Agenda:
Capitalization & Punctuation
Words & Wordiness
Peer Review Benchmark Papers
Meeting 9
Tosspon
English 155
Agenda Meeting 9
Soccer
Wordiness &
Word Logic
Benchmark
Paper
Peer Review
Awesome!
Capitalization & Punctuation
Don’t
Do!
• Days of the week, months of • Seasons
the year, holidays
• Common nouns that refer to
• Language, nationalities,
religious places like “church”
races, religions, deities,
• Titles: do not capitalize
sacred terms
articles (the), prepositions (of,
• Titles: the first word and
under, over), or short
every important term
connecting words (or, and)
unless they start the title
• First words of direct quotes
• Directions (north, south, east
• Historical events, periods
and west- unless used in a
• Brand names
place name)
• People’s names and titles
Soccer Rules
• Form into 2 teams
• 15 minutes to correct the capitalization and punctuation on the
handout
• Teams will start by assigning a player to respond.
• That player is responsible for answering that question.
• The ball will move one line forward for each ITEM the player
corrects from the handout, IN ORDER
• If they player misses one, the other team has a chance to
“steal” the ball and move it down the field the opposite
direction. If they make an error, the original team can steal
back
• Both teams will try to move the ball down the field
• When a team scores, the ball starts all the way at the other end
of the field.
Eliminating Wordiness
• Eliminate wordiness in the editing stage of the
writing process.
• With practice you will automatically eliminate
wordiness as you draft your papers.
Avoid “Be” Verbs
•am
•are
•is
•was
•were
•being
•been
“Be” verbs are considered action-less verbs and should be
changed to active verbs when appropriate.
Avoid “Be” Verbs
The boring textbook was being read by the
students.
change to
The students read the boring textbook .
Avoid “Be” Verbs
It is better to become a nurse instead of a
teacher.
change to
Nursing pays better than teaching does.
WARNING!!!
Sometimes you should use “be” verbs.
•I am 21 years old.
Or if the agent—the one performing the action—is
unknown, you may use the passive voice.
•The walls had been defaced by graffiti.
Active vs. Passive Verbs
In sentences written in the active voice, the
subject performs the action expressed by the
verb.
•Roseanne wrote the paper.
Active vs. Passive Verbs
In academic writing (with the exception of
scientific writing) active sentences are preferred
over passive ones.
Active vs. Passive Verbs
In sentences written in the passive voice, the
subject receives the action expressed by the
verb.
•The paper was written by Roseanne.
Active vs. Passive
Passive: The Old Man and the Sea was written
by Hemingway.
change to
Active: Hemingway wrote The Old Man and the
Sea.
Active vs. Passive
Passive: It is believed by some critics that Psycho
is Hitchcock’s greatest film.
change to
Active: Some critics believe that Psycho is
Hitchcock’s greatest film.
WARNING!
At times, it may be appropriate to write in the passive
voice. The passive voice is preferred in scientific papers.
•Experiments have been conducted to test the safety of
generic pharmaceuticals.
English and Humanities papers, however, are written in
the active voice.
•Dr. Harker conducted experiments to test the safety of
generic pharmaceuticals.
Condense Phrases into Single Words
The employee with ambition got the promotion.
change to
The ambitious employee got the promotion.
Condense Phrases into Single Words
Rob decided to retake the class at a later date in
time.
change to
Rob decided to retake the class later.
All these phrases can be condensed
into one word.
•
•
•
•
•
the reason for
for the reason that
due to the fact that
in light of the fact that
considering the fact
that
• this is why
= because, since, why
All these phrases can be condensed
into one word.
• on the occasion of
• in a situation in which
• under circumstances in
which
= when
All these phrases can be condensed
into one word.
•
•
•
•
•
it is crucial that
it is necessary that
there is a need for
it is important that
cannot be avoided
= must, should
All these phrases can be condensed
into one word.
