And denial is mans self defence, so ‘who am i’
Id
Ego
Super ego
Alta ego
Awareness / Sub conscious/ Conscious, Confidence, Self esteem, Self worth / Identity
All of the above lists are growing stages from new born (id) to ‘I am’ (identity). As an id all you are is
one of your senses ie cold, wet, hungry, in pain etc. By the time you get to 5 you develop an ego,
hence Frauds famous quotation ‘show me a 5 year old boy, ill show you the man’. However, true as
that may be there is one more growing stages to either redeem or enhance ‘the man’ that being
super ego, the alta ego is a 2nd/ false identity used to portray a different persona.
If ‘moulding a child’ is set by 5 years old how was it done, how can it be undone? The social,
cultural and environment stages that child has spent those most important years in WILL dictate ‘the
man’ thus the subconscious is set with all the input its received. If it is set with a stable loving caring
family /social environment then the sequence of the above list will follow trouble free resulting in a
well balanced confident man without an alta ego. If however that is not the case then each sequence
will take on burdens limiting the next ones progression. Case in hand, ‘your useless, your a pain’,
‘shut up you stupid boy’, keep telling a child that and it will believe it is ‘useless, stupid’ that will
become its identity. This synario can lead to a child developing an alta ego.
In contrast, there is the ‘Acorn’ theory of ‘nurture, nature’. Was the child born that way or are both
parents academic masters therefore so will be the child (nature)? Ahh but if the grandparents were
not academic masters they were practical minded, it would follow therefore that the ‘gene pool’ of
inheritance may make the child practical not an academic master so for me i take little merit from
the Acorn theory other than ‘somewhere’ amongst the genes the child will be A or B, Ab or Ba.
What’s in the child’s genes and how it progresses in its later life is down to nurture as well as nature.
If a child is not shown and encouraged (nurture) to be either A or B its environment could dictate its
nature.
My identity, i claim my right to denial, I AM a master in all fields. (Ok so im a useless bum, i hate
myself and wish i was dead ok? Happy now)? WOW what happened there? So lets go back to Id and
find out ah. Because Id was put down ego never developed to ‘IM SUPERMAN’, THAT crushed his
awareness and got stuck in his subconscious. (there’s chance yet) Starting school, quiet, with drawn
child (wonder why, quick encourage and nurture him?) so quiet everyone either ignores him or
bullies him that being the case it will hit the conscious, defer to denial it didn’t happen ‘HAD A GOOD
DAY AT SCHOOL, OW YES THANKS’,tuck it away in subconscious and forget. Ow dear High school,
super ego has no confidence because subconscious was overloaded with lifes experiences.
So, from this you can see the synario of how a childs confidence gets distroyed? Find it quick
adolescence is just calling with super ego. Due to adolesance and no confidence he cant get a girl
friend? The peers and bully tease him more (ow dear alter egos here now) A JOB? YOUR KIDDING
ME YOU???? Your useless, you cant even look at me to talk, youve no confidence?
I CLAIM DENIAL , been tought about ‘ i am, i will I CAN’, or has alter ego kicked in?
I can? HOW? Watch and see. I AM qualified with a degree and a masters in 4 topics and give me any
tool ill show you how to use it. I AM an academic practical master its been my life’s work so im not
allowing you to throw it away to sweep floors because you think im stupid. Neither am i throwing it
away because i have issue with the nurturing i come from. (or is that his alta ego lying?) I AM, i
rebuilt himself adding confidence, and with it came self esteem to clean out the subconscious.
The same scenario can happen to an adult whos partner is a bully, go do, you will do, so your
confidence, self worth, self esteem goes out of the window and you become a scared door mat to be
walked over.
Taking this all into consideration THEN the young man starts to earn a living and mix with peer’s, alot
of these peers in ‘a work environment’ will show there alter ego NOT themselves, WHY you may
ask? Because they have little confidence and want to appear they are top dog, when truth be known
these people are very nervous and insecure. EVERY work environment on this planet has alter egos
working there (unless its Microsoft computers haha) so ‘we’ either get to know them and there
super ego OR we just work, ignore them and go home to friends and family with a smile.
As a species ‘we’ spend 1/3 of our life working, 1/3 ‘at home’ and 1/3 sleeping so prioritise? Whats
the most important 3rd.!!!
If your stuck at home 24/7 youve no conversation so ‘home’ gets tense, arguments start, sleep
patterns get disrupted and you wake up tired and grumpy. WORK ‘home honey, i did have a great
day today, hope you did. i did X, then i did Y, so then we all did Z, im really proud of my work today i
did well (self esteem boost) i even showed the boss how to do the job (confidence boost) etc. So
‘that night’ youve got interesting varied conversations all of which boost each others ‘self’s’. This
train of rational goes further though, ow darling im so proud of you and your work (your in his/her
good books). Lets finish a nice day with a meal out. Hows my partner? Well S/HE IS, HAS DONE, DID
ACHIEVE- confidence ego self esteem self worth PRIDE IN YOUR PARTNER ACHIEVMENTS, a deeper
love and respect. Soooo night time will be pleasant, you may wake tired but you wont be grumpy.
The most important, the 3rd? Work, as for its environment, you either like the people there or you
do the 3 brass monkeys! Hear all, see all say nothing, leave there alter ego to fantasize and just do
your job, take pride in it and go home smiling. Life only has 2 stable guarantees, children are born
and people die what happens in between is down to good luck, knowledge/ experiance and wisdom
and that comes with age. Sadly the media tries to belittle our work force by ‘is that ALL you earn?
Well yes it is but more work wont give me the love and contentment i have at home, if i loose that i
loose sleep so i wont be any good at my job. Thats the reality, if you care to differ lets discuss alter
ego’s. Regardless of age or how good or bad your childhood was if you cant look into the mirror at
your eyes and shout YOUR GREAT then, at some point an issue or person has tampered with the list
ive been referring to. Not bringing religion’s in but, as all of the ‘bibles’ would have us believe, ‘do
unto others as you would to yourself’. If you have issue’s then back track to ID, youl find the
causation of eg why you let people be nasty and boss you around.
What is here is a condensed version of an old paper i did once, ‘cause and effect’ and ‘growing
stages of ego’ (sounds like something from Frankenstein haha). In closing i would mention that few
know about Alter ego (denial) and often it’s concept can be misunderstood to be an ailment such as
Bi Polar. Far from, it is simply an ‘alternative state of mind’ we subconsciously slip into, a prime
example, a mad axe killer stops raving and portrays himself as a sweet priest because the police
want to talk to him.
I hope this has been of help, feel free to open discussions on any points mentioned/ how it effects
your daily life and ways forward to ‘set things right. I look forward to discussions.
steve