Presented by
Joan Normandy-Dolberg,
LPC, NCC
Family Counseling of Springfield
703-569-1300 jdolberg@cox.net

 The Center for Adoption Support and Education (CASE) joined with the Rural Adoptive
Family Initiative (RAFI) to offer two 48 hour intensive training programs to 20 therapists who were interested in learning more about the full spectrum of adoption related issues.
 The training utilized the Adoption Clinical Training (ACT), developed by Sharon Roszia, MS and Deborah Silverstein, L.C.S.W., leaders in the field of adoption and affiliated with the
Kinship Center in California. Over 3,500 clinicians had been previously trained in ACT.
 Debbie Riley, Executive Director of the Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.) and Sharon Roszia, MS, led formal lectures, small group discussions and experiential activities.
 We continue to meet to staff cases and update our education.
 Participants received over 48 continuing education credits , as well as a certification of completion of the training.
 Grant #90-CO-0994 to the Virginia Dept of Social Services from the U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services


More than 135,000 adoptions take place annually.
 In the US more than 13,000 adoptions involve babies who are voluntarily relinquished.

Of non-stepparent adoptions, approximately

59 percent are from the child welfare system,


26 percent are international, and
15 percent are voluntarily relinquished domestic infant adoptions.
 About half of all infant adoptions are carried out by independent practitioners, who facilitate birthparents' placing their children directly with potential adoptive parents.

Service fees for infant adoptions typically range from $20,000 to $35,000.

The vast majority of adoption agencies, as well as independent practitioners, offer open adoptions, in which identifying information is exchanged. Many of the adoptions they arrange also are mediated adoptions, in which ongoing information is exchanged through the agency.

Adoptee
Adoptive
Family
Birth Family

REJECTION
MASTERY/
CONTROL
LOSS
INTIMACY
GUILT/
SHAME
GRIEF
IDENTITY

ADOPTED
PERSON
•Birth Family
•Biological, genetic & cultural history
•Belonging
•Security
BIRTH PARENT
•Child
•Social isolation
•Body & self image
•Tentative future relationships
ADOPTIVE
PARENT
•“Dream” child
•Immortality
•Self
•Entitlement

ADOPTED
PERSON
•Not keepable
•Self esteem issues
•Fear of abandonment
•Fear of exclusion
BIRTH PARENT
•Society’s condemnation
•Afraid the child will hate them
•Feels “not worthy”
•Expects rejection
ADOPTIVE
PARENT
•Not in the “club”
•Scapegoats partner
•Fear of
“selection” process
•Potential rejection by or of the child

BIRTH PARENT ADOPTED
PERSON
ADOPTIVE
PARENT
•Tainted
•A mistake
•Different
•Defensive/ angry
•Party to a secret
•How much to share?
•Who do I tell?
•Fears judgment
•Double-bind
•Body is faulty
•Social view that adoption is 2nd choice
•Am I really the parent?
•Am I causing the child’s problems?

BIRTH PARENT ADOPTED
PERSON





Somatic issues
No permission to grieve
Depression
Acting out
Lack of “fit”




Pushed to
“move on”
Denies the experience
Blocked by shame
Anger displacement
ADOPTIVE
PARENT




Adoption of fantasy child not a fix
Blocks attachment
Impacts parenting
Culture & race differences

ADOPTED
PERSON




Am I “real”?
Minimal history impacts self worth
“Borrowed” sense of belonging
Intensifies in teen years
BIRTH PARENT ADOPTIVE
PARENT



Am I “real”?
Diminished sense of self
Not sure if and how they fit into their child’s life



Am I “real”?
Impacts ability to pass on heritage
& legacy
Intergenerational struggle & confusion

BIRTH PARENT ADOPTED
PERSON



Fear of getting close
Concerns about incest
Missed being nuzzled & adored in their sweet baby bodies



Intimacy = loss
At risk for multiple relationships
Impacts relationship with other children
ADOPTIVE
PARENT



Relationship difficulties
Child’s distance triggers fear
Missed early opportunities

BIRTH PARENT ADOPTED
PERSON
ADOPTIVE
PARENT



Not part of the decision
Being in charge holds loss at bay
Win/lose issues loom large



“Driven” behaviors
Eating & substance abuse issues
“Re-dos” to gain control



No control over their own body
Adoption process makes individual feel even more helpless
Entitlement issues