•
•
•
•
it is possible that
there is a chance that
it could happen that
the possibility exists for
= may, might, could
Avoid Repetitive Wording
end result = end
past experience = past
share in common = share
small in size = small
Avoid Repetitive Wording
made a discovery = discovered
made an attempt = attempted
made an accusation = accused
made an appearance = appeared
made a decision = decided
Avoid THESE Wordings
I thought in my head
I thought to myself
In my mind, I think
In my opinion, I think
= I thought
= I think
form
it + be-verb
or
there + beverb
Wordy: It is the governor who signs or
vetoes bills. (9 words)
Concise: The governor signs or vetoes
bills. (6 words)
Wordy: There are four rules that should
be observed: ... (8 words)
Concise: Four rules should be
observed:... (5 words)
Wordy: There was a big explosion,
which shook the windows, and
people ran into the street. (15 words)
Concise: A big explosion shook the
windows, and people ran into the
street. (12 words)
Avoid overusing expletives at the
…………beginning of sentences
Review
• Avoid “be” verbs:
am, are, is, was, were, being, been.
• Use active rather than passive verbs.
• Condense phrases into single words.
• Omit repetitive wording.
Paramedic Method – Guide to Writing Concisely
•
•
•
•
•
Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)
Draw a box around the "is" verb forms
Ask, "Where's the action?"
Change the "action" into a simple verb
Move the doer into the subject
(Who is kicking whom?)
• Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups
• Eliminate any redundancies.
Paramedic Method Practice
5. Move
“doer” to
the subject
1. The point I wish to make is that the
employees working at this company are
in need of a much better manager
6. Eliminate any
4. Begin
rewrite, slow
unnecessary
of their money.
using the action
1. Circle the
prepositions
(use handout)
2. Draw a box
around the
“is” or “be”
verb
wind-ups
as
mainany
7. your
Eliminate
verb
redundancies.
3. Ask “where is
the action.”
Rewrite:
Rewrite:Employees
The
Thepoint
pointI wish
at
I wish
Smith
totomake
&
make
Wesson
isisthat
that
need
the
theemployees
aemployees
better money
working
manager.
at this
company
working need
at this________________.
company need need ____________________:
Paramedic Method Practice
2.InItrecent
is widely
thatatthe
engineers
atparticipated
Sandia
2.
years,known
engineers
Sandia
Labs have
inLabs
the Search
and Rescue
operations.
have become
active
participants in the
(Original
count: 24.
New word in
count:
Searchword
and Rescue
operations
most16).
years.
3.After
After
reviewing
results
of your
previous
3.
reviewing
thethe
results
of your
research,
and
within
the context
theofstudy,
we find evidence
research,
and in of
light
the relevant
information
supporting
significant
changes
operating
found within
the context
of in
theour
study,
there is
procedures.
ample evidence for making important,
(Original
word
count: 36.
Newoperating
word count:
25).
significant
changes
to our
procedures.
Word Logic
Chpt 7
There, Their, They’re
• There is an adverb meaning "that location." It is sometimes
used with the verb to be as an idiom. It is spelled like here
which means "this location."
– I put the collar right there. (that location)
– There are five prime numbers less than ten. (with to be)
• Their is a possessive pronoun. It always describes a noun.
– Note the spelling of their. It comes from the word they, so the e
comes before the i.
– Their dog has fleas. (possessive of they)
• They're is a contraction of they are.
– Note the spelling: The a from are is replaced by an apostrophe.
– They're number 1! (contraction of they are)
Ways to remember. If you see HERE it is a place! (Where, There,
Here). If you see HEIR it means they own something.
To, Too, Two
• To is a preposition which begins a prepositional phrase or an
infinitive.
– We went to a baseball game. (preposition)
– We like to watch a good ball game. (infinitive)
• Too is an adverb meaning "excessively" or "also."
Way to remember: TOO is extra, also, excessive. It has
excessive O’s
– We ate too much. (meaning "excessively")
– I like baseball, too. (meaning "also")
• Two is a number.
