English 9A: Exposition
Tentative Schedule
Skills students need to learn in the Expository section in order to be successful for the Interim Assessment that
must be completed and turned in by October 24.
Expository Section:
 7 strategies for Determining a Word’s Meaning from Context (page 3)
o important for Town Send Press (TSP), SRI, SAT
 Common Rhetorical Patterns (page 5)
 Read and Annotate (page 9)
 4Qs (page 25)
 Transition Words (page 30)
 Outline (page 38)
 Summarizing Dos and Don’ts (page 43)
 FATT (page 44)
 Summarize articles
o “Paying Kids to go to School” (page 46)
 Read and annotate
 FATT
 Outline
 Summarize
o “Student Ids that Track Students” (page 50)
 ` Read and annotate
 FATT
 Outline
 Summarize
o “Startling Finds on Teenage Brains” (page 53)
 Read and annotate
 FATT
 Outline
 Summarize
 Punctuating Titles (page 60)
 Integrating Quotes (TIES) (page 61)
Argumentative Section:
 Rhetorical Triangle (page 1)
o Logos
o Ethos
o Pathos
 Fallacies (page 4)
 Evaluating Articles (apply Rhetorical triangle, fallacies, and evaluating articles to global warming and
College isn’t for everyone) (page 8)
o Global Warming (page 9)
 See sample of how to evaluate articles
o College isn’t for everyone (page 20)
 Apply what they learn
 DISTRICT INTERIM ASSESSMENT (due by OCTOBER 24, 2015)
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English 9A: Exposition
Course Description
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Length – one semester
Inspiration – Common Core standards
Focus 1 – expository and argumentative writing
o We’ll learn how to
 read and annotate
 generate a working outline
 extend ideas presented in primary and secondary sources
 synthesize the content of several sources dealing with a single issue
 evaluate the credibility of an author’s argument (fallacies)
 deliver logical arguments
 accurately integrate quotes
 write using MLA format (in-text citations /proper heading/ style)
Focus 2 – vocabulary development
o We’ll learn
 300+ words appropriate for college and the professional world
 how to distinguish between denotative and connotative meanings
 technical terms related to analyzing arguments
Focus 3 – mechanics
o We’ll learn
 grammar
 the essential qualities of well-written paragraphs and essays
Focus 4 – reading
o We’ll learn
 how to become better readers of expository and argumentative texts
Major Assignments
o position paper (comprised of three 3-5 page sections)
o vocabulary exercises, quizzes, and tests
o notes/quizzes/tests on readings
Grading Scale & Proportionality
A
90 – 100%
B
80 – 89%
C
70 – 79%
D
60 – 69%
F
59% and below
essays
homework assignments
in-class assignments
quizzes and tests
final examination
1A
40%
20%
15%
15%
10%
2
English 9A: Exposition
Name: _______________________________ Date: ____________
Per: _____________
1B
1st Day Questions
Please answer each question in complete sentences.
1. Have you ever written an argumentative essay? What was it on? How long was it?
2. Have you ever participated in a debate in class? What was it on? Did you enjoy it?
3. Have you ever written a research paper? What was it on? How long was it?
4. Do you hope to go to college after you graduate high school? What do you hope to major in?
5. Do you have any close relatives who are attending – or who have graduated from – college? Who are they, where did
they go, and what did they major in?
6. What topics interest you? (music, history, sports, science-fiction, nature, gaming, art)
7. On a scale of 1-5, how would you rate your writing? Have you found it pretty easy to get essays done, or has writing
them been difficult?
8. How easy or difficult is it for you to study at home? Is there a private, quiet place where you can get your work done?
Are there often a lot of people there?
9. Are there any circumstances you’d like to tell me about which might affect how easily you’ll be able to get your
assignments done?
10. Do you have access to a computer and printer outside of class?
11. Do you read/write another language besides English?
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English 9A: Exposition
Seven Strategies for Determining a Word’s Meaning from Context
1.
3A
Definition and Restatement:
Students of the clarinet and other wind instruments have to work hard to perfect their
embouchere, the correct positioning of the tongue and lips on the mouthpiece of the instrument.
He was a truly hirsute individual, with hair covering nearly every square inch of his skin.
Words/Phrases Signaling Definition and Restatement
which is
or
also known as
that is
in other words
also called
2. Example
The motel we stayed at provided all the amenities, such as clean sheets and towels, a television,
and a swimming pool.
Words Signaling Examples
like
such as
3.
for instance
other
this
for example
these include
including
especially
these
Comparison
Like other reference books in the library, the Statistical Abstract is a helpful guide for
researchers.
Words Signaling Comparisons
like
similarly
resembling
related
also
in the same way
as
likewise
identical
4. Contrast
You may think him intransigent, but he’s actually pretty easy-going.
Words Signaling Contrasts
but
on the other hand
dissimilar
although
on the contrary
however
in contrast to
unlike
different
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English 9A: Exposition
5.
Cause and Effect
Since a special treatment has made this fabric impervious to moisture, the fabric is now suitable
for a raincoat.
Words Signaling Cause and Effect
because
6.
consequently when since therefore
as a result
Inference from General Context
Come enjoy the salubrious climate of California.
In this part of the country, spring is the most ephemeral of seasons. Summer is usually mild and
starts in June. Later, Labor Day marks the changing colors of fall, and the first real snowfall
comes in early December. The remainder of the winter is long and brutal. Spring, on the other
hand, lasts only a few days, vanishing almost before you know it has come.
7.
Cognates (words in different languages that come from the same root)
The contractor is clearly culpable for the collapse of the bridge. He was seldom on the job to
check the progress of the work. Records show that he authorized the use of inadequate materials
in order to cut costs. Furthermore, examination of the footings disclosed that they were not up to
specifications.
(A person who knows Spanish, or any other Romance language, has a great advantage in
learning English academic vocabulary, which often derives from Latin roots. By contrast, the
“easy” words in English are often Germanic in origin. So, English has “bug” and “insect”
(similar to “insecto” in Spanish); “guilty” and “culpable” (identical to “culpable” in Spanish;
“easy” and “facile”)
*Create a Townsend Press Account
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English 9A: Exposition
Overview of Rhetorical Patterns
5A
rhetoric: the art/science of written/oral communication
rhetorician: what someone skilled in these areas might be called
rhetorical objective (or purpose): what one hopes to achieve with one’s speech or essay
Common Rhetorical Patterns and How They Might Be Used

compare – contrast: world religions class: what are the similarities and differences
between Christianity and Islam?
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cause and effect: environmental science class: what leads to global warming and
why should we care?
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summary: history class: what were the arguments for going to war against Iraq?
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argument: criminal justice class: the United States should do away with the death
penalty
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description: geography class: the city of Zacatecas; the degree to which our rivers
are polluted
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proposal: (aka solution) sociology class: ideas for dealing with drug abuse
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definition: philosophy class: what is justice?
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classification: law class: should possession of marijuana be a misdemeanor or a
felony? zoology: should animal ‘X’ be considered a mammal or a reptile?
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Process: engineering class: how does a diesel engine work?
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Narration: psychology class: what was your childhood like?
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English 9A: Exposition
Rhetorical Patterns Review Exercise
8A
Match the Essay Topic to the Rhetorical Pattern
a)
b)
c)
d)
e)
Compare and Contrast
Cause and effect
Summary
Argument
Description
f)
g)
h)
i)
j)
Proposal
Definition
Classification
Process
Narration
Circle the key word that helped you identify the pattern. In which class would you most likely
write this type of paper?
1) What experience have you had that changed you?
2) What was happening in Los Angeles that led to the Rodney King riots?
3) Students at San Fernando High School should wear uniforms.
4) What was Los Angeles like in the 1800s?
5) Tell me about the main character Sonia Rodriguez. What does she look like and what are
her primary personality traits?
6) Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?
7) What is a mammal?
8) How do you make an omelet?
9) What are the most important events in John Lennon’s life?
10) What are the best ways to deal with pollution?
11) What was the main reason that we decided to bomb Hiroshima.
12) What is an expository essay?
13) The drinking age in California should be lowered to 18.
14) What are the similarities and differences between middle school and high school?
15) What things did Lindsay Lohan do that resulted in her loss of reputation?
16) Tell me about your most exciting day this summer.
17) What would be the best way to deal with the tardy problem at San Fernando High
School?
18) What are the primary social groups at this high school?
19) How does a cell phone work?
20) How are video games like movies? How are they different
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English 9A: Exposition
5C
9th Grade Position Paper Description
The primary focus of this course will be the composition of a 10-15 page position paper on a topic pertaining to
a significant social problem. It will be written as a class and divided into three major sections as follows:
Exposition (3-5 pages): the first purpose of this section is to explain to the reader what it is, exactly, that you’re
writing about. The second purpose is to describe the seriousness of this social problem in such a way that the
reader will agree that something needs to be done about it.
Within this section, you might consider including information related to
Cause and Effect: in which you might explain to the reader WHY this problem developed and/or what
some of the consequences of this problem are. You must be sure that these causes/effects are valid and
that you not simply list things that happened before/after the event
This part of the paper will require you to do some research at the library, on the internet, etc. You’ll want to
carefully record the sources of your information so that you can properly cite them in your paper. (We will
follow the MLA guidelines in this class.)
Summary and Analysis (3-5 pages): like the Exposition part of the paper, this section also has two parts. In the
first, you will describe approaches to dealing with the problem, and/or opinions people have for what ought to
be done to address it, which you disagree with. Once you have summarized these approaches and/or ideas, your
job in the second part of this section is to explain why you don’t like them.
Proposals (3-5 pages): once you’ve shown why current attitudes and/or approaches to dealing with the problem
are unsatisfactory, you will propose what you think are better ideas and explain why you think they ought to be
considered.
Within this section, you might consider including information related to
Process: in which you will explain a series of steps, perhaps telling the reader how to solve the problem
by following certain steps or by explaining how something works.
These sections will be written as three separate essays over the course of the semester. None of them needs to
include an introduction or conclusion, however, as they will be joined together using sub-headings. You should
plan to write the introduction and conclusion for the entire paper toward the end of the semester, once the three
sections have been completed. Brainstorming and outlining as a class will precede the composition of each part
of the paper. If you come to class regularly, you should have no trouble completing the assignment.
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English 9A: Exposition
5D
The 3 Parts of a Position Paper
Part I: Exposition:
Explain the issue. Convince the reader that it’s a problem and that
something must be done about it.
↓
Part II: Summary and Analysis:
Describe approaches/opinions people have for dealing with
the problem, and then explain why you disagree.
↓
Part III: Proposals:
What do you think are better solutions, and why?
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English 9A: Exposition
Annotating for Success: How to Read Critically
Rationale:
Reading critically is about reading closely – looking for what is stated as well as what is implied. By doing so
we can understand the author’s purpose as well as the way in which that purpose is expressed, i.e. the writer’s
stylistic choices.
Five Close Reading Strategies:
1. Number the paragraphs
2. Chunk the text
3. Underline and circle….with a purpose
4. Left Margin: What is the author SAYING?
5. Right Margin: Dig deeper into the text
Connect:
As you work with your text, consider all of the ways that you can connect with it. Here are some suggestions
that will help you with your brainstorming.
• Make connections to other parts of the book. Don’t be afraid to use quotes—just use MLA style.
• Make connections to other visual and graphic material, such as movies; comics; news events; and books,
stories, plays, poems, and even to your life.
Connect to world and engage yourself!!!
o Text to self
o Text to media
o Text to world
o Text to text
• For visual connections, include the artwork, photo, or drawing in the footnotes (don’t just describe it).
Annotate and Develop an Approach:
• Vocabulary—define words or slang; make them real for us; explore why the author would have used those
words.
Circle KEY CONCEPTS
• Underline, star, highlight, box, or circle words, phrases, and sentences.
!
Exclamation marks for
• Write brief comments in the margins: (LEFT versus RIGHT)
IMPORTANT
o Main idea of text

Question marks for those
passages your don’t understand
o Rewrite, paraphrase, or summarize a particularly difficult part

Note important issues,
o Thoughts, observations, comments, or ideas that occur to you
problems, events in story
o Questions you have or things you may not understand
development
o Do you agree/disagree
P.O.V. Note the point of view of
• Give the historical context of situations described.
the writer
Assump. Identify the assumptions
• Give an explanation of the text for clarity.
the writer is making
• Give an analysis of what is happening in the text.

