Editing,-Drafting-an..

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Academic Skills Advice
Proofing, Editing and Drafting Your Own Written Work
This workshop will:
- Introduce you to the processes of drafting, editing and proofing
- Identify and share a number of common errors people make in
written papers
- Provide tips on proof-reading effectively
Teaching points:
1. What is the difference between drafting, editing and proofreading?
2. The three steps of editing
3. Proof-reading tips
The following uses extensive adapted extracts from Greetham (2013: 285-307).
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1. What is the difference between drafting, editing and
proofreading?
Each of these are stages in a process which develops and produces the finished
written assignment/presentation/report. If any of these phases are missed out or not
performed adequately, marks could be lost.
The different stages are:
A. Drafting: Writing a first version passed on a plan and structure already in
place whilst being creative as you will have the ‘safety net’ of editing later.
It will need amending
B. Editing: This requires a sharp change of role – from creator/writer to
editor/critic. You need to put some ‘distance’ between yourself and your
work; give yourself at least overnight before you start to read through the
text. Looking at the marking criteria provides valuable information on the
content and framing of answers. Do not forget, this is amending at the
structure and subject level along with academic style. You are likely to
edit your work more than once, and there is a three step breakdown of
editing later in the workshop.
C. Re-drafting: Re-writing following your editing revisions, so there will be a
number of re-writes.
D. Proofreading: Ensuring your work is in the appropriate academic style and has
no spelling, grammar, punctuation mistakes is important, as a misplaced
comma can change the emphasis or even meaning of a sentence and
therefore a whole point in your line of reasoning.
Draft
Edit
(Revise)
Redraft
Edit
(Revise)

Drafting = writing a first version
 Editing = revising and adapting against
quality markers and the brief/the question
 Redrafting = once the original has been
edited, it is written up again

Multiple edits and revisions, and redrafts

Proofing = ensuring ‘technical’ accuracy
Redraft
Proof
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Activity 1: Editing or Proofing job?
Consider which the jobs are in the right hand box and place an E or P in the left
hand box as you think appropriate. Check with your neighbour to see if your
answers tally.
1. Appropriateness of argument
2. Grammar
3. Position of ideas
4. Punctuation
5. Level of Formality
6. Order of sections
7. Spelling and typographical (italics, bold) errors
8. Word choice
2. The four steps of editing
Editing is a long process and you will have to do multiple passes at your work. You
must set time aside in your assignment plan to do this properly as marks can be
lost if you are sloppy or hurry through this phase. Editing relates to revising the
substance of the written work, what it says and what order it is in so the reader
can understand your argument or assessment of the debate in question. In effect,
you have to make it easy for the marker to give you marks.

Step 1: ‘Light touch’ editing
Read the assignment out loud and, if possible, get someone else to read it to you.
It is likely that those elements you enjoyed and understood will be clearly
articulated, and if you had difficulties with a particular issue or point, it will be
reflected in your text. Then re-read to yourself: do not stop at each one and start
working on them but simply make notes about the amendments you wish to make.

Step 2: The big questions
This deals with the logical structure of your essay (overall as well as within each
paragraph), the relevance of arguments (to the question/task) and the evidence
used.
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a) Check that the introduction not only outlines the structure, or map, of all
points in your assignment, but that you have interpreted the question/task
correctly and declared your interpretation. Stating any conclusion you
have come to should also go into the introduction.
b) The structure of the main body should have a logical sequence with easily
recognised ‘signposts’, including introductory topic and transitional
sentences. Make sure each paragraph does what the topic sentence says it
does, in other words,
It does what it says on the tin
c) Each paragraph should contain one point relating to an argument or
assessment of a debate, so ensure the points bear directly on the map
outlined in the introduction and check each point is clear – do not make the
marker ‘dig for the gold’; let them find it easily. (This last item may have been
identified in the first step of editing).
d) Make sure your evidence is relevant to the point being made, accurate,
and as specific as possible: this will show an understanding of the subject
and an appreciation of the appropriate use of evidence. It also shows readers
what is meant rather than just telling them. Finally, using pertinent evidence
and quotations makes the text more readable and interesting.
e) The conclusion should ‘mirror’ the introduction stating what has been
discussed, and what, if any, conclusions have been reached. Do not include
any new material.

