendments tally. The forces of uniformity in tastes, culture and fasion that touched just about every European society that engaged in trade and commerce were fuelled by the revolution in communications alone. Consumers demanded the best of what they bought irrespective of where it was demanded the best of what they bought irrespective of where it was produced, so architecture, clothes and fashions were discovered to be increasingly the same and, except where they were consciously prolonged, national syles slowly faded. Evn in the 1930s it was already apparent that a time was approaching when it would be impossible to tell one country’s towns and cities from another and, add to th is the impact of dance music, the cinema and the wireless, even the cheap recreational literature that more and more drew its inspiration from the US, and it became clear to a growing number of people that their social and cultural identitiy, once a source of patriotic pride and a sense of belonging, was disappearing beneath a uniform, cosmopolitan culture, that was constantly changing. 10 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice References Cottrell, S. (2013) The study skills handbook. 4th ed. Basingstoke, Palgrave Macmillan. Greetham, B. (2013) How to write better essays. 3rd ed. Basingstoke, Palgrave Macmillan. Redman, P. (2001) Good essay writing. 2nd ed. London, Sage Publications Ltd.Answers Activity 1: Editing or proofreading job? 1. Appropriateness of argument E 2. Grammar P 3. Position of ideas E 4. Punctuation P 5. Level of Formality E 6. Order of sections E 7. Spelling and typographical errors P 8. Word choice E Activity 2: Editing for word count A. This essay evaluates the business model and e-strategy of Amazon.co.uk. Based on various literature types, the company’s success will be analysed through the different services it offers focusing on their online book service and z shops. Before analysing the business model, there is a need to explore its meaning. Timmers (2000) defines the business model as: “an architecture for product, service and information flows” (p.46). Although there are different kinds of models,they have one thing in common: they are designed to make money for their owners. (86 words) Reduction of about a third 11 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills Academic Skills Advice B. Before analysing the business model, its meaning will be explored. Timmers (2000) has defined the business model as “an architecture for product, service and information flows” (p.46). Although there are different business models, they have one thing in common: they are designed to make money for their owners. (48 words) Reduction by about two-thirds. Activity 3: Editing and proof-reading A. In the second half of the nineteenth century as labour and information swept across borders, new pressures for change were generated, bringing with them unprecedented social and cultural fragmentation. Towns grew at inconceivable rates into vast cities drawing workers in from the countryside to interact with the foreign labour flooding in from all over Europe. Here a new cosmopolitan culture developed, fuelled by rising literacy and a popular mass press. Not only were traditional social classes changing with movement up and down the social structure, but cultures and customs were being threatened by movement away from the countryside in to cities, and by cosmopolitan influences that flowed across borders. B. The revolution in communications was fuelling forces for uniformity in tastes, culture and fashion that touched just about every European society that engaged in commerce. Consumers demanded the best product irrespective of where it was made. Architecture, clothes and fashions were increasingly the same, and, except where they were consciously prolonged, national styles slowly faded. Even in the 1930s, it was already apparent that a time was approaching when it would be impossible to tell one country’s towns and cities from another. Other impacts included dance music, the cinema, the wireless, and even the cheap recreational literature that increasingly drew its inspiration from the US. It became clear to a growing number, that their social and cultural identity, once a source of patriotic pride and a sense of belonging, was disappearing beneath a constantly-changing yet uniform, cosmopolitan culture. 12 www.brad.ac.uk/academic-skills