Respond to the writer; do
• Do research on the Internet to see what others are saying about the text.
not summarize or dis/agree; have a
• Challenge yourself: Find some literary criticism on the author or text
discussion about the content,
assumptions and implications
Develop an Approach: create different short hand and abbreviations for
yourself. Here is a suggested set of markings you might use.
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English 9A: Exposition
Making the Grade: Ideas for Increasing the On-Time Graduation Rate at San Fernando High School
Students Enrolled in Honors 9 and Honors 12 English Courses at SFHS March 1, 2013
Introduction:
(1) For the past five years or so, America’s economy has suffered a serious decline. During this time of high
unemployment and prolonged joblessness, even those who have a high school degree have found it difficult to find
steady work. For those who lack this minimum educational requirement, securing employment is much more of a
challenge. Ironically, at a time when the percentage of American youth who graduate high school should be
increasing, it is actually moving in the opposite direction, especially in California. Many ideas have been put
forward to reverse the downward trend, but at least two of them – paying youths to go to school and fining the
parents of those who don’t – would likely only compound the problem. Two approaches with a much greater chance
of succeeding, at least with respect to the students in danger of dropping out of San Fernando High School, would be
to partner with local radio and television station owners in the broadcast of public service announcements and to
facilitate meetings between successful high school seniors and their middle school counterparts.
An Epidemic of Early Exits (Exposition)
(2) According to the most recent information available, approximately 1.3 million American teenagers drop
out of school each year. This is the equivalent of approximately 7,200 per day (Wingert). The seriousness of this
problem can also be measured in terms of the percentage of high school students who graduate on time. At last
count, it was only 68.8% -- a number considerably lower than the rates of many other economically developed
countries. Denmark, Japan, Germany, and Finland, for example, have graduation percentages of 96%, 93%, 92%,
and 91%, respectively (OECD). Many Americans would likely be surprised to learn that the United States, known
around the world as a superpower, ranks only 18th among economically developed nations in terms of its highschool-graduation rate (NEA).
(3) Compared to other states, California occupies an even lower ranking relative to other states than the US
does among its peers. With approximately one in four students leaving school before graduation, it holds the
unenviable distinction of being 41st in the percentage of secondary students it graduates on time (Blume). This
number reflects a decrease over the last ten years and contrasts with the performance of 36 states that succeeded in
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English 9A: Exposition
improving their on-time graduation rates (Education Week). Two in particular, New York and Tennessee, actually
had double-digit gains over the last decade (ibid).
(4) As bad as California is as a whole, the situation is even worse in Los Angeles, where nearly one out of
three teens gives up on school (Blume). Especially unsatisfactory is the performance of students in the Los Angeles
Unified School District (LAUSD), which graduates between 40 (Wingert) and 56 percent (LAUSD School Report
Card) of its students on time – depending, respectively, on whether independent or district sources are used in
calculating on-time graduation rates. The second-largest school district in the United States, LAUSD is also the
second worst in the nation in terms of this critically important measure (Education Week). Each year, roughly
40,000 of its students make the decision to abandon their educations (ibid). Compared to the New York City school
district, which is twice its size, LAUSD graduates 14% fewer students (ibid).
(5) Of particular concern to our class is the fact that San Fernando High School’s on-time graduation rate is
only slightly higher than that of LAUSD, the district it belongs to. For the 2011-12 school year, only 55% of its
students completed their high school education on time (LAUSD School Report Card). This means that out of 825
seniors who might have graduated, only 455 did, and that 370 are left to make their way in the world without the
piece of paper required of job applicants by the majority of employers and of would-be students by post-secondary
educational institutions.
(6) Another way to look at the problem is to consider how the percentage of on-time graduations has fared
over time. Whereas the National Center for Educational Statistics claims that there has been a 3% increase in this
rate between 1997 and 2007 (NCES), outside experts contend that the actual dropout rates have gotten much worse
over the past 40 years than what are officially reported (Heckman).
(7) Those who study this problem often discuss it in terms of demographics. When it comes to ethnicity,
researchers have found that there is a huge difference between the on-time graduation rates of whites and minorities,
with Asians being a notable exception. Indeed, the gap between some ethnic groups is as much as 40 to 50
percentage points (Alliance for Education). Asians are the most successful of all ethnic groups, graduating 89.6% of
their high school students on time (NEA). Not too far behind are non-Hispanic whites, whose rate in 2010 was 81%
(ibid). Much less successful are Hispanics, African Americans, and Native Americans, whose rates are 56%, 54%,
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English 9A: Exposition
and 51%, respectively (Education Week). That Hispanics are doing so poorly is obviously of special concern to us
inasmuch as this is the racial category that describes 97% of the students at SFHS. While not as wide, the difference
between genders is also significant. For example, whereas only 48% of African American males graduate on time,
59% of their female counterparts do. Similarly, 49% of Latino males finish school in four years compared to 58% of
Latina females who do (NEA).
(8) With further regard to demographics, a student’s socioeconomic status seems important as well. As a
matter of fact, a student raised in the wealthiest 25% of American households is seven times as likely to graduate
from high school on time as one who comes from the poorest 25% (Alliance for Education). This is another
significant statistic for us given that 87% of SFHS students qualify for Title One benefits. Where a student is raised
seems to matter too. According to recent statistics, only 58% of teens in cities graduate on time compared to 75% of
those in the suburbs (NEA). Although it is located in the San Fernando Valley, SFHS likely has more in common
with urban schools than suburban ones. An especially troubling fact is that fully half of all high school dropouts in
the nation attend one of only 2000 schools (ibid). Perhaps appropriately, these institutions are popularly known as
“dropout factories” (ibid).
(9) All of these numbers take on real significance when one considers the impact that dropping out of high
school has on the individuals who choose to do so. One huge effect is a higher rate of unemployment. Whereas a
dropout currently faces a 14.9% chance of not having a job, someone who finishes high school has a much lower
chance of being out of work: 10.3% (BLS). If this person graduated from college, the likelihood of their being
without work is only 5.4%, or one-third that of a dropout (ibid). Even with a little bit of college, a person faces only
a 9.2% chance of not being employed (ibid).
(10) The difficulty of finding a job is a situation poignantly described by one of the many SFHS dropouts we
interviewed for this project. “Jesus” is in his late twenties and has yet to move out of his parents’ home. As he
explains,
It’s been tough since I dropped out. Twelve years later, and I’m still livin’ at home. I’ve had a few jobs that
I thought were gonna last, but none of them did. I lost the last one more than a year ago, and nobody’ll even
talk to me about a job these days. First thing they ask for is a high school diploma. I got two kids, and they
should be living with me and their moms in our own place – instead of with her family. Pretty soon, they’ll
be old enough to know what’s up, and they’ll ask me why we gotta be living apart. That’s gonna hurt, for
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English 9A: Exposition
sure. A man’s supposed to provide for his family, and I can’t even give mine a place to live. How they
gonna have respect for me when they figure that out? Hopefully, they’ll at least see what happens when you
don’t finish school like me.
(11) Even when they are able to find a job, high school dropouts earn considerably less than those who earn a
high school diploma. On average, the former will earn $444 per week while the latter will take home roughly two
hundred dollars more in that amount of time (BLS). Assuming that this difference persists throughout the dropout’s
working years, he or she will earn about $260,000.00 less than the high school graduate (Alliance for Education).
As one would expect, the difference in earning potential is much greater still between dropouts and those who earn a
bachelor’s degree, the latter taking home an average of $1058 per week. This difference is not at all insignificant
when one considers that over a 40-year period, it would equal $1,275,000.00.
(12) These disparities are obviously important when it comes to purchasing such essentials as a house and a
car. According to californiarealitycheck.com, a web site sponsored by the California Department of Education, one
would need to earn approximately $80,000.00 per year to maintain an average lifestyle in Los Angeles. This may
explain why nearly 40% of the homeless population consists of high school dropouts (Da Costa Nunez), whose
average gross annual wages total only $23,000.00. Compounding this problem is the fact that dropouts are half as
likely to find work that provides them with health care benefits (NCES). This is significant given that health care
costs the average American household approximately $15,000 a year (ibid), which is equal to two-thirds of the
average dropout’s annual income. Perhaps because they are unable to afford health care, high school dropouts are
“more likely to suffer from illness or disability and to die prematurely from cardiovascular disease, cancer, infection,
injury, and diabetes” than those with at least a high school diploma (NEA).
(13) Such circumstances may help explain why dropouts constitute such a disproportionate percentage of our
nation’s prison population. Currently, approximately 78% of all inmates either failed to graduate from high school
or earned an alternative diploma such as the GED (Heckman). Not only do the incarcerated pay a great price in
terms of the loss of their freedom, but society bears a huge expense in administering federal, state, and municipal
penal systems. According to one calculation, if the high school completion rate were increased by only 1% among
those aged 20 to 60, the United States would save $1.4 billion annually in such costs (NEA). One can truly get a
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English 9A: Exposition
sense of how much society spends on the criminal justice system when one considers that California spends
$50,000.00 to house and feed a prisoner for a year but only $8,000.00 annually to educate a K-12 student (Gollan).
(14) When lower tax payments and greater dependence on Welfare, Medicaid and Medicare are added to
these costs, the total effect on taxpayers is a burden of approximately $240,000.00 for each person who fails to earn
a high school diploma (NCES). To take but one category of high school dropouts, teenage mothers, if each had at
least graduated high school, the nation would save approximately $3.8 billion each year (NEA). Based on estimates
provided by the National Education Association, if each and every person who drops out in a single year had
graduated instead, the country would realize a savings of $46 billion in public health costs that wouldn’t have to be
paid. This number reflects the fact that dropouts enroll in programs like Medicaid at far greater rates than those who
earn a high school diploma. Whereas only eight percent of high school graduates (and only 1% of college graduates)
enroll in Medicaid, 25 percent of dropouts do so (ibid). Clearly, our taxes would be significantly lower if students
graduated and thus were able to better take care of themselves.
(15) Another economic consequence of there being so many Americans lacking a basic education is our
nation’s high unemployment rate. In spite of the fact that 13.9 million people are out of work in this country, the
number of jobs available in the manufacturing sector has increased from 98,000 in 2008 to 230,000 in 2011
(Bradford). The problem, employers say, is that companies can’t find suitable candidates to fill those positions
because of their lack of education and experience (ibid).
(16) Americans should also be concerned about the effects of the dropout problem on the health of our
political system. As Thomas Jefferson once wrote, “If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of
civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.” This statement reflects his well-known belief that an
informed electorate is essential to the survival of a democracy and his strong advocacy of a public education system
that is easily accessible to all. As he might well have predicted, today’s dropouts are much less likely to vote or to
involve themselves in civic activities. In the presidential election year of 2004, for example, Americans with a
college degree were three times as likely to vote as their fellow citizens who lacked a high school diploma (NEA).
(17) A final sobering statistic about the dropout problem that should instill anyone who reads it with a real
sense of urgency about doing something to address it is the fact that the children of those who fail to graduate from
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English 9A: Exposition
high school are more likely to drop out themselves. Unless we want this generation of dropouts to produce another
and that one produce yet another, we have to do a better job of making sure that our students earn their high school
diploma.
Why Carrots and Sticks Won’t Do the Trick (Summary and Analysis)
(18) One idea for dealing with the dropout problem that has gained some attention of late relies on financial
rewards and penalties. Chelsea High School in Boston is one institution that counts on the former to keep kids in
school. It deposits $25 in an account that can’t be accessed until graduation for each quarter that a student has
perfect attendance. A charter school in Illinois provides students with an even greater incentive: $50 each week for
each student who doesn’t miss any classes. This school is advised by Michael Grady, St. Louis University professor
of educational studies, who justifies the practice of paying kids on the grounds that “students can’t learn if they’re
not in class” (Miller). Proponents also point to studies such as one conducted by the University of Southern
California in the 1990s, which found that scores increase when kids are paid. When researchers there offered 8 th
graders $1 for every correct answer they got on a national math examination, they supposedly did 13% better (ibid).
Education reformers have also taken note of the success of students attending the Providence St. Mel School in West
Chicago who not only graduate on time but who go on to attend some of the nation’s most prestigious universities.
Their successes – and the fact that they were financially compensated for them – were documented in a film entitled
The Providence Effect.
(19) Unfortunately for proponents of this idea, there are a number of serious problems with it.
As suggested by Richard Ryan, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, paying kids to go to school
might actually make the attendance problem worse, as children with communicable illnesses will feel pressured to
attend class – and thus spread whatever ailment they have – when they should stay home until they feel better
(Miller). Another occasion when it is unreasonable to expect children to attend school would be when they have
experienced a death in the family or when there is an emergency involving one or more of its members. With further
regard to a child’s family, it’s been noted that unscrupulous parents may take advantage of the financial-rewards
approach to not only send their children to school when they should stay home – again, such as when they are ill –
but that they might keep the money that their children obtained for themselves (ibid).
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English 9A: Exposition
(20) Another problem with this idea is that there is no guarantee that students will take their education
seriously just because they’re in school. Indeed, it’s very possible – if not likely – that those who don’t want to be in
class will engage in disruptive behavior that will make it difficult for those who do want to learn to do so. Schools
that pay their students for merely showing up may thus compound the problem of students not being sufficiently
educated.
(21) Critics of what might be called the “cash-for-class” approach also contend that it undermines a central
mission of the public education system, which is to instill children with morals and values that most members of
society subscribe to. One such belief is that education is something that should be pursued throughout one’s life for
its own sake and for the sake of our democratic society, which benefits from having a well-educated electorate.
Paying kids to go to school would go against these important precepts in that it would discourage youth from
pursuing other worthwhile objectives unless they receive an immediate financial reward, and because it will weaken
their sense of obligation to contribute to the greater good. In essence, it amounts to a substitution of bribery for the
recognition of intrinsic rewards that benefit both themselves and others. One can only wonder how many students
will decide not to attend college because they’re not immediately compensated for doing so.
(22) Something else that American students should be taught is that, by virtue of their being provided with a
free education all the way through twelfth grade, they are much more fortunate than many millions – if not billions –
of young people in other parts of the world. If they were aware, for example, that girls in countries like Afghanistan
were until recently denied any education at all and that in many other countries only those children whose parents
can afford to pay have access to formal schooling beyond the elementary grades, they might be more appreciative of
the opportunity they have to better themselves through education here. Paying American kids to go to school would
certainly be viewed critically by those who are systematically denied an education in other countries. Negative
perceptions would also likely be generated within the United States if it were only the urban poor, who have the
highest dropout rates, who were compensated for going to school. As others have suggested, it might reinforce the
stereotype that poor communities don’t value education for its own sake (Miller).
(23) From a much more practical and local point of view, paying kids to go to school is something that
LAUSD, at least, most certainly cannot afford to do. If it were to adopt the Chelsea High School model and pay its
17
English 9A: Exposition
students $25 for each quarter of perfect attendance from 9th grade on, it could potentially need to come up with $11.5
million annually, assuming that all of the approximately 58,000 students that should be graduating each year never
missed any classes. Assuming an average teacher salary of $60,000, the district would have to eliminate nearly 200
teaching positions if it implemented this plan, which works out to about three per high school, where classes are
already notoriously overcrowded. For the 2011-12 school year, LAUSD already has a $408 million deficit and is
seriously considering shortening the school year by a week in order to stay within its budget. At such a time, it is
inconceivable that the district would seriously consider adding to its financial woes in this manner.
(24) In contrast to a system of financial rewards, some would-be reformers believe that our dropout problem
could be successfully addressed by fining the parents of students who are chronically truant, especially those who
ignore warnings or offers of services like counseling and tutoring. In nearby Orange Country, police arrested a
number of such parents last year and prosecutors there succeeded in convincing a judge to find them guilty of
contributing to the delinquency of a minor, for which they were fined $2500.00 and faced a possible one-year prison
sentence (Hardesty). Proponents of this approach contend that parents should be held responsible for the behavior of
their children, and that they should pay a stiff price if their children break the law. They further maintain that once
they see that the courts are serious about holding their parents accountable in this manner, students will attend school
more regularly inasmuch as they won’t want their parents to suffer on their account.
(25) While no one would deny that parents are responsible for teaching their children right from wrong, it is
naive to suggest that they can always control them. This is particularly true of parents who work long hours and who
thus have fewer opportunities to meaningfully interact with their children – or even to gain awareness that their
students are skipping school. It also ignores the unfortunate reality that some children would like nothing more than
to get their parents in trouble and may thus see this type of law enforcement as an opportunity they can take
advantage of to satisfy such desires. There is also the problem of what to do with the children of single parents who
would be left to fend for themselves if their parents were taken away. The penalty is too severe, moreover, given
that $2500.00 is more than 10% of the nation’s official poverty rate for a family of four. Finally, it goes against
fundamental legal principles to punish someone for the crimes committed by another. If one were to extend the logic
employed by proponents of this plan, parents could be punished for any crime committed by their children.
18
English 9A: Exposition
PSAs and Mentor Days (proposal)
(26) Given the many problems inherent in the financial-rewards-and-penalties approach, it’s clear that a
much different way of dealing with the dropout crisis must be found. While plans for dealing with the problem as it
exists nationally are certainly needed, this paper’s primary focus is on addressing the situation facing the
communities served by SFHS.
(27) Clearly, whatever idea one puts forward must address the fundamental reasons that students have for
making the decision to abandon their education. According to a number of educational experts, a student’s failure to
graduate from 9th grade with his or her peers is a major factor in his or her ultimate decision to drop out (National
High School Center). This was confirmed by Ms. Garcia, the Dropout Coordinator for the Los Angeles Unified
School District, who was interviewed by our class in December, 2011. A survey we conducted of nearly three
hundred students, teachers, and adults in the community suggested some reasons as to why this might be the case.
These include: a sense of hopelessness that students who are held back experience when they realize how much
make-up work is required to be promoted; a sense that graduating from high school won’t make that much difference
in determining whether a student will succeed or not; and the temptation – or perceived need – to work.
(28) A second oft-stated reason is a lack of parental support, which the American Psychological Association