Step 3: Academic style
If your initial writing has been creative and done in a ‘free’ way, it may not be
written in an appropriate academic style. There are many aspects to consider
including…
a) Third person and detached style: take out all references to yourself as the
author or researcher, so no ‘I’ or ‘me’ or ‘my’ or ‘mine’. For example:
After considering all the arguments, I decided giving sixteen- and seventeen-yearold people the vote is likely to increase engagement with politics for this age group.
Becomes…
After considering all the arguments, it was decided that giving sixteen- and
seventeen-year-old people the vote is likely to increase engagement with politics for
this age group.
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b) Unnecessary material: This deals with the ‘readability’ of the assignment: too
much unnecessary words or phrases can fog the meaning of the points you
wish to make. Look for any words, phrases, sentences or even paragraphs
that you can remove without affecting the meaning or overall argument.
Activity 2: an edit for word count
Working in pairs, read the extract of 136 words and then identify where words or
phrases can be replaced or reworked to reduce the word count whilst maintaining
the meaning. This is known as the ‘Concept of Brutal or Hard Pruning’.
This essay attempts to evaluate the business model and e-strategy of web based
business Amazon.co.uk. The success of Amazon.co.uk will be analysed through
different services that it offers to customers specially focusing on their online book
service and z shops. It is based on the mixed research of articles and literature
obtained from different writers.
Before embarking on an approach to analyse the business model, there is a need to
explore the meaning of the business model. Paul Timmers (2000) has defined the
business model as: “an architecture for product, service and information flows,
including a description of the various business actors and their roles” (p.46).
Although there are different kinds of business models but they have all got one thing
in common, they are designed to make money for their owners in the long run.
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‘The Concept of Soft Pruning’ – potential cuts are shown in italics.
Tautologies: words in a phrase with the same meaning, so one is unnecessary.
Revert back
Advance planning
Unite together
New innovation
Sink down
Falsely fabricated
Join together
Ascend up
Follow after
Collaborate (or cooperate) together
Mutual cooperation
Penetrate into
Hoist up
Redundant words & phrases: do not add any useful information to the main
verbs or nouns in a sentence.
General public
35 acres of land
Divide up; filled up; burn down; eat up
A number of examples
Discuss about
Circular shape
Important essentials
True facts
Reduce down
A team of twelve workers
More preferable
Major breakthrough
Sufficient enough
Meet together
Small in size
Long-winded Sentences
Some students think that these are expected of them in higher education. Not so.
Keep sentences short and eliminate the waffle
Example:
The Panorama Software and Microsoft Roundtable organized a conference in 2004,
gathering leading minds in business intelligence and the analyst community, to gain
expert consensus on the topic. The aim was to encourage dialogue and discourse to
focus on how business intelligence can address key strategic challenges concerning
customers, costs, competition and change. (53 words)
Alternative (Better) Version:
The Panorama Software and Microsoft Roundtable organized a conference in 2004
for business intelligence experts to discuss key strategic challenges concerning
customers, costs, competition and change. (26 words)
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c) Long sentences: Sentences should be no longer than two and a half lines
otherwise readers can get ‘lost’ in too many words and confusing punctuation,
and miss the point. Cut each long sentence into two or more shorter
sentences. For example:
Appeals are made to some imagined social consensus, to ‘basic’ or
‘shared’ values, it is assumed we all want to drive the latest and
fastest car on the road and our lives will be unfulfilled unless we
have a ‘multi-valve engine’ and ‘ABS braking’ and to sustain these
appeals myths have to be created by the media.
Becomes…
Appeals are made to some imagined social consensus: to ‘basic’ or
‘shared’ values. It is assumed we all want to drive the latest and
fastest car on the road and our lives will be unfulfilled unless we
have a ‘multi-valve engine’ and ‘ABS braking’. To sustain these
appeals, myths have to be created by the media.
d) Long words: Like long sentences, long words can cloud meaning and make
the text seem pompous. Try to substitute long words for short words with the
same meaning. However, the subject may require you to use particular
technological terms as they express specific states, concepts, etc.
Examples:
bestowed
unharmonious
establish
given
clashing
base
e) Strong nouns and verbs: Not only does using ‘strong’ verbs and nouns help
with clarity, it can help with word count as it is unnecessary to ‘shore up’
weak words with adjectives and adverbs. For example:
Theatre promoters are likely to comb through unfavourable reviews looking
carefully for any isolated expression of a favourable comment that can be used to
promote their plays.
Becomes…
Theatre promoters are likely to comb through unfavourable reviews in search of
any isolated expression of approval that can be used to promote their plays.
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f) Voice: There are two voices used when writing, active and passive, with the
passive voice construction being preferred in academic writing.
•
active voice is used when the subject is placed before the verb
•
passive voice is used when the subject is moved so the object is placed first
Examples:
A) Keir Hardie was elected as the first Labour MP by the voters of Merthyr Tydfil in
1900.
B) The voters of Merthyr Tydfil elected Keir Hardie as the first Labour Party MP in
1900.
A) is the passive as ‘Keir Hardie’ is the object (thing that has been ‘elected’) and the
subject is the ‘voters’ (thing that did the ‘electing’). Hardie is put first and so is the
focus of the sentence.
This construction or order is useful in academic writing as it tends to enable students
to write in the third person more easily, and it looks and sounds more formal.
3. Proof-reading tips