Way to remember: Words which reflect the number two are
spelled with tw: twin, twice, between, tweezers, etc.
– Six divided by three is two. (number)
– They own two Brittany spaniels. (number)
Who’s/Whose
Whose → those
Who’s = who is
• Who's is a contraction of who (pron.) and
is (v.)
– Who's awesome?
Whose means “who owns” or “who was”,
etc. It is a possessive pronoun (adj.)
– Whose responsibility was it
to bring eggs?
Your, You’re
• your is a possessive adjective,
indicating ownership of something
• That is your sock.
• Where is your potato?
• you're is a contraction (combination)
of you and are
• Do you know what you're doing?
• You're stupid.
• WTR: if you own it, it is yours. If you can replace
it with You Are, then it is you’re
Its/It’s
• It's is a contraction for it is.
– It's been good to know you. it has
– It's a trap! Contraction: it is
• Its is a possessive pronoun meaning, more or
less, of it or belonging to it.
– The cat liked its carrier.
• WTR: A simple test
– If you can replace it[']s
in your sentence with it is or
it has, then your word is it's;
otherwise, your word is its.
Quiet, Quite, Quit
• Quiet (adj) “of little activity,” (n.) meaning
“tranquility” or “silence.”
(v.) “to cause to be quiet.”
– After lunch the children enjoyed an hour of quiet play.
– We enjoyed the quiet of the countryside.
• Quite (adv) - “totally” or “completely.”
– She was quite exhausted after the warm-up exercise.
• Quit - to stop, cease, desist.
– I quit smoking.
Which, Witch
• Which – options
– Which way should we go?
• Witch – evil, bad, or magical female
– My sister is a witch.
Way to remember: A witch is a
*itch that you don’t want
to mess with.
Choose/chose
• Choose is PRESENT TENSE for making a
choice in the present.
– You choose to take a Tylenol right now.
• Chose is PAST TENSE – tells that a choice was
made in the past.
– You chose tequila last night.
WTR: 1 O = Over, happened in the past
Than / Then
• Than is a conjunction used
with comparisons. rhymes with pan.
– He likes you more than me.
• Then is an adverb that refers to time.
It rhymes with pen.
– First you take a cup of flour,
and then you sift it.
WTR: ThAn for CompArison
Whether, Weather
• Weather is usually a noun, can also be verb that means "to be
affected by the weather” or "to get/live through”
–
–
–
–
How's the weather?
The weather is always great this time of year
That house is really weathered
I know we can weather this crisis
Whether is a conjunction that introduces possibilities or
alternatives:
– The cat can’t choose whether to cause
mischief or not.
– Whether you win or lose,
you'll have done your best
•
Ways to remember: whether is
interchangeable with "if," while weather indicates the
temperature and atmospheric conditions.
Cite/Site/Sight
• Cite – to quote, summon, commend or call.
Cite the author in an endnote.
The officer cited the drunk driver.
• Site – location, area, computer
website, or to place something in an area
You visit a Web site or the
Cite = Call attention to
site of the crime.
• Sight – the act of seeing,
a view, a glimpse/ observation,
to look in a direction.
I lost my sight in an accident.
Site = Scene, location
Sight = vision
Waist/Waste
• Waste: (n) discarded objects,
(v) to use carelessly
– He wasted too much time.
– The waste was toxic!
• Waist – (n) middle portion of the body
– This model is bending at the waist.
Way to remember: if its on my body, it needs an i.
We’re, Were, Where
• Were – (v) past tense of are.
– Their eyes were watching god.
• We’re – contraction of we
(pronoun) + are (v).
– We’re not perfect.
• Where (adv) is at/in what place.
– Where is Carmen Sandiego?
WTR – when you see HERE it is a place!
Through / Threw
• Through means from one point to its end
(adv.) or because of (prep.)
– I went through a lot of pain.
• Threw is the past tense of throw which means to
toss or to fling (v.)
– He threw the ball right at me!