regards as “one of the four prominent risk factors determining the likelihood of dropping out” (2011). This opinion
was also verified by Ms. Garcia when she visited with our class, and is further supported by the research we
conducted in our survey, wherein approximately 70% of respondents agreed that the failure of parents to involve
themselves in the educational experience of their children is a major problem in this community.
(29) An idea for dealing with the first cause would be for SFHS students to visit middle-school classrooms to
talk to students there about how serious the drop-out problem is at our school. This means that members of our class
would be visiting the campuses of Charles Maclay Middle School, San Fernando Middle School, and Pacoima
Middle School to share information we have gathered about how many SFHS students drop out and what the
negative consequences are of doing so. We would also discuss the reasons we’ve become familiar with for why so
many students here don’t make it, such as the fact that freshman are unaccustomed to not being socially promoted;
the likelihood that they’ll find their classes to be much more challenging; and the possibility that they won’t feel a
19
English 9A: Exposition
sense of belonging. We would follow this discussion up with advice about how these middle school students might
more successfully negotiate their way through the many challenges and temptations they’ll face in high school. This
would include mention of such things as after-school tutoring; clubs and organizations; the Project Grad and Impact
programs; our Teen Clinic; and college class offerings.
(30) In order to execute our plan, it will be necessary to obtain permission from the administrators at all of
the schools involved, as well as from the teachers whose classrooms will be impacted. This can be accomplished by
providing all of the parties concerned with a copy of our position paper, as well as an outline of what we intend to
discuss, along with a formal letter of request. The likelihood of succeeding in this endeavor is enhanced by the fact
that many of us are on good terms with some of the individuals whose permission we need. In addition, we will
need to prepare a PowerPoint presentation and a short video, as well as arrange for transportation.
(31) This proposal has a number of positive aspects to recommend it. First, its only cost is that of
transporting the presenters by school bus, which would be negligible. It is also a very simple plan to put into effect,
inasmuch as we’ve already thoroughly researched this topic and have composed a position paper on it. It is a logical
approach, moreover, since there is ample evidence supporting the idea that teens are more apt to take advice from
their peers than from adults. Indeed, peer mentoring, of which this is certainly an example, is touted in such
academic publications as The Journal of Primary Prevention (Dennison). Experts also support the idea of speaking
with at-risk students well before they begin attending high school (National High School Center). This proposal has
additional benefits not directly related to the drop-out problem as well. These would include providing middle
school teachers with a better idea of what sorts of things are required of high school students; satisfying servicelearning requirements for graduation; and enhancing the quality of our college- and employment applications.
(32) With respect to the lack of parental support, we propose to invite local radio and television station
owners and managers – as well as outdoor advertising companies – to broadcast public service announcements
urging parents in our community to get more involved in the education of their children, in general, and to do all
they can to ensure that their children graduate from high school, in particular. This will necessitate that we write
formal letters of request, as well as notify local newspapers of our intention so that they can help us pressure these
parties into helping us put our plan into action. Once we succeed in establishing a partnership, we hope to be
20
English 9A: Exposition
integrally involved in composing the scripts that will be used – and perhaps even taking part in their recording and
production.
(33) As bold as this approach may seem, its cost to all parties is minimal. Time is all that we will have to
donate, and station owners and advertisers can realize a substantial tax benefit. These parties will also have the
opportunity to satisfy the requirement that they engage in public service in exchange for being able to use public
airwaves. Another feature that makes this plan attractive is that it is more likely to succeed than current methods of
communicating with parents. Although SFHS has a Parent Center which regularly sponsors events intended to
facilitate communication with parents, their success in getting parents to participate has been very limited. Similar
events that have been sponsored by SFHS’s respective Small Learning Communities have also been largely
unsuccessful. The reason most often given for why parents don’t attend these events is that they are working or
commuting to or from work. If the message that we want to communicate to them is broadcast over the airwaves or
posted on local billboards, it’s highly likely that we’ll be successful in overcoming such obstacles.
Conclusion:
(34) As this essay has hopefully made plain, a viable approach to dealing with the high school dropout
problem – at least as it exists in the San Fernando/Pacoima community – would be to take advantage of existing
resources to have local broadcasters produce and send out public service announcements reminding parents of the
role they play in ensuring that the youth of this area take their education seriously. Coupled with this is the
recommendation that those SFHS students who are succeeding visit those who will soon embark upon their high
school careers and advise them about how to overcome the many challenges they are likely to face. While the idea
of paying kids to go to school or arresting the parents of those students who don’t may be well-intentioned, they are
unfeasible at the very least and would likely create more problems. Given how serious the problem of students
abandoning their education is – again, especially in this community – it is imperative that all of those who can do
something about it join with us to do so. No one is immune from the detrimental effects this problem poses;
therefore, no one should think they have no role to play in attempting to solve it.
21
English 9A: Exposition
Paragraph-by-Paragraph Summary of High School Dropout Paper
5F
Compare the numbered statements below with those you composed and mark yours as follows
+ your summary is essentially the
same
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
~ your summary is similar, but
there are some differences
-- your summary is very different
Introduction: Author suggests two approaches to deal with SFHS dropout problem.
Presents statistics of dropout rates around the world.
States that California has higher dropout rates than other states in the U.S.
Notes that the dropout problem is worse in LAUSD schools.
Presents on-time graduation rates specifically in SFHS.
Suggests actual dropout rate have become worse in the last 40 years than officially reported.
Describes the problem in terms of demographics (ethnicity).
Continues to describe the problem in terms of demographics (social economic status).
Explains the correlation between high school dropouts and a higher rate of unemployment.
Quotes the opinion of a SHFS dropout.
Suggests that high school dropouts earn significantly less than those who earn a high school
diploma.
Suggest that approximately $80,000 a year is needed to maintain an average life style in LA.
Notes that high school dropouts constitute a high percentage of our nation’s prison population.
States that most dropouts make use of public assistance, which is a burden to tax payers.
Explores reasons why employers cannot find suitable candidates making the unemployment rate
go higher.
Suggests that Americans should be concerned with the effect of the dropout problems on our
political system.
Suggests that to avoid generations of dropouts, we must ensure that our students earn a high
school diploma.
Paragraph articulates potential solution to pay students to attend class.
The difficulties with paying students to attend class: increase in illness transmission, Not taking
into account deaths in the family, and family emergencies.
Additional difficulties with paying for students, students will come but not be engaged and can be
disruptive.
Additional criticism for paying students to attend class is that it weakens morality and values that
students should value education for its own merits, lack of engagement in lifelong learning and
college because they won’t be paid for it immediately.
This paragraph encourages students to value their education, because students all over the world
either do not have access to, or have to pay for their education. Additionally it contributes to
negative perceptions around the world. As well as other Americans if only the poor students are
paid to attend class.
Illustrates another difficulty with paying students to attend class, and that is LAUSD’s budget and
the likelihood of having to lay off teachers in order to pay students. That combined with the
increase in class sizes makes it an unlikely solution.
A new solution is presented, fining the parents of chronically truant students. This would hold
parents legally accountable for the behavior of their children. It has been attempted in Orange
County.
This paragraph discusses the difficulties with fining parents. It does not take into consideration
22
English 9A: Exposition
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
parents that work long hours, the kids that want to punish their parents, and the unfairness of
punishing someone for the “crimes” of another.
Proposes that efforts to deal with dropout should focus on addressing the situation facing the
communities served by SFHS
Cites Ms. Garcia, dropout coordinator of LAUSD, to indicate the reasons why students dropout.
These include: a sense of hopelessness when student’s realize the amount of work necessary to
graduate; an understanding that high school will not do much for them; and the temptation to earn
money.
Presents another reason why students dropout and that is lack of parental support and the failure
of parents to involve themselves in their child’s educational experience.
Recommends visiting middle school campuses to educate students on the risks of dropping out
and advising them not to.
Details how the proposal is executed through administrative permission and parental involvement.
This outlines the positive aspects of the proposal such as mentoring, expert advice, and teacher
support for making students, college and career ready.
The plan proposes to use radio communication to increase parental involvement creating a
stronger partnership between schools and parents.
Aside from the challenge of time management, the plan is attractive because of low cost.
The conclusion restates advantages of the approach to dealing with the high school dropout
problem, highlights that it affects us all, and refutes unrealistic plans.
23
English 9A: Exposition
5G
Vocabulary Assessment: High School Dropout Paper
Please effectively use the seven strategies to determine synonyms for the following vocabulary words.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
31.
32.
33.
Decline
Prolonged
Ironically
Facilitate
Approximately
Respectively
Relative
Unenviable
Distinction
Critically
Demographics
Ethnicity
Minorities *
Inasmuch
Whereas
Socioeconomic
status
Poignantly
Alliance
Potential
Disparities
Consists
Prematurely
Constitute
Disproportionate
Alternative
Administering
Civilization
Electorate
Essential
Advocacy
Civic
Sobering
Instill
34.
35.
36.
37.
38.
39.
40.
41.
42.
43.
44.
45.
46.
47.
48.
49.
50.
51.
52.
53.
54.
55.
56.
57.
58.
59.
60.
61.
62.
63.
64.
65.
66.
Incentive
Justifies
On the grounds
Proponents
Conducted
Prestigious
Compensated
Communicable
Ailment
Unscrupulous
Compound
Morals
Subscribe
Precepts
Intrinsic
Virtue
Systematically
Reinforce
Implemented
Notoriously
Chronically
Prosecutors
Delinquency
Naïve
Perceived
Prominent
Unaccustomed
Aspects
Necessitate
Viable
Embark
Unfeasible
Immune
24
English 9A: Exposition
6A
Sample Anecdote and Body Paragraphs from Child Abuse Position Paper
Directions: identify at least one coherence device in each sentence following the anecdote that connects an idea in that
sentence with an idea(s) in either the sentence that precedes or follows it. Use the usual symbols to identify the type of
coherence device used and draw lines to indicate which main idea(s) they connect to.
She knows she should be studying for the final she has in biology tomorrow, working on the essay due Friday for
her English class, or working on her math problems. She really wants to go to college and knows that if she doesn’t get
her schoolwork done and her grades slip, her dream of a career in medicine might never be realized. But still she sits,
watching the blood ooze in neat lines that follow the razor blade she’s slowly pulled across the soft skin of her wrist. The
volume on her ipod is turned up high, and she’s vaguely aware that the female vocalist is singing about problems in her
relationship with guys – and she briefly thinks about how she suddenly ended her relationship with her boyfriend – but the
sound that really fills her head is that of her mother’s voice, repeated over and over; “it couldn’t have happened the way
you said it did. Not your uncle. He would never touch any of you girls. Stop imagining things and focus on your
studies.” She had always had a close relationship with her mother, but now things were different. She wonders, “if my
mom won’t believe me, who will? What’s the point ...?”
This brief depiction of a girl’s isolation is based on actual circumstances faced by a student at San Fernando High
School (SFHS). Unfortunately, it is not an isolated case. According to a survey of 255 students, teachers, and residents of
the San Fernando/Pacoima area, which our class conducted in August, 2005, child abuse in this community occurs with
alarming frequency. When asked if they personally knew of any minor who had been sexually, physically, or
psychologically abused, 55% of our respondents answered in the affirmative, and, in many cases, reported that they knew
of at least several individuals who had. An even higher number, 61%, agreed that child abuse is a serious problem in this
area; of these, 34% said that they strongly agree that it is. These troubling findings are supported by the information
supplied by our school nurse, who says that 50 – 60% of the cases she sees are related to child abuse. (Smith, 2005)
As bad as these numbers are, they may be even higher given that abused children are often reluctant or unable to
tell anyone about what happened to them.
25
English 9A: Exposition
Four Qualities of a Well Written Paragraph (The 4Qs)
6B
simple ideas that can greatly improve the clarity of your writing
1.
Unity: everything in paragraph clearly relates to main idea(s) in topic sentence
2.
Order: all ideas in paragraph are logically arranged (chronologically, spatially, from general to
specific, etc)
 Spatially: items are arranged according to their physical position or relationships. In
describing a shelf or desk, I might describe items on the left first, and then move gradually
toward the right.
3.
Completeness: all main ideas in topic sentence are discussed in the paragraph
4.
Coherence: all the ideas in a paragraph flow smoothly from one sentence to the next, as well as from
one paragraph to the next.
S
Coherence Devices: (just remember “SPORT”)
synonym: words with the same meaning
P
pronoun: a word that replaces a noun (desk = it)
O
old-new pattern: begin each sentence with a reference to what previous sentence was about
1. O …………………... N
2. O ………………….. N
3. O ……………………. N
R
repetition (of key words and phrases)
T
transition words and phrases: they tell readers about how what you’re going to write next is
related to what you’ve already written. For example: using such as before you give an example;
using to put it another way, … to clarify something you’ve just written
26
English 9A: Exposition
6C
Sample Paragraph with Coherence Problems
1
Self injury is the general term used to describe self-inflicted pain or injury on oneself. 2Most
commonly, this is the form of cutting or burning, but there are many other forms of self-injury. 3Self injury is
often linked to depression and is simply expressed. 4For many people, self injury or self mutilation is not a
widely recognized habit. 5This can make it extremely difficult to find the support and help that is so essential
for self injurers.
7B
Coherence Devices Revealed
I have a friend named Bill. He drives trucks for a living. While hauling cargo from state to state, he often stops
to take pictures. Many of his photos are of lakes and forests. An especially good one Bill took was of Crater
Lake in Wasatch National Park. It showed …
27
English 9A: Exposition
Editing with 4Qs in Mind
1. Example of a lack of UNITY
6D
With its seaside beaches, snowcapped mountains, and extensive forests, Oregon is an ideal place to live.
Its magnificent forests alone, covering more than 30 million acres, make it a natural paradise. The National
Park Service protects 17 million acres in national forests, but the rest is used for Oregon’s lumber industry.
Loggers “harvest” trees with chain saws and then send their “crop” to the mill on trucks. Many sawmills that
used to employ 100 or more people are now closed because of the decline in the lumber business. But loggers
are not like steelworkers. They don’t go on relief and wait for their factory to reopen. Self-reliant, eccentric,
and impatient, loggers simply move to other parts of the country to look for work.
Option 1: change topic sentence. With its seaside beaches, snowcapped mountains, and extensive
forests, Oregon is an ideal place to live, although residents employed in one of its outdoor industries are
increasing leaving the state.
Option 2: remove part of paragraph not clearly related to topic sentence. With its seaside beaches,
snowcapped mountains, and extensive forests, Oregon is an ideal place to live. Its magnificent forests alone,
covering more than 30 million acres, make it a natural paradise. The National Park Service protects 17 million
acres in national forests, but the rest is used for Oregon’s lumber industry. Add more positive information
about forests (beaches or mountains).
2. Example of a lack of COHERENCE
My favorite movie is Cinderella. It’s about a young girl who is mistreated by her stepmother. She
makes Cinderella do all the chores in the house. Her stepsisters take advantage of Cinderella as well.
Cinderella and her stepsisters all want to marry the Prince. In the end, he marries Cinderella and they live
happily ever after.
Problem: expectation after 4th sentence is that an explanation of how Cinderella’s stepsisters take
advantage of her would come next
3. Example of excellent UNITY, ORDER, COMPLETENESS, and COHERENCE
My favorite band is The Ramones. What I like so much about them is their originality. Back in the
early 1970s, music was mostly soft or all the same, but The Ramones exploded with a new type of music called
Punk. This punk music was raw, ruthless, and brutally honest. Songs such as “Now I Wanna Sniff Some
Glue”, “Beat on the Brat”, “53rd and 3rd”, “Chainsaw”, and “Blitzkrieg Bop” surprised the world with lyrics
about drug abuse, beating on rich kids, prostitution on the streets, serial killers, and gang warfare.
28
English 9A: Exposition
Directions
1. Identify each of the following Coherence devices using different colors:
Coherence Devices: (“SPORT”)
S
synonym
(yellow)
P
pronoun
(green)
O
old-new pattern (blue)
R
repetition of key words (orange)
T
transition words and phrases (pink)
2. Discuss within your groups and write why each is important in creating a fluid essay.
Gun Violence Paragraphs Glossary
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Tactic: strategy
Analogy: comparison
Inasmuch as: since; because (in as much as I didn’t get much sleep, I can’t concentrate today)
Crucial: critical; very important
Distinctions: differences
Respective: in parallel order (Sara and George like volleyball and basketball, respectively)
Respects: ways; areas; aspects
Presumption of innocence: assuming someone is not guilty of a crime unless proven otherwise
Detrimental: harmful
Permeability: if something is permeable, objects can pass through it
Perimeter: boundary; border
Proliferation: the spread of something from one area to another
Moreover: in addition
Obsolete: useless
Congregation: group of people
Idle: not doing anything
Potentially: possibly
Implement: put into practice
Unintentionally: accidentally
Horde: group of people
Bent on: wanting to
Render: provide or give (a service, help, etc.); cause to be or become; make
Counterproductive: does the opposite of what you want it to do
Exacerbate: to make something worse
29
English 9A: Exposition
Summary and Analysis Sample
One proposal for reducing the level of gun-related violence in schools is to
require that all students pass through a metal detector upon entering school grounds. The
reasoning behind this suggestion is that the same tactic has proven successful in nearly
eliminating gun violence in prisons and airports. Unfortunately, the comparison of public schools
to prisons and airports is a false analogy, inasmuch as it ignores some crucial distinctions
between their respective populations. First of all, although schools may resemble prisons in
certain respects, students are not convicted criminals and should not be treated as such. Because
they haven’t had to surrender their constitutional rights – as criminals do – they are entitled to a
presumption of innocence until or unless proven guilty. Requiring them to pass through a metal
detector every day turns this fundamental principle on its head since students are forced to prove
their innocence every day they come to school. It may further have detrimental psychological
effect. Research has shown that people take on the characteristics of social groups others tell
them they possess. In other words, it’s possible that good students may turn bad if they’re treated
as criminals.
Another problem with this proposal is that it doesn’t consider the permeability of a
school’s perimeter, particularly its fences. Installing metal detectors at the front gate won’t
prevent students from passing guns over, under, and even through a fence. The proliferation of
plastic guns, moreover, renders metal detectors somewhat obsolete. The recent shooting death at
a high school in South Central was accomplished with one such plastic weapon that had been
taken through a metal detector.
Finally, this proposal will result in the daily formation of large and slow-moving
congregations of idle students – a potentially dangerous situation in and of itself. Rather than
reducing the potential for violent activity, schools that implement this proposal may
unintentionally create a new and potentially more deadly environment. One need only consider
how inviting a target such a horde of students would be to a drive-by shooter or anyone bent on
committing mass murder. This proposal is not only counterproductive; therefore, it may actually
exacerbate the problem of school shootings.
30
English 9A: Exposition
7A
Transition Words and Phrases
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Illustration/
Example
Thus
For example
For instance
Namely
To illustrate
In other
words
In particular
Specifically
Such as
As an
illustration
In particular
Especially
To explain
To list
To enumerate
In detail
As a result
In fact
In conclusion
On the whole
Contrast
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On the contrary
Contrarily
Notwithstanding
Nevertheless
In spite of
In contrast
Yet
On one hand
On the other
hand
Rather
Nor
Conversely
At the same time
While
Otherwise
Whereas
Differing from
Less important
Even though
Still
Than
Unless
In place of
Addition
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






