Individual Leadership:
Understanding Your Communication Style
Session 5
Anita Verna Crofts
Elisabeth Mitchell
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Listening/Learning Styles
• Visual
• Auditory
• Kinesthetic
We use these modes to help us determine our
message and how we will communicate it to
others. We also use these modes to determine
what it is that other people are really telling us.
- Michael Shadow
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Listening/Learning Styles
• Most of us have a combination of Visual,
Auditory, and Kinesthetic modes
When you are speaking to a group of
people or listening to an individual, what
can you do to give each “mode” in your
audience what it needs so that they will
understand your message?
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Visual Listeners/Learners
• Learn best by seeing things
• Respond to color, shapes, and language
that reflects this
• Influenced by body language, eye contact,
and facial expressions
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Visual Examples
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Photos
Charts and graphs
Colored font
Graphic images
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Auditory Listeners/Learners
• Learn best by hearing things
• Respond to an organized and well paced
delivery of information
• Influenced by the tone, pitch, and volume
of someone’s voice
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Auditory Examples
• Talking through an issue “out loud”
• Music
• Using the phone for a conversation
instead of sending an email or a letter
• Reading a piece of writing out loud to
better understand it
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Kinesthetic Listeners/Learners
• Learn while active: touch, feel, do!
• Respond to activities where they move
and experiment, or alternatively, language
that is inspires the idea of movement
• Influenced by the tactile aspects of
learning: “hands on approach”
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Kinesthetic Examples
• Pacing to help you think
• Learning a skill by using your hands
• Prefer a demonstration over a written set
of instructions
• Reacting to “gut feelings” in decisionmaking
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Why are these modes important?
• To be understood, we must tailor our
speech and hearing to the mode of the
listener
• To learn best, we must understand our
preferred “mode” of receiving information
• Given that most people learn in multiple
modes, we must work to include a variety
in how we communicate with others
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Individual Listening/Learning Style
• Even though we use multiple modes every
day, most of us have a strong preference
for either Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic.
• Identifying that preferred mode is yourself
an others is part of the leadership process
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Intersection of Listening and
Leadership
How to be an active listener
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Characteristics of Successful Leaders
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open-minded
good listeners
flexible – can adapt and readjust
systematic in giving and receiving feedback
communicates well (shares vision, brings others along ,
shares information, receives new information)
creative
inclusive
institute self-education/learning
take action to make change
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Effective Listening Skill Survey
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Why don’t we listen?
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We are busy!
Distractions
Thinking of other things
Thinking about what we’ll say next
Want to immediately problem-solve
We think faster than we speak
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Kinds of Listening
• Competitive/Combative
• Passive or Attentive (but doesn’t take
action)
• Active or Reflective
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Active Listening
• Active listening is a structured way of
listening and responding to others. It
focuses on the speaker.
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Benefits of Active Listening
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Avoid or clarify misunderstandings
Resolve conflict
Build trust
Get staff (and others) to talk
Get more information to be better able to
persuade, influence, and negotiate
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Listening with a Purpose
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Listen to understand
What’s behind the words?
Listen for feelings
Pay attention to body language
Paraphrase
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
What must happen first?
• Understand your communication style
• Be aware of your non-verbal
communication
• Be aware of your position and how that
affects how others listen to you
• What are you modeling?
• What kind of environment to you want to
create?
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Understand your communication
style
• Know yourself.
• Practice subjectivity.
• Be aware that the meanings and use of
facts and language are relative.
• Be aware of your position.
• Risk honesty in communication.
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
The person who is actively listened to will
FEEL HEARD
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Ability to Listen is Affected By:
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What is being communicated
Who is communicating it
Whether or not we feel it is our problem
Time
Place
Situation (and history)
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
How to do it?
– Stop talking.
– Put person at ease.
– Show the person you want to hear
them.
– Show agreement but ask
questions if you don’t understand.
– Listen to understand. (Not just for
your turn!)
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
–Remove distractions
–Stand in their shoes. Empathize.
–Be patient.
–Be aware of your emotions.
–Be slow to disagree, criticize, or
argue.
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
–Be slow to solve the problem or to
minimize it.
–Be quick to paraphrase.
– Stop talking (even in your head!).
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
The Listening Response
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Acknowledges what the other person
says
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Tests the meaning with the other person
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Encourages the other person to say more
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Explores the other person’s perspective
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008
Active Listening
• Adapted from:
• UW Cascade Center for Public Service: “Interpersonal
and Communication Skills June 8, 2006. Prof. John
Boehrer.
• UW Training and Development, “Facilitative Leadership”
Winter 2001. Jonathan Halperin
• Great Question! ™ Practicing the Art of asking
Enlightening questions that Empower People to Excel in
every aspect of life. Carolyyn Conlinn.
Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I
February 2-6, 2008