According to a study quoted in the May 05, 2008 issue of Time magazine, adopted adolescents are at greater risk for behavior or emotional problems
Clinicians from the University of Minnesota interviewed (in person) nearly 700 adopted children and 540 non-adopted children, all ages 11 to 21. Participants had to have a nonadopted sibling within the same age range to help compare behaviors.
This study found that about 14 percent of adopted adolescents are diagnosed with a behavioral disorder or have contact with a mental health professional. The rate for nonadopted teens is about half that.
The study shows that this discrepancy could be due to genetic issues or prenatal care, rather than the fact that adoptive parents are more proactive than the general population about recognizing the signs/symptoms, having their children tested, and seeking care psychiatric care for them.
The study also concluded that children adopted domestically (U.S.) are more likely to have behavioral disorders than those adopted internationally . Children of intercountry adoption are far more likely to internalize their problems (depression and separation anxiety disorders are common), whereas children adopted domestically tend to act out.
Source:Kathleen Kingsbury, “Adoptees More Likely to be Troubled,” TIME magazine, 5/5/08








Lack of understanding/anger
Parenting struggles
Lack of “goodness of fit”
Low self esteem & identity issues
Feelings of loss of control
Grief due to loss
Inability to develop & maintain intimate relationships







Establish rapport
Assess mastery & understanding of adoption experience
Assess attachment issues
Normalize feelings & behavior
Provide psycho-education for all members of the family
Increase self esteem through various activities

Self Esteem Eco-Maps Time Lines
Life Books Genograms Bibliotherapy







Provide opportunities to try new things
Allow chances to feel “in charge”

Balance expectation & ability

Allow for mistakes

Validate feeling & thoughts

Model appropriate behavior & attachment

Use filial therapy








…are graphical representations that show all of the systems at play in a client’s life. Eco-maps are used as a way of demonstrating Systems Theory so that both the counselor and the client can refer to it during a session.
At the center of the eco-map is the client (this can either be a family or individual). Family connections and connections to all of the relevant systems that are at play in the clients life are represented by lines
Thicker (darker) lines mean stronger relationship
Crossed or red lines mean that the system is a stressful relationship; dashed lines indicate an uncertain relationship
Arrows pointing to the client mean that the system primarily influences the client
Arrows pointing to the system mean that the client primarily influences the system
Arrows pointing both direction depicts a two direction flow of influence


A stressful, conflict-laden relationship ++++++

A tenuous, uncertain relationship - - - - - - - - -

A positive relationship or resource _________

The direction of the giving & receiving exchange or a relationship or resource 

Girl
Scouts
Mike Amy
Patty
Colin
Sue
School

Adoptive Parents
Adopted Children






Tangible & truthful
Compilation of events
Reality based
Non-verbal access to feelings
Incorporates child’s view of events


Container for mementos and photos
“Road trips” & internet searches might be needed to fill them in

Drawings and representations are included


Birth family and history

Reasons for placement

Foster care and adoption history

Feelings

Explanation of past events

The future


Non-confrontive

Private & gentle

Validating

Helps children make sense of their adoption

Normalizes fear and confusion

Helps parents understand their children’s feelings










When Love Is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD by
Nancy L. Thomas
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by
Sherrie Eldridge
Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring
Advice for Every Adoptive Parent by Lois Ruskai Melina
This is Me - Memories to Gather and Keep by Susan L. Pierce
Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by
Gregory Keck, Regina M. Kupecky
Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah D. Gray
Adopting the Older Child by Claudia L. Jewett
Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families by Ronald S. Federici
Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best








The Waiting Child: How the Faith and Love of One Orphan
Saved the Life of Another by Cindy Champnella
Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child
By Trish Maskew
Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families With Special-
Needs Kids : A Guide for Parents and Professionals
By Gregory C. Keck, Regina M. Kupecky
Understanding Attachment and Attachment Disorders:
Theory, Evidence and Practice by Vivien Prior, Danya
Glaser
Parenting With Love and Logic (Updated and Expanded
Edition) by Foster W. Cline, Jim Fay
Taking the Stress Out of Raising Great Kids by Jim Fay, Charles Fay, Foster Cline
Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in
Deeply Troubled Children by Daniel A. Hughes
Facilitating Developmental Attachment: The Road to
Emotional Recovery and Behavioral Change in Foster and
Adopted Children by Daniel A. Hughes










 www.genopro.com/genogram http://www.adoptionsupport.org/ http://www.barkerfoundation.org/
National Adoption Information Clearinghouse http://naic.acf.hhs.gov
TEL (888) 251-0075 FAX (703) 385-3206 http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/post-adoption-resources-2.html
http://www.childrensdisabilities.info/attachment-links.html
www.ldonline.org
http://www.familyhelper.net/ad/adnlu.html
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/loismelina http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/index.php