In addition to
Furthermore
Moreover
Besides
Than
Also
Another
Equally
important
Again
Further
As well as
Next
Likewise
Similarly
In fact
As a result
Consequently
In the same
way
Therefore
Too
Time






















After
Before
Then
Once
At first
At last
At length
Formerly
Most important
Later
Ordinarily
To begin with
Afterwards
Generally
In order to
Subsequently
Previously
In the
meantime
Immediately
Eventually
Concurrently
Simultaneously


























Similarity/
Comparison
Similarly
Likewise
In like fashion
In a like
manner
Analogous to
Equally
Another
In addition to
Moreover
Too
Further
Furthermore
In the same
fashion
In general
As if
As
Also
Again
Besides
Equally
important
For instance
As an example
As though
As much as
As well as
Inasmuch
Emphasis














Above all
Indeed
Truly
Of course
Certainly
Surely
In fact
In truth
Again
Besides
Also
Furthermore
In addition
Provided
that
 More
important
 Of less
importance
 Equally
important























Consequent/
Result
Consequently
Accordingly
Hence
Thus
Therefore
For this
reason
With the
result that
Since
Due to
As a result
In other words
Although
At any rate
At least
Granted that
While it may
be true
In spite of
Of course
Provided that
Unfortunately
Consequently
Fortunately
In any case
Summary

















