Halloween Jokes..and Songs
Test your comedic skills…Give yourself a point for every joke you
answer correctly.
Welcome to Ha-Ha-Halloween!
1. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...
2. Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...
3, How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...
4. What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...
5. What type of dog do vampires like best?
Bloodhounds!
Ha-Ha-Halloween…pg. 2!
6. Why don't skeletons go out on the town?
Because they have no body to go out with...
7. What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...
8. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...
9. Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They’re too wrapped up in themselves!
10.
What’s a mummie’s favorite type of music?
WRAP ! ! ! ! !
The Pumpkin on the Vine
(sung to the tune of “The Farmer in the Dell”)
The pumpkin on the vine, the pumpkin on the vine,
I picked the one that weighed a ton, and that’s the one that’s
mine.
I made two funny eyes, a mouth that’s oversized,
The other gook my mother took for making pumpkin pies.
The pumpkin on the vine, the pumpkin on the vine,
It’s now a jack-o-lantern,
And you ought to see him shine.
I’ve Been Working on My Costume
(sung to the tune of “I’ve been working on the Railroad”)
Chorus
I’ve been working on my costume, all the live long day,
I’ve been working on my costume, Watch out, I’m on my way!
When you see me by your doorbell…you’ll know what I mean.
I’ve been working on my costume…Cause it’s Halloween.
Little bit of this, little bit of that…Little bitty pillow to make me fat!
Wig upon my head, sheet from off my bed, All because it’s Halloween. Chorus
Crazy kind of nose, crazy kind of beard, Don’t know what I am,
but I look weird!
Paint is on my face, powder every place,
All Because it’s Halloween. Chorus
Oh, My Monster, Oh My Monster
(sung to “Oh My Darling Clementine”)
In a castle…near a mountain, Near the dark and murky Rhine,
Dwelled a Doctor, the concoctor…of the monster, Frankenstein.
(Chorus)
Oh my monster, oh my monster, oh my monster, Frankenstein,
You were built to last forever, dreadful scar-y, Frankenstein.
Oh the doctor, he was crazy, studied Physics all the time,
But it only made him lonely, thought he’d make old Frankenstein.
Back in those days, things were different, Monster parts were hard to find.
He dug for noses and for toe-ses for his monster, Frankenstein.
Oh, My Monster, page 2…
(Chorus)
Oh my monster, oh my monster, oh my monster, Frankenstein,
You were built to last forever, dreadful scar-y, Frankenstein.
With a stitch here and a bolt there, and some chewing gum and twine,
He assembled what resembled that great monster, Frankenstein.
In the stormy laboratory, at exactly midnight’s chime,
Came a frightening bold of lightning, brought to life old Frankenstein.
(Chorus)
But his chains they couldn’t hold him, so he broke the ties that bind.
Went out roaming in the gloaming, just to see what he could find.
After that I can’t remember ‘cause the story slips my mind,
But I’ve seen him Halloween’en, so I guess he’s doing fine.
(Chorus)