Chapter 3
Social Connections
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1

Learning Outcomes
2
 Define screentime/edevices interference
 Define Sternberg’s Love Triangle
 Define what is nonverbal communication
 Identify differences between passive, assertive and aggressive

Healthy Personal Relationships
3
 Relationships are at the heart of human experience
 Family
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Community
Classmates, teammates, colleagues
 Acquaintances, friends, intimate partners
 Relationships are fraught with difficulties
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Divorce
Single-parent and blended families
Living alone
Electronic connections

Screen Time
Screen time" is a term used for activities done in front of a screen, such as watching
TV, working on a computer, or playing video games.
Most American children spend about 3 hours a day watching TV. Added together, all types of screen time can total 5 to 7 hours a day.

A. Under one hour
B. Under two hours
C. Under three hours
D. No limit

Current Guidelines
 Children under age 2 should have no screen time.
 Limit screen time to 1 to 2 hours a day for children over age 2.
 Despite what ads may say, videos that are aimed at very young children do not improve their development.

Social skills, EQ, and Edevices
7
 Electronic devices are extremely popular with young people these days. Many log countless hours on IPads, smartphones, and other devices. A new study by researchers at UCLA’s Children’s Digital
Media Center (CDMC), Los Angeles has found that children ’s social skills may be deteriorating as they spend large amounts of time using digital media.
The study is currently available online in the journal
Computers in Human Behavior and will be published in the October print edition of the journal.

A. Strongly Agree
B. Agree
C. Somewhat Agree
D. Neutral
E. Somewhat Disagree
F. Disagree
G. Strongly Disagree

A Healthy Sense of Self
9
 Relationships begin with who you are as an individual and what you bring to the relationship
 Examples of important attributes are:
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A reasonably high self-esteem
A capacity for empathy
The ability both to be alone and to be with others

Sternberg ’ s Love Triangle
10
 Sternberg ’s theory: love has three dimensions
 Intimacy, passion, and commitment
 Different combinations produce different kinds of love
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved.
No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.

Sternberg ’s Love Triangle
11
Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved.
No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education.

Nonverbal Behavior and Metamessages
12
 Nonverbal communication includes facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, body position and movement, and spatial behavior
 Nonverbal and verbal communication cues make up the metamessage , or the unspoken message you send or get when communicating

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Physical appearance and dress
Body movement and posture
Facial expressions
Gestures
Eye contact
Tone and volume
Touch
Silence
Non Verbal

Non Communication

Non Verbal Communication
 Amy Cuddy’s Non Verbal Ted Talk Power Poses!!!
 https://youtu.be/zmR2A9TnIso
 http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/no nverbal-communication.htm

Group A and B - Experiment
 Group A go outside
 Think of a fun story
 Light and entertaining
 You have three minutes and then come back in.
Group B stay inside for further directions
Reflection
Now Group A go outside and Group B stay inside
What works better and why?

Use of Words. Inflection Matters
 What does it matter?
 Let’s reflect on the following
 Use of up-talk- inflection matters
•
 Sarcasm http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/19/things-youshould-never-say-at-work_n_2717990.html
All these involve communication techniques or lack of using direct communication.

Communication Skills
 Passive or Unassertive
 Assertive
 Aggressive
 Passive Aggressive

Passive
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Not expressive feelings, needs or ideas
Letting boundaries be crossed
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May not know what boundaries are
Allowing others to select your rights
 Problems goes unsolved
Give an example/scenario of what passive communication would look or sound like.
What are the immediate or long-term outcomes?
On a scale of 1 low to 10 high, how would you rate yourself as a passive communicator?

Assertive
 Use of “I statements”
 Honest and open
 Direct and clear with needs
 Timely
Give a scenario of assertive language to problem solve.
What were the long and short term outcomes?
How would you rate yourself as an assertive communicator on a scale from 1(low) to 10 (high)

Aggressive
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Uses “You statements”
Dominating and uses bullying techniques
Patronizing
In the short run aggressive communications may get what they want and get a sense of power. In the long run, it dissolves trust.
Give a scenario of aggressive language to problem solve. What were the long and short term outcomes?
How would you rate yourself as an assertive communicator on a scale from 1(low) to 10 (high)

Passive Aggressive

Passive Aggressive cont.

Passive Aggressive
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Combination of passive and aggressive
Confusing with indirect communication
Not direct 
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Use of sarcasm with the problem
Can keep people from resolving issues, hurt feelings, and encourages distrust
Give a scenario of assertive language to problem solve. What were the long and short term outcomes?
How would you rate yourself as an assertive communicator on a scale from 1(low) to 10 (high)

Stages of A Relationship
25
 Attraction
 Uncertainty
 Exclusivity
 Intimacy
 Engagement
 Mars and Venus on a Date

RELATIONSHIPS - WE ALL HAVE THEM

WE ARE SURROUNDED BY RELATIONSHIPS

WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIPS DO YOU
HAVE?
• PARENTS • FRIENDS
• GRANDPARENTS • TEAM MATES
• BROTHERS/SISTERS • CO-WORKERS
• GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS • CLASSMATES
• AUNTS/UNCLES

WHAT DOES “ HEALTHY ” MEAN?
 SOMETHING THAT GIVES US THE FEELING OF
“WELL BEING”
 BENEFICIAL IN PRESERVING OR RESTORING
HEALTH
 GOOD FOR SOMEONE – PHYSICALLY, MORALLY,
OR BOTH

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CHARACTERISTICS OF TOXIC
RELATIONSHIPS
 DISHONEST
 SELFISH
 RUDE
 NEGATIVE
 PUTS YOU DOWN
 UNPREDICTABLE
 DRAINING
 FULL OF DRAMA
 CONTROLLING
 ADDICTION
 USER
 ABUSE

RESULTS OF
TOXIC

RELATIONSHIPS
DRAINED
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LOW SELF-ESTEEM
 ABUSE
 CONTROL
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BEING STUCK

REMEMBER YOUR GOALS & DREAMS….

Is it healthy? * Am I happy? * Is it fun?
* Is it building me up or bringing me down?
*Am I really able to be myself?
*Am I free?
*Is it safe? Do my friends/family like him/her?