Therefore
Finally
Consequently
Thus
In short
In conclusion
In brief
As a result
Accordingly
All in all
On the whole
In any event
In other
words
To sum up
Specifically
In fact
For instance
Suggestion
 For this
purpose
 To this end
 With this in
mind
 Therefore
31
English 9A: Exposition
8C
Sample Position Paper: Helping the Homeless
(1)
On a chilly February afternoon, an old man sits sleeping on the sidewalk outside a New
York hotel while the lunchtime crowd shuffles by. At the man’s foot is a sign which reads: “Won’t you
help me? I’m cold and homeless and lonely. God Bless You” (Chambers 11). Imagine, if you can, the
life this man leads. He probably spends his days alone on the street begging for handouts, and his nights
searching for shelter from the cold. He has no job, no friends, and nowhere to turn. Although most
Americans would like to believe that cases like this are rare, the National Coalition for the Homeless
estimates that as many as 3 million citizens of our country share this man’s lifestyle (Tucker 34). Who
are these people we call “the homeless,” and what are the reasons for their predicament?
(2)
According to Pastor Walker, the director of the Gospel Missions Shelter in Sioux City,
Iowa, most of the homeless are unemployed males, and from 40 to 60 percent have alcohol or drugrelated problems. Walker also points out, however, that the image of the “typical” homeless person is
changing. He says, for instance, that the average age of the homeless has dropped from fifty-five to thirty
in the last ten years (Walker interview). National studies also show that America’s homeless population
is changing. A recent study by the U.S. Conference of Mayors, for example, found that one third of the
homeless population consists of families with small children, and 22 percent of the homeless have full- or
part-time jobs (Matthews 57). Statistics seem to show that more and more of the homeless are entire
families who have simply become the victims of economic hardship.
(3)
Why are these people still on the streets, despite the billions of dollars that are spent on the
homeless each year? Some blame the national housing shortage, pointing out that there are not enough
homes to fill the country’s need for shelter (Marcuse 426). Further study of the problem, however,
suggests that government programs, which fall into several categories, are to blame. Some are handout
programs designed to provide food or clothing to all of the needy, not just the homeless. An example of
32
English 9A: Exposition
this type of program is the Temporary Emergency Food Assistance Program, created by the federal
government in 1991 to make surplus agricultural products available to those in need. Other programs,
such as the experimental voucher program and the rent-control system, are intended to provide housing
for low-income families that need shelter. Despite the good intentions behind these programs, however,
none of them have provided sufficient help for the homeless.
(4)
Why have these programs been ineffective in cutting down on homelessness? In some
cases, the answer is that the programs are not designed to fit the special needs of the homeless. It was
estimated in October of 1996, for instance, that 99 percent of the food supplied by the Temporary
Emergency Assistance Program had gone to those who were not homeless. The reason? As Anna
Kondratas of the Department of Agriculture says, “When you’re homeless, you don’t carry around a fivepound block of cheese”(qtd. in Whitman 34). Food programs like these are valuable only to those who
already have a place to store and prepare the food they are given. The homeless, therefore, are unable to
take full advantage of these programs.
(5)
Not all programs set up to make housing available to those with low incomes have been
effective, either. An example is the voucher system, a federal program created in 2003, which allows
low-income families to live wherever they can find housing, regardless of cost. The only requirement is
that families must pay at least 30 percent of their incomes in rent. Although this system has been
successful in finding shelter for some needy families, it is not a long term solution to homelessness. One
problem is that most families who use the voucher system pay a lower percent of their income for rent
than those who rent apartments on their own. Therefore, a family could “raise” its income simply by
becoming “homeless”(Coulson 16). The second problem with the program is that it needs a much greater
housing supply to be effective. Says Democratic Congressman Thomas Downey of Long Island, “The
33
English 9A: Exposition
voucher system would make sense if there were housing, but there is just not enough. It doesn’t in any
way address the problem” (qtd. in Hull 23).
(6)
The program that has had the worst results, however, is the rent-control system, which now
covers approximately 12 percent of America’s housing. Rent control is a program set up by local
governments to limit the amount of rent that a landlord can charge his tenants. It dates back to World War
II, when New York tenants became worried about rent increases following the war. In 1947, these tenants
persuaded politicians to extend the rent limits to permanent houseing. Since that time, nine states and
many major cities, such as Los Angeles and Washington, D.C., have adopted rent-control policies
(Fleetwood 19).
(7)
At first glance, it would appear that rent control should benefit the homeless, making sure
that low-rent housing is available. The problem is that most of this housing is rented by those in the
middle and upper class. Most of these tenants like living in these cheaper apartments and do not plan to
move. This results in a condition known as “housing gridlock,” in which no one moves out of the lowrent housing. Seymour Durst, a developer-philosopher from Manhattan, describes the situation this way:
“We’ve got plenty of low-income housing in New York. We’ve just got upper-income people living in
it” (qtd. in Tucker 43).
(8)
This situation has had a drastic effect on the poor of New York City. Unless they can find
a rent-controlled apartment, they are forced into housing at middle-to-upper-income prices. Some
estimate that this means these people are paying 20 to 100 percent more for housing than they would have
without the rent-control program. (“Then There’s Rent”) Those who can’t afford these higher rent
payments are often left without a place to live. Such abuses of the rent-control program are contributing
to the problem of homelessness rather than fixing it.
34
English 9A: Exposition
(9)
Throughout the nation, rent control has had effects similar to those in New York.
According to William Tucker, a writer who has done a great deal of research on the subject, rent control
adds to the number of homeless a city will have, regardless of location. For example, homelessness in
Santa Monica, California, is so common that the city is called “The Homeless Capital of the West Coast.”
The only thing that makes this city different from others in the same area is its extremely strict rentcontrol policy. Other cities in Tucker’s study that have rent-control programs also have a much higher
rate of homelessness than the national average. In fact, Tucker reports that where rent control is
practiced, homelessness is 250 percent greater than in cities without rent control (41).
(10)
Since these government programs have not solved the problem of homelessness, what
should be done instead? There is no single answer to this question, but the most promising solution
consists of three steps. First of all, the federal government must accept responsibility for providing
shelter for the homeless. During the Bush administration, the federal government attempted to shift this
burden to state and local governments by slashing federal funds for housing. Between the years of 2001
and 2007, Bush cut the housing budget from $30 billion to $7.3 billion, expecting local governments and
private contributions to make up the difference (Matthews 58). Unfortunately, Bush’s plan has not
worked as well as he expected. In New York City, for instance, only $500 million has been spent on the
homeless since the cutbacks, while the need has been estimated at $12.5 billion (Chambers 11).
(11)
The decrease in funds is only half the problem; there has also been a major drop in housing
production. Only 60,000 new housing units have been created in New York during the past three years,
compared to 265,000 between the years 2000 and 2003. Many other cities have experienced similar
cutbacks. In addition, some of the federal housing units built in the 1990’s will soon be free from the rent
restrictions placed on them at that time. The result will probably be a substantial raise in rent, which will
put much of the current low income housing out of the reach of the poor (Matthews 57-58). In order to
35
English 9A: Exposition
avoid the drastic effects that these low rent housing shortages could cause, more housing must be created
immediately. According to community groups, renewed federal support will be necessary to accomplish
this task (Hull 22).
(12)
A second step necessary for helping the homeless is making sure that the proper type of
housing is available. According to Peter Marcuse, a professor of urban planning at Columbia University,
shelter for the homeless falls into three categories. The first and simplest type is the soup kitchen, a
temporary emergency shelter that provides food and, sometimes, a place to sleep. Shelters of this type are
especially important in places where little food is available or weather conditions are unfavorable. The
second type of housing is the transitional shelter, which also provides housing only temporarily.
Transitional housing is unique, however, in that it provides job counseling and other social services,
which are intended to help the homeless rejoin society. The third type of shelter is permanent housing,
the type of shelter most likely to bring about an end to homelessness (426). Permanent shelter could be
provided by constructing low cost, prefabricated housing modules, or by renovating buildings that no one
presently lives in (Coulson 16). Unfortunately, most current housing programs rely on temporary soup
kitchens, as they are the least expensive to build and maintain. Although soup kitchens have an important
role to play, more transitional and permanent housing will be necessary for the homeless to fully readjust
to society.
(13)
The final step to ending homeless is forming an organization that will check to see that
shelter residents are satisfied with their facilities and surroundings. This function should be coupled with
psychiatric care for those who are not yet ready to rejoin society. Studies have shown that neglecting the
personal care of the homeless often makes all other efforts to help them useless. These people often
return to living on the streets unless they are offered some type of support group (Whitman 27). This
36
English 9A: Exposition
check-up work could be done either by a government agency or by one of the existing social groups. This
third step must be included in any plan intended to end homelessness.
(14)
When we talk about “ending” homelessness, however, we must remember that it is a
problem that will never be truly eliminated. There will always be those who refuse any help offered to
them, the ones who prize their “free” lifestyle above personal comfort. While we must respect the rights
of such people, we cannot use them as an excuse to do nothing about the homeless. Most people living on
the streets are there, not by choice, but because they have no alternative. It is these people that we must
try to help immediately, with the support of the federal government. If we begin now, we may be able to
make homelessness simply a matter of choice.
Works Cited
Chambers, Rick. “No Place to Lay Their Heads.” The Church Herald 16 Sept. 2008: 9-11.
Coulson, C. “The $137,000 Slum.” The New Republic 19 Jan. 2008: 15-16.
Fleetwood, Blake. “There’s Nothing Liberal about Rent Control.” The Washington Monthly
June 2006: 19-23.
Hull, Jennifer. “Building from the Bottom Up.” Time 9 Feb. 2007: 22-23.
Marcuse, Peter. “Why Are They Homeless?” The Nation 4 Apr. 2007: 426-29.
Matthews, Tom. “What Can Be Done?” Newsweek 21 Mar. 2008: 57-58.
“Then There’s Rent Control.” The New Republic 11 Apr. 2008: 22.
Tucker, William. “Where Do the Homeless Come From?” National Review 26 Sept. 2007: 32- 43.
Walker, Harry. Personal Interview. 20 Dec. 2008.
Whitman, David. “Hope for the Homeless.” U.S. News and World Report 29 Feb. 2008: 26-36.
37
English 9A: Exposition
8D
Identifying Rhetorical Methods of Development in “Helping the Homeless”
I. In the space below, identify the rhetorical method(s) of development used in each of the 14 paragraphs in this
essay, as well as the main point they seem to be supporting. (Your choices are limited to definition, exposition,
summary (of ideas the author disagrees with), analysis (reasons for her disagreement with these ideas), and
proposals.) For paragraph 14, you may simply write “conclusion” but you should also specify any rhetorical
objectives or strategies you can.
1. _____________________________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________________________
4. ____________________________________________________________________________________
5. ____________________________________________________________________________________
6. ____________________________________________________________________________________
7. ____________________________________________________________________________________
8. ____________________________________________________________________________________
9. ____________________________________________________________________________________
10. ____________________________________________________________________________________
11. ____________________________________________________________________________________
12. ____________________________________________________________________________________
13. ____________________________________________________________________________________
14. ____________________________________________________________________________________
II. What would you say is the writer’s overall rhetorical purpose?
III. How many proposals for dealing with the problem of homelessness does the author criticize?
IV. How many proposals does she make herself?
V. Why do you think she spends so little time describing the problem?
38
English 9A: Exposition
9A
Basic Principles of Outlining (adapted from Sealy Library, John Jay College of Criminal Justice)
An outline presents a picture of the main ideas and the subsidiary (supporting) ideas of any subject. Some
typical uses of outlining are: a class reading assignment, an essay, a term paper, a book review or a speech. For
any of these, an outline will show a basic overview and important details.
Below is the basic outline form. The main ideas take upper-case Roman numerals (I, V, X, etc.). Sub-points
under each main idea take capital letters and are indented. Sub-points under the capital letters, if any, take
Arabic numbers (1, 2, 3, etc.) and are further indented. Sub-points under the Arabic numbers, if any, take
lower-case letters. Sub-points under lower-case letters, if any, take lower-case Roman numerals (i, ii, iii, etc.).
I. MAIN IDEA
A. Subsidiary idea or supporting idea to I
B. Subsidiary idea or supporting idea to I
1. Subsidiary idea to B
2. Subsidiary idea to B
a) Subsidiary idea to 2
b) Subsidiary idea to 2
i. Subsidiary idea to b)
ii. Subsidiary idea to b)
II. MAIN IDEA
A. Subsidiary or supporting idea to II
B. Subsidiary idea to II
C. Subsidiary idea to II
III. MAIN IDEA
It is up to the person creating the outline to decide on how many main ideas and supporting ideas adequately
describe the subject. However, if there is a I in the outline, there has to be a II; if there is an A, there has to be a
B; if there is a 1, there has to be a 2, and so forth.
Process of Creating Outline
1. Generate research questions
2. Find raw data
3. Create categories for raw data (categorize)
4. Decide on an order
 general to specific
 chronological
 spatial
39
English 9A: Exposition
OUTLINING EXAMPLE
Suppose you are outlining a speech on AIDS, and these are some of the ideas you feel should be included: AZT,
Transmittal, AIDS babies, Teenagers, Safe sex, Epidemic numbers, Research.
To put these ideas into outline form, decide first on the main encompassing ideas. These might be: I.
Transmittal, II. Societal Consequences, III. Research.
Next, decide where the rest of the important ideas fit in. Are they part of AIDS transmittal or AIDS societal
consequences or AIDS research solutions? The complete outline might look like this:
Major Aspects of HIV/Aids
I. Transmittal of HIV/AIDS
A. Transfusions
B. Body fluids
1. Sexual
2. Non-sexual
II. Societal Consequences of HIV/AIDS
A. Epidemic disease pattern
Roman numerals are expressed by
letters of the alphabet:
I
II
V
VI
X
L
C
1
2
5
6
10
50
100
1. Teenagers
2. Women
3. Homosexuals
B. AIDS babies
C. Increased homophobia
D. Overburdened health care
III. Research Solutions to AIDS
A. AZT
B. HIV virus
C. Other viruses
It is only possible to make an outline if you have familiarity with the subject. Not only in the initial outline, but
during the course of the research, the writer may find it necessary to add, subtract or change the position of
various ideas. This is acceptable as long as the logical relationship among ideas is preserved.
40
English 9A: Exposition
9B
Outlining Exercise
Create an outline which lists each of the items below in a way that reflects the relationship between them. This
means that you’ll be rearranging the items and putting them into categories you create according to what they
have in common. These categories should be given a name and should be parallel in their levels of specificity.
You also need to come up with a title that reflects the overall relationship of everything on the list.
MAPS
SHOES
BUNK BED
FREEZER
DVD PLAYER
SILVERWARE DRAWER
LUG WRENCH
SOFA
BLANKET
ICE CUBES
RECLINER
SPARE TIRE
FORKS
TELEVISION
CLOSET
MILK
CAR REGISTRATION PAPERS
PILLOW
REFRIGERATOR
SHIRTS
BUTTER
ICE CREAM
SPOONS
An important part of outlining is creating parallel levels of specificity, which are indicated by indentations and
numeral/letter types and sizes
41
English 9A: Exposition
9D
Dropout Position Paper Outline
Thesis: teen suicide is a serious problem that is being addressed in the wrong way; prevention efforts should focus on gay
and lesbian youths.
I.
Exposition section
A. Evidence of the problem’s seriousness
1. Evidence of the problem’s seriousness
A.
B.
C.
2. The awful consequences of failed attempts
A.
B.
b. Demographic breakdown
1.
2.
3.
4.
C. Reasons why
1.
a.
b.
c.
2.
3.
II.
Summary & analysis section
A. Summary of the proposal to ban so-called “suicide rock”
1.
2.
B. criticisms of this approach
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
III.
Proposals section
a.
b.
1.
2.
3.
4.
c. Attractiveness of proposals
1.
2.
42
English 9A: Exposition
*Visit the Library*
10A
Primary and Secondary Sources (adapted from Princeton University Library)
What is a Primary Source?
A primary source is a document or physical object which was written or created during the time
under study. These sources were present during an experience or time period and offer an inside
view of a particular event. Some types of primary sources include:
ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS (excerpts or translations acceptable): Diaries, speeches,
manuscripts, letters, interviews, news film footage, autobiographies, official records
CREATIVE WORKS: Poetry, drama, novels, music, art
RELICS OR ARTIFACTS: Pottery, furniture, clothing, buildings
Examples of primary sources include:
Diary of Anne Frank - Experiences of a Jewish family during WWII
The Constitution of Canada - Canadian History
A journal article reporting NEW research or findings
Weavings and pottery - Native American history
Plato's Republic - Women in Ancient Greece
What is a Secondary Source?
A secondary source interprets and analyzes primary sources. These sources are one or more steps
removed from the event. Secondary sources may have pictures, quotes or graphics of primary
sources in them. Some types of secondary sources include:
PUBLICATIONS: Textbooks, magazine articles, histories, criticisms, commentaries,
encyclopedias
Examples of secondary sources include:
A journal/magazine article which interprets or reviews previous findings
A history textbook
A book about the effects of WWI
http://www.sanfernandohs.com/apps/pages/index.jsp?uREC_ID=229840&type=d
43
English 9A: Exposition
10C
Summarizing Do’s and Don’ts