Way to remember: -EW = an action, a THROW.
Btw “thru” is an abbreviation, it’s NOT to be used
outside of text messaging.
Write, Right, Rite
• Write (v): to form letters/words, to compose
– I will write this paper, I guess.
• Right (adj) correct, conforming to justice
(n) power or privilege,
direction opposite of left.
– What is the right answer???!
• Rite (n): traditional (often religious) ceremony.
– A bridal shower is a rite of passage.
Way to remember: not left but RIGHT,
Written is based on Write.
Do/Due
• Do – to perform, to create, to deal
with, to handle
– I will do it later.
• Due – owed, because of
– No one would hang out with him,
due to his temper.
– The money is due.
WTR: If it involves $ (or means “because of”) use the
UE version
Lose / Loose
• Lose (v) to suffer the loss of, to miss.
– I win! You lose!
– Don't lose your keys
– I never lose bets
• Loose (Adj), the opposite of tight or
contained.
– My shoes are loose.
– I have a loose tooth.
– There's a goose running loose in the street.
• WTR: This confusion can easily be avoided if you pronounce the word
intended aloud. If it has a voiced Z sound, then it’s “lose.” If it has a
hissy S sound, then it’s “loose.” Loose rhymes with GOOSE, and both
need 2 O’s
Maybe / May be
• Maybe, the compound word, is an adverb
meaning "perhaps" or "possibly."
– Maybe I will go out tonight.
• May be is a verb phrase meaning "might be"
or "could be."
– I may be going out tonight.
• If you can replace it with
2 words (“might be”) it IS
two words.
Passed/Past
• Past: (adj, adv, noun, or prep) previously (a period of
time before now) or a distance.
Beyond in time, space, distance, amount
– The team performed well in the past.
– The police car drove past the suspect’s house.
• Passed, is an action. The past tense is “passed“:
– The red truck passed the blue truck.
– The teacher was astonished that none of the students had
passed the test.
– After a brief illness, he passed away.
Ways to Remember: however you have
”passed the time” you have never
“past the time,” not even in the distant past.
Beside/Besides
• Besides (Adv, prep) can mean
“in addition to”
Do you have any shirt besides the pink one.
• WTR : if it has an S it means “extra” (like a plural)
• Beside (prep, adv) in contrast, usually means
“next to.”
Pooh stood beside Rabbit, laughing.
Accept/Except
• Accept (v)– "to receive."
– He accepted the gift. (He received it.)
• Except (prep, v) is usually a preposition meaning
"but" or "leaving out." However, except can also
be a verb meaning "to leave out."
– He liked everyone except Sabrina.
– Way to remember –
EX is like your EX
that you want to LEAVE OUT!
Excess/Access
• Access –(n, v, adj)
a way to enter.
– This place has internet access?!
• Excess ––(n, v, adj)
too much
Excess fat in your diet is bad.
• WTR: EX = TOO MUCH.
Affect/Effect
• Affect –(v) to influence or
alter in some way. Use
the verb affected when
you mean influenced |
rather than caused.
– The arrow affected the
aardvark’s rear end.
• Effect – (n) the result of being affected. Use effect
whenever any of these words precede it: a, an, any,
the, take, into, no. (v.) Bring about, cause.
– The effects of the rain have been local flooding.
• You use Effect after The, on, any, into, or no.
ThE Effect.
Patience/ Patients
• Please have some patience: I will be able to
help you after I am done seeing these other
patients.
•
Patients = people
•
Patience = ability to wait!
Break/Brake
• Brake
– (n) mechanical device that allows one to stop travel,
or a large/coarse fern
– (n) anything that slows or hinders progress
– (v) cause to stop travel
• Break
– (v) find a flaw in, solution to, weaken or destroy in
spirit or physical sense, fall sharply, crack,
become fractured, happen, ruin,
escape from jail, scatter or part, etc.
Words in common use that aren’t words
•
•
•
•
Alot
Alright
Irregardless
Its’