Take a break between writing and proof-reading. Set the paper
aside for the night - or even for twenty minutes!
Proof-read at the time of day when you know you concentrate best.
Proof-read backwards. Begin at the end and work back through the
text line by line. This will force you to look at the surface elements
rather than the meaning of the paper.
Use resources. If you're not sure if you need that comma or
whether to use "affect" or "effect," look it up in a grammar book or
an online language resource. Make use of dictionaries to check
spellings.
Ask someone else to read over your text and help you to spot
errors.
Know your own typical mistakes. Before you proof-read, look over
texts you have written in the past. Make a list of the errors you
make repeatedly.
Place a ruler under each line as you read it. This will give your eyes
a manageable amount of text to read.
Proof-read for one type of error at a time. If commas are your most
frequent problem, go through the paper checking just that one
problem. Then proof-read again for the next most frequent
problem.
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
Use the spell-checker on your computer, but use it carefully. It is a
single proofing tool – not the single proof of the text! Computer
spell-checkers often make errors as they are not set up for
grammar mistakes (for example, they do not know the difference
between there, their, and they're), and often use American spelling
(e.g theater).
Together, we will read the following paragraph and put all
the above aspects into practice.
In the second half of the nineteenth century as labour and information moved more
rapidly and easily across borders new pressures for change were generated bringing
with them unprecedented social and cultural fragmentation rarely seen before.
Metropolises grew at inconceivable rates into vast cities drawing workers in from the
countryside to interact with the new foreign migrant labour flooding in from all over
Europe, developing a new urbane, cosmopolitan culture, fuelled by rising literacy
and a popular press with mass readership. Not only were traditional social classes
changing with movement up and down the social structure, but I found that cultures
and traditional customs were being threatened by an exodus away from the rural
areas in to cities, and by international, cosmopolitan influences that flowed across
borders.
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Activity 3: Editing and Proofing
Read the following text and identify the features from the above. Alter the
paragraph accordingly without affecting meaning. Check with your neighbours to see
if their amendments tally.
The forces of uniformity in tastes, culture and fasion that touched just about every
European society that engaged in trade and commerce were fuelled by the
revolution in communications alone. Consumers demanded the best of what they
bought irrespective of where it was demanded the best of what they bought
irrespective of where it was produced, so architecture, clothes and fashions were
discovered to be increasingly the same and, except where they were consciously
prolonged, national syles slowly faded. Evn in the 1930s it was already apparent that
a time was approaching when it would be impossible to tell one country’s towns and
cities from another and, add to th is the impact of dance music, the cinema and the
wireless, even the cheap recreational literature that more and more drew its
inspiration from the US, and it became clear to a growing number of people that
their social and cultural identitiy, once a source of patriotic pride and a sense of
belonging, was disappearing beneath a uniform, cosmopolitan culture, that was
constantly changing.
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References
Cottrell, S. (2013) The study skills handbook. 4th ed. Basingstoke, Palgrave
Macmillan.
Greetham, B. (2013) How to write better essays. 3rd ed. Basingstoke, Palgrave
Macmillan.
Redman, P. (2001) Good essay writing. 2nd ed. London, Sage Publications
Ltd.Answers
Activity 1: Editing or proofreading job?
1. Appropriateness of argument
E
2. Grammar
P
3. Position of ideas
E
4. Punctuation
P
5. Level of Formality
E
6. Order of sections
E
7. Spelling and typographical errors
P
8. Word choice
E
Activity 2: Editing for word count
A. This essay evaluates the business model and e-strategy of
Amazon.co.uk. Based on various literature types, the company’s success will be
analysed through the different services it offers focusing on their online book service
and z shops. Before analysing the business model, there is a need to explore its
meaning. Timmers (2000) defines the business model as: “an architecture for
product, service and information flows” (p.46). Although there are different kinds of
models,they have one thing in common: they are designed to make money for their
owners. (86 words) Reduction of about a third
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B. Before analysing the business model, its meaning will be explored. Timmers
(2000) has defined the business model as “an architecture for product, service and
information flows” (p.46). Although there are different business models, they have
one thing in common: they are designed to make money for their owners. (48
words) Reduction by about two-thirds.
Activity 3: Editing and proof-reading
A. In the second half of the nineteenth century as labour and information swept
across borders, new pressures for change were generated, bringing with
them unprecedented social and cultural fragmentation. Towns grew at
inconceivable rates into vast cities drawing workers in from the countryside to
interact with the foreign labour flooding in from all over Europe. Here a new
cosmopolitan culture developed, fuelled by rising literacy and a popular mass
press. Not only were traditional social classes changing with movement up
and down the social structure, but cultures and customs were being
threatened by movement away from the countryside in to cities, and by
cosmopolitan influences that flowed across borders.
B. The revolution in communications was fuelling forces for uniformity in tastes,
culture and fashion that touched just about every European society that
engaged in commerce. Consumers demanded the best product irrespective of
where it was made. Architecture, clothes and fashions were increasingly the
same, and, except where they were consciously prolonged, national styles
slowly faded. Even in the 1930s, it was already apparent that a time was
approaching when it would be impossible to tell one country’s towns and
cities from another. Other impacts included dance music, the cinema, the
wireless, and even the cheap recreational literature that increasingly drew its
inspiration from the US. It became clear to a growing number, that their
social and cultural identity, once a source of patriotic pride and a sense of
belonging, was disappearing beneath a constantly-changing yet uniform,
cosmopolitan culture.
12
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