Start with a FATt sentence

Use SPORT to show how the ideas you include are related

Use verbs that reflect the writer’s rhetorical purpose (for example, “claim”, “assert”,
“contend” in addition to “argue” if it’s an argument that you’re summarizing)

Verbs that refer to what the author says should be in the present tense

Don’t include your opinion on the topic of the piece you’re summarizing
o The only personal opinion you should include is a comment on how good the
writer’s argument is (if you’re also writing a summary)

Make sure to make it clear that each and every point of the author’s essay that you
include in your summary is clearly attributed (identified as belonging to) to the author so
that your reader doesn’t wonder whether you’ve included your opinion
o Use phrases like, “Smith argues that”, “according to the author”, etc (note how
carefully this is done in the sample summaries)

Use the author’s first and last name the first time you mention her; thereafter, use only
her last name

Avoid using “I” (unnecessary, especially since you’re not including your personal
opinion)
44
English 9A: Exposition
11A
C
HOW “FATt” IS YOUR TOPIC SENTENCE?
F =
A=
T =
t =
Focus
Author’s Name
Title
Text Type (news article, editorial, short story, novel, book, etc)
FATt TOPIC SENTENCES: SOME POSSIBILITIES
1. YOU CAN DO A TEXT REFERENCE FIRST (t)
In the editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills,” John Hurst reveals the trials and
tribulations of an adolescent in the troubled reformatory system in California.
In his editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills,” John Hurst explores the failures
of the juvenile system through the eyes of a young, disturbed girl.
John Hurst’s editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills,” explores the failures of
the juvenile system, through the eyes of a young, disturbed girl.
2. YOU CAN DO AN AUTHOR REFERENCE FIRST (A)
John Hurst described the trials and tribulations of an adolescent in the troubled reformatory system of
California in his editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills.”
John Hurst, the author of the editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills,” implies,
through a young girl’s experiences, that the strictness in the reformatories could be a reason why the
patients become suicidal.
3. YOU CAN DO A TITLE REFERENCE FIRST (T)
“When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills” is an editorial written by John Hurst that
conveys one girl’s story about how the harsh rules in a juvenile system result in suicide.
“When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills,” an editorial by John Hurst, reveals the cruel
disciplinary actions of the juvenile system that causes patients in a reformatory to become depressed and
suicidal.
4. YOU CAN DO A FOCUS FIRST (F)
Ridiculously strict rules cause young people retained in California reformatories to commit suicide,
suggests reporter John Hurst in his editorial entitled “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That
Kills.”
45
English 9A: Exposition
TITLE:
FOCUS:
AUTHOR:
TEXT TYPE:
Rhetorical Objective Words (Author’s Purpose):
Words









Analyzes
Assesses
Clarifies
Comments upon
Considers
Compares
Contrasts
Evaluates
Defines









Demonstrates
Describes
Discusses
Elaborates
Evaluates
Examines
Explains
Explores
Identifies








