Looking Out/Looking In
Eleventh Edition
Chapter One:
A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Ronald B. Adler, Russell F. Proctor II, and Neil Towne
Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Why We Communicate
• The Power of Silence – We all need solitude (being alone)….
• The Power of Isolation – Most of us clearly do not get the
amount we need….
• Contact and Companionship – Solitude can go from being
pleasurable to painful
• BOTTOMLINE is this…We all NEED Relationships! We all
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
We Communicate to Satisfy Needs
Physical Needs
• Link Between Communication and Physical Well-being – It’s
presence or absence affects your physical health! John
McCain (pg. 6)
“We must love one another or die.”
W.H. Auden
• Quality and Quantity Vary By Individuals – Not everyone
needs the same amount of contact, and the quality is almost
certainly as important as the quantity.
• The important point is that personal communication is
essential for our well-being.
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
We Communicate to Satisfy Needs
Identity Needs
• We Learn Who We are Through Communication – We
decide who we are based on how others react to us.
• “Wild Boy of Aveyron” Pg. 7
• We Come to See Ourselves as Others See Us
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
We Communicate to Satisfy Needs
Social Needs
• Research suggests a strong
link between effective
interpersonal
communication and
happiness.
• Pleasure
• Affection
• Companionship
• Escape
• Relaxation
• Control
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“Who can enjoy alone?”
John Milton Paradise Lost
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
We Communicate to Satisfy Needs
Practical (Instrumental) Goals
• Getting others to behave in
ways we want…
– Communication is the tool that
tells your hairstylist to take a little
off the top.
• Communication Skills Top
Factor in Getting Jobs
• Keeping Job and Advancement
Tied to Communication Skills
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
We Communicate to Satisfy Needs
Maslow’s Basic Needs
•Maslow’s Hierarchy of
Needs –
• Physiological: air,
water, food and rest
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
We Communicate to Satisfy Needs
Maslow’s Basic Needs
•Maslow’s Hierarchy of
Needs
• Safety: Protection
from threats to our
well being
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
We Communicate to Satisfy Needs
Maslow’s Basic Needs
•Maslow’s Hierarchy of
Needs
• Love and
Belongingness: Feeling
as though you are part
of something bigger.
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
We Communicate to Satisfy Needs
Maslow’s Basic Needs
•Maslow’s Hierarchy of
Needs
• Esteem: the desire to
believe we are
worthwhile, valuable
people.
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
We Communicate to Satisfy Needs
Maslow’s Basic Needs
•Maslow’s Hierarchy of
Needs
•
Self-Actualization: the
desire to develop out
potential to the maximum,
to become the best person
we can be. Hard to
achieve…there is always
room for improvement!!
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
The Process of Communication
A Linear View
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
The Process of Communication
A Linear View
• Represents the methodology of TV and
Radio
• Messages sent simultaneously – No taking
turns!!
• Pg. 8 in your text.
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
The Process of Communication
A Linear View
• Sender (Person creating the
message)
– Encoding (Put thoughts into
symbols – usually words)
– Message ( the information
being transmitted)
– Channel (the medium
through which the message
passes)
– Decoding ( Makes sense of
• Receiver (the person
attending to the message)
– Noise (distractions the
disrupt transmission)
• External (physical)
• Physiological
• Psychological
– Environments
the message)
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
The Process of Communication
A Transactional View
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
The Process of Communication
A Transactional View
• Sender/Receiver becomes Communicator
• We Send and Receive Messages
Simultaneously
• Communicators Often Occupy Different
Environments
• Often done by phone, e-mail, IM, Text,
letters – Page 10-11 in your text!
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
The Process of Communication
A Transactional View (cont.)
• Communication Channels Retain Importance
• Noise Continues to Be Important
• Communication is With Others, Not To Them
• Relational Communication is Unique
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Question:
When Tomas failed his calculus exam, he was
so upset that he couldn’t understand the
explanations provided by his professor. This
example best illustrates:
a. external noise
b. physiological noise
c. psychological noise
d. feedback noise
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Communication Principles
• Communication Can Be Intentional or
Unintentional
• It’s Impossible Not to Communicate it
happens verbally or nonverbally!
• Communication is Irreversible
• Communication is Unrepeatable
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Avoiding Communication
Misconceptions
• Meanings are Not in Words
• Successful Communication Doesn’t Always
Involve Understanding
• More Communication is Not Always Better
• No Single Person or Event Causes Another’s
Reaction
• Communication Will not Solve All Problems
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Nature of Interpersonal
Communication-Two Views
• Quantitative—Dyadic – two people –
can be impersonal or personal
• Qualitative - personal
–
–
–
–
–
–
Uniqueness
Irreplaceability
Interdependence
Disclosure
Intrinsic Rewards
Scarcity
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Question:
Qualitatively interpersonal communication is
different from less personal interaction in which of
the following ways?
a.
Qualitatively interpersonal relationships are characterized
by the development of unique rules and roles.
b. In a qualitatively interpersonal relationship, you spend time
with the other person because you find the time
personally rewarding.
c. In a qualitatively interpersonal relationship, you feel more
comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings.
d. All of the above statements are true.
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Technology and
Interpersonal Communication
• Computer-Mediated Communication
• May Reduce Face-to-Face Communication
• May Enhance Interpersonal Communication
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Personal and Impersonal
Communication:
A Matter of Balance
• Most Relationships are not Either Interpersonal
Or Impersonal
– Personal Elements in Impersonal Encounters
– Impersonal Elements in Interpersonal Encounters
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Communicating About Relationships
Content and Relational Messages
• The Content is the Subject
• The Relational Dimension
Makes Statements About
How the Parties Feel
Toward the Other
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Communicating About Relationships
Types of Relational Messages
•
•
•
•
•
Affinity
Immediacy
Respect
Control
Metacommunication
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Question:
Regina tends to interrupt Philip often, and
she talks much more than he does on a
regular basis. This example best relates to
which of the following relational messages?
a. affinity
b. respect
c. conversation control
d. decision control
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Communication Competence
• Involves Achieving One’s Goals While
Preserving Relationships
• No “Ideal” Way to Communicate
– Pg 30
• Competence is Situational
– Pg 31
• Competence is Relational
– Pg 31
• Competence Can Be Learned
– Pg 31
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Characteristics of Competent
Communicators
• Wide Range of Behaviors – The type of person you are dealing with –
“jokester” “quiet person”
• Ability to Choose Most Appropriate Behavior
– Context - the time and place will almost always influence how you act
– Your Goal – Will shape what approach you will take
– Your Knowledge of the Other – knowing or not knowing the people you
are communicating with.
• Skill at Performing Behaviors – knowing a skill is VERY different than
performing a skill like communication!
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Communication Competence
Skill at Performing Behaviors
• Beginning Awareness – First step!
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Communication Competence
Skill at Performing Behaviors
• Beginning Awareness
• Awkwardness – expect difficulty
learning a new skill
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Communication Competence
Skill at Performing Behaviors
• Beginning Awareness
• Awkwardness
• Skillfulness –
– You handle yourself well, but you still think about what it is
you are doing
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Communication Competence
Skill at Performing Behaviors
• Beginning Awareness
• Awkwardness
• Skillfulness
• Integration – able to perform a skill without thinking
about it!
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Chapter 1 - A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships
Characteristics of Competent
Communicators
• Cognitive Complexity – to describe the ability to construct
a variety of frameworks for viewing an issue
• Empathy – seeing form another's point of view
• Self-Monitoring – pay close attention to your own
behavior and use these observations to shape the way you
behave.
• Commitment – Qualitatively, care about being committed
to another person - You care about the message!
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