Illustrates
Interprets
Justifies
Outlines
Reviews
Shows
States
Summarizes
A FATT topic sentence:
46
English 9A: Exposition
10B
English 9A: Paying Kids to Go to School
by Sara B. Miller, The Christian Science Monitor / July 29, 2005
1
When students return to Chelsea High School next month, they'll get more than an impeccable attendance record if they
make it to class each day: They'll get cash.
2
Under a new plan, a student who misses not a single day per quarter will receive $25 in an account - redeemable upon
graduation. In doing so, the school joins a number of districts throughout the country turning to incentives to boost test
scores, GPAs, and student turnout.
3
Some schools, like Chelsea High, are focused solely on attendance. Officials there maintain that they can't carry out their
mission if a student is not in class absorbing the material. Others are doling out gift certificates, coupons, and checks if
students earn straight A's or land on the honor roll.
4
Supporters say such reward systems make good sense. Humans, they say, respond to enticements. A student is no
different from a football player working to clinch a championship or a budding broker putting in extra hours for a yearend bonus.
5
But critics call it bribery and say a capitalist mind-set is invading an institution built around the notion that knowledge
itself is the quest. What's more, not all kids can control their attendance, or their achievement, and rewarding only a select
few could further undermine the efforts of the rest, they say.
6
The move is driven in large part by the new emphasis on accountability: Under the No Child Left Behind Act and various
state laws also focused on results, increased scrutiny has put pressure on schools to perform.
7
"American education [today] is far more interested in specific outcomes," says Justin Torres, research director at the
Fordham Foundation in Washington. "There are all kinds of outside pressures on schools, and one way they have
responded is offering cash bonuses."
8
The job of enticing students to learn - and thus helping schools perform - was not always so challenging, says Morrie
Seigal, the Chelsea School Committee member who masterminded the plan.
9
Mr. Seigal grew up in Chelsea, a diverse community outside Boston. As a student, he went to school for the education
itself. "There is something about paying kids to come to school that is not appealing to me," he says. "It's sad. Kids should
want to come to school and succeed on their own. This is their whole life, what they learn in school. That should be
incentive enough."
10
Yet as a Chelsea teacher and administrator for 37 years, he says things have changed. Part of that may be the stresses on
modern families, he contends. Others cite the decreasing value of a high school education: Thirty years ago, a high school
diploma would land a good manufacturing job. That's not necessarily the case now.
11
So anything helps, even if that means pushing aside one's philosophy, says Seigal: "I feel we have an obligation to do
everything possible to get our kids to come and stay in school."
12
Experts are unable to point to a definitive body of work proving that such incentives actually rouse a significant amount
of students out of bed. One study from the University of Southern California in the mid-1990s reportedly found that
eighth-graders performed 13 percent higher on a national math exam when they were offered $1 for every correct answer.
47
English 9A: Exposition
13
For Michael Grady, a professor of educational studies at St. Louis University, anecdotal evidence is enough to convince
him that financial incentives can work. Money will not solve all truancy, of course, but he says a $50 check per week for
students with perfect attendance has made a difference at an Illinois charter school. He is a consultant to the school, which
is made up of students kicked out of other places. [Editor's note: The original version misidentified the location of the
charter school.
14
In some cases, though, it has backfired. Dr. Grady says that students have used the money to buy drugs, and some have
been beaten by parents - dependent on the cash - for skipping school. But "hard-core kids showed up at school to do some
work," he says. "Fifty dollars is a heck of a lot of money for a lot of these kids. It does make a difference in their lives."
15
Many experts do not see the issue in black or white. Mr. Torres says he would find fault with wealthier communities
handing out cash to students for merely showing up. But at the KIPP schools, a charter program in low-income
communities across the country, he says a variety of incentives have given students the chance to take field trips to
Washington or join after-school clubs.
16
"I think that is the key," he says, "incentives that can also be tied back to the educational mission."
17
Garrett Duncan, an associate professor of education at Washington University in St. Louis, says many incentive
programs are launched in poor rural and urban communities, and could have unintended consequences. They reinforce
"the stereotypes that certain communities do not value education like others; that the value is in the dollar sign," he says.
18
At Chelsea High School, where attendance levels hover around 90 percent, officials say that making graduation a
requirement to collect the money makes it an academic endeavor - even if the money can be used however students wish.
19
Gerald McCue, executive director for administration and finance for Chelsea Public Schools, says the school needed to
overhaul its attendance system, which he says was in some cases punitive and counterproductive: Students failed courses
for five or more unexcused absences, and those students with five absences often had no motivation to attend the rest of
the course.
20
But financial incentives can be counterproductive, too, says Richard Ryan, a professor of psychology at the University
of Rochester in New York. Aside from unwanted public-health consequences - sick children showing up at school - once
a day is missed and a record tainted, the incentive is no longer relevant.
21
"Kids have been going to school for centuries without needing to be paid for it," Professor Ryan notes.
22
While some my balk at the idea of paying cash to teenagers - especially when skipping school is technically a punishable
offense - Seigal maintains that it is really no different from offering a scholarship to the most diligent students. And unlike
the permanence of an attendance record, the program is not inflexible, says Mr. McCue. "If it works and improves
attendance, terrific," he says. "If not, we terminate it and come up with something else."
48
English 9A: Exposition
11D
C
Outline of “Paying Kids to Go to School”
I. FATt Sentence
Focus: report on an idea for motivating kids to take their education more seriously that involves
financial incentives, together with opinions for and against
Author:
Title:
Type:
II. Supporters
A. Who’s in favor?/What, specifically, are they in favor of?
a. Chelsea High School (Boston) Administration
i. $25 per quarter for perfect attendance
b. Illinois Charter School
i. $50 per week for perfect attendance
c. Christian Science Monitor? (hint of bias?)
i. $1 per correct answer
B. Reasons Why
a. Chelsea High School
i. Logic: “students can’t learn if they’re not in class”
b. Illinois Charter School
i. Expert Opinion: Michael Grady, St. Louis University Ed’n Professor
c. Christian Science Monitor (hint of bias?)
i. USC study
III. Opponents
A. Who’s opposed?/Why are they opposed?
a. Unidentified critic: this is bribery
b. Grady (see above): concedes that some kids use money to buy drugs/that
c. Garrett Duncan, an associate professor of education at Washington University in St. Louis:
reinforces “the stereotypes that certain communities do not value education like others,”
d. Richard Ryan, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester in New York. Paying
kids has never been necessary before – why start now?
Morrie Seigal, Chelsea School Committee member who masterminded the plan: kids should want to come to
school because they know it’s important
49
English 9A: Exposition
Sample Summary of “Paying Kids to Go to School”
12A
C
(highlighted to indicate words and phrases used to establish coherence, as well as verbs in the present
tense that reflect author’s rhetorical purpose)
In an article appearing in The Christian Science Monitor (CSM) entitled “Paying Kids to Go to
School,” various aspects of an approach designed to encourage school-age children to attend class and to
take their education seriously are described and critiqued. The paper reports on a school in Boston,
Chelsea High, which rewards a student’s perfect attendance by giving him or her $25 per quarter. It also
describes a charter school in Illinois, which gives its students $50 per week for not missing any class. At
the former school, the money isn’t available until a student’s graduation day, whereas, at the latter one,
students can get their money at the end of the week, quarter, or year. CSM reports that these schools
decided to take this approach based on the advice they received from educational studies. In the case of
the Illinois school, CSM states that they were advised by Michael Grady, a St. Louis University education
professor. As for the Boston school, its administrator reportedly reasoned that “students can’t learn if
they’re not in class.” In addition to this support for the idea, CSM cites a 1990s study at The University
of Southern California, which found that 8th graders did 13% better on a national exam when they were
offered $1 for every correct answer. In contrast to these individuals who support this idea are a
number of people identified by CSM who don’t. One critic is quoted as arguing that paying kids to go
to school is tantamount to bribery, and that doing so will ultimately result in kids not doing anything
unless they are paid. Another concern mentioned in the article is that teenagers will use this money to
buy drugs. Moreover, a professor of education is quoted as saying that paying kids to go to school
reinforces “the stereotypes that certain communities do not value education like others,” while CSM
cites a professor of psychiatry who pointed out that kids have been going to school for centuries without
getting paid to do so. Even the author of the Chelsea High School plan is reported as saying that “kids
should want to come to school on their own” and that it’s “sad” that they do not.
50
English 9A: Exposition
Student IDs That Track the Students
By Maurice Chammah and Nick Swartsell for The Texas Tribune,
Published: October 6, 2012
12B
C
Giving students radio frequency tags means more state money, but some critics are raising privacy issues.
SAN ANTONIO — For Tira Starr, an eighth grader at Anson Jones Middle School, the plastic nametag
hanging around her neck that she has decorated with a smiley face and a purple bat sticker offers a way to
reflect her personal flair. For administrators, it is something else entirely: a device that lets them use radio
frequency technology — with scanners tucked behind walls and ceilings — to track her whereabouts.
Anson Jones is the first school in San Antonio’s Northside Independent School District to roll out the new
nametags, which are part of a pilot program intended to ensure that the district receives all of the state dollars
to which it is entitled.
In Texas, school finance is a numbers game: schools receive money based on the number of students counted
in their homeroom classes each morning. At Anson Jones, as at other schools, many students were in school
but not in homeroom, so they were not counted and the district lost money, said Pascual Gonzalez, a
spokesman for the district.
“We were leaving money on the table,” he said, adding that the district expects a $2 million return on an
initial investment of $261,000 in the technology at two pilot schools.
But the radio frequency identification nametags have prompted concerns from civil liberties groups and
electronic privacy watchdogs, which fear a Big Brother atmosphere in Texas public schools.
Matthew Simpson, a policy strategist for the American Civil Liberties Union of Texas, said the technology
was easy to acquire, meaning people outside a school might be able to monitor a student if they obtained the
student’s unique tracking number.
Mr. Simpson said the technology was originally designed for shipping goods and for cattle. “It was never
intended for people,” he said.
But students and educators at Anson Jones say they are excited about the practical advantages — getting to
eat lunch faster by scanning their bar codes in the lunch line, or being able to locate a child quickly in an
emergency.
Northside is not the first district to use the tracking devices. Two Houston-area districts began the program
several years ago. The Spring district, for example, started using the technology in 2004 as a way to track
elementary students getting on and off buses. It expanded the program to high school students three years
ago and has so far recovered $400,000, said Karen Garrison, a spokeswoman for the district.
“Our system still focuses on safety but has the added benefit of recovering average daily attendance
funding,” Ms. Garrison said.
Wendy Reyes, the principal of Anson Jones, said only one parent had complained about the program at her
school. On the first day of classes at Jay High School, home to the other pilot program school in Northside,
several parents staged a protest across the street from the school, though most did not have students in the
district.
Many students, teachers and parents at the middle school feel the technology’s benefits outweigh privacy
concerns, Ms. Reyes said.
51
English 9A: Exposition
Madelene Garra was among those praising the program. “It gives the kids a little bit more responsibility,
knowing that we as a faculty are keeping up with them,” she said “Once they get out there in the real world,
they’re going to have to be on the job on time, and they’re going to have to be accountable.”
Sample Outline of “Student IDs that Track the Students”
12C
I.
FATt Sentence
Focus: Students wear plastic nametags fit with radio frequency devices that allow
schools to keep track of their whereabouts
Author:
Title:
Type:
II.
Arguments in favor of this approach
A. San Antonio’s Northside Independent School District receives money from
the state based on number of students that are in homeroom classes each day
(Pascual Gonzalez, District spokesman)
1. Anson Jones Middle School should recover $2 million in one year
2. another pilot school using the IDs has recovered $400,000 in 3 years
B. Other Benefits of IDs (teachers/students/administrators who use IDs)
1. expedited lunch lines
2. quick location of students in case of emergency
3. monitoring elementary school students getting on and off buses
4. good practice for future job
a. holds students accountable for being on time to class
III.
Arguments against this approach
A. technology is easy to acquire so people outside the school may be able to
track students by getting a hold of their ID number (Matthew Simpson, ACLU
of Texas)
B. this technology was originally intended to keep track of shipping goods and
cattle, not people (Simpson)
C. Some parents also protested across street from school using IDs
52
English 9A: Exposition
12D
Sample Summary of “Student IDs that Track the Students”
(highlighted to indicate words and phrases used to establish coherence, as well as verbs in the present
tense that reflect author’s rhetorical purpose)
In an article appearing in The Texas Tribune entitled “Student IDs that Track the Students,”
Maurice Chammah and Nick Swartsell describe an approach being used at two pilot schools in Texas
designed to encourage school-age children to attend class and summarize the opinions of both supporters
and critics of the plan. Their report focuses on Anson Jones Middle School in San Antonio’s Northside
Independent School District, which requires students to wear a plastic nametag fitted with radio frequency
technology that allows scanners in the walls and ceilings of the school to track their whereabouts. One
supporter of the plan they cite is Pascual Gonzalez, a spokesman for the District, who explains that the
district receives money from the state based on the number of students that are in their homeroom classes
each day. He argues that this plan would ensure that the district receives all of the state money to which
it is entitled: a number he expects to reach approximately $2 million as a result of this technology. Other
benefits of these tags noted by students and teachers at Anson Jones and two other districts which have
adopted this technology are expedited lunch lines, quick location of students in case of emergency, and
effective monitoring of elementary school students getting on and off of buses. In the Spring District,
which is also using this approach, a high school has recovered $400,000 in 3 years according to the
authors. Another supporter is quoted as claiming that this technology forces kids to be on time to
classes, which he says is good practice for when they enter the job market in the future. However, the
authors point out that, despite these seemingly positive outcomes, there are also many critics of this
approach. They cite Matthew Simpson, for example, a policy strategist for the ACLU of Texas, who
contends that because the technology is so easy to acquire, people outside of the school may be able to
track students by getting a hold of their ID number. He also finds the use of this technology on students
to be inappropriate as he claims that it was originally intended to keep track of shipping goods and cattle.
The authors also mention that there were also several parents who protested across the street from
another pilot school that had adopted the IDs on the first day of class.
53
English 9A: Exposition
By Paul Thompson
Startling Finds on Teenage Brains
The Sacramento Bee,
15A
C
Friday, May 25, 2001
(1) Emotions ran high at the trial of Nathaniel Brazill in West Palm Beach, Fla., two weeks ago. Friends
of slain teacher Barry Grunow called the death penalty, while a growing crowd of demonstrators outside
the courthouse wielded hastily written placards reading, "A child is not a man." Jurors returned with their
verdict May 16: Fourteen-year-old Brazill, charged in last May's shooting of middle-school teacher
Grunow, was found guilty of second-degree murder.
(2) A Florida grand jury had previously ruled that Brazill, who frequently looked dazed during the trial,
would be tried as an adult, and if he had been convicted of first-degree murder he would have faced life in
prison without parole. But Brazill's immaturity was evident throughout this incident—from the act itself
of Brazill's shooting a teacher he considered one of his favorites, to his subsequent inability to give a
reason for doing so, to the various quizzical looks that came across his face as the verdicts were read.
(3) In terms of cognitive development, as research on the human brain has shown Brazill— and any other
young teen—is far from adulthood.
(4) Over the last several years, as school shootings have seemed to occur with disturbing frequency,
startling discoveries have emerged about the teenage brain. The White House held a televised conference
on adolescent development in May of last year, and a flurry of papers on the teen brain has appeared in
top science journals. Reporters and teen advocates ask: Do the studies help explain the impulsive, erratic
behavior of teens? The biggest surprise in recent teen-brain research is the finding that a massive loss of
brain tissue occurs in the teen years.
(5) Specifically, my own research group at the University of California, Los Angeles, and our colleagues
at the National Institutes of Health has developed technology to map the patterns of brain growth in
individual children and teenagers. With repeated brain scans of kids from 3 to 20, we pieced together
"movies" showing how brains grow and change.
(6) Some changes make perfect sense: Language systems grow furiously until age 12 and then stop,
coinciding with the time when children learn foreign languages fastest. Mathematical brain systems grow
little until puberty, corresponding with the observation that kids have difficulty with abstract concepts
before then. Basically, the brain is like a puzzle, and growth is fastest in the exact parts the kids need to
learn skills at different times. So far, all well and good.
(7) But what really caught our eye was a massive loss of brain tissue that occurs in the teenage years. The
loss was like a wildfire, and you could see it in every teenager. Gray matter, which brain researchers
believe supports all our thinking and emotions, is purged at a rate of 1 percent to 2 percent a year during
this period. Stranger still, brain cells and connections are only being lost in the areas controlling impulses,
risk-taking and self-control. These front al lobes, which inhibit our violent passions, rash actions, and
regulate our emotions, are vastly immature throughout the teenage years.
(8) The implications are tantalizing. Brazill was only 13 when he committed his crime. He said he made a
"stupid mistake," but prosecutors argued that by bringing a gun to school he planned the crime.
(9) Does "planning" mean the same thing for a 13-year -old, with his diminished capacity for controlling
erratic behavior, as it means for an adult? The verdict, in this case, seems to line up with the research. The
54
English 9A: Exposition
jurors, by returning a verdict of second-degree murder instead of first, indicated that they believe Brazil’s
actions, while not accidental, were not fully thought-out, either.
(10) Linking this maelstrom of normal brain change with legal or moral accountability is tough: Even
though normal teens are experiencing a wildfire of tissue loss in their brains that does not remove their
accountability. What is clear from the research is that the parts of the frontal lobes that inhibit reckless
actions restructure themselves with startling speed in the teen years. Given this delicate—and drastic—
reshaping of the brain, teens need all the help they can get to steer their development onto the right path.
(11) While research on brain-tissue loss can help us to understand teens better, it cannot be used to
excuse their violent or homicidal behavior. But it can be used as evidence that teenagers are not yet
adults, and the legal system shouldn't treat them as such.
Paul Thompson is an assistant professor of neurology at the University of California, Los Angeles, School
of Medicine.
55
English 9A: Exposition
Writing a Summary: Converting a List of Main Ideas into an Outline
“STARTLING FINDS”
MAIN IDEAS
1. Author’s apparent purpose is to persuade readers that juveniles should not be tried as adults in court.
He bases this opinion on scientific research that proves that in terms of cognitive development,
juveniles are far from adulthood.
2. He cites Florida case of Nathaniel Brazill who was charged and tried as an adult in May 2001 for
killing his teacher. If he had been convicted of first degree murder, he would have faced life in prison
without parole. However, jury returned a verdict of 2nd degree murder.
3. This example is intended to appeal to reader’s emotions and suggest that even the jury recognized
Brazill’s lack of maturity, and subsequent lack of complete responsibility for the crime, by granting
him leniency in their verdict.
4. He gives credibility to the pursuit of adolescent development research by pointing out that the White
House had a televised conference on the topic and that papers on the teen brain have appeared in top
science journals. He fails to present names of journals, findings of conference/journals
5. From this research, he cites the major finding that a massive loss of brain tissue occurs during the teen
years.
6. He cites his own research group at UCLA who collaborated with National Institutes of Health
(seemingly credible sources) to map patterns of brain growth. They repeatedly scanned the brains of
kids from 3-20.
7. The research finds: 1) language systems grow furiously until age 12 and then stop. This coincides
with time children learn foreign languages the fastest; 2) Mathematical brain systems grow little until
puberty, corresponding with the observation that kids have difficulty with abstract concepts before
then. Stereotype – observation that teens have difficulty with abstract concepts?
8. Research also found that a massive loss of brain tissue occurs in the teen years in every teenager.
Gray matter, which controls our thinking and our emotions, is purged at a rate of 1-2% a year during
this period. Brain cells are only being lost in areas controlling impulses, risk-taking, and self-control.
The frontal lobes, which inhibit our violent passions, rash actions, and regulate our emotions, are
vastly immature throughout these years.
9. He points out that research also shows that these frontal lobes also restructure themselves with
startling speed in the teen years, so linking this brain loss to their accountability is tricky. He does not
provide an answer to the question of at what age this restructuring takes place.
10. He admits that research on teen brain tissue loss cannot excuse their violent or homicidal behavior,
but it can be used as evidence that they are not adults and should not be treated as such in court.
Given this delicate and drastic restructuring of the brain, they need help steering their development
onto the right path.
56
English 9A: Exposition
“STARTLING FINDS” OUTLINE: (SUMMARY of an ARGUMENT)
Thesis: (students, convert thesis into a FATt sentence)
According to recent teen-brain research, a massive loss of brain tissue occurs in the teen years.
As a result, in terms of cognitive development, teens are not equal to adults and so should not be
treated as adults in the justice system.
IV.
Emotional Appeal - Nathaniel Brazill, 14 (Real-life example)
A. Charged as an adult for killing his teacher; faced life in prison w/o parole if
convicted of first-degree murder
1. Dazed during trial; could not give reason for crime; quizzical looks
2. Jury found him guilty of second-degree murder
V.
Logical Appeal - Thompson’s research group at UCLA / National Institutes of Health
(Case Study)
C. Scanned brains of kids ages 3-20
1. Found language systems grow quickly until age 12 and then stop
a. Time when children learn foreign languages fastest
2. Mathematical brain systems grow little until puberty
a. Time when kids have difficulty with abstract concepts
D. Massive loss of brain tissue occurs in teen years in every teenager
1. Gray matter that supports thinking and emotions is purged at a rate of 1-2% a
year during this period
2. Brain cells and connections are lost in areas controlling impulses, risk-taking,
and self-control
3. Frontal lobes, which inhibit violent passions, rash actions, and regulate
emotions, vastly immature
E. Experts acknowledging research findings
1. White House – televised conference
2. Top science journals
VI.
Ethical Appeal - Nathaniel Brazill
A. Only 13 at time of crime, but prosecutors argued he planned crime by bringing
gun to school
1. Research shows planning does not mean the same thing for adults and teens
2. Jury’s verdict further evidence that his actions not fully thought-out
B. Brain tissue loss does not remove their accountability
C. Part of frontal lobes that are lost during this time also restructure themselves
quickly in teen years
1. This drastic restructuring of the brain means teens need help to steer their
development in right direction
D. Findings of brain research cannot be used to excuse their violent or homicidal
behavior, but is evidence they are not adults and should not be treated as such by
the legal system
57
English 9A: Exposition
Sample Summary of “Startling Finds on Teenage Brains”
(highlighted to indicate words and phrases used to establish coherence,
as well as verbs in the present tense that reflect author’s rhetorical purpose)
17A
In an article appearing in The Sacrament Bee entitled “Startling Finds on Teenage
Brains,” Paul Thompson, assistant professor of neurology at UCLA’s School of Medicine,
summarizes the results of his research on the teenage brain, which he claims reveals significant
differences between teenagers and adults in terms of their decision-making capability. The
significance of this finding, in his opinion, is that teens should not be tried as adults in court.
He appears to have been motivated to write this article by the real-life case of Nathaniel
Brazill, who at the age of 14, was tried as an adult on a charge of first-degree murder in the death
of his middle school English teacher and faced a life sentence without the possibility of parole.
Throughout the trial, according to Thompson, Brazill’s immaturity was often on display. In
arguing that Brazill should not have been tried as an adult, Thompson summarizes the results of
his research done in collaboration with the National Institutes of Health, which seem to give a
biological reason for Brazill’s immaturity. In scanning the brains of a group of 3-20-year-olds,
Thompson found that a massive loss of brain tissue occurs during the teen years in areas
controlling impulses, risk-taking, and self-control. In Thompson’s opinion, these findings prove
that “planning” – especially when it comes to crime - does not mean the same thing for adults as
it does for teens. He therefore contends that charging Brazill with first-degree murder, for
which premeditation of the crime is required, was not appropriate. He strengthens this claim by
pointing out that the jury’s ultimately convicted Brazill of second-degree murder. Thompson is
careful to state that neither his findings nor his opinion should be used to excuse juvenile
delinquency. Rather, he believes they mean that teens should be given more help in navigating
this dynamic period of their lives.
58
English 9A: Exposition
Research Questions for Exposition Section on Dropout Problem
1. Use colors (crayons, markers) or abbreviations to organize these questions by grouping them
together in terms of what they have in common.
Blue: D/G = demographics - gender
Pink: D/P = demographics – parental background
Red: D/R = demographics – race
Yellow: D/S = socioeconomic status
Orange: #L = number of dropouts in a given location
Green: E = issues related to economics
Brown: I = issues related to illiteracy
Purple: P = issues related to our political system
Black: #T = drop-out rate over time
2. As you read these questions over, begin the process of re-ordering them to create a working
outline by putting related questions together in categories which you create and name.
59
English 9A: Exposition
what percentage of high school
dropouts are innumerate (don’t
know basic math)?
how many high school kids in the US
drop out every year?
how much more money does a high
school graduate make than a high
school dropout?
how much money does a person
need in Los Angeles to live
comfortably
what percentage of high school
dropouts are typically unemployed?
how many high school students drop
out in other countries?
what percentage of high school
dropouts are non-Hispanic whites?
how many high school students in
California drop out every year?
how much money does a college
graduate make in a year?
what percentage of high school
dropouts end up in jail?
what percentage of high school
dropouts are African American?
what percentage of SFHS students drop
out every year?
how does today’s dropout rate
compare with the rate 5 or 10 years
ago?
how much does it cost to build and
maintain a skate park?
are children of dropouts more or less
likely to be dropouts themselves?
what percentage of high school
dropouts are considered functionally
illiterate?
what percentage of high school
dropouts are Latino?
how does the dropout problem affect
the nation’s economy?
what percentage of high school
dropouts are male/female?
how much does it cost to house a
prisoner for a year?
how do other states compare to
California in their drop-out rates?
what percentage of LAUSD students
drop out?
how much do SFHS athletes have to
spend to buy uniforms and
equipment?
what percentage of high school
dropouts come from poor families?
how much does it cost to provide
welfare to the unemployed?
how does SFHS’s drop-out rate
compare with other LAUSD schools?
How is the US affected politically by a
high school drop-out rate?
what percentage of high school
dropouts are Native American?
how well does our nation’s economy do
compared to countries with low high
school drop-out rates?
how much tax does the average
American pay?
how much is our nation’s
unemployment rate affected by the
number of high school ?
on average, how well educated are
the parents of high school dropouts?
how much does it cost to sponsor a
concert?
how do drop-out rates in urban,
suburban, and rural areas compare?
what percentage of high school
dropouts are considered functionally
illiterate?
what percentage of high school
dropouts are Asian?
how much does it cost the school to
send a class on a field trip?
How does the drop-out rate in LAUSD
compare to other districts?
what’s so bad about being illiterate or
innumerate?
how likely is it that a high school
dropout will end up homeless?
How many jobs in the US go unfilled
because there aren’t enough
qualified applicants?
60
English 9A: Exposition
Punctuating Titles
1) In print, titles of longer works are italicized, or printed in italics. This sentence is printed in italics. In
handwritten papers, underlining is used to set off the words in some kinds of titles: books, plays, book length
poems, newspapers, magazines, pamphlets, movies, and television series, paintings, sculptures, CD titles,
ballets, operas, musicals ships, aircraft, and spacecraft.
2) Use quotation marks to enclose the titles of shorter works: short stories essays
short poems songs, articles
chapters of books television episodes
3) Capitalize the letter of the first word, the last word, and all important words in a title.
Part I - Directions: Add underlining or quotation marks wherever needed in the following sentences.
1. The book American Folk Toys includes directions for making many simple toys.
2. Some students in ballet class will have roles in the Nutcracker Suite.
3. Our group is studying Walter de la Mare’s poem The Listeners.
4. One of my favorite episodes of Star Trek was called The Trouble with Tribbles.
5. The short story A Time of Beginnings was about the life of an artist.
6. In the history book Across the Centuries there’s a chapter called Colonial Americans-How They Lived.
7. Jasmine will sing The Star-Spangled Banner at the baseball game tomorrow night.
8. Walt Disney’s film Fantasia was the first color cartoon to feature classical music.
9. The song Tomorrow is from my favorite musical Annie.
10. I enjoyed Jack London’s story To Build a Fire and his novel The Call of the Wild.
11. North by Northwest is a classic Alfred Hitchcock film.
12. The famous opera Madame Butterfly has a tragic story line.
13. My aunt Lulu always sends me a subscription to National Geographic magazine at Christmas time.
14. Lord Byron’s poem Don Juan is so long that it fills an entire book.
15. The space shuttle Colombia landed perfectly after its flight.
16. I hope to see the exhibit about the Titanic at the Metreon in San Francisco.
17. The San Francisco Examiner had a great article called 49er’s and Raiders Clash.
18. I really liked the way Catherine McPhee sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow on American Idol.
19. Did you like Langston Hughes’ story Thank You Madam?
20. The song Listen on Beyonce’s new album B’Day is from the upcoming movie Dreamgirls.
PART II
21. Write a sentence that contains a song title.
22. Write a sentence that contains a book title.
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English 9A: Exposition
Integrating Quotes: The “T.I.E.S.” method
(stolen liberally from a variety of sources)
Warning: Don’t Drop That Quote!
A “dropped” or “floating” quote is one which is simply plopped into a paragraph with no integration with your
own words. To avoid this, use smooth “T.I.E.S.” between quotations and your own writing. You don’t need to
use the whole sentence or quote. Chop the quote down to the chunk that best fits your sentence or paragraph
structure.
T.I.E.S.: Tag, Introduce, Embed, Split
(all quotes are cited using MLA guidelines, so use this to help you with in text citations)




 Tag: “Quote first,” Context second
 “Where is my God? Where is He?” Weisel asks while suffering in Auschwitz (Douglas 61).
 “But the 1950s were not, in the end, as calm and contented as the politics and the popular culture
of the time suggested,” cautions historian Alan Brinkley, author of American History: A Survey
(817).
 “The social-media-inspired movements may hold all the power, but with very little long-term
effect” according to many scholars around the world (Rode).
 “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” wrote Charles Dickens in A Tale of Two
Cities about the end of the eighteenth century (35).
 Introduce: context first, “Quote second”
 Weisel asks while suffering in Auschwitz, “Where is my God? Where is He?” (Douglas 61).
 According to some scholars around the world “[t]he social-media-inspired movements may hold
all the power, but with very little long-term effect” (Rode).
 For Charles Dickens wrote the end of the eighteenth century was both “the best of times” and
“the worst of times” (35).
 Embed: Context, “Quote,” Context (sandwich the quote)
 Weisel asks, “Where is my God? Where is He?” while suffering in Auschwitz (Douglas 61).
 According to some scholars “[t]he social-media-inspired movements may hold all the power, but
with very little long-term effect” around the globe (Rode).
 For Charles Dickens the end of the eighteenth century was “both the best of times” and “the
worst of times,” and many of his fellow Londoners shared this sentiment (35).
 Split: “Quote,” context, “quote.” (note: be sure that the quote is long enough to split)
 “Where is my God?” Weisel asks, “Where is He?” while suffering in Auschwitz (Douglas 61).
 “The social-media-inspired movements may hold all the power” in some places around the globe
“but with very little long-term effect” (Rode).
 “It was the best of times,” said Dickens, and “it was the worst of times” (35).

A Few MLA Tips:
Key Phrases You Can Use To Introduce Quotes
The first time you use a source, it helps to introduce the
 According to _____, “ ______”
author’s full name, the title, and any other pertinent
 _____ claims that “____”
information.
 As ___ explains, ____
After this, you can use just the author’s last name.
 In fact, _____ asserts that “____”
o When author is not mentioned: (last name 32).
 ___ illustrates it this way: “____”
o When author is mentioned: (32).
If you change any wording within the quote use brackets
 _____ cites ____ who argues “____”
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[]
 ______ contends “_____”
Do not put a punctuation before and after parentheses:
 ______ illustrates “____”
o . (32).
 _____ argues “____”
English 9A: Persuasion
In-Text Citations
In-text citations, also known as parenthetical citations, give the reader citation information immediately, at the
point at which it is most meaningful. Rather than having to turn to a footnote or an end-note, the reader sees the
citation as part of the writer’s text.
Most in-text citations consist of only the author’s last name and a page reference. Usually the author’s name is
given in an introductory or signal phrase at the beginning of the borrowed material, and the page reference is
given in parentheses at the end. If the author’s name is not given at the beginning, put it in parentheses along
with the page reference. The parenthetical reference signals the end of the borrowed material and directs your
readers to the list of works cited should they want to pursue a particular source. Treat electronic sources as you
do print sources, keeping in mind that some electronic sources use paragraph numbers instead of page numbers.
Consider the following examples of in-text citations, which are from a student paper.
In-text Citations (MLA Style)
Educators today are debating whether a flunking grade has any place in today’s educational
arena. In other words, is there some good that comes out of the threat of a flunking grade or even the
grade of F itself? Educator Mary Sherry argues that the threat of flunking can be “a positive teaching
tool” and that students with a “healthy fear of failure” are motivated (447). On the other hand, students
should not be overly afraid to fail. As one popular writer and university professor reminds us, “Failure
isn’t fatal. Countless people have had a bout with it and come out stronger as a result” (Zinsser 451).
The following shows how the preceding in-text citations should appear in the list of works cited at the end of the essay.
List of Works Cited (MLA Style)
Sherry, Mary. “In Prase of the F Word.” Models for Writers. Ed. Alfred Rosa and Paul Escholtz. 7th ed.
Boston: Bedford, 2001. 445-47
Zinsser, William. “The Right to Fail.” Models for Writers. Ed. Alfred Rosa and Paul Escholtz. 7 th Ed.
Boston: Bedford, 2001. 450-53.
General Guidelines:





Begin the list on a new page following the last page of the text
Organize the list alphabetically by author’s last name. if the entry does not have author’s name, alphabetize the
first major word of the title.
Double-Space within and between entries.
Begin each entry at the left margin. If the entry is longer than one line, INDENT the second and subsequent lines
five spaces (Ctrl Tab/Command Tab)
Do not number entries
Your Last Name 14
Works Cited
American Library Association. American Library Association. ALA, 2008. Web. 14 Jan. 2009.
Brouwer, Joel. “The Spots.” Legitimate Dangers: American Poets of the New Century. Ed. Michael
Dumanis and Cate Marvin. Louisville: Sarabande, 2006. 51-52. Print.
Harris, Shan, Allen Harper, and Chris Eagle. “Gray Hat Hacking.” 2 nd ed. New York: McGraw,
2007. 378-